Starting Over
by WynterC
Summary: It has been a hard road for the Cullens since Edward left Bella in Forks. Now, twenty years later, while attending high school in a small city in Alaska, they meet Jane Watson. Will Edward take another chance?
1. Chapter 1 My Life

_STARTING OVER_

_By Wynter C_

_**Author's Notes: **_

_**Disclaimer: All characters associated with Twilight belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**_

_**Note: This takes story takes place twenty years after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon**_**. Enjoy!**

CHAPTER 1

My Life

**JWPOV**

"Will you get your face out of the book long enough to listen to me! I have a dilemma here, and you don't seem to care!" Mackenzie shot a hurt look my way.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me, but this book has to be read by next month for my English class." I marked my spot in the book, closed it and focused on Mackenzie. "You have my undivided attention."

"Like you haven't read _Ivanhoe _more than a dozen times. At least once this summer." Mackenzie shook her black curls and rolled her green eyes. It was true. I had read _Ivanhoe _over the summer and at least once every other year before that. I was a book worm, but what did anyone expect. My father taught English Literature and mom owned a bookstore. "Anyway, like I was saying obviously on deaf ears, I don't know whether or not I should ask Tyson to Homecoming or drop subtle hints and wait for him to ask me. What do you think?"

I stared blankly at my friend. Why is she asking me? I have the least experience with boys. If I didn't provided some type of answer, Mackenzie wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the week. She would go on and on about how she wished she had a friend that would be there in her time of need. Problem with Mackenzie, it was always her time of need. "I think you need to at least wait a week or two and see if he ask you. You can drop hints, but don't over do it. If he doesn't ask you in two weeks, you ask him."

"What if he ask someone else in those two long weeks I'm waiting on him? What then?" Mackenzie jumped up off the bench and grabbed her book bag. "Jane Watson, you can be no help at all some times. I swear, I don't know why I put up with your ridiculous advise. I guess I will have to do it by myself as always."

I sat there and watched her storm off. Looking at my watch, I figured I may as well head on to class. I picked up by book bag and headed off to my locker. I felt more comfortable now that I had been at North Pole High for two years. Me and my family had moved here in the middle of my Freshman year. It took some getting use to. Not only weather wise, but population wise. In Jacksonville, Florida, my high school was well over 5,000. Here, the school had only about 1,000 students. Didn't make my life any easier. I was still an outcast and clicks was that much more obvious and hard to fit into. I had been lucky to get Mackenzie as a science partner. She was fairly new to the school at the time and welcomed me as her new friend. I wouldn't call us best friends, just friends. I don't have a best friend per-say. I'm pretty much a loner. Some people consider me stuck-up, but I'm far from it.

"I don't know why all these new people keep coming here." I stood at my locker getting the books for the first two periods, when I overheard a couple of the cheerleaders talking. There wasn't a lot of traffic in the hallway, so ease dropping was easy. "Why would anyone want to move here? I am so ready to graduate and leave."

"Yeah, me too. I think there are like a total of five kids in that family. Have they ever heard of birth control or something."

"Well, from what I could hear from the some of the faculty, they are adopted. This doctor and his wife took them in and they aren't all related. They are suppose to be well off."

"I don't care if they are billionaires and kin to the President, I don't like new…" The hallway was getting more crowded now and I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. Apparently, these poor kids were going to have their work cut out for them if they expected to join the cheerleading squad or anything else for that mater.

I walked on to my first class, Geometry. I hate math! I'm glad I have it first period to get it out of the way. Only thing I hate worse than it is Physical Education but thank God I have finished my requirements already. I'm pretty much a klutz. Dad says I inherited it from mom. Everything that is wrong with me he says I inherited from mom. The hospital is on speed dial at the house. I was overly glad when the bell rang releasing me from charts, graphs and pies, and walked to my next class, History.

I went in and took my usual seat near the back of the class, taking out my laptop to take notes on. I wasn't paying much attention, then I heard the chair next to me slide across the floor. I looked over and stared. She was the most perfect person I had ever seen. She was very tiny, short brown hair, porcelain skin and wearing the most gorgeous outfit. I didn't realize I was gapping until I noticed her topaz eyes looking at me and a startled expression on her face. I could feel my face blush and directed my attention back to my laptop.

"Alright kids, lets settle down." Mr. Knowles waived his arms up and down motioning for everyone to take their seats. "Before I start, lets make our new student feel welcomed. Now…"

"Freak." I heard someone close by mumble and then a couple of giggles followed.

"I guess we are suppose to be impressed because the newbie is wearing some fancy clothes. NOT!" and that was followed by more giggles. Mr. Knowles was lost in his speech about World War I and was oblivious as to what was going on in the back of the classroom.

I glanced over and saw that she just sat there with a light smile on her face, keeping her eyes on the teacher. "Hi." I couldn't let her think that everyone was terrible. "I'm Jane. Jane Watson. Welcome to North Pole High."

She looked at me and smiled a little wider. "Hi, Jane." Her voice was like none I had ever heard before. It was so lovely and sweet that it could make you feel happy just listening to her. "My name is Alice. Alice Cullen. Thank you for welcoming me, that means a lot."

When the bell rang, I looked over at Alice. "You want to hang out with me and my friend for break?"

She hesitated as she got up, then flashed me a smile. "Thank you, but I think I will look for my brothers and sister."

"Oh. Okay, um, maybe I'll see you in another class." I smiled at her and she gave me a curious look before skipping off. She had said brothers in plural form and sister in singular. I heard earlier that there were five kids. Alice and her sister, that meant three brothers. I walked to my locker and grabbed what I needed for 3rd, 4th and 5th period. I heard footsteps running up behind me and turned a little to quick. I wasn't paying attention and my head slammed into my locker door.

"Great day, Jane! Are you trying to knock yourself out?" Mackenzie shook her head, again obviously disgusted in me. "Have you seen any of the new kids?" Mackenzie's green eyes were huge.

"I met one, Alice. She's small and dark haired." I turned back to my locker to finish gathering my things.

"Oh My God! I had math class with one of the guys and he is gorgeous. It is like looking at a sculpture of Apollo. I think I will forget about Tyson and go after him."

I closed my locker and started walking with Mackenzie who had stars in her eyes. "Was everyone nice to him? They were very rude to Alice."

"They didn't say anything to him. I think all the guys were jealous and the girls couldn't say anything. I'm telling you, at lunch I will point him out, but he wont be hard to miss. Holy cow, I think I'm in love." Poor Tyson. I hope Mackenzie won't make a fool of herself in front of him. Tyson was a done deal for her. This Apollo sounded like a heart break waiting to happen.

I made it through my next three classes, then I was off to lunch. This was my first year eating with Seniors. The Freshman and Sophomores eat together and the Juniors and Seniors eat together. I went through the line and picked up my usual; peanut butter sandwich, apple and milk.

I caught a glimpse of Mackenzie waiving me over to her and started that way. I saw Alice sitting over in a corner with a blonde guy and a huge brunette guy. Were those her brothers? They had the same pale skin and both were just as breath taking as she was. I thought the rumor was that they weren't all kin. I didn't realize I had stopped in the middle of the cafeteria and was staring at them. It wasn't until someone bumped me and I lost grip of my tray. The loud clatter was heard all over the room and my face felt on fire. I hurried and knelt picking up the mess.

"Way to go, nerd." I heard someone yell across the room and then there was laughing. I reached to pick up the carton of milk but a pale, tiny hand beat me to it.

"Let me help." I looked up and saw Alice kneeling across from me helping pick my lunch up off the floor.

"You don't have to. I'm such a klutz, all the time." I stood and smiled at her. "Thank you."

"Not a problem. You want me to get you something else?"

It took me a while to understand what she meant. Of course I couldn't eat my food after it had fallen to the floor. "Oh, no. I'm okay. I wasn't all that hungry to begin with."

"You can have mine, I haven't touched it." She grabbed my sleeve to pull me towards her table. I glanced over towards Mackenzie to get some help, but she was lost looking towards the door. As I approached the table, there was a drop dead gorgeous blond female that had sat down next to the huge guy. She was glaring at me with the same topaz colored eyes that Alice had. I looked at the guys and they all had the same eye color. "Not all kin" came back to mind. They had to be all be related somehow. You don't see those eyes just anywhere.

"Alice, what are you doing?" the blond asked through clinched teeth.

"This is my new friend, Jane Watson. She dropped her food and I offered to give her mine so she doesn't go hungry." Alice gave a tight smile back.

"Well, give her your food, but she can't sit here. There is only room for one more and our brother will be joining us very shortly." When she directed her eyes towards me, there was no friendliness to her voice. "Please, take it and leave."

"Now just a minute Rosa…" but I didn't let Alice finish.

"Thanks Alice, but really, I'm not hungry at all. I'll see ya 'round." I turned and walked as fast as I could towards the exit. I didn't want to be around, or the object, of a family argument. I didn't bother to turn back when I heard one of the guys say, "Think he will notice the scent?"

After Latin II, I was starving. My stomach was growling so bad, I couldn't think. I wish I would have ignored the lethal glares and taken Alice's lunch. She looked clean enough and it had appeared untouched. I assumed that her sister had been picked on enough today, that she wasn't going to take it anymore and thought that I was one of the bad guys. Why else would she have such animosity in her eyes. I stopped by one of the snack machines to grab a pack of crackers to keep me from feeling faint. Of course, I spilt my change all over the floor. I ran hoping I wasn't going to be late for science class. Bad mistake. I fell at least once and stumbled twice. I was late anyway. I walked in the room and tried to sneak pass Mrs. Sims.

"Nice of you to join us today Ms. Watson. You will still be marked as absent."

"Yes ma'am." I kept my eyes on the floor and walked to my seat hearing snickering as I passed. I sat down and took out my laptop. This was turning out to be a terrible day. I heard some movement behind me and turned to see who had taken the vacant chair.

I froze.

His other brothers and sisters didn't hold a candle to him. It was like looking at the perfect example of how man was suppose to look, straight from God's hands to Earth. He was too beautiful to be human.

The only problem was, his eyes. They didn't sparkle like the others. They looked haunted and full of misery. But everything else was perfect: bronze hair, porcelain skin, well defined jaw line, perfect lips…

I just continued to stare. This had to be the one that Mackenzie was talking about. Apollo. I couldn't remember if she had told me his real name.

"Ms. Watson! Would you and Mr. Cullen care to share your conversation with the whole class?" I hadn't noticed that Mrs. Sims had stopped lecturing. I hadn't observed all the eyes that were now looking at me and this magnificent being.

"Um…" If I would have been able to crawl under my desk and slip out through a rabbit hole, I would have loved that. I was so embarrassed. I quickly turned around, but Mrs. Sims wanted to torture me some more.

"Ms. Watson. I wonder what your father will say when I tell him about your disruptions today? You interrupted me by being late, you distract other students by talking in my class.

I will not cry, I will not get angry, I will not…

"Please, Mrs. Sims, it was my fault." When he spoke I thought I was going to pass out. That voice. It was even more compelling than Alice's had been. I just stared at my computer, wide eyed and open mouthed. "She turned to welcome me to North Pole High and, well, I couldn't stop talking. I apologize for being so rude."

Mrs. Sims stood there. It was a moment before she answered and she sounded like a different person. "That's quite alright. We want your first day at our school to be as pleasant and opening as possible. That was very kind of Ms. Watson and I'm sorry for being so abrasive." She turned around and continued her lecture.

When class was dismissed, I turned to thank my savior only to find that he had already left. I picked up my bag and walked back to my locker to grab my books for homework. I headed towards my old faithful Honda and saw in the corner of the parking lot a big, red Hummer. I wasn't the only one staring, but I was staring for a different reason. The Cullen's were gathered at the vehicle and seemed to be having a disagreement. I counted four and noticed that Apollo wasn't with them. I turned back towards the school to see if he was just late getting there, but there was no sign of him. I looked back towards the family feud and all but two had jumped inside the vehicle. I saw Alice looking at me with what appeared to be an apologetic smile before the blond guy whispered in her ear and helped her in the vehicle. They left like a bat out of hell. I was still standing outside my car wondering where the other wonderful brother could have gone and why was Alice looking at me like that. I jerked myself back to attention and hurried to pick up my little brother at North Pole Elementary.

He was waiting with a couple of his friends and ran to jump in the car. "Looks like your day was pretty good, huh?" I asked. He seemed to have adjusted to our change much better than I had. Funny, my parents had been more worried about him than me and I was the one barely keeping my head above water.

"Yeah, it was good. John invited me over to his house this weekend to go camping with his dad. Said mine can come too, but no girls!" I laughed and looked at his brown eyes, same as mine.

"No problem. I don't want to hang out with a bunch of stinking guys anyway." He told me about his exciting day on the way home and once there, he ran into the house to do his homework. I went ahead and walked in the kitchen to start supper before studying

After I had prepared ham & cheese casserole, I headed up to my room to work on my homework. Austen was finished with his and playing some type of cosmic-shoot-em-up game online with his friends. I settled down and started with my least favorite subject, math. By the time I had finished beating my head against the wall, breaking at least five pencils, wadding up at least seventeen pieces of paper and busting some blood vessels in my brain, I had completed my math assignment and mom was home.

I ran and gave her a hug. "How was work?"

"Fine. Austen got his homework?" she asked kicking off her shoes.

"Yeah, he's playing a game with some friends. I'm going to set the table, suppers almost ready."

"Thank you, honey." She hugged me again. "I don't know what I would do without you."

I was able to set the table and make homemade hash browns by the time my father walked through the door. I stood in the kitchen and watched my parents. In a world where divorce was growing rapidly, it gave me a sense of security to see them still happy with each other. He always looked at her like it was the first time he ever really saw her and she in return did her best to make him happy. However, it hadn't always been like this. Life was very difficult when I was a small child. My father was still going to college to get his degree and I remember the tension that was between them sometimes. For some reason, out the blue, my mother would hear something or see something that would send her hyperventilating and sobbing uncontrollably. My father would just hold her and let it pass. She would apologize and say it wouldn't happen again, but it always did. It stopped all of the sudden, six years later, when she was pregnant with Austen. She had come to some kind of peace within herself. It was amazing to watch her transform. I wish I could be as strong a woman as she is. I hope that maybe one day she will explain to me and open up about what had happened so many years ago.

She turned and saw me watching her. "Are you okay Jane?" her brown eyes looking concerned back at mine.

"I'm fine. Suppers ready."

We all sat down as a family, as we always had. Austen talked about his day at school and asked dad if he wanted to go with him over to John's for the campout. Of course, dad said he would have to talk to John's parents before promising anything.

"Jane, how was your day at school?"

"Fine. There is a new family in town. They seem pretty nice."

"Well, why don't you invite them over sometime. You know how hard it was for you when we first came." mom said.

"I'll see." I knew Alice would probably accept, but the rest of the family was up for grabs except for the blond sister, that was a definite no.

Supper continued as normal. When it was finished, mom encouraged me to finish my homework and she would clean up. Dad went to work on his itinerary for tomorrow and Austen went to watch television. The rest of my homework was easy. I finished it quickly, got my shower and hoped in the bed with _Ivanhoe. _

"Jane! Telephone!" I looked over at the clock. Who in the world could be calling me this time of night? I ran down the stairs and took the receiver from mom's hand.

"Hello?"

"Did you get to see him? I saw him at lunch and then I went to look for you and you had left. Where did you go? Did you even eat?" Mackenzie was throwing questions at me so fast I was having trouble keeping up with which ones to answer.

"No, I didn't eat. You didn't see me drop my tray in front of the whole Junior and Senior class?" I saw mom give me a worried look and all I could do was shrug.

"I wasn't paying that much attention. I was busy looking for my future husband."

"Well, yes, I've seen him. He sits behind me in 7th period."

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!!"

"No, really he does. You're right. He is - dreamy." I couldn't help but smile. Hearing his voice speaking up for me and rescuing me from the evil teacher, dreamy. I looked over and mom was paying even more attention to me now. This time her look was curious instead of pity.

"Hands off! He is mine! I saw him first!" Mackenzie didn't sound like she was playing. I still wasn't sure about her moods.

"I wouldn't think of it. I hadn't planned on fighting you for him like he's a piece of meat. Can I admit that he is handsome?"

" 'Handsome' doesn't begin to do him justice. You can have one of his brothers. They look 'handsome'. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to wear my low cut shirt and mini skirt." The line went dead. If I could find another friend, I would dump Mackenzie and never look back. The fact that she was my only friend was pathetic even for me. Maybe Alice could change that.

"Must be talking about the new guy at school. 'Dreamy', huh?" Mom was smiling at me as I hung up the phone. I hadn't really talked a lot about boys with her. There was never any to talk about.

"He's pretty cute. Mackenzie likes him a lot. He doesn't seem to be my type."

Mom had finished drying the towels and was leaning against the kitchen counter listening to me. She was beautiful. People compared me to her all the time, but the only resemblance that I could see were our brown eyes, fair skin and some of our habits. I wouldn't consider myself beautiful. "It's your Junior year, Jane, live a little. Trust me, it's okay to step out of the box every now and then. Some guys you think that may not be worth the chase could be the one you wish you'd caught."

"Okay, mom. I'm going to bed. See you in the morning." I kissed her goodnight and trotted back up the stairs


	2. Chapter 2 Breathe

CHAPTER 2

Breathe

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with Twilight belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**APOV**

Another day, another school, another year. If it wasn't for the love of showing off new outfits everyday, I might hate it. So many clothes, so little…who am I kidding. I've got plenty of time. Jasper and I have already eaten, so there wont be any problems being around new humans today. I haven't had any unpleasant visions, so we're good there.

My brother, Edward, is the one everyone is concerned about. We have been since he left the love of his life twenty years ago in Forks, WA. He left her to make her safe, even though I had told him time and time again that she was safer with us than without. Apparently my advise was not heeded. You would think he should have known not to bet against me. We had that close call with James down in Phoenix, but you can't blame me because Bella had made a sudden decision to play a martyr. I guess if I had been in her position, afraid that a crazy vampire was going to kill my mother and told me not to tell or bring anyone, then I would have done the same thing. But she should have trusted us and things would have went a lot smoother.

Bella, I loved her like a sister. It broke everyone's heart (except Rosalie) when Edward had decided to leave. Poor Jasper. Even today he takes responsibility for the last nail in the coffin on Edward's choice. At her birthday party, he had lost control when she cut herself and almost took her life. Would have, if Edward hadn't been able to read his thoughts and been so fast to stop him. I don't know why I hadn't seen it! I still beat myself up about it. If only I would have known and been able to avert the whole thing. I have to be careful thinking about these things in front of my brother. We all have to be careful. We haven't mentioned Bella's name or Forks for twenty years. I don't think we will ever move back there.

I often wonder about how she is doing now. Edward assured me that she was fine. I had a vision, about six months after we had left, of her jumping off a cliff. I was terrified that because of his asinine decision, she had ended her life. I was going to check on her myself, but Jasper stopped me and said I should respect Edward's wishes and stay out of it. I couldn't do that. I broke down and called him in South America to tell him I broke his rule and had checked on Bella and I thought she was in trouble. Couldn't bring myself to tell him that she might be dead. He, as usual, panicked and blamed himself. He said he should have never gotten involved with her to being with and her life was ruined because of him. He flew back to Forks that day. I had offered to meet him, but he lectured me about staying out of his and Bella's life and said if he needed help, he would call Carlisle or Esme. No offense was taken, that was just Edward. I don't know what happened, but he showed up in Vancouver where we were living and said it was a tainted vision. My vision tainted? I went to question him but he cut me off with his stare and said that Bella was perfectly fine and his decision had been the right one. That was the last time her name was mentioned.

We had a time with Edward a few months after that. He was determined to go to the Volturi and end his life, saying it wasn't worth living anymore. He has always believed that he is damned and suppose to live in misery. That he is a monster and has no soul. Yeah, he's a masochist. We tell him and tell him that if he was that way he would be unable to love at all. He has such a hard head, and when he makes his mind up about something…he worries me. He had planned on asking the Volturi to end his miserable existence and if they wouldn't agree to that then he would make them. We all begged and pleaded with him not to. We even said that we were going with him and if he went down, we all went down. It was Esme, our dear mother, who was able to convince him not to. He must have seen all the pain he was causing everyone, especially her and Carlisle, so he dropped it. He apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. He was being selfish and just because he was in pain didn't mean we all had to be. He was just going to live by himself, but Esme and the rest of us would here nothing of it. He was Carlisle's oldest son and it would have given him much grief if Edward would have left. We were a family and stuck together like a family, good or bad, happy or sad. Plus, we needed him more than he needed us. He brings balance to our lives.

Life has moved on since then. It hasn't been very exciting. Edward keeps to himself and hasn't played his piano since we left. We have all agreed to restrain ourselves from showing affection while in his presence. It is very hard and we mess up sometimes, but we would do anything for him. We all love him so much and his pain kills me everyday. Jasper does his best to try and make him less depressed, but Edward knows what he's doing and scowls at him. Emmett's always trying to make him smile and play games with him, but Edward never seems interested and declines his offer with a smile. He goes hunting with Carlisle and Emmett often. Rosalie has turned into his favorite sister. Even though that hurts a lot, I understand. Rosalie never agreed with his relationship with Bella. She thought he was playing with fire and it was only going to end badly and she had been right. Both hearts, forever scared. Just one will end one day while the other will remain forever.

I have to snap out of it or he will read my mind and know what I've been thinking. It's a new day at a new school and I don't want him in a sour mood before we even get there. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

"Good morning, Alice. Ready for school?"

"Yes, mother. Everyone else already come down?"

"They have eaten and waiting on you. I told them you were probably having a hard choice on deciding what to wear. Have a good time." Esme and I kissed and hugged then I was off. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

I see Rosalie has chosen to wear her painted on jeans and snug fitting sweater, good choice. Emmett and Jasper looking handsome as always. Edward…gray. Figures. That seems to be the only thing he has in his closet; all gray, all black, or all whi…

"Alice, really. Is my wardrobe that disconcerting to you?" Edward frowned.

"I don't know why you can't add some color to your life. It might make you feel…"

"Alice, dear. We don't want to be late." Jasper cut me off with a warning look in his eyes. Right, I don't want to push Edward on our first day at school.

"Sorry. Your outfit is very - becoming of you, brother." I smiled and got in the Hummer next to Jasper.

As always, Edward drove. He thinks he is a much better driver than the rest of us. I think he just wants to feel important.

"I like to drive. Does there have to be a reason behind everything! Can't somebody just do something without there having to be a purpose behind it?!"

"Would you please quit reading my thoughts?! Do you realize how aggravating…"

"Yes, I do! It's probably as aggravating as someone always seeing your future!"

"Will you two please shut the hell up! I don't like having a bad mood before entering a new school." Rosalie wasn't enjoying our dispute? "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. Edward, quit paying attention to our thoughts and don't say you can't because we know you can."

I can't stand silence. "You drive very well and I'm glad you enjoy it."

"Alice!!" Emmett and Rosalie shouted at me. Edward didn't say a word, just kept his frown in place and drove with eyes focused on the road.

We pulled up to our new school at North Pole High. There are only about 1,000 students, so we are bound to draw attention to ourselves. We find it a easier at smaller schools to be able to keep to ourselves though. Yeah, there is attention but rarely does anyone ever want to associate with us outside the school walls. At larger schools, everyone tries to invite you in their group. The gothics love us, the snobs love us, the jocks love us, the nerds love us, we just fit in everywhere in larger schools. Small schools, they can't keep their eyes off us but are afraid to approach. It's safer for them that way.

As I was getting out of the Hummer, it came to me so fast I had to reach out and grab Jasper to keep from falling over. Damn visions! Edward, running away from school so fast. Rosalie, yelling and blaming me. Emmett, with a look of concern on his face. Jasper, trying to calm me and Rosalie down. A girl with dirty blond hair, watching us, standing next to an old blue… I turned and there it was. An old blue Honda, but there was no girl standing by it. I saw some of the attention we were getting as being new kids standing next to a very expensive vehicle. I straightened myself and looked at Jasper.

"What did you see?" he asked me with a look of concern on his face. I normally didn't have visions to tell us we were in store for a wonderful surprise. If I have a vision, there is usually something terrible that follows. I haven't had a good vision since I had that one at…happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

"I don't know. I didn't make any sense." I looked over at Edward and he looked frightened. "I saw you running away from school, but I don't know why. Rosalie was yelling…"

"Why would I be running? What happened Alice?" He started towards me, but Emmett laid a hand on his shoulder to stop his advancement. He seemed to calm down and look around. "What else was there?"

"That was it. Like I said, it doesn't make any sense." I wasn't going to tell him about the girl. I have no idea why she was even in it. Had she been laying on the ground with puncture wounds at her throat, then I would have understood. I glanced at Edward to see if he saw what I had seen, but he didn't show any sign. Maybe he was adhering to Rosalie's request. Thank God.

"Alright. People are starting to stare. Lets act normal and go register. We know the drill." Rosalie took charge and walked towards the entrance of the school with Emmett taking her hand walking beside her.

Edward took a few steps then hesitated. "I trust you're not keeping anything from me Alice."

I looked him square in the face and shook my head. "If I understood it, I would tell you." He paused before giving a short nod and followed Rose an Emmett. Then it was just me and Jasper. He looked at me, but I knew he wasn't going to push. "I swear, Jazz, I don't know. I just have this sense of déjà vu."

"Is there any more you want to tell me? Maybe I can help." He smiled at me. I had been so lucky to find him.

"There was a girl watching us. I don't think she saw Edward run, but she looked…interested in our family. I don't know why that is important. She was standing by that car." I pointed to the old Honda. "There was just something about how she was looking. Strange."

"You don't think…"

"No. She didn't look scared or mad. She just looked intrigued." I turned and looked again at the car. "We need to get moving or we're going to be late on the first day. That will not be good for our record." I smiled at him to try and show that everything was going to be fine, but Jasper knew me better than that. He put his arm through mine and walked towards the school. I couldn't help myself from glancing around to see if I recognized the girl from my vision. No such luck.

It appeared that we weren't going to have any problems with people wanting to hang out with us at this school. No one seemed to be overly friendly except for the adults and some of the kids. I guess it could be jealousy that makes people so mean, but mainly ignorance. I all my years, I have learned to over look many things, and bullying is not one of them. I can take it, but I don't like it. I have to watch myself and not expose my strength. That is why none of us ever take Physical Ed or try out for sports. It's just not fair to the humans. Oh, but I would love to show them cheerleaders how to really do cartwheels and handsprings. Bitches.

I walked into my 2nd period class, history, and handed my new student form to the teacher. He smiled and welcomed me, then pointed to apparently the only vacant chair available towards the back of the class. I moved and heard the vile comments that some of the students had made as I passed. They didn't know that I could hear the tiniest whisper. I sat down and pretended like everything was normal. Then I caught the scent. Freesias.

I couldn't help turning my head as fast as I did, but I was caught off guard. I saw the dirty blond haired girl that was in my vision sitting next to me staring back with brown eyes. What is it about those eyes that makes me nervous? She must have noticed that I was staring back and dropped her eyes back to her laptop. What is going on? I quickly turned my attention back to the teacher and tried to pay attention, but my mind was going ninety to nothing.

"Freak." I heard some idiot say close by then other idiots laughing with him.

"I guess we are suppose to be impressed because the newbie is wearing some fancy clothes. NOT!" That came from one of those brainless cheerleaders.

Then I heard her speak. "Hi. I'm Jane. Jane Watson. Welcome to North Pole High." I looked over at her. Her voice was kind and friendly. I could tell she wasn't like the rest of the jerks in the classroom.

I smiled back. "Hi, Jane. My name is Alice. Alice Cullen. Thank you for welcoming me, that means a lot." She smiled and turned back to taking notes.

The bell rang dismissing us for break. "You want to hang out with me and my friend for break?" I looked over at her and stalled for a moment. How odd that she didn't seem concerned by my looks. People usually didn't offer friendship to our kind in such a hurry without being lured.

"Thank you, but I think I will look for my brothers and sister." I didn't want to be rude, but the others would worry about me if I didn't show up after my first two periods at a new school. Situations like this could be very dangerous for our kind, and theirs.

"Oh. Okay, um, maybe I'll see you in another class." I smiled at her, turned and skipped off.

I found my family near the backside of the school where very few people were gathered. They were sitting on a couple of benches that were under some trees. Jasper smiled at me as I joined them.

"Have you ever seen such rude people?" Rosalie shook her blond locks of hair. I could say, "yeah" and point right at her, but I didn't want to fight. "This is going to be a breeze keeping to ourselves. Are you guys having any problems?"

Jasper shook his head and Emmett laughed. "They haven't said anything to me."

"There is this girl in my math class that had saliva coming out of her mouth. Her thoughts were…let's just say, not repeatable. Seems to be one in every school." Edward had sort of gotten use to the female attention he seemed to get and it annoyed him.

"You poor baby." Rosalie said without any compassion in her voice. "While you had a girl drooling over you, I had guys making cattle calls to me. I wanted to break their jaws. I hope they gain some class soon or I'll be the one to expose ourselves."

They must have noticed that I hadn't said a word since joining them, and all their eyes looked my way.

"And what about you, darling? Has any guy, or girl for that matter, made any crude remarks your way?" Jasper smiled and waited for my answer.

"Just a few. But they aren't all bad. Just like every other school, you have some rotten apples, some sour, some sweet, some…"

"Yeah, we get the point." Rosalie had enough.

Edward got up and started walking off, "My next class is all the way on the other side of the building. I'll see you at lunch."

"He seems to be doing okay. I think it helps him to have girls woo over him." Emmett smiled and kissed Rosalie's hand.

While they talked about their classes, I couldn't help but running Jane Watson's face through my mind and trying to figure out what it was about her that made me nervous. She wasn't another vampire, though her pale skin could pass for one. She had a heartbeat, there was no doubt blood was flowing through her veins. I could smell it. It smelt just like…They must have heard my gasp, because all went silent around me.

"Another vision?" I heard Emmett ask.

"No, she doesn't have that look." I felt Jasper's calming touch and looked at him.

"Oh, my, God. You guys, there is a girl that was in my last class that smells like…you know who."

Rosalie sucked in a breath, Jasper looked terrified, and Emmett looked lost. "Who?"

"Bella!!!" we all yelled at him.

"Is she the one you saw in your vision?" Jasper asked me taking both my hands.

"Wait! You didn't say anything about a girl that looks like Bella in your vision. Alice, what in the hell is going on?!" Rosalie looked like she was going to snap. Emmett tried to relax her, but he looked panicked also. Jasper started using his power in overdrive. "Don't try to make this supportable, Jasper! This can only end very badly, like it did before." Rosalie set her eyes on me. "Now tell us the whole vision."

I took a deep breath and told her the part that I left out. It hadn't made any sense to me, until now. It wasn't that Jane looked just like Bella, but she damn sure smelt like her. Edward must have picked up on Jane's scent and that was why he was running.

"Well, we either have to tell him or make sure he doesn't have contact with this Jane girl." Emmett sat back down and ran his hands through his hair. "He's gonna freak."

"I don't see any other choice than to tell him, now. What if his next class is with her? What if he loses control?" Rosalie shook her head in dread.

"Poor guy. Hasn't he been through enough?" Jasper looked distraught.

"I think it will be good for him." As it passed my lips, all three of them looked at me like I had just committed the ultimate sin and drank human blood.

"You aren't serious, Alice?" Rosalie's voice sharp and direct. "You do remember the last time? You do remember how he left us after he meet Bella? You do remember the torment he put himself through trying to be with her? Seeing him so happy one minute, sad the next, and hating himself for not being strong enough to stay away from her. I don't want to lose him again! I am going to tell him!"

"Now wait, Rosalie! I remember everything perfectly. Don't pretend that you love him more than the rest of us. You may have known him longer, but that doesn't mean you love him more. My memory is a little different than yours. I remember him leaving, but I remember him coming back because he couldn't stay away. I remember how his eyes would light up when she walked into a room. I remember him playing his piano when we stayed home from school and coming up with songs that she would like. I remember seeing them together laughing and talking. I remember him feeling comfortable being around us, feeling more alive than he had since 1918. Do you honestly think that seeing him like this now is better? Walking around with nothing to live for? With no one to share private and personal feelings with? I know Edward! He might go crazy at first because it is going to reopen wounds that haven't healed properly in the first place, but it is his decision to make, not yours or mine!"

"I don't think it is safe for him to meet her without being warned." Rosalie wasn't going to back down, but she had lost some of her bite.

"Look you two." Jasper had been listening and debating both sides. "Rose, we aren't going to be able to catch up with him in time for his next class anyway. Alice didn't see any harm coming to the girl, so he doesn't lose control. He will probably go crazy, but that is what we are here for. I think it best if we just forget about this. Let's go through the rest of the day as normal as possible, and let nature take it's course." He looked over at me with a stern look on his face. "Alice, love, please don't take this the wrong way, but lets not try to push this thing. If it happens, it happens without our involvement. We block this from our minds, and when we get home, we discuss the problem with Carlisle and Esme before we confront Edward. But do not, in any way, try to intervene on fate. Okay?"

The bell rang, ending our break, leaving us agreeing with Jasper as to how to handle this volatile situation. I could tell Rosalie was not too excited with the decision, but she had been outvoted. I went through my next three classes not seeing Jane or Edward anywhere, but I hadn't had any more visions either. It was lunch time and I went through the line picking up what appeared good and went to the table Emmett had settled in, close to the door but away from everyone else. Jasper was behind me and pulled my chair out for me.

"Have you seen her anymore?" Emmett asked pushing his tray of food away. If you didn't know him, you would think that what little food he had on his tray wouldn't be enough to fill up a guy his size.

"No. She hasn't been in any of my other classes. But, I haven't seen Edward either."

"Any more visions?" Jasper asked rubbing my back. I smiled at him thankful for his concern.

"No." Then a loud noise brought our attention to the center of the cafeteria. There she was, staring down at the tray that had fallen from her hands, or knocked out. Her face was red with embarrassment.

"Way to go, nerd." someone yelled across the room and then people were laughing. I couldn't take it. I felt sorry for her. She had been nice to me and needed help. I went to her aid against Emmett and Jasper's protest. She was kneeling down picking up her spilt food. We both reached for her milk at the same time, but I was quicker.

"Let me help."

"You don't have to. I'm such a klutz, all the time." She stood and I saw her gracious smile. "Thank you."

"Not a problem. You want me to get you something else?" The laughter had died down and people were back to minding their own business. She stood there a while looking at me like I wasn't speaking English.

"Oh, no. I'm okay. I wasn't all that hungry to begin with."

"You can have mine, I haven't touched it." I grabbed her by the sleeve, making sure my cold hand didn't touch her skin, and pulled her over to my table. I saw that Rosalie had joined Jasper and Emmett and had a furious look on her face. I wasn't doing what we had agreed to, I was helping fate along. Edward hadn't made it to lunch yet, but he was bound to show up soon.

"Alice, what are you doing?" I felt Jane tense up next to me as Rosalie spoke with venom.

"This is my new friend, Jane Watson. She dropped her food and I offered to give her mine so she doesn't go hungry." I smiled back as sweetly as I could. I was trying to make them believe that I had a perfectly good reason to bring this ticking time bomb to our table. I was doing what was properly right just as our parents had raised us.

"Well, give her your food, but she can't sit here. There is only room for one more and our brother will be joining us very shortly." Rosalie cut her eyes back to Jane and used her persuasion in not such a nice tone. "Please, take it and leave."

"Now just a minute Rosa…" but I didn't get to finish protesting when Jane turned towards the door.

"Thanks Alice, but really, I'm not hungry at all. I'll see ya 'round." She left before I had a chance to stop her.

"Think he will notice the scent?" Emmett asked keeping his gaze on me.

"I thought we were in agreement with Jasper that we weren't going to step in!" Rosalie hissed.

"I have had just about enough…"

"Edward, how's it going? Girls still drooling?" Emmett cut into mine and Rosalie's fight.

"Not so much anymore. What's going on?" He looked at Rose then quickly turned his attention to me.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts… "Nothing, going to check out the library. Come Jasper, your not interested in eating anyway." I grabbed his hand and quickly left before I could hear my brother scorn and question me for blocking him, even though he shouldn't be trying anyway.

"Think Rose and Emmett will tell him?" Jasper asked wrapping his arm around me.

"No. They are too scared of how he will react in public. They'll think of something that will make him want to stay out of their thoughts." I laughed thinking about what I said. Just what Edward wouldn't want to see, Rosalie and Emmett on the many honeymoon's they have taken together. Then my mind came back to reality. "What do you honestly think, Jazz?" His opinion mattered to me just as much as Carlisle and Esme.

He thought before answering. "He already considers himself a tortured soul, so this will just be another lash out against him." I started to interfere but he put his finger to lips to quiet me. "We know he isn't and you see this as a second chance for him. You see this as a way for him to redeem himself of the mistake he made twenty years ago. But Alice, this isn't Bella? What if she doesn't respond to - us - the way that Bella did? What will happen?"

I hadn't thought about that. The thought of Jane rejecting vampires never crossed my mind. I was so concerned with Edward rejecting her too fast and not giving love another go. What if there was nothing to go at? I knew that Edward would never force himself on someone that didn't want him. He would not use his power of persuasion just to make someone like or love him. He was too much of a gentleman. He might read her mind to see what she was thinking, but he wouldn't use it to his advantage against her.

Jasper walked me to my next class and kissed me bye. I went in and took a seat over by the window. I was lost in my own world thinking about my discussion with Jasper, when I heard a familiar cough next to me. I looked and there stood Edward. Great! We have English together.

"Nice to see you too, sis." He took a chair next to me. "You were in a hurry to leave lunch today. Didn't like what they were serving?"

"Not particularly. Everything seemed too, dead. I like mine kicking." I gazed over at him and he actually had a smirk on his face. I made him smile. "Wow, haven't seen that in a while. Sometimes I wonder if you even have teeth left."

"Ha, ha." We watched some of the other students come in the room. There was one girl that walked in with black curly hair and green eyes, and I heard Edward growl.

"Is that your stomach, or are you practicing for the Cowardly Lion?" I saw the girl waive frantically at him and he politely waived back. "If you wouldn't encourage her, it would be better."

"I'm just trying to be friendly." he hissed back at me. We were both talking low and fast so no one could understand us. Luckily for him, she had an assigned seat on the opposite side of the room.

"I'm having a vision, Edward." He turned to me with stunned look on his face. "I see a dark, curly haired girl with green eyes making advances towards you and by tomorrow she will have moved her chair closer to yours in an attempt to flatter you." I smiled wickedly.

"You're not funny Alice."

Play time was over as the teacher came in and started her lecture. They were in the middle of _Ivanhoe _and there was to be a test on it next month. Edward and I have read the book so many times we could recite it from memory. When class was over, Edward had left so fast that I didn't even see him leave. Then I saw why. He must have been reading her mind. I was left staring at the girl he was so desperate to avoid.

"Where did your bother go?" she asked looking around dumb founded. "I was going to see if he needed any help. _Ivanhoe can be difficult to understand especially in the beginning and, well, I help tutor my best friend and she is making A's in English, not to brag. I'm Mackenzie Cox, by the way." She extended her hand towards me and I just smiled._

"_Alice. My brother needed to hurry and make to his next class, but I will be sure to pass on your offer of tutoring him. That is very kind of you. I'm sure he will be, flattered" _

"_Well, I'm a very kind person. I have art class next, what about you."_

_I didn't like this girl. "Sorry, Math." _

"_Oh, see you tomorrow, Ali." When she turned to walk away, I thought about grabbing her from behind and sucking all her pathetic blood out. No one called me Ali. _

_During the last period all I could do was think about my vision. Why was Edward running? He seemed fine so far. Maybe something had happened that caused the vision to change course. I couldn't rest until we were safe back home. Maybe he was running to get away from Mackenzie Cox? I couldn't help but laugh out loud and that brought more raised eyebrows my way than normal for today. _

_As the last bell sounded, I jumped up and skipped towards the Hummer, where Jasper and Emmett were already standing. I slowly walked by the blue Honda and felt something pass me. Edward. He was running so fast that I could barley make out who or what he was. I ran up to where the others were and stared after him. Rosalie had joined us by then and glared at me._

"_This is all your fault! If you would have just been honest with us from the beginning, then none of this would have happened! I tried to tell you it wasn't healthy…"_

"_Calm down Rose." Emmett was looking down the road to where Edward had disappeared. "Lets go home and quickly try to handle this the best way can. We need to call Esme and Carlisle and let them know what's going on." he jumped behind the wheel. Rosalie was still glaring at me when Emmett yelled at her to get in._

_I looked over towards the blue Honda, and there was Jane. She had the same expression she had in my vision. I couldn't help but to feel sorry for her. Edward was as much her fate as she was to his. Sometimes, you can't make a person see life through someone else eyes._

"_It's going to be okay." Jasper whispered in my ear and he appeared to be helping in the Hummer. As soon as our doors were shut, we took off._


	3. Chapter 3 Misery Likes Company

CHAPTER 3

Misery Likes Company

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with Twilight belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

As I hurried to my next class, Alice's vision from this morning replayed in my head. Why was I running? It was obvious, at lunch, that they knew something more than what they were telling me. Alice kept me from reading her mind by repeating the words, "happy thoughts" over and over again. When I went to read Rosalie and Emmett's mind, I wish I hadn't; they were both reminiscing an intimate moment. School was almost over, so whatever they were hiding I was going to find out soon enough.

I walked into science class and handed my note to Mrs. Sims. I surveyed those sitting. It seemed like all the excitement over us new kids had already worn off. Mrs. Sims smiled, like they all did, and pointed me to an empty chair in the back of the second row.

Class began and they were on the topic of astrology. I sat there taking down notes and listening as always. I quickly glanced up when I heard the door open, and watched as a very nervous girl walked in. _Is she trying to skip into class? How amusing, _I thought. I went to take a peak into her mind to find a reasoning behind her action. To my surprise, there was nothing there to read. I glanced around the room. Everyone's thoughts were unrestricted, except for her.

"Nice of you to join us today, Ms. Watson." Mrs. Sims addressed her curtly. "You will still be marked as absent."

"Yes ma'am."

She walked in my direction to the empty chair in front of me. When she sat down, something powerful hit me that I had only felt one time before, twenty years ago. I stared at the back of her light brown hair while memories attacked me from all sides. _Not again! This can't be happening to me again, _my thoughts screamed inside my head.When she turned around, I was motionless. I didn't dare breathe, swallow, blink . . . taste. We sat there engrossed in each others stare.

"Ms. Watson! Would you and Mr. Cullen care to share your conversation with the whole class?" I quickly turned my attention back to Mrs. Sims. I tensed as my torturer turned in her desk, pounding me with her aroma.

"Um…" The back of her neck started turning a light shad of pink. Her heartbeat quickened, making it harder for me to control my thoughts and emotions.

"Ms. Watson, I wonder what your father will say when I tell him about your disruptions today? You interrupted me by being late, you distract other students by talking in my class." Mrs. Sims had no intentions of stopping. She was taking pleasure in humiliating this girl.

"Please, Mrs. Sims, it was my fault. She turned to welcome me to North Pole High and, well, I couldn't stop talking. I apologize for being so rude." I saw no sense in both of us having to be punished.

The teacher stopped her badgering and smiled. "That's quite alright. We want your first day at our school to be as pleasant as possible. That was very kind of Ms. Watson and I'm sorry for being so abrasive." She turned around and continued her lecture.

I didn't hear another word of the lecture. I glared at the girl sitting in front of me controlling the burning desire to sink my teeth in the very exposed, pale, lovely neck of Ms. Watson. My teeth ached and my throat burned from her scent. I closed my eyes and inhaled. The pain was almost more than I could bare. I couldn't explain it, and at that time, I didn't care. I was in another time and another place, facing the demons that I had created. I quickly opened my eyes to see if maybe, for some strange reason, I had imagined things, but the girl was still there and her aroma was still intoxicating. _I've got to go_, I panicked. _It's been so long, I don't know if I have enough strength . . . _

As soon as the bell rang, I was out the door. At that point and time, I didn't care who may have seen me; I ran. I had to leave before I did something I would regret. I raced by my family, not stopping as Emmett called after me. It was then that I understood Alice's vision. She had told me she didn't know why I was running, but from the way they had been acting it was apparent that they all knew. 

As I approached my home, I thought of how to explain to Esme why we had to pack and move; or at least I did. I read her mind as I got closer to the house and found that she already knew about what happened. The others had called and warned her of my state of mind. She stood waiting at the bottom of the stairs as I slammed through the front door.

"Edward, wait for the others, please. Let's not make any drastic decisions here." she pleaded.

" 'Drastic decisions' were made when my brothers and sisters didn't tell me what I was in store for. I don't think you want me around when they get here." I didn't mean to growl at her, but my temper had got the best of me. I had had a hard time with controlling my emotions for the past twenty years. My mood swings were a bit unpleasant at times; my family never knew what kind of temperament to expect. The smallest things could set me off.

"Edward, calm down. We can't talk to you when you get like this."

"Like what? Scared that I could have just sucked the life out of an innocent young girl? Angry because my siblings were curious to see my reaction to a scent I haven't smelled in twenty years? To see me in so much pain, because my memories wont quit replaying my mistakes and regrets over, and over, and over…" I fell to the floor exhausted. Not physically, that's not possible for a vampire, but mentally and emotionally I was battered beyond repair. I never spoke to anyone about what had happened between me and....

Bella. Even though I thought about her every day, I still hadn't said her name out loud. No one had.

The door opened behind me and I heard my family enter the room. I must have looked like a wreck; on my knees on the foyer floor. Esme was kneeling next to me with her arm placed lovingly around my shoulders.

"Edward, I'm so sorry." Alice lightly put her hand on my shoulder. I jerked away from her touch.

"I trusted you when you said you didn't know." I wouldn't, couldn't look at her.

"I told you I didn't understand my vision this morning, and at the time I didn't."

"When, dear sister," I spat with venom, "did you have your epiphany?"

"She was in my 2nd period class." She had known at break, and hadn't said a word. "I caught her scent, freesias," I shuddered, "and then her eyes, those brown eyes made my wheels start turning." Yes, I had noticed that also. "It wasn't until after you walked away during break that I knew if you got close enough to her that you would catch it, too."

"That's what all of you were hiding at lunch. Bravo." I said as I rose to my feet to shake their hands and give them a well deserved pat on the back. "Bravo to you all! She sat down in front of me during last period. Her hair was up and she was sweating. The teacher yelled at her which made her heart beat faster and her skin blush. When she stared at me, it took every inch of strength I had not to _kill _her!"

"Edward! Please, calm down." Esme begged me, but I had snapped from the pent up rage at myself, at my family, at this cruel life I had been given.

"Edward, we know you wouldn't do something like that." Alice cautiously backed away from me. "I was going to properly introduce you two at lunch but Rose ran her off."

I was astounded by her lack of understanding. _Is she being serious_? I asked myself. I read her thoughts and realized she was being sincere. I looked at all of them and realized they hadn't meant to hurt me at all. They hadn't agreed with Alice's plan, but their intentions, regardless of how dangerous, were good. They had much more faith in me than I had in myself; slowly my temper dwindled.

"I'm going to be alone now." I left them standing there; watching me walk up the stairs to my room so I could be alone with my thoughts. After today's drama, it was clear that I was going to have to eat and soon.

I closed my door and stared out my window. There were some similarities between Ms. Watson and Bella. The most obvious, to me, was the fact that I was unable to read her thoughts; to see into her mind. Then there was the physical: those beautiful brown eyes, the pale skin that blushed under scrutiny. Other than that, she was just like everyone else.

I compared her scent to Bella's, just as Alice had. But thinking back, there was a small difference. Bella's scent was a strong, floral scent. We always compared it to freesias because that was as close to a name as we could get. Ms. Watson's scent was more pungent. There was a trace of freesias but I had caught something else; a very clean, enticing aroma. I remembered years ago when I spoke with Jasper and Emmett about my attraction to Bella. Only Emmett could sympathize with what I was going through. He had told me he had come across two people that titillated his senses and that one had been stronger than the other. The memory made me fearful for Ms. Watson.

I heard Carlisle come home and I knew he was on his way to check on me. He must have received a report from Esme. "Come in Carlisle, door is open," I called out not waiting for him to knock.

"Checking to see if you would like to go hunt." _and to see if your room is still in one piece_, he thought but didn't say.

"Yes, thank you." I was more than ready and was pleased he hadn't invited anyone else in the family to join us. I didn't feel like being around Emmett trying to lighten my mood, or Jasper trying to diminish it. Carlisle understood me. After being with me for nearly 132 years, sometimes I got the feeling he could read my mind better than I could his.

We fed in the nearby mountains in Alaska where wildlife was plentiful. It was a clear, peaceful night. Afterwards we sat down and watched the stars.

"Would you like to talk about what happened today?" Carlisle asked. I was sure he remembered my panicked state of mind the last time we encountered this problem. That was the reason for the concern in his voice.

"What part about today should we discuss? Alice not telling me the truth about her vision? My brothers and sisters keeping a dirty little secret from me? Or about the girl that has signed her death certificate and doesn't know it?" Bitterness had made me a very sarcastic person.

Carlisle looked over at me and smiled. "I think we both know better than that."

"Why does everyone think that I am so strong?" It frustrated me that my family thought so highly of me. They were so sure I wouldn't lose control; yet I was so sure I could. "There is always that chance that I could slip. I wouldn't be the first of your kids to lose it." I knew it was wrong after I said it.

"Jasper still holds himself responsible you know. You have your memories and regrets to live with, and he has his. The only difference, his was caused by his nature, yours was your decision to make."

He was right. I had opened my mouth to argue and protest, but I knew he was right. _If only I could open a portal to the past and correct my life ending decision, _I thought. "It may have been a horrendous choice, but I think it was the best one for her."

"You didn't let her have a say in the matter, son. You didn't give any of us a choice."

"You didn't have to follow my request! You could have stayed if you wanted to. You could have called her on the phone, even _adopted _her if you wanted to!" The thought of her being like me, seeing the vision Alice had, started playing over again in my mind. I hadn't wanted that life for her. I couldn't damn her soul as mine had been damned. It wasn't right and I wasn't going to let it happen. It had came so very close with James. I hadn't realized I was snarling, digging my hands through the cold, hard ground until Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder.

"We stick together no matter how much we may disagree. You made a request and we followed." He turned his eyes and looked back out into the night. "I keep thinking if I would had tried harder, maybe I might have been able to have changed your mind. I can't stand to see you like this son. Broken, empty, angry, depressed."

"I'll leave. The rest of you shouldn't have to suffer because of me."

"Leaving is not an answer, Edward!" I looked in Carlisle's eyes and could see the frustration. "You have to stand and face your demons or you will never heal yourself. Do you think she would want you to live like this? I know she loved you and it would kill her to see you in such pain." _It's killing me to see you in so much pain._

"I don't know how not to feel the pain." I was defeated. Love and loss had ended me.

"Maybe Alice is right and this girl is a good thing." I looked at him in wonderment. "I believe in second chances, being able to start over. I think we were brought here for a reason and you were placed in her school for reason."

"What? To end her life before she has a chance to live it?" I asked, terrified at the thought.

"No," he said comfortingly, "to start living your life again."

I shook my head not sure if I would be able to ever enjoy life as I once had.

"Let's stay here until January." Carlisle continued. I quickly looked at him pleadingly. "You don't have to engage with anyone you don't want to. You do have to attend school; I can't live here and you not. If you want to become friends, fine. If you don't, fine. We won't force you to do anything you don't want to do except stay with us."

"Does this include Alice?" My sister had a tendency to follow her own rules.

"We shouldn't stop Alice if she wants to be friends with the girl. She was very upset when we left.…"

I dropped my eyes. I had already read his mind. They walked on eggshells around her name. "It's going to be difficult. I can't read her thoughts." I saw Carlisle's startled reaction.

"What else?"

"Her scent, but there is something different about it. It seems stronger, cleaner." I focused on one star that was shining brighter than the rest. Even though I had just hunted, I could still wanted her. My muscles tightened and my mouth watered at the thought of her neck. "I can control myself until January." I had to convince myself that I could. "I want to talk to Alice and make sure she understands that I'm not going to get involved with Ms. Watson. I'm not going to risk her life for _any _reason."

He seemed pleased with my decision. We stood and started back towards our home. "Anything else you wish to get out in the open?"

I took an unnecessary deep breath. "Thank you. You have always been there when I needed you. I just want you to know that I don't blame anyone but myself for the past twenty years. I know how hard it has been for everyone."

"We will always be here for you. Edward, you have got to let it go and move on some way. This is not the kind of life I had planned on you to live."

_There is no way I will ever be able to move on, _I thought but gave him a courteous smile. I knew he meant well; they all did. We returned to the house and everyone was sitting in the living room anxiously waiting for our arrival. One look at Carlisle and everyone relaxed.

"Edward and I have discussed what happened today. There will be no more secrets in this house. Edward has agreed to stay at least until January. If he decides to leave after that, we can choose whether to leave with him then, or wait until we feel ready to leave. You may choose your friends, but do not make living difficult for _anyone _in this family. Are there any protest or would anyone care to add a stipulation?" He looked around the room but no one said a word. "Good." He reached his hand out to Esme and they headed towards their living quarters.

"Alice, may I have a word with you in private?" I could tell that she wasn't happy with the outcome of our family meeting, but she knew better than to push Carlisle. She got up and followed me outside. The wind had picked up and the air around us was cold, but no colder than our skin. We walked away from the house so our conversation could not be heard. This was between me and Alice, no one else.

"I hope you understand my conditions." I turned and faced her. I could had easily read her mind but I was going to play nice.

"I understand that you want to remain absent from feeling life again." She looked at me without smiling; challenging me to debate her reasoning behind my choice.

"You think what you want to Alice," I replied cold and unconcerned, "as long as you obey the rules. You can be friends with that fiend as long as you leave me out of it. You can dress her, clothe her, pamper her, have all the slumber parties you want with her, just don't expect me to be charitable."

She didn't say a word, just kept looking at me with those amber eyes. I couldn't help myself; I had to know what she was thinking. _You are a fool. You didn't listen to me the last time and look where that got you. Twenty years of being tortured with only the memories of Bella. _As soon as she said her name, my composure vanished.

"I suppose I should have listened to you and damned her soul for eternity? Would that have made you happy? Does that sound sensible to you?" I lashed out.

She stood in front of me calm and relentless. "I don't consider my soul damned, Edward. We are good people and she would have been one too."

"We are not people; we are VAMPIRES!" I had to force myself to calm down. "There was no reason for her not to live her life as a normal human should. For most of us, our lives were already over when we were transformed. I could not do that to her. I would always have wondered if somehow I had persuaded her decision. I knew how much more life she had to live. Experiences that would be lost forever."

"She loved you."

"I loved her more. I couldn't be selfish and I know I did the right thing." I realized there was no sense in holding anything back. "I never told any of you about my last visit to Forks. After you called and told me that she needed help, I left South America that day. First thing that came to my mind was Victoria had gotten to her and I was frantic. I had been trying to track her by myself but lost her somehow. Anyway, I went to Bella's house expecting the worse. I saw her standing outside and she was in Jacob Black's arms." I could see that Alice was wanting to deny my statement, but there was no denying what I had seen. I had been heart broken to see how fast she was able to get over me, but at the same time I was happy for her. All that supernatural stuff wasn't good for her. It had almost gotten her killed more than once. She needed to be happy and free of psychotic vampires.

"Maybe you misinterpreted it. There could have been a good reason…"

"Alice, it's okay. I'm happy she moved on. That was why I left. I needed to see that so I wouldn't go running back into her life; begging her to take me back like I was going to do." None of my family had known about that either. Again, Alice gaped at me. "I had made up my mind that I couldn't live without her and I had been wrong to leave her. Apparently I was only half right."

"Oh, Edward. I didn't know. How could she?"

"Alice, don't you dare blame her. I left her no choice. It ended the way it should have. Her with her kind and me with mine. This is the price I pay for playing such a deadly game and I would rather me be the one to pay instead of her, or anyone else for that matter." I had hoped she would understand why I was so adamant about staying away from Ms. Watson.

"Okay, you win. I won't do anything to offend you. I'll keep my distance from her so there won't be any questions."

"Thank you." I gave her a hug to close the deal and we walked back to the house in silence. I reached out and read her mind one more time to make sure we were on the same page. _It's a shame. She is such a nice a girl, but I have to do it for Edward. But still, I know he would be happy if he would just try.…. I should had known the answer was going to be no._


	4. Chapter 4 Planets Collide

CHAPTER 4

Planets Collide

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Mornings aren't good for me -- I'm more of a night person. It takes a while for my body and mind to get moving. I slouched into the shower to wake up, and then threw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt. I ran downstairs, grabbed a cereal bar, and headed out the door. The cold air and cloudy skies reminded me that winter was coming on quick. It had taken some getting used to, but I'd finally adjusted to and learned to enjoy the cold weather.

I pulled into the school parking lot searching absentmindedly for the red Hummer. I wouldn't have blamed them if they'd talked their parents into sending them to another school. I would have tried that myself, when we first moved here, if I'd thought it would have made a difference. I swung out of my Honda without finding the red Hummer. _Mackenzie will be upset, _I thought to myself. I walked to my usual hangout and started where I had left off in _Ivanhoe_.

"Well, how do I look?" I glanced up as Mackenzie twirled in front of me showing off the outfit she had chosen to dazzle Apollo.

"Slutty." She was wearing a very short blue jean skirt, a silky, low-cut top that revealed her enormous breasts, and spiked heels. "Your legs must be freezing."

"You're just jealous because you can't look this good," Mackenzie pouted. Even if I wore a D cup instead of my small B, I wouldn't dress like that. For one thing, Mom and Dad would kill me if I did. "Have you seen him this morning?"

"Him, who?"

I turned and saw Tyson Bennett, the person Mackenzie should have been trying to impress. Tyson was cute with blond hair and green eyes. A little stubble textured his chin where he had been trying to grow a goatee.

"None of your business, Ty." Mackenzie sat down on the bench and refused to look at him.

"You look nice today," Tyson said as his eyes roved over Mackenzie's body. He was obviously admiring God's work more than her outfit.

"Ty, do you mind?" Mackenzie grumped. "I don't have time for this today."

"Oh, let me guess. It's one of the new guys, right?" Tyson looked over at me. I quickly dropped my eyes back down into _Ivanhoe_. "Good luck with that Mack. That's just what you need, a freak for a boyfriend."

"That is my decision to make now, isn't it?" Mackenzie said eyeing her nails. I started to wonder if she was just trying to manipulate Tyson into asking her to Homecoming.

"You sure make some lousy decisions," he fumed.

"Yeah, one was you."

Tyson stood back and crossed his arms. "Jane, tell her they are freaks. The word is that they are all going together. They're family! How sick is that?"

I didn't want to get involved in their conversation. It was easy to see that they would never agree and all I could do is side with one or the other. I decided to just speak the truth.

"Ty, I think they are nice. Just because they don't look like the rest of us, doesn't mean that they are freaks. They're just -- different. I like different. As far as the rumors go, I learned a long time ago not to believe everything I hear. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors."

Tyson scowled. "Great. You both can hang out with the freaks then. When they abduct you into their clan, don't come running and asking for my help."

"Like you could help anyway," Mackenzie yelled at Tyson's back as he walked off. She turned to me, "Do you think they are all going with each other?"

I shrugged, "I overheard in the hallway yesterday that they weren't all related to each other." I didn't mention what I'd noticed about their eyes. Mackenzie could come up with her own opinion.

"I wonder if they were adopted by parents who are into open relationships. You know, one of those strange groups of people who do all kinds of wild and crazy acts. Maybe their some kind of cult or something." I ignored Mackenzie's erotic fantasy and continued reading in my book. "Look, there they are," she hissed.

I turned expecting to see the red Hummer. Instead, I watched as a white BMW with dark tinted windows screeched to a halt. The family spilled out of the doors in a crowd. The entire family was there, and all the tension they'd appeared to have the last time I saw them was gone. I wondered what it had all been about.

"You think I should go up to him and introduce myself?"

I stood up and started gathering my books. "You mean, you haven't said anything to him yet?" She was in love and hadn't even spoken to the guy.

"I tried, but he was always a few feet ahead of me and I couldn't never catch up to him. Think I should wait until math class?" She stared at him unabashedly.

"I would. I would feel very awkward just walking up to someone and introducing myself out of the blue. At least in math class you have a reason to be in the same room." I shook my head at her absurdity and started towards my locker. When I didn't hear Mackenzie's spiked heels following behind me, I turned to see if she was coming or was just planning to stand there and stare at him. Instead, I saw something far worse -- she had ignored my advice and was walking straight towards him. _This is going to be embarrassing, _I thought. I stayed where I stood, curious to see their reaction to Mackenzie's boldness.

I watched him stop as she got closer. He looked frightened instead of transfixed by her looks. It was bizarre that he didn't act like every other hot blooded American male who'd seen her outfit. Most of them look like they've just won the lottery when they get a look at Mackenzie's free peep show, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect on him. He looked sick. He quickly composed himself and caught up with the rest of his family in three quick strides. Mackenzie broke into light run, waving her hands at the group, and they all stopped and stared. I watched her lips move as she offered her hand to the family, but no one took it. I could tell she was giving it everything she had. When I glanced to see the group's reaction, I realized that Apollo was watching me watch them. We both stood and stared at each other. His eyes were captivating; I felt like he was pulling me into some kind of a trance. I don't know how long I stood there, but I couldn't stop gazing at him until he turned and walked away. I blinked, felling dizzy, and saw Mackenzie walking back towards me with a scowl on her face. I froze for an instant, and then heard the bell ring for class

"I'll talk to you at break!" I yelled, and then ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

Even though I really needed to concentrate on Geometry, I couldn't help but wonder what had transpired during the conversation between Mackenzie and the Cullens. By the look on her face, she hadn't got the results that she had wanted. Maybe she would drop it and go back to chasing Tyson. He would have enjoyed seeing her run up to him the way she had Apollo.

All the blood, sweat, and tears I'd shed over my math homework had been in vain. I only got two out of ten problems right. _This class is going to kick my butt -- _I groaned and dropped my head into my arms. All I needed was one more math credit in order to graduate. I couldn't afford to flunk; I also couldn't afford to let my GPA slide. I had planned to apply in the summer for art scholarships at some of the regional Universities. But in order to get a scholarship, in order to even get into a college, I had to pass this class. I loved painting and was told I had a decent shot at it. Dad thought it was a waste of time and money, but Mom told me that it was okay to follow my dreams.

When purgatory let out, I hurried to history wondering if Alice was going to say something to me about my friend's infatuation with her brother. I walked in and dropped into my seat. I didn't have to wait too long before Alice entered. She was wearing jeans, a sequined silver camisole, and a black sweater. She was stunning. No doubt it -- if the voting went the way it should and Alice was still around our Senior year, she would win best dressed. I watched as she sat down next to me. She turned and gave me a smile which gleamed with some of the whitest teeth I had ever seen.

"Good morning, Jane. Did you sleep well?" I still couldn't get over that voice of hers. It sounded like it hadn't even come from her mouth.

"Yes, thank you, Alice. How did you sleep?"

She paused and grinned. "Very well, thank you."

I waited, but she didn't say anything. I didn't want to seem nosy, so I didn't ask about Apollo. And when class was over, Alice stood up before I could even put away my laptop.

"See you tomorrow," she said.

"Wait, didn't my friend ask you and your family if you all wanted to hang out between classes?" I blurted out. _She could have_, I argued with myself to justify the lie.

"Your friend?" Alice seemed confused.

"Mackenzie Cox. She spoke to you and your family this morning. I thought she was going to invite you all to hang out during break or at least maybe sit with us during lunch. You know, if you wanted to."

"Mackenzie Cox is _your _friend?" Alice said Mackenzie's name like it was poisonous.

I cringed. Maybe I should have kept my mouth closed. "Well, right now she's my only friend. I mean, I'm sort of new here myself and it can get lonely if you don't have four other siblings to hang out with."

"Yeah, I see that they aren't very welcoming to new faces." Alice seemed to lighten up some. "No, she didn't invite anyone but my brother." She eyed me to see if I knew what she was talking about.

"What exactly did she say?" I asked, although I was scared to find out.

"Oh, she just introduced herself and told him that she would be more than happy to show him around town and the Fairbanks area." We walked down the hallway together, continuing our conversation. "She also told him not to worry; that he didn't have to go to the Homecoming Dance alone. She told him that she would be more than willing to tutor him in English and catch him up on _Ivanhoe_." She stopped and looked at me, "Are you the friend she has helped make A's in English?"

I was flabbergasted. "Mackenzie? Help me make A's?" I blurted out. "No! If she offered to help him catch up on _Ivanhoe_, it wasn't to read it. Maybe rent a movie and make-out while it played." I heard the echo of my words and wondered if I should have lied for Mackenzie's sake.

Alice laughed, "I didn't think she was telling the truth."

"What did he say?" I knew he hadn't said anything. If he had, I never saw his lips move.

"His big sister spoke up for him -- thanked Mackenzie for offering but didn't think her help would be necessary. I think he was a little … preoccupied … this morning." Alice's tone caught my attention. I quickly looked over at her and saw that she was smiling. "I'll see you at lunch," she called in a sing-song voice. "Thanks for the invite," she said and skipped away.

Had she noticed her brother and me staring at each other this morning? I had thought it was all my imagination and told myself it was silly to think that he was really watching me. I had decided there was probably something going on behind me that distracted him. …

I was so lost in thought that I nearly ran into Mackenzie, who was waiting for me at my locker.

"What took you so long? I am in dire straits here!" she whined.

I opened my locker door and started changing out my books. "I was talking to Alice, trying to help you out." I stopped as I remembered what I had said to Alice about Mackenzie, and felt a little guilty about bad mouthing my friend. I pushed down on the feeling. "I told her that she and her family could join us for break or eat lunch with us sometime."

"Stay out of my business!" Mackenzie roared.

I turned and stared at her. "I was only trying to help. Sorry -- I won't do it again."

"If I needed help, I would ask. His family _is _my biggest problem." She leaned against the lockers and focused her eyes on the row across the hall. "I think they are all having sex together and I bet the girls are Dominatrices."

I closed my locker, agitated at her imagination. "Just because you were rejected doesn't give you the right to talk about someone like that. I happen to like Alice and think that she is a sweet person."

"Then she can be your only friend," Mackenzie yelled and stormed off.

"Great," I mumbled. Mackenzie wasn't the best friend in the world but she had been a warm body to do things with.

Going into lunch, I wasn't sure what to expect. I grabbed my usual meal and glanced towards the Cullen table. I didn't stop and stare this time -- just glanced to see if they were all there. They were. I continued towards my table where Mackenzie was and sat down.

"Am I forgiv--?"

"Well, I've lost what appetite I had left," Mackenzie said without looking at me. She stood up, threw her nose up in the air and walked off. Guess that answered my question. I sat alone, picking at my peanut butter sandwich.

"I hope we're not sitting in someone else's seat," Alice's voice chimed in.

I looked up, startled. I hadn't heard anyone sit down -- but there Alice and her blond brother were sitting, across from me. I didn't know how long they had been there.

"Um, no. Mack left. She won't be back." I looked towards the guy and he just sat there with no expression on his face except one of intrigue.

"Jane, I would like you to meet Jasper Hale. Jasper, this is Jane Watson -- my new friend." Jasper nodded his head acknowledging me and I returned it with a smile.

"Hi, Jasper. Your last name isn't Cullen? Does that mean that you aren't related?"

"Rosalie and I are twins. We were both adopted when we were younger by Dr. Cullen and his wife." I listened to him speak and he spoke a little more slowly than the others -- as if he was unsure of which words he should say.

"Strange. Well, if it works for pets why not people." They both looked at me with their heads cocked to one side, confusion written on their faces. "They say that if you are around your pet long enough you start to look like each other," I explained. "Except for your different builds and hair colors, you all look blood related to me. I've never seen eyes quite the color that you all have."

Alice and Jasper stared at me in silence. I started to feel like I had crossed the line with my comments until Alice started laughing. "We all have the same color contacts," she explained. "It was something we were able to talk Dad into. Makes us feel more complete as a family, you know?"

"That makes sense." I smiled back. I noticed her eyes kept darting over to the table behind me, where the rest of her family still sat. "You guys don't have to sit with me if you don't want to," I gestured apologetically. "If you would rather sit with your family, I understand. I guess they don't like me much, do they?"

"I have a right to choose my friends. Don't worry about it -- I'm capable of handling them."

"It's not that they don't…like you," Jasper whispered softly, as if his siblings could hear us all the way across the noisy cafeteria. "We've had some… problems in the past … problems making new … friends. We just don't like anyone getting hurt, so we keep our distance. Plus, we never know when we might have to…pick up and move..." His eyes darted in the Cullens' direction. He acted as if his family could hear what he was saying from all the way on the other side of the room. I had a feeling, somehow, that they were trying to hide secrets.

"I think I understand," I whispered back to Jasper. "You guys didn't move here by choice, then? Was it because of some problems that you encountered where you used to live?"

A female voice dripped down from above my head.

"No, our Dad got a new job. There were no 'problems' where we resided before." I turned to see Rosalie standing right behind me with her arms crossed, glaring at Alice and Jasper. "Alice, Edward wants to walk with you to English. I suggest that you don't keep him waiting. Jasper, you can accompany me to my next class." Then her eyes flickered my way. "You don't understand a thing, and I suggest that you don't try." Her eyes were like fire looking into mine. I felt dazed and confused, like I was being hypnotized.

"Rose, come on, leave her alone." Jasper took his sister by the arm and walked her away from the table. I sat there, dazed, as a tremor shook my body. Was she threatening me? How could she have heard my and Jasper's conversation? How did she get here so quick? I looked over at Alice, who had a concerned look on her face.

"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," she laughed.

"I'm fine. Your sister doesn't play around, does she?" I got up from the table and walked with Alice to the exit.

"I guess she is overprotective of us. That can be very annoying at times."

I dumped my tray off and wondered why her sister would feel like I was any sort of threat. Maybe it wasn't _me _that she felt threatened by, but the thought of her siblings spilling the beans about their past. That was something I could relate to. I realized that I was even more curious about them now than I had been before.

Alice and I walked out together and I saw Apollo leaning against the school building, waiting for Alice. His head was bowed with his eyes closed. I wished I had a canvas in front of me to paint him_. _

"Is his name Edward? Mackenzie and I have been calling him Apollo." I felt stupid the minute I said it. Alice started laughing as Edward pushed furiously away from the wall and starting pacing back and forth in front of us.

"I'll make sure not to let him know," Alice reassured me. "It might go to his head. I'll see you later Jane." Alice skipped off towards him. I watched as she approached him and he stopped pacing. The look on his face chilled me, and I realized that Edward felt the same as Rosalie when it came to the family. I thought about stepping in and helping Alice, but she seemed to be unafraid. She stood there and smiled, which seemed to make him even angrier. I couldn't stay and watch anymore; I hurried to my next class.

I wasn't looking forward to seeing Edward in science class. I walked in the room and there he sat. He was reading his text book but didn't seem as angry as when I had seen him last. I stepped lightly, hoping to pass by him unnoticed. As I started down the aisle, I tripped on Alison Lowery's book bag and tumbled to the floor.

"Watch where you're going, Watson!" Alison jerked her bag from under my feet and peered inside to see if I had damaged anything.

"Sorry." I got up, refusing to look and see if he was watching me. I could feel my face blush as I hurriedly picked myself up and sat down. Fortunately, Mrs. Sims waltzed in and started class before I was forced to look and see if Edward had noticed.

"Today we are going to start something new," she sang cheerily. "I am going to group you in pairs and assign each group a planet to study. Next week, the groups will begin teaching each other the planets you've researched. Part of the assignment will be coming up with ten questions to put on a test involving your planet, and I will use your questions to make up the unit test. Your presentations will start Monday. For the rest of this week, I will teach about planet Earth, the sun and the moon. Each of you will participate in the assignment. It will be a fifty-fifty partnership."

Mrs. Sims walked swiftly between the desks, dividing us by our seating arrangement. That meant.…

"Ms. Watson and Mr. Cullen, you have the planet Venus."

I struggled not to moan out loud.

When she finished assigning groups, Mrs. Sims began her lecture on the sun. She finished early so we could converse with our partners about our project.

I turned and looked at the frown on Edward's face. He seemed even less enthused than I was about our partnership.

"I should thank you for yesterday. Covering for me, even though you didn't have to," I began hesitantly.

"No thanks necessary."

"Um, I guess we could meet at the library and work on our project. Is Saturday good for you?"

"That won't do." He shook his head, "I'm going to be out of town during the weekend. I'll just do the assignment and turn it in for both of us. Don't worry about it."

"You heard what she said," I argued. "This is a fifty-fifty partnership. I can't let you do all the work." He finally raised his eyes to me. "I only know a little about Venus. I think it will be interesting to learn more."

"And what do you know already, beside that it's a planet?" A smirk came across his face.

"I know it is close to the Earth in size. It's second closest to the sun. It was named after the Roman goddess Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. They named it after her because it's the brightest planet."

This time when he spoke, his voice didn't match his godlike appearance. "That isn't the only reason they named it after her," he growled softly. "The surface is hot and dry; the planet's upper clouds are poisonous sulfuric acid. That is how it can be compared to the goddess of love -- the brightness blinds you, the surface burns you, the air chokes and kills you." I was speechless as I gazed into his amber eyes.

"That's happened to you?" I whispered. "Someone hurt you …"

"I will do the project alone," he stopped me abruptly. "Mrs. Sims will never know." He turned his eyes from me and rose to end the discussion.

"I can't take that chance, Edward." I jumped up and raised my hands blocking his exit. At my touch, he immediately tensed up and backed away as if I had pointed a gun at him. "Look, I have to make sure that I keep my grades up," I insisted. "I'm not doing so good in math right now and I need all the help I can get in my other classes. I can't take the chance of her finding out I didn't do anything. She would love to find any reason to give me an F. My parents would freak out -- my GPA would slide."

"All right. Why don't you do it then, since you know so much about the planet of love and beauty?"

He was cruel. I had never done anything to him in my life, yet he lashed out at me as if I was the reason his world wasn't perfect. "Don't worry about it. I'll handle it. Thank you so much for your understanding and compassion." I grabbed my bag and pushed my way out the door. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I pushed through the mass of students to my locker. It had been a terrible day; every day had been terrible. Mackenzie hated me, I was going to fail math and science, the Cullens all clearly wished I was dead. … I went to my locker and pressed my forehead against the cold metal. The only solution was to do the project by myself and just pretend that Edward helped. Maybe I could get away with it.

"I'm sorry," his voice said softly.

I spun around to face him --my untied shoelace caught on my shoe and I fell face first to the floor; bracing myself for an impact that never came. I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist; he easily put me back in a standing position.

"You shouldn't walk, or evidently stand, with your shoes untied." Edward grinned and knelt down to tie my shoe. "Is that too tight?"

"No. Thank you." When he stood up, our faces were only inches apart. I was once again reminded of how perfect he looked. I had used the word dreamy to describe him, but standing so close to him showed me that the word wasn't even close to a reasonable comparison. There was something in his eyes that pulled me in. It was more than just his beauty that made me light headed, breathless and dumb founded. I gasped silently.

Suddenly, he backed away.

"I shouldn't have been so callous earlier, I'm sorry," he said carefully. "I can change my plans and leave town some other weekend."

I shook my head. "I can arrange for my brother go over to his friend's house. We can get together and work on it either Wednesday or Thursday if that would be better for you."

"No, Saturday will be fine. Don't go to any trouble on my account. I know where the library is and I will meet you there. How about ten?"

"So early? I'm not a morning person," I explained.

"How about after lunch, then? Around one?"

"That's better, thank you."

"Fine." Then he took a deep breath and just stared at me. "It'll be okay." I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but I nodded in agreement and watched him walk off. It was almost as if he had been talking to himself more than me. I felt pity and sorrow for him. Whoever hurt him in the past had left a terrible impression on him -- it seemed to make him so much older than his real years. I'd only seen that kind of hurt and pain once, when I was a small child.


	5. Chapter 5 Turbulence

**CHAPTER 5**

**Turbulence**

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV **

"Where are you going?" I growled at Alice, as she and Jasper rose from the table.

"She needs a friend," Alice explained. They quickly walked away and sat with Jane, leaving nothing to debate.

"What the hell is she doing?" I fought to control my voice; getting angry — again. We had agreed, as a family, to leave Jane alone because that was best for me; what was best for all of us. Apparently, Alice and Jasper changed their minds about being team players.

"I'm going to smack some sense into both of them," Rosalie's voice rang with authority, entirely on my side. She was the only one who tried to warn me the last time I acted irrationally.

"Listen you two," Emmett said as he leaned forward at the table, "Carlisle said we could be friends with whomever we wanted as long as we respected each other."

"Emmett, are they respecting Edward, by going over there and playing nice with the enemy?"

"Rose, she isn't an enemy. Just because Edward is attracted to her, doesn't mean Jane is evil. She doesn't know the power she has over him. I think we need to leave Alice and Jasper alone. They have no intention of forcing us to befriend her."

"She is just as inquisitive as Bel…" My brother and sister stared at me — waiting for me to snap. Jane questioned Alice about the color of our eyes. It was easy to hear them speak from across the room. It was maddening not being able to read Jane's mind. Jasper was trying to explain to Jane why the rest of us were not as friendly as he and Alice. He was whispering, trying to conceal their conversation, but it's impossible to hide from a vampire.

"I think I understand —" Jane barely got the words out of her mouth, when we immediately rose from our table.

"I'll wait for Alice outside," I said to Rosalie who started walking across the room towards Jane's table. Emmett followed me outside.

"Edward, take it easy on Alice. Don't be too harsh."

"I'm just going to explain our verbal agreement to her again. It's clear she is having difficulty understanding English, so I'll explain it to her in French, then Latin, and maybe Japanese."

"Thanks for agreeing to go easy on her." Emmett shook his head and walked over to Rosalie and Jasper who were coming outside.

Jasper warningly looked over towards me. He could feel my rage as I leaned against the wall, massaging my temples, trying to settle down. "It'll be all right," Emmett said to Jasper, as he and Rosalie pulled him towards the classrooms.

I sensed Jane as soon as she walked outside. I wasn't in control of myself, and fought the urge to look at her; one look could have a deadly outcome.

"Is his name Edward?" Jane whispered. "Mackenzie and I have been calling him Apollo."

_Dammit_! Furiously, I pushed away from the wall and started pacing. It was my curse that lured people our direction. Bella had used the word dazzle to describe my magnetism. If there was a way I could have turned my 'dazzling' mechanism off, I would have. Knowing I had this effect on people was disturbing.

Alice laughed at Jane's remark, made a joke about it, and swayed over to me leaving Jane standing alone.

"What do you think you're doing?" I stopped pacing and glared at Alice. "I thought you said you weren't going to do anything to offend me? What happened to 'I'll keep my distance from her'? She's curious about us, yet you keep enticing her. Do you want her to live? Do you care if she gets hurt?" I asked trying to keep my voice under control.

"Of course I care, Edward," Alice sang innocently, offering me a smile.

"Obviously you don't!" I fumed. "Alice, you are playing with fire, and we aren't the ones that usually get burnt. This has to stop, now! Do you understand?"

"Jane needs a friend and I happen to like her. She was nice to me on my first day, and I'm not going to abandon her. I made a promise to myself that I would never do that again. Do _you _understand?" I stared at her reading her thoughts, and quickly cut the link. "I thought you would see it my way," she said as a mischievous look danced in her eyes.

Alice had been prepared for me to read her mind. I saw how upset she had been when I demanded our family leave Forks and never contact Bella again. Alice had become close to her; like a sister. Our departure, and my request, ruined their relationship.

Alice was as stubborn as I was. She wasn't going to change her mind about Jane. I shook my head wearily, and softly kissed the back of her hand. "Do you realize how annoying you are?" I smiled at her. "I'm sorry. I know I'm dictating again, but I just don't see how this can turn out any differently than the last time."

"I do. I wish for once you would trust me."

"She noticed our eyes," I said as Alice and I walked towards our English class.

"Yes. She seems very much intrigued by our appearance."

"If you keep playing this game with her, more of our abilities are bound to show. Aren't you worried she will find out what we are?"

"I wish she would." I stopped and glared at the pixie next to me. "It's so much easier to be ourselves when they know," Alice explained.

"It's not healthy for her to know," I argued.

"Edward, it's not healthy for her not to know." Alice pulled me aside, away from the traffic of students going in and out of the classroom. "Whether she's around us or not, there are still dangers that can be lurking around the corner for her. One day she could run into another of our kind that that's not a vegetarian. At least knowing us gives her an advantage."

"Didn't give Bella an advantage." It was still painful to say her name; even more painful to remember. "Didn't keep her from almost being killed by James. He would have never come in contact with her if it hadn't been for me."

Alice lightly touched my face, not knowing what the students passing by thought of her open display of affection. "Edward, if it hadn't been for you, Bella would have died before she ever met James." She silenced me when I opened my mouth to disagree. "I'm talking about the van accident; the Port Angeles incident. Edward, because she _knew _you, she was able to live and to live a life she never thought possible. Those things you can't blame yourself for."

Alice was right. Though I had tried to find some way to make myself responsible for every bad thing that happened to her, Bella seemed to attract danger. She had attracted me.

"Be friends with Jane if you want, but I still don't think it's a wise decision. However, I won't fight you on it anymore." Alice smiled at me, winning our argument once again.

We walked into the classroom, and Mackenzie was seated closer towards my seat. _Seems like the vision I had of Mackenzie yesterday is coming true, _I groaned as Alice nonverbally communicated with me. _She has moved closer to you, and by that hideous outfit she is wearing, she's trying desperately to flatter you. _Alice sat with a sly grin.

"I thought Rosalie made it clear to her that I wasn't interested," I whispered to Alice, speaking low so no one else could hear.

_Apparently, this vixen doesn't take subtle hints. You're going to have to get ugly with her. Did you know that she and Jane were friends? _I gave a light nod.

Earlier that morning, Jane had been standing outside, watching Mackenzie talk to my family. By the way Mackenzie treated Jane at lunch it was clear that something had transpired between the two of them. I decided to take a chance and read Mackenzie's thoughts to understand her curtness towards Jane.

_He won't even look at me! I guess I will wear my leather mini tomorrow, since he obviously is into leather. _

I gagged, seeing the outfit Mackenzie was planning to wear tomorrow. It was even more ridiculous than what she had worn today. Alice quickly looked over at me, concerned by my action. She hadn't seen or heard what I had. I shook my head to let her know I was okay.

When class ended, once again I hurried out of the room to escape Mackenzie's approach. Alice was right; I was going to have to hurt her feelings in order for her to see I wasn't interested. I laughed at myself; _I'm a vicious killer running away from a little girl who only wants_… I had to quit thinking before I got sick again.

Jane hadn't made it to science class by the time I sat down. I smiled. wondering if she was going to try that nonsensical action of sneaking into class. My textbook was laid open on my desk and I pretended to read the pages. When Jane walked in, I didn't have to look up to know she was there; her untainted scent was overpowering. Once again, I had to control my vampire tendencies.

Hesitantly, she started moving towards her desk. I clenched the sides of my seat waiting for her arrival, but it never came. She gasped as she fell down the aisle and hit the floor, her face immediately blushing.

"Watch where you're going, Watson," the blond girl yelled at her. She jerked her book bag from off the floor, digging inside to make sure nothing was broken. My anger flared, but I was able to control it.

"Sorry," Jane called back as she got to her feet and quickly sat down in front of me. After her fall, her heartbeat was stronger making her scent that much more intoxicating. It made it much more difficult only being near her for an hour. _Maybe if I hung around her more, then my desire wouldn't be as_… I paled at my thoughts. I couldn't take the chance of hanging around her — I couldn't risk her life.

"Today we are going to start something new," Mrs. Sims voice interrupted the battle I was having within myself. I relaxed as Jane's heartbeat slowed down. Mrs. Sims chatted away about a project she was going to assign us. She walked around the room, dividing us up according to our seating arrangement. As she got closer to where Jane and I were seated, Jane stiffened.

"Ms. Watson and Mr. Cullen," Mrs. Sims said handing a folder to Jane, "you have the planet, Venus."

Mrs. Sims concluded her lecture on the sun, leaving ample time for us to discuss our projects with our newly assigned partner. Jane slowly turned around in her seat, hesitant to talk.

"I should thank you for yesterday. Covering for me, even though you didn't have to."

"No thanks necessary." I averted her brown eyes, wanting to keep the conversation at a minimal.

"Um, I guess we could meet at the library and work on our project. Is Saturday good for you?"

"That won't do. I'm going to be out of town during the weekend. I'll just do the assignment and turn it in for the both of us. Don't worry about it."

"You heard what she said," Jane argued. "This is a fifty-fifty partnership. I can't let you do all the work." I raised my eyes to meet hers. She smiled and shrugged, "I only know a little about Venus. I think it will be interesting to learn more."

"And what do you know already, beside it's a planet?"

She took a deep breath before speaking and boldly looked into my eyes. "I know it is close to the Earth in size. It's second closest to the sun. It was named after the Roman goddess, Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. They named it after her because it's the brightest planet."

She had spoken of the goddess, Venus, as if she was a believer. Bitterness poured out of my mouth like a rushing river. "That isn't the only reason they named it after her. The surface is hot and dry; the planet's upper clouds are poisonous sulfuric acid . That is how it can be compared to the goddess of love -- the brightness blinds you, the surface burns you, the air chokes and kills you."

Jane's luminous brown eyes stayed fixed on me.

"That's what happened to you," she whispered. "Someone hurt you…"

"I will do the project alone. Mrs. Sims will never know." It was undeniable that I couldn't be alone around Jane. The risk was too great as were the feelings I had for her. I had the desire to do more than savor her blood. I stood to leave as fear coursed through my body.

"I can't take that chance, Edward." Jane jumped up and raised her hands, preventing my escape. I immediately tensed and backed away from her. She had no idea the danger she was in. I could have removed her at once, but I would have injured her in the process. "Look, I have to make sure that I keep my grades up. I'm not doing so good in math, and I need all the help I can get in my other classes. I can't take the chance of her finding out I didn't do anything. She would love to find any reason to give me an F. My parents would freak out — my GPA would decrease."

"All right," I growled. "Why don't you do it then, since you know so much about the planet of love and beauty?" I was angry at her for making me feel this way again. She wanted to argue with me even though I knew what was best for the both of us; what was best for all parties involved. As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I regretted it. My voice had been heavy with sarcasm. She wore a hurt expression on her face, and water gathered in the corner of her.

"Don't worry about it. I'll handle it. Thank you so much for your understanding and compassion." Jane swallowed hard, squared her shoulder, and moved away.

Immediately I felt like the monster I had always claimed to be. I hadn't meant to hurt her, but hurting her feelings was better than taking her life. However, I knew that if I didn't agree to do the project then it would count against her grade. She appeared to be struggling with school and I wasn't alleviating her complications. There was no other choice.

I followed her aroma and found her standing in front of her locker; her light brown hair tumbled carelessly down her back. For a moment in time, I forgot why I was trying so hard to stay away.

"I'm sorry." She whirled around too fast and started falling face first to the ground. Quickly, I grabbed her by the waist, and gently set her back on her feet. "You shouldn't walk, or evidently stand, with your shoes untied." I smiled and bent down to tie her shoelace. "Is that too tight?"

"No. Thank you."

We stood only inches apart. It was difficult to know who was enchanting whom. I took a cautious step back before I had a chance to do something I would possibly regret; blood wasn't on my mind.

"I shouldn't have been so callous earlier, I'm sorry. I can change my plans and leave town some other weekend." I had all the time in the world to feed. It was evident I would have to eat well before meeting with her. At least meeting in a public place improved her chances.

"I can arrange for my brother go over to his friend's house. We can get together and work on it either Wednesday or Thursday if that would be better for you."

"No, Saturday will be fine. Don't go to any trouble on my account. I know where the library is and I will meet you there. How about ten?"

"So early?" I smiled curiously at her worried expression. "I'm not a morning person."

_Ah_, "How about after lunch, then? Around one?" It was aggravating not being able to tell what she was thinking. A clear disadvantage on my part.

"That's better, thank you."

"Fine." I stared at her. She was beautiful. There was both a softness and strength in her face. The tip of her nose was light pink where she had been sniffling, trying not to cry. "It'll be okay." I assured myself _and _her that everything was going to be fine — that she was in no danger. She nodded as if understanding my statement. Abruptly, I left before I thought too much about my decision and changed my mind.

My family waited for me by the car.

"Everything okay?" Alice asked jumping into the back seat.

"Why do I feel like you already know the answer to that question?" I slipped behind the wheel of the BMW, and threw Alice a quick glance. She only smiled as the rest of our family caught our little joke.

"What's going on?" Rosalie glared from me, to Alice, and back to me. "Please do not tell me you are that stupid?"

"I wouldn't call me stupid, just that weak." Rosalie's angry growl showed her frustration. "Rose, I have no other options. Our science teacher assigned us to be partners on a project. I made sure to meet with her in public and I will eat before I go. Nothing more, nothing less." I tried to assure myself more than her.

"Did you know this was coming?" This time her anger was directed towards Alice.

"I saw the partnership, yes. To my defense," Alice quickly continued, "I chose not to share it with any of you because I have been told, time and time again, to mind my own business. Besides, I figured if I said anything you all might come up with a plan to change what should be."

"How noble of you," Rosalie said with distaste and glared back out the window.

"Edward will be okay," Emmett reassured his wife. "He and I will leave Friday and head to the forest."

"Thank you, Emmett," I replied gratefully.

"Alice, will Edward make it through Saturday, or does Jane die?" Rosalie didn't make eye contact with any of us. Emmett gave his wife a disapproving sigh.

"They make it. In fact, both come away with a better understanding and respect for Venus." I glanced at Alice in the rearview mirror while the others turned and stared at her. She rolled her eyes, "That's the planet they're studying, of course." I started to read her mind, but she beat me to it. _Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation…_


	6. Chapter 6 False Hope

**CHAPTER 6**

**False Hope**

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Wednesday, I sat in front of the school waiting for the bell to sound for first period. I gazed in horror at the sight of Mackenzie across the parking lot. She stood by her car wearing a leather mini skirt, a black lace top, and spiked high heels. She had conveniently parked her car next to the space the Cullens had occupied since the first of the week.

She didn't have to wait very long for the white BMW to pull into its usual space. At first, no one got out of the car. Slowly, one by one, they emerged from the vehicle. The bigger guy, Emmett, got out of the back seat and opened the passenger door for Rosalie. Jasper and Alice eloquently rose from the back seat on the driver's side. The driver's door opened last, revealing the fifth Cullen sibling — Edward. They were all laughing, appearing to be in high spirits. When Edward smiled, he could make any woman melt. It was understandable why Mackenzie was desperately trying to get his attention. However, his smile faded as Mackenzie started slithering towards them.

I watched, as I had yesterday, to see if Edward would take the bait. The rest of his family continued walking towards the school leaving Edward alone with Mackenzie. Mackenzie's mouth steadily moved. She pretended to drop her keys and bent down to show her cleavage, then slowly erected herself finishing her performance off with a Cheshire Cat grin. Edward glanced my way and smiled. I thought he winked at me, but maybe I just blinked. He averted his attention back to Mackenzie and spoke to her. Whatever he said made her smile vanish. Edward finished speaking and left Mackenzie standing alone in the parking lot. A sense of self-satisfaction swept over me; he wasn't interested in Mackenzie. I smiled to myself and headed towards my locker.

Alice was quiet during history class. She must not have known what had transpired between Mackenzie and Edward. When class was over, she told me she was see me at lunch in her usual bubbly voice.

Mackenzie was waiting on me outside in front of the school for break.

"Did you decide to change on your own, or did the school make you?" I asked sitting down next to her. Her leather outfit had been replaced by a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"He's gay," Mackenzie pouted.

"What_?" No, no, no, no, no. Please tell me that isn't so, _I pleaded in my head. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it, but it would have explained Edward's lack of interest in Mackenzie.

"That has to be it. Did you know he didn't even look at my breasts? His eyes never wandered down," Mackenzie complained and pointed to her enormous chest.

"Edward didn't tell you he was gay?"

"They never tell you they're gay, Jane." Mackenzie rolled her eyes at my ignorance. She considered me naïve to the ways of the world.

"What _did _he say?" I asked ignoring her brusqueness.

She glanced at me, gave a sly smile, and tossed her black curls behind her shoulders. "He said he would think about taking me up on my offer to show him around. He was flattered I invited him to the Homecoming dance and he will let me know if he's going to be in town."

"Oh." Edward just wanted to appear blasé. He was just like all the other teenage boys after all. Maybe _he _was playing hard to get.

"You seem disappointed. Don't tell me you've got the hots for him too?" She narrowed her green eyes at me.

"What? No. It just seemed…"

"You, Jane Watson, are the worst friend anyone could have!" Mackenzie jumped up and grabbed her satchel. "You're trying to steal my man right from under my nose!" _Her man_? I thought with annoyance. "You're probably hanging out with his family pitting them against me, aren't you?" She was livid and making a scene. Everyone started watching us.

"Mack, I don't know what you are talking about." I played dumb, wishing she would lower her voice.

"I hate you," she shouted. "Keep your hands away from him! I saw him first!" She stormed off back towards the school.

_Dear God, what just happened_? I glanced up, hoping the people who were watching didn't know we were talking about Edward Cullen. I'd thought about warning Edward of Mackenzie's infatuation with him, but decided to keep my mouth shut and let him figure it out on his own.

At lunch, Alice and Jasper were already seated at my table with a tray of untouched food in front of them.

"How do you do it?" I asked sitting across from them. The rest of their family was still at their usual table, but Alice and Jasper seemed more relaxed than they had yesterday. They weren't whispering and their eyes weren't darting across the room. It appeared Alice had taken care of it after all.

"How do I do what, exactly?" Alice asked smiling at me.

"If I don't eat anything at lunch," I explained, "I'm starving before school lets out. I haven't seen you eat anything at all — ever. Don't you get hungry?"

She exchanged looks with Jasper. "I do eat — you just never see me." I shrugged my shoulders and started eating my food. "I hear you and Edward are science partners," Alice continued talking. "You are very lucky to have him; he is very smart." Alice's reply sounded more like a sales pitch than a complement.

I nodded my head chewing slowly on my sandwich. "He's gay, isn't he?"

Jasper's eyes grew wide in astonishment. There was a loud commotion behind me. I turned to see Emmett slamming his hand down on the table and roared with laughter. Rosalie looked as if she was trying to calm him down, but was laughing as well. Edward sat like a stone with an angry look on his face. I hesitantly turned back around in my seat.

"Gay? I can see why you would think so." Alice paused as the laughter got louder behind me. "No, Edward isn't gay. Why do you ask?"

"He doesn't act like a typical seventeen year old male — that's all. I saw how he was acting around Mackenzie this morning, and most guys would have been impressed that she was going through all the trouble. Yet he seemed … uninterested."

"Edward isn't like all seventeen year olds," Alice replied. "He is more mature and quite the gentleman — when he wants to be."

We changed the subject and talked about other things. It was interesting to learn how life was different being adopted and having so many siblings the same age. Alice shared some her stories, while Jasper sat motionless.

"I would like to meet your parents one day. They seem like real nice people," I said.

"They are. We are both very lucky to have them." Alice reached over and took Jasper's hand. They smiled, looking into each others eyes.

Something passed between them causing me to be jealous. There were nights I had dreamed of a relationship where no words had to be said; where it only took a glance, or a smile to understand the other person. Unfortunately, I always woke-up to reality.

When I entered my last class, Edward was sitting at his desk. I took cautious steps, safely reaching my seat.

"You didn't fall," he said with a grin on his face.

"Imagine that." I smiled back.

"You seem to be becoming fast friends with my sister."

"Alice is sweet. I like Jasper too; he's nice." He nodded in agreement. "What was so funny at lunch?"

He looked startled that I had asked. He shook his head, "I don't know. Apparently, I missed the jest." He glanced back down at his textbook, then raised his eyes back to mine. "Emmett can be childish at times. Who knows what goes through his mind." He chuckled as if he had just made a joke.

I stared down at the floor, thinking about the relationship his other brothers and sisters had. His voice interrupted my thoughts.

"What are you thinking?" I looked back at him, troubled to find his smile gone; replaced with a look of worry and concern.

"Sorry," I apologized shaking the cobwebs from my mind, "I get lost in my own world sometimes. I was just thinking how your family compliments each other: Emmett acts childish and Rosalie acts mature. Alice is giddy and Jasper seems serious."

Edward smiled back at me, a look of relief on his face. They appeared to be a close, loving family. The rumors that were going around about them had to be hurtful. I hoped he and the others didn't think I agreed with them.

"Guess you're right. You seem to be the inquisitive type."

"Women usually are." He laughed and I fell in love.

The next day I sat alone during break. Mackenzie started hanging out with Tyson and his friends. That was a good sign she might drop the idea of going to Homecoming with Edward, but I doubted it. Alice and Jasper were becoming regulars at my lunch table, and I welcomed their company.

Edward advised me that he wasn't going to be at school Friday, but he would see me the next day at the library. I smiled and pretended that his absence wouldn't bother me.

Friday I was elated to see Alice in history class. The thought of sitting alone in the cafeteria brought back memories of my first few months at North Pole High.

"Do you want to hang out with Rosalie and me for break?" she asked. "The guys went camping so it's just us."

"Your parents don't mind them missing school to go camping?" Parents allowing their kids to explore nature instead of sit in a classroom was unheard of — at my house.

"As long as we keep our grades up they don't mind," she explained. "They think it's healthy for us."

"I don't think Rosalie would like my company. I don't want to intrude." Hanging out with Alice would be fun, but Rosalie might be worse than Mackenzie.

"She won't bite, I'll make sure of it." Alice linked arms with mine, and led me towards the back of the school where the picnic tables sat close to the woods.

Rosalie was sitting with a book in her hand and glanced up when we were halfway to her. She rolled her eyes before dropping them back down in her book.

"Rose, I asked Jane to join us today since the boys are gone. You don't mind do you?" Alice asked sweetly.

"Does it matter?" she replied unfriendly without making eye contact.

"No." Alice sat down and motioned for me to join her.

"What are you reading?" I asked attempting small talk with Rosalie.

"_The Last of the Mohicans _by James F. Cooper. It's for English."

"Very good book. I enjoyed it better than the movie."

"I'm a movie person myself," Alice chimed in. "Why read about it when you can watch it.."

I disagreed. "Books are usually better. They included more details and allow the reader to use their own imagination. The reader gets to chose how the characters look, act, and sound. Besides, the movie and book versions are sometimes different. Like _Cyrano de Bergerac _by Edmond Rostand and _The Last of the Mohicans_. They kept the same characters, just changed the ending and some of the details in the story. I guess they thought it would make it more enjoyable to watch."

A groan, or it could have been a growl, came from Rosalie. I took that as a warning sign and for the remainder of break, I responded quietly and shortly to Alice.

Rosalie continued not to speak during lunch. Alice filled the silence with chatter about clothing lines and which shops had the best deals. I tried to act interested, but had no idea what she was talking about. Rosalie continued to read her book, ignoring her sister.

After school, I went home alone. Austen was going camping with his friend. Dad declined the invitation because of work, but promised my brother he would join him when Austen went with his scout group. I wandered up to my room, appreciative to have the house to myself for a few hours. Not feeling much like reading, I took out my sketch pad and started to work on my science project. The ideas for the planet and the goddess, Venus, flowed easily from my mind to the pencil. Shortly, Dad arrived with pizza. I put my project away and went downstairs.

"What have you been up to?" Mom asked handing me a plate.

"Working on my science assignment." I grabbed a piece of pizza and sat down.

"What assignment is that?"

"Venus. Mrs. Sims assigned us a partner then assigned us a planet to research. We have to give a lesson next week and come up with ten questions for a test. I'm meeting my partner at the library tomorrow."

"Honey, you hear that?" Dad said looking at Mom. "We're going to have the house all to ourselves tomorrow. What do you think we should do?" he asked, moving his eyebrows up and down.

Mom chewed her pizza in concentration. "Clean, work in the yard, go to the grocery store, wash some clothes, catch up on an old book, check in with Renee and Charlie…"

"So much for romance, huh?" Dad said winking at me.

"If it is romance you're looking for," Mom said smiling at him, "then I think it would be very romantic if you would clean out the garage before winter. I think it would be extremely romantic if you would gather us enough wood for the fireplace. I think it would be exceptionally romantic if…"

"Honey," Dad stopped her. "I can only do one romantic activity at a time."

"I know." They laughed together.

I finished eating and went back to my room to figure out what to wear tomorrow. I don't know why I was so nervous at the thought of being alone with Edward. I shrugged it off concluding it was because he was new and mysterious, but underneath he was still just a normal teenage boy. "A rich, gorgeous teenage boy," I said aloud to myself, biting my nails, and staring into my closet. I was wishing on a friendship that wasn't going to happen; setting myself up for a fall.

Different scenarios of us together ran through my mind: chatting endlessly in the library, sharing a meal, sitting on the ground gazing at the stars, Edward telling me he wanted to be more than friends. I laughed aloud at my last vision. If he hadn't shown any interest in Mackenzie, there was no chance he would show any towards me. It had been quite some time since I had fantasized about a living person. Usually my fantasy's revolved around a fictitious character in whichever novel I was reading at the time.

I settled on a pair of jeans and my school sweatshirt, threw on my pajamas, and got in bed. The fantasy of us at the diner becoming close friends replayed in my head: laughing, talking, eating, sharing.

Saturday, I arrived early at the library to get a head start on our project. I gathered all the books I could find on Venus and sat down at a table towards the back.

"How long have you been here?"

Edward startled me. I had been engrossed in my work, I didn't hear him sit down across from me. His eyes seemed to be a lighter topaz than normal; I couldn't help but stare. He sat patiently waiting on my reply.

"I, um…," I stammered, "I got here a few hours ago. How was your camping trip?"

He smiled, "Fulfilling. May I?" I was uncertain what he was asking permission for, until I noticed his hand reaching across the table towards my sketchbook. I nodded and pushed it towards him. He quietly turned the pages. "This is good. You draw?"

"Yes. I'm not sure which one to paint." I got up and sat down next to him. His body tensed as I moved closer to turn the pages to show him my other drawings. "I've got Venus, the goddess, holding Venus, the planet. In this one she is leaning against the planet." I turned the page again, "That's her swinging with a small version of the planet in her hand. Then there is this one," I flipped back to the first drawing he had seen, "of her behind the planet, hugging it with her hair draped across and her cheek resting on top. Which do you like?"

"They are all representational, but I like the one." Edward pointed to the last sketch of Venus lovingly hugging her planet. "You mentioned you're going to paint it?"

I moved back to my seat — he was clearly uncomfortable with me sitting so close. "Yeah. Don't worry, I can do more than number paintings."

He chuckled, "I wasn't worried. Your drawings are very good."

"Thank you. I want to attend an art college after I graduate. Dad doesn't seem to think that I can make a living on just selling my art. He wants me to pursue a career that's more in demand. Mom disagrees. She happens to believe I can make it, and if it's what I want to do I should go for it."

"I agree with your mother. Sounds like you already have your life planned out."

"I have wishes, dreams, hopes." I laughed remembering my dream of him last night. "There is nothing in concrete. What about you? Do you have any dreams?"

He looked quietly at the sketch in front of him. Edward met my eyes with an unhappy smile on his face. "I can't dream."

There was such hurt and pain in his words, my heart broke. Time stood still as we gazed at each other.

"We should get busy." He looked at the books sitting on the table. Edward opened one of the books and his notebook. "We need to read and collect factual information about the planet," he explained. "Afterwards, we compare notes and come up with a lesson plan. From that, we can write down our questions for the test."

"Will you be willing to do me one huge favor?" He stared at me a moment before giving one slow nod. "I hate to ask anything from you, but will you please do the teaching part?" I begged. "I have a problem speaking in front of a crowd of more than…three."

He sighed. "That wont be a problem." He shook his head and started flipping pages in the book.

"Thanks. It's just that… I get tongue tied, then I start sweating, and my heart starts beating out of my chest, and…"

"It's okay, really," he interrupted. "You don't have to describe your anxiety symptoms to me — it's better if you didn't. I just thought you was going to ask me something else."

"What?" There were a million things I would have loved to have asked him, but would never have the courage to say out loud.

At first, I didn't think he was going to answer. His elbows were on the table with his hands folded and his chin rested on them. He had an intense look on his face. After a few seconds, he sighed and shook his head. "I thought you were going to ask me to go out with your friend, Mackenzie."

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Okay, maybe I would, but I wouldn't wish it on you. Besides, we aren't friends anymore."

"You're probably better off," he replied plainly.

"She has faults," I agreed, "we all do. But she was nice enough to befriend me when I first arrived. As you have probably figured out, they don't let anyone into their little clubhouse." I scribbled on my pad, "I was under the impression that you already had future plans with Mack." I peered across the table to see his expression. It wasn't what I expected; Edward looked livid.

"Excuse me?" he spat.

I quickly explained. "Mackenzie told me you were considering to let her show you the town and maybe take her to the Homecoming dance."

He gave a short laugh. "She lied. I told her she wasn't my type. She needed to quit wasting her time and all that energy."

"So…what is your type?" What other type did guys have but a girl with large breast and one that was willing to jump in the sack with them on the first date? Mackenzie had matched both those descriptions.

He quickly looked down at the book in front of him. "We really need to get to work or we'll be here all night."

Our conversation ended, and we began to work on our project. Edward's penmanship was immaculate, and he worked very fast. By the time I was ready to start my fourth book, he had read all of them. He took my notes from me and worked on the lesson plan while I worked on my drawing. It was a little before eight when we finished.

"That didn't take as long as I thought," I said, sad to see spending time with him come to an end. We had worked amazingly well together.

"You mentioned before that you have a brother. How old is he?"

He caught me off guard. I didn't remember saying anything about Austen. "Austen is eleven. His birthday was in August; mine is in November."

"How old will you be this November?"

"Seventeen on November 11th. You're seventeen, right?"

He nodded his head and didn't offer any further information about his birthday. "Your name is Jane and his name is Austen. The author Jane Austen has to fit in there somewhere." It was refreshing to just sit and talk to him. He really seemed to be interested in my boring life.

"My mother and father met at a Jane Austen seminar. They thought it would be cute to name their children after her."

"Sounds normal to me."

"Normal?" When I thought of my parents, the word normal didn't cross my mind. "Normal wouldn't have been the word you would have used in the beginning. My mom, she had some . . . problems. My grandmother raised me until I was two. When she had to move, I was left with my mom and dad. I can remember Mom breaking down — crying for no reason at all. It happened quite often, and my dad would have to come home to see about her; sometimes he couldn't get her to stop. She went to psychiatrists, but all they seemed to be able to do was prescribe medication which made her comatose. My dad couldn't stand it. After Austen was born, she seemed to start getting better. It was as if she willed herself to get better. Me and my dad both feared it was coming back when we moved here a few years ago. She would walk around the house, rechecking every window and door at least four times before going to bed. The phone would ring and she would jump. When the doorbell sounded, she would sit still and listen, even hold her breath at times before laughing at herself. I've caught her standing for hours; staring out the front window watching the cars go by. That lasted about two weeks, but now she's okay."

My face blushed as I turned away from his gaze. Edward had just heard my embarrassing family history. It felt good to tell someone. There was always a fear of someone knowing your family wasn't perfect; that your family had issues that couldn't be explained. I felt I could trust Edward. His eyes weren't judgmental or afraid at my confession. I needed to trust someone.

"Kids, we're closing. If you are going to check out any of those books you better do it now."

I told Mrs. Grantham it wouldn't be necessary. She advised us to leave them on the table. Edward and I walked outside. The crisp, cool air was welcoming. I breathed it in and searched in the sky for a star to wish on. _I really want to be close friends. Friends isn't too much to ask._

"It's not too late. Do you want to grab a bite to eat? We haven't had dinner yet." I smiled over at him desperately wishing he would take me up on my offer. There were things about him I was curious to know.

He was looking at me with a cold, hard stare. "It's best if we stay away from each other. Jane, we can't be friends."

I quit breathing, not sure if I had heard him right. Looking at his face, there was no denying he was being serious. I returned his expression. "That won't be a problem." Quickly, I walked to my car and slammed the door. I fumbled with the ignition key while Edward stood there and watched with pity.

The drive home was a blur as tears ran down my face. I had told myself earlier that it wasn't going to work. I knew I was setting myself up for a fall. My thoughts picturing us sitting down at Santa's Diner eating and talking had been childish and foolish.

Edward's attitude had changed after he listened to the sad story of my mother's breakdown. That was one of the reasons I never told anyone about that; scared they would look at me like I had a chance of going whacko like she did. I often worried about that myself.

The tears wouldn't stop falling as I pulled up to my house. Why hadn't I just kept my mouth shut? No doubt he would tell his family and they would treat me like a leper.

"That judgmental, hypocritical, pompous ass." I was furious with myself for believing he was different.

After several deep breaths, a lot of nose blowing and eye wiping, I exited my Honda and walked inside my house. My parents were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

"How did it go?" Mom called to me.

"Good. See you tomorrow," I mumbled and rushed up to my room. I sent my sketch pad sailing across the room. All my ideas had vanished. Earlier I had pictured bright colors, but now all I could see was black and gray. Hot tears streamed down my face as I pictured the cruel look and heard Edward's words again, _"It's best if we stay away from each other. Jane, we can't be friends." Solitude opened its doors and welcomed me back home._


	7. Chapter 7 Broken

CHAPTER 7

Broken

**Author's Notes: **I've divided this chapter into two different POV: First one is Edward's, and the second half is Alice's. I would like to thank all of you who have read and responded. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

Jane had been so easy to talk to, I couldn't help but ask questions about her life. It was easy to forget why being with her was so wrong. Her fragrance drove me wild when she sat next to me, but there had also been something else. I enjoyed her company more than I should and that could only lead to a disaster.

When she spoke of her family, I felt the need to protect her; to tell her she didn't have anything to worry about. I wanted to give Jane the comfort of knowing she could confide in me and I would be there for her. But I had lied — broken promises before — and she deserved better.

We stood outside the library. The air was cool and only a few stars were out. Her face was turned upward, gazing into the night sky. Every time the wind blew her hair, my senses intensified making me feel alive. She was young, beautiful, and life radiated from her.

It hit me without warning. Jane's thoughts were crystal clear in my head: _I really want to be close friends with him. Friends isn't too much to ask._

"If it's not too late, do you want to grab a bite eat? We haven't had dinner yet," she said and then turned and smiled at me.

Years ago I had allowed someone close to me, fighting all common sense that told me to stay away. Eventually, the time came when there were no other options but to separate. I walked away from Bella, leaving her broken hearted. I promised myself not to do that to another person. Jane had plans, talent — a life.

_It' s better to separate now instead of waiting until she gets closer, _I encouraged myself. "It's best if we stay away from each other. Jane, we can't be friends."

Her smile faded as tears formed in the corner of her eyes. "That won't be a problem."

She walked numbly to her car. I helplessly watched as she fumbled with the ignition key, then quickly left the parking lot. Least I could do was follow her home to make sure she arrived safely. My BMW idled from a safe distance while Jane sat in her driveway. I attempted to hear her thoughts but was unsuccessful. Moments passed before she managed to get out of her car and walk inside her home.

Jasper and Emmett were throwing the football around outside when I pulled up the drive.

"How did your date go?" Emmett asked grinning.

"It wasn't a date." I didn't want to go into any details with them; I had to find Carlisle. Maybe he could provide an explanation to the unusual occurrence I experienced with Jane.

"Were you two able to finish the project, or could you concentrate?" Emmett never knew when to drop a subject.

"It's over. I survived, she survived, project completed. Excuse me, I have to speak with Carlisle." I entered in the house, went to his office and tapped lightly on the door.

"It's open." Carlisle was sitting behind his desk with some new medical journals laid out in front of him. He was always interested in the newest technology and advancements in medicine. One look at my face, he closed his books and gave me his undivided attention. "What's wrong? How did it go today?"

"Hard," I said as I sat in the chair opposite of him. "She's easier to be with than I had hoped. I found myself being attracted to more than just her scent, but that isn't the problem."

"Oh?" Carlisle raised his eyebrows. "You've found a girl you are drawn to sensuously, intellectually and physically, yet you don't have a problem with that? Does that mean you've had a change of heart?"

"No. It means that I can control those areas of my life. My problem is…I've told you her thoughts are blocked to me?"

"Just as Bella's had been." He sat back folding his hands. "Yes, you mentioned it."

"Tonight, I heard her. Well — I think I heard her, but then she stopped."

"What did you hear?"

Carlisle sat silently, listening intently to every detail of the events that had transpired. "When we went outside," I expounded, "I was looking at the sky when I heard her voice, '_I really want to be close friends with him. Friends isn't too much to ask._' I know she didn't say it out loud because as soon as I started hearing her, I looked over and her lips weren't moving. She wanted to grab a bite to eat, but I told her we needed to stay away from each other and we couldn't be friends."

"You told her what?" Carlisle sat up with a look of annoyance.

"I told her to stay away and we couldn't be friends," I repeated. "We can't, Carlisle. She has plans — dreams for her future. I refuse take that chance away from her. She's had a hard life. She deserves someone that can be there for her without limitations and liabilities."

"She wanted to be friends, Edward, not life time partners," he argued.

"I'm not willing to take the chance that it won't go that far. Anyway, I'm through discussing that matter — what about me hearing her?"

Carlisle thought for a moment. "I don't know. Do you think you could have just thought you heard her?"

"I pondered that possibility; I've never done it before. Why wouldn't I have done that earlier? Why did it happen at _that _time and I didn't hear anything more afterwards?"

"You could be trying so hard to find excuses of why you shouldn't be around her, you're hearing thoughts of what you think she is saying to exonerate yourself. Did she look confused or scared that you knew what she was thinking?"

Jane's expression had been anything but confused and scared. "She looked hurt…then angry. She told me it wouldn't be a problem — not being friends." Remembering how she tried desperately not to cry in front of me made me feel ashamed — guilty of already causing her pain.

"Did that make you feel better?" I glanced up, meeting Carlisle's disapproving stare. It wasn't a look I got from him often.

"It made me feel better knowing she was going to be safe. Yes, I feel much better. So," I rose out of the chair and started towards the exit, "I just made up those thoughts. Do you think I might be going crazy?" I paused at the door and smiled at him.

"Yes." He opened his book, not returning my gesture. Carlisle didn't say another word and I let myself out.

One the way to my room, I passed by Alice's open door. She had returned from her shopping trip while I had been in Carlisle's office. She called my name just as my hand reached for my door knob. Sighing, I went to her room and stopped in front of the door. She was sitting on the floor, painting her toenails hot pink while the music blared from behind her.

"You like?" Alice asked. She stuck her leg up in the air, and dangled her foot in my direction.

"It's not me."

"Funny," she said returning to her art work. "Wait!" she called as I turned to leave. "How did your date go?"

"Like I told Emmett," I fumed, "it wasn't a date. We met for a school project — which I need to finish."

"I'm talking about afterward. Didn't you two go out to dinner?"

"Why would you think that?" Alice could have only known about Jane's attempt to have dinner with me if she had had a vision.

"Well," she began reluctantly, "I had a blurry vision last night of the two of you laughing and talking at the library. But today, while I was shopping, the vision came to me right in the middle of Macys. I envisioned you two having dinner at a burger joint. She ordered a strawberry shake and fries; you ordered a burger and soda. Nothing much happened. You both talked and seemed like you were becoming good friends. I was so happy you appeared to be enjoying yourself, I was able to shop for another hour. I was surprised to see your car here when I got home. " She stopped painting her toes to look up at me. "Was I wrong?"

"She wanted to go out to dinner, but I declined."

Alice made an annoyed sound, "You shouldn't have. You were having a great time."

Her comment went unnoticed.

"I wonder what happened to your vision?" I said lost in my own thoughts.

"You," she pouted.

I shook my head, "There was no way I would have ever went to dinner with Jane. I definitely wouldn't have ordered a burger," I said with distaste. "So why did you have that vision?"

Alice looked frightened as she realized there were holes in her vision. "I had been so excited you were having fun, I didn't question why you were eating." Alice's visions were usually right on the money. However, things could change if someone made a different decision. Even if I had agreed to dinner with Jane, I wouldn't have ordered anything for myself. "What if I'm broke?" She didn't wait for me to answer her. "Can't be. I had a vision about your first day and I was right then."

"It's not just you. I could have sworn I heard her thoughts tonight, but only for brief amount of time. I talked to Carlisle and we concluded it was a miscommunication on my part."

"Well, I'm _sure _I had a vision." Alice reached over and turned off her radio. She opened the top drawer to her dresser and dropped the bottle of hot pink polish inside with the hundreds of other bottles. "You don't think someone is doing this on purpose, do you? Messing with our abilities?"

"Who and why?" I asked as I sat down on her couch. "Has Jasper noticed anything out of the ordinary?"

She shook her head. We sat in silence trying to think of a reason for our sudden unexplainable events.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Emmett asked standing in doorway. "You two look like someone rained on your parade. What's up?"

"I'm seeing things, and Edward is hearing things. Basically, we're both screwed up."

Emmett walked in and sat down beside me on the couch. We were quickly joined by Rosalie, and Jasper sat on the floor next to Alice.

"Start from the beginning," Emmett said as he draped his arm across Rosalie's shoulders.

Alice and I went over our odd experiences. After seeing Carlisle's reaction to my departing words to Jane, I decided to play it safe and leave that part out of my story. Alice was already on edge, I didn't want to push her over. By the time we finished explaining what had happened, the sun was rising showing a new day was about to begin.

"I haven't had any problems with my abilities, but mine works different than yours," Jasper said.

"We didn't have any 'problems' until yesterday." Alice clearly didn't appreciate Jasper using the word problems referring to her ability.

"It only confirms what Edward and I have known all along." Rosalie crossed her arms and glared at Alice, "Jane Watson is bad news. These complications occurred around her," she looked at me, "and involved her," she said looking back at Alice. "If this doesn't solidify that Edward should stay away, nothing will."

"One that doesn't end up messy, you mean." Emmett gave an apologetic grin when he heard my groan.

"This is crazy." Alice jumped up and started pacing the room. "She's only human. How can she have _any _control over us? She doesn't even know what we are. There has to be some logical explanation to all of this."

Everyone was quiet.

"Maybe it's just a coincidence."

Alice firmly shook her head at Emmett's suggestion. "I don't believe in coincidences. I'll see if I have another vision and Edward can hang around Jane to see if he picks up any more thoughts."

"No. Let's just leave it alone." I'd had enough thinking for one day. There was still the science project that needed to be finished. I got off the couch and started to leave.

"You're just going to forget about it?" Alice shrilled. She braced herself in the door frame trying to block my exit.

"Yes, I am. Apparently, you and I got our wires crossed: you wanting one thing to happen, me wanting another. I think we are reading more into this than we should. Now please excuse me, I have work to finish."

Alice fumed but moved aside and allowed me to leave. I went to my room and shut the door. I didn't want to, but I had to agree with Alice; I didn't believe in coincidences either. No one came to mind who would be after us.

The only enemy I could think of was Victoria, but we hadn't seen or heard from her in twenty years. I was certain she still had a grudge against me; however, she wasn't stupid enough to come after me and my family. What was done was done. I had killed her mate protecting mine. She had to have lost interest in Bella after I left. What fun was preying on someone if the person you really wanted to hurt didn't care anymore? That was the assumption I wanted to give anyway. I always assumed that Bella was still alive and living a normal human life. The kind of life Jane would continue to live.

I doubted Victoria would forget what I had done to James. Could it be possible that she was behind the recent problems Alice and I were having? She may be able to make me believe I was hearing thoughts that weren't there, but there would be no way she could ever make Alice have a false vision.

Victoria was ruled out, so what? My mind was blank; I couldn't come up with one possible solution. There was no use in continuing to try or I would go mad. I was tempted to follow Alice's suggestion and call Jane to see if she wanted to meet somewhere. I started feeling guilty about the words I had spoken to her earlier, and the tone I had used. All she wanted was to be friends, and if I could control myself to only stop there it would have been fine. I started to work on the class project, putting all other worries and concerns in the back of my mind.

"Witch!" Alice stormed into my room.

"Excuse me?"

"Jane is a witch. That explains everything." Alice looked relieved she had solved the puzzle.

"A witch?" Alice nodded her head. "I take it you came up with this idea on your own."

"Tell me why she couldn't be?" She sat on my couch and crossed her arms, waiting on my rebuttal.

"I guess she could. Problem solved. Alice the vampire has Jane the witch for a friend. It is very believable." I tried not to grin.

"You scoff now but it could be true. It's the only thing that makes sense."

"Alice," I sighed, "quit trying to make sense of everything. Some things you just can't explain and this is one of them." I turned back around at my desk to continue my work.

_You like her as much as I do. Poor Edward, just give it another chance._

"Alice, please," I groaned. "This merry-go-round is making me dizzy. I'm tired of explaining how I feel and where I stand on things. It's not going to change."

"If she's a witch, why should you be concerned about her being around a vampire? She could be a good ally to have."

"Alice, even if she is a witch, I don't believe she would have the ability to make you have a false vision."

"You know, Edward," she got up and swayed to the door, "there are people out there that don't believe a vampire can be a vegetarian either." She shut my door and left me to my work.

**APOV**

My bungled vision would haunt me until I could figure out what happened. It was clear Edward didn't agree with my idea of Jane being a witch. I wasn't sure I agreed with myself. I went back to my room to vent and think. I didn't like things hanging over my head unexplained. The vision of Edward and Jane eating at a diner was clear as glass. Seeing Edward munching on a burger was almost laughable.

I had to remind myself that my visions had been wrong before. For instance, Bella becoming one of us, but Edward screwed that one up. Then there was the vision of Bella dying. Edward told me recently just how much alive he had found her. That made two strikes against me. If Edward wasn't going to help find out what was wrong with us, I would have to do it on my own.

I shut myself in my room and tried to concoct a vision of Jane. Even though Edward hadn't been able to read Bella's thoughts, I had still been able to have visions with her in them. Knowing this, I shouldn't have a problem with Jane. However, all I ended up with was twelve hours of frustration and an ill temper.

"You done in here?" Jasper poked his head in the room.

"Might as well be. I'm not getting anything," I vented sitting on the floor. "I don't understand what happened. I'm usually never wrong."

"People change. They aren't as easy to predict as the weather or the stock market." He walked in and sat down on the couch, patting the seat next to him. "Don't let it worry you so much."

I could feel Jasper's calming balm and accepted it with pleasure. "She could be a witch, couldn't she?" I sat next to him and laid my head in his lap.

"Sure. I've known a few witches in my life. Anything is possible."

He tried to distract me by changing the subject. He asked about my shopping trip and when the snow would start falling. Before I knew it, it was time to go back to school. I picked out one of the new outfits I had bought and quickly jumped in the BMW with the others. Needless to say, the ride was quiet and for once I was glad.

Jane's Honda was parked in its usual spot, but there was no sign of her outside. Her ex-friend, Mackenzie Cox, steadily chatted away with an average looking blond guy I recognized as Tyson Bennett. Mackenzie gave a much too bubbly laugh as we passed by, obviously trying to attract our attention. We continued to our lockers, then proceeded to our first class.

In science class, I thought of how to approach Jane to ask questions that would help me determine whether my hunch was right or not. I couldn't just come out and ask if she was a witch — she might get offended. I had to be clever about this. The bell rang and I hurried to Mr. Knowles class to confront Jane.

She was already seated with her laptop in front of her when I walked in. I continued to my seat next to her and quietly sat down. My eyes darted her way as I anxiously waited for her morning greeting. When it never came, I cleared my throat and decided to speak first.

"Good morning, Jane." I smiled.

"'Morning." I was perplexed at the sharpness of her tone. There was no friendliness in her voice; it was hollow and empty.

"How did it go Saturday with Edward?"

"Humph." She rolled her eyes and refused to look at me. I was about to continue to try for a dialogue, but the teacher started class. Having Edward's ability at that point and time would have been a God send — if it worked.

"Do you want to hang out with me and my family for break today?" I asked when class was over.

Jane stood up and gathered her belongings, still avoiding eye contact. "No, I'm going to be busy on my science project."

"Okay. See you at lunch then."

"I'm going to work on it then, too," she said as she hurried out the door.

I was bewildered. Did she know? Had she come to a conclusion herself on what we were? Edward warned me in the beginning that she was inquisitive. But I had been very careful around her — or so I thought. She had never treated me so cold since the first day we met. Slowly, I walked to meet with my family for break. Not only had I not answered my initial question, I just added more to the list.

Jasper, as always, was the first to notice my somber mood. "Now what?"

"You think Jane knows? How?" Edward asked looking startled. Apparently, he caught on to Jasper's words and read my mind.

"I don't know that she knows — but something is wrong." I plopped down on the bench and put my head in my hands.

"Knows what?" Rosalie directed the question to Edward, sensing I wasn't able to speak.

"That we're vampires," Edward replied, his tone flat.

"Shit," Emmett muttered and started pacing back and forth. "How do you know?"

"I knew this was going to happen. No one ever listens to me!"

"Rosalie, relax." I raised my head and glared at her, "I don't know for certain that Jane knows. She's just not being herself. I could be way off. I won't see her anymore today to be able to find out."

"Not eating with your new best friend?" Rosalie crossed her arms and glared back at me.

"You know, you and that constant frown of yours is starting to piss me off," I spat back. "She's working on a painting for her science project." We all turned to Edward, her science partner.

"She's making a painting of Venus the Roman goddess with the planet Venus," he explained coolly. "Maybe she was acting different because she's under pressure to get it completed; it has to be finished by tomorrow. I think you're reading too much into this, Alice. You're still upset over your deceptive vision, you're starting to jump to conclusions."

Emmett breathed a sigh of relief. "Edward's right, Alice. You know how you get sometimes. Jeez, you had us all worked up over nothing."

"Guess you're right." I glanced over at Edward; his eyes quickly looked away. _Now, what is he hiding?_

"Got to go. See you guys at lunch," he said as he headed back towards the school.

Tuesday, there was no change in Jane. She used the same excuse she had Monday on why she couldn't join me for break and lunch. Edward said she was under pressure to finish her project on time, so I left it at that.

I knew it was more than stress over the science project when Wednesday rolled around and she was still avoiding me. Determined to get some kind of answer, I cornered her after history class.

"You want to hang out for break?" I pleasantly asked.

"No. I've got a lot of work to…"

"Catch up on?" I harshly cut her off mid-sentence. "Yeah, that's the same excuse you've been giving me since Monday. What about lunch? I know for a fact that you're finished with the painting. What's going to be your excuse now?" She stopped gathering her things and looked at me for the first time this week. Her brown eyes were sad and her face had no color — no life.

"Please, like your family really wants me to hang around with them. Alice, you don't have to be nice to me. It's okay and I completely understand." She picked up her things and started for the door, but I wasn't going to let her by.

"Jane, I have no idea what you're talking about. Did you — do something that we should be mad about? Like a spell or a voodoo doll?"

"Voodoo doll?" She gave a short, bitter laugh, shaking her head. "Is that the kind of crazy he thinks I am? I don't know the line of crock he's been telling any of you, but I won't be the problem between you and your family." She pushed past me and headed to her locker.

"Jane," I followed her, "I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I've been coming up with crazy ideas on why you've been avoiding me these last few days. Edward said it was probably stress with…"

"With my crazy mother?" Jane was at her locker, tears were streaming down her face. "Did he tell you the pathetic story of my psychotic family?" I shook my head. "Oh, you didn't get the memo that you're supposed to stay away from me?" her voice broke. "I figured when he told me to stay away, and that he and I couldn't be friends, that included his whole family. Just so you know," she added as she wiped her tears on the back of her sleeve, "I think he is being real hypocritical."

"When did he tell you to stay away from us?" Anger started to rise in the back of my throat.

"Saturday, when we were leaving the library. I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and he told me it would be best if I stayed away. He not so kindly told me we couldn't be friends." Her laughter had a sharp edge, "I had a crazy idea that he was different than most. I told him about my mother's melt down before I realized what I was doing. I don't share that with everyone for obvious reasons. It just felt — easy to talk to him. It felt nice to have someone…" She shook her head in dismay and shut her locker. "Alice," she tried to smile at me, "just forget it. I can be sociable, but maybe it's for the best that we don't hang around each other. Like I said before, I don't want to be a problem for you and your family. Me being around will make it uncomfortable for Edward. Rosalie didn't like me _before _she knew anything about me."

"I can be friends with whom I want to be friends with," I said defensively.

"Not if that person doesn't want to be friends with you. I'm sorry, Alice," Jane sighed. "You are a very sweet person, but I can't handle this right now." She hurried down the hallway just as the bell rang ending break.

My next few classes seemed to last forever. I was fuming and couldn't wait to get my little hands around Edward's throat. He was at it again; trying to control people for his own conscience. When he told us his tale about what happened Saturday, he conveniently left out the small part about telling Jane to stay away and they couldn't be friends. I thought he only declined her invitation to have dinner without being a jerk. Edward knew since the beginning of the week what Jane's problem was. It was stress alright, but not just over a stupid class project.

I sped through the lunch line only getting a small amount for show. I was the first to sit down at our table and was quickly joined by Rosalie and Emmett. Jasper took the seat next to me and Edward sat down across from me, looking as if nothing was wrong. I wanted to slap that smug look off his face, but there was an easier way to get under his skin.

I knew Edward like a shopping mall. I sat at the table, staying quiet and keeping my eyes on him. In a short time, the talking ceased and everyone was watching me. Edward couldn't help himself from snooping. He was going to see what I was thinking — and I let him.

"Alice," he blurted out and stood up, "let's go outside and talk."

"No, Edward. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of the rest of the family. No secrets — remember."

"For goodness sakes, now what?" Rosalie banged her hands on the table. It was frustrating only being able to hear one side of an argument.

"Maybe we need to wait until we get home," Jasper added looking around the room. He felt the vibes I was sending out. That combined with Edward's temper could lead to an all out vampire battle; it wasn't good for humans to be around.

Edward sat back down, gave me his cold stare, and crossed his arms on the table. "I made it clear in the beginning that I wasn't going to get involved with Jane. If she doesn't want to be friends with you, that has nothing to do with me. I'm not interfering with your life this time."

"Why doesn't she want to be friends with you?" Jasper asked.

"It seems that our most kind brother, Edward, told Jane to stay away," my tone was bitterly sweet. "He concluded their conversation telling her they couldn't be friends. All this was said after she told him about a breakdown her mother had. Jane thinks that we all think she's loony, and now she doesn't want to be my friend because it may cause a family problem."

"I didn't tell her to stay away because of her mother," Edward objected. "I said it because I heard her, or thought I heard her, thinking about us becoming close friends."

"And why is that so wrong?" He opened his mouth to speak but I held my hand out to stop him. "Never mind, I think we've heard it enough. It doesn't matter why you said it, she thinks her family is the cause for your abrasiveness instead of your own self-pity." Edward clamped his mouth shut and somberly stared at the table.

"Just as well." Rosalie seemed pleased with the outcome. Edward was going to stay clear of Jane; Jane was going to stay clear of all of us. I never understood why Rosalie didn't like Bella. Jealously seemed to be ludicrous considering Bella's plainness compared to Rosalie's faultless beauty. Possibly, Rosalie wasn't a human person. She wasn't much of a vampire one either.

"He's upset," Jasper said after Edward excused himself and walked out. "I don't think he realized Jane was going to take his statement personally."

"Well, he better leave it alone." Rosalie got up from the table and Emmett grabbed her tray full of food. "It's over. Let's leave it alone," she said eyeing me before leaving.

"Jazz, you sure Edward has some feelings for Jane?" He cocked his eyes my way and slowly nodded his head. "Let's test those, shall we?"


	8. Chapter 8 Skids

CHAPTER 8

Skids

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Monday, I left the house early with my painting. Mr. Drummond, the art teacher, approved of me using his classroom for my science project. The parking lot was almost empty when I arrived, and I hurried to the art room. I placed my easel and canvas near the back of the room and began to lose myself in my work. As the students started piling in the classroom, I realized school was only minutes from starting. I covered my work and rushed to my locker to grab my books for 1st and 2nd periods.

I felt a little uncomfortable during history class. Alice politely spoke to me before class started, and I responded in an icy, cold tone. I could feel her eyes searing a hole through my flesh, but I ignored her and kept my eyes focused towards the front of the classroom. After class, she invited me to join her for break. I briefly explained to her I had a project to complete and wouldn't be available for break or lunch. It was obvious that Edward forgot to inform Alice of the new rule: The Cullens were to stay away from me.

"How is the painting coming along?" Edward asked as I sat down in front of him in science class.

"It'll be ready by tomorrow," I answered curtly. I hoped he was still willing to keep his end of the bargain and deliver the lesson.

"I've finished the lesson plan and have the questions ready to turn in. Would you like to take a look?"

I shook my head without turning around to look at him.

Nothing else was said between us. What else was there to say? Mrs. Sims picked up our questions for the test and class continued as normal. Afterwards, I silently gathered my things — never glanced his way — and walked out. I had made it through the day. _All I have to do is make it through the rest of this year and the next, _I encouraged myself.

Tuesday, Alice was still being friendly and trying to carry on a conversation. Once again, I avoided her attempts.

I was able to put the finishing touches on my painting during lunch. I had used a black canvas and painted the planet ecru color. To create the appearance of the sulfuric air, I over painted in some areas with a darker shade of beige. The Roman goddess wore a crimson red, long flowing gown. Her long, glittering brown hair cascaded down one side of the planet, while her faintly rosy cheek rested on the top of the planet with her eyes closed. Her ivory arms wrapped around the planet, holding it close to her. I completed it by scribbling my initials, JRW, in the lower right corner.

Ms. Stone excused me early from 6th period, allowing me to get my painting and have a head start to science class. It was a fairly large piece, and I was halfway to my destination when the hallway became crowded with people rushing to get to their last class. I made it through the door just as the muscles in my arms started to weaken.

"Here, let me help." Edward took the canvas out of my hand and the easel from under my arm. I breathed a sigh of relief. "If you would have asked, I could have picked it up for you and saved you some trouble."

"No trouble," I mumbled and walked to my seat. He sighed with exasperation as he sat down behind me and began to drum his fingers on his desk.

Edward moved to the front of the room when it was time for our lesson. Some people gasped as he unveiled my painting. Edward stood motionless, staring at the picture.

"Mr. Cullen, you may being now," Mrs. Sims encouraged.

He hesitantly turned his eyes from the painting, cleared his throat, and began the lecture. His voice was impressive and commanded attention. Every one in the classroom was unable to take their eyes off him or the painting. Mrs. Sims couldn't have asked for a better representation for the planet named after a goddess. There were a few who clapped when he finished, and I was able to smile for the first time since Saturday night.

The next day, I was lost before school started. With the project completed, there was nothing to preoccupy me — nowhere for me to hide. I decided to huddle at a corner table in the library, and work on some of my other studies.

I had hoped Alice would drop the charade of wanting to be my friend and stop harassing me to hang out with her. My hope was short-lived when she cornered me after history class.

"You want to hang out for break?"

"No. I've got a lot of work to…"

"Catch up on. Yeah, that's the same excuse you've been giving me since Monday." I was shocked at the hint of aggravation in her tranquil voice. "What about lunch? I know for a fact that you're finished with the painting. What's going to be your excuse now?"

Her features softened when I faced her. "Please, like your family really wants me to hang around with them. Alice, you don't have to be nice to me. It's okay and I completely understand." I had promised myself that I would never let anyone see me cry — it only makes them stronger — but I couldn't stop the tears. Since I first met Alice, I had wanted us to be friends. Then I met her brother, Edward, and fooled myself to thinking anything I shared with him, he would understand and not judge me.

I started for the door, trying to escape my shame, but she blocked my exit.

"Jane, I have no idea what you're talking about. Did you — do something that we should be mad about? Like a spell or a voodoo doll?"

"Voodoo doll? Is that the kind of crazy he thinks I am?" I laughed bitterly. _What has he told them about me? _I wondered. "I don't know the line of crock he's been telling any of you, but I won't be the problem between you and your family." I pushed past her, but she continued to follow me to my locker.

"Jane, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. I've been coming up with crazy ideas why you've been avoiding me these last few days. Edward said it was probably stress with…"

I snapped. "With my crazy mother? Did he tell you my pathetic story of my psychotic family?" Alice looked stunned and she shook her head slowly. "Oh, you didn't get the memo that you're supposed to stay away from me? I figured when he told me to stay away, and that he and I couldn't be friends, it included his whole family. Just so you know, I think he is being real hypocritical." Jasper already told me their family had problems too. Not sure what those problems were, but at least ours didn't have us roaming around the world.

"When did he tell you to stay away from us?" When she asked, her eyes seemed to glow.

"Saturday, when we were leaving the library. I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and he told me it would be best if I stayed away. He not so kindly told me that we couldn't be friends. I had a crazy idea that he was different than most. I told him about my mother's melt down before I realized what I was doing. I don't share that with everyone for obvious reasons. It just felt — easy to talk to him." I closed my locker and attempted a smile. "Alice, just forget it. I can be sociable, but maybe it's for the best that we don't hang around each other. Like I said before, I don't want to be a problem for you and your family. Me being around will make it uncomfortable for Edward. Rosalie didn't like me _before _she knew anything about me." I had seen last week how some of them could be: Rosalie snapping at her, Edward yelling at her.

"I can be friends with whom I want to be friends with," Alice responded stubbornly like a two year old. It would have been funny if it hadn't hurt so much.

"Not if that person doesn't want to be friends with you. I'm sorry, Alice. You are a very sweet person, but I can't handle this right now." She told me she could take care of herself but she was so small and fragile. I worried what the consequences would be if she went against what her family wanted. I hurried to my next class and spent my lunch tucked away in the library.

Edward was sitting with his eyes focused on his desk when I entered the classroom, and didn't say a word as I sat down in front of him. Undoubtedly, Alice told him about the conversation we had during break. He was probably pleased with himself that Alice had seen how crazy I could be without him having to lift a finger.

After class, Mrs. Sims stopped me before I walked out the door. "Ms. Watson, may I have a word please?" I walked over to where she stood, looking at my painting. "You painted this on your own?"

"Yes ma'am." I started to worry that someone told her it was a fraud and became defensive of my work. "Mr. Drummond can verify that I worked on it during break in his art room."

She dismissed my response with a wave of her hand. "I'm very impressed. I was wondering what you're planning to do with it?"

"Oh, I can come back after I stop by my locker and get it out of your way. I just thought you wanted to leave it up until after we were finished with the planets."

"No, it can stay up. I just wanted to know if you would be interested in selling it?"

"Selling it? Whoever wants it can have it. It'll just sit in my room and collect dust." I didn't want to look at. It wouldn't have bothered me if someone wanted to use it as firewood.

Mrs. Sims patted my shoulder and smiled. "I'm sure your family would be happy to at least be reimbursed for the canvas and supplies. You figure out a price and let me know. I'll write you a check for it tomorrow."

I numbly nodded an agreement and walked out of the room. I was so elated and shocked that I was actually going to be selling a painting of mine, I didn't see Edward standing around the corner until I bumped into him.

"You're going to sell her your science project?" he asked with a critical tone to his voice.

"Yes." I took a step back and went around him.

"I just thought since you were enthralled with the whole Venus thing," he said following behind me, "that maybe you would want to keep it."

I stopped at my locker and gave him a cold stare. "Emphasis on 'were'. Funny thing — after being around you, I sort of lost the _magic _of it."

He silently stood by while I snatched books from my locker. I slammed the metal door and briskly headed towards the exit with Edward following at my heels.

"I think you should hold on to it. You might find someone willing to pay you a lot more if you put it on the market. Maybe my mother…"

I couldn't stop myself. It wasn't like me to be so audacious, but there was something about his carefree advice that caused me retaliate. "Why do you care?" I turned and glared, stopping him in his tracks. "I don't need the pity of you or your family. I didn't want to be friends with you because of your rich cars or you designer clothes. I didn't even care about the so called problems you and your family ran from. I wanted to be friends because I had some wild idea you were different from the rest of these jerks around here. Jokes on me — right? You're no different."

I walked outside and started across the parking lot to my car. "Oh," I turned my head yelling over my shoulder at him, "thank you so much for telling Alice I might be some sort of witch doctor or sorceress, instead of the truth. But don't worry, I made sure she got the hint of just how crazy I am. Maybe you should follow your own advice and stay away…"

It didn't register that the horn blast was directed at me. Suddenly, there was a tight grip on my arm. I winced in pain as I was jerked backwards, and collided against Edward's chest. In front of us, a truck came to a screeching stop right where I had been standing.

Reggie Adams jumped out of his Dodge four-wheel drive truck — his face scarlet red. "You stupid bitch! I almost ran you over! Are you blind, stupid, _and _deaf?" he yelled.

I was breathless, my feet were like cinder blocks. Reggie was quickly moving towards me, and I thought he was going to finish the job he had almost done with his truck. Edward still had a tight grip on my arm. In one quick, sinuous motion, he swung me protectively behind him.

"What were you thinking driving so fast in a school parking lot?" Edward stood his ground. "I think you owe her an apology for almost hitting her _and _for being discourteous afterwards."

"Is that what you think, Cullen?" Reggie wasn't backing down and stepped another foot forward.

My eyes glanced over at the white BMW that was parked close to the main road. Jasper and Emmett were quickly walking towards us leaving, Alice and Rosalie standing next to a yellow Lamborghini. From the other side of the parking lot, some of Reggie's football buddies had a head start in our direction.

Edward gave a deep sound that sent chills down my spine. "I can overcome you in a matter of seconds before your buddies have time to help." I struggled to hear what he was saying due to the pounding of my heart. "If you think I'm some push-over like the rest of these kids — you're very, very wrong. Your chances don't look good, Reggie. The best, and smart thing for you to do right now is apologize to the lady and leave. The wrong, and stupid thing for you to do right now is to take another step in my direction."

Reggie hesitated, then slowly backed up; there was steam practically coming out of his ears. He never looked at me, just kept his eyes focused on Edward. "Sorry I almost killed you, Jane. Maybe we need to see about getting a cross guard for the idiots who don't know how to look both ways. We don't want a Chicken Little on our hands." He spun his tires on the way out.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until he left. It seemed like every eye in the parking lot had been on our confrontation. I felt ashamed, and my face grew hot at having caused so much trouble.

"Everything okay here?" Emmett asked coming up beside Edward. "Looked like there was going to be some trouble, and I didn't want to be left out on the fun."

"It's over now." Edward still held my arm. His grip had loosened, but he didn't make any movement to let go of me.

"Okay, we'll wait on you at the car." Jasper looked at me and smiled. I started to feel a little more relaxed.

"You okay?" Edward asked.

"Um, yeah." I swallowed. "Thanks. Can I have my arm back?"

He glanced to where his hand was and quickly released me. "Sorry, I didn't hurt you, did I?" I shook my head and hesitantly started walking towards my car. He placed his hand gently on my shoulder and stopped me. "Maybe I should escort you to your vehicle to make sure you get there in one piece."

I paused and stared at his extended arm. "What do you want?" I asked looking up into his amber eyes.

He put his arm down slowly and shook his head in confusion. "I want to make sure that you make it to your car without killing yourself."

"You think I intentionally walked out in front of Reggie? That I might be suicidal?" I was seething with anger and humiliation.

"You're putting words in my mouth. That's not what I meant." A shadow of annoyance crossed his face.

"Well, I'm sure I didn't put the words, 'It's best if you stay away from me' in your mouth. Go to hell," I yelled and stomped off to my car, pausing only to look both ways for traffic.

Edward stormed past me and stood outside his BMW with the rest of his family. _He's probably telling them how crazy I am, and he was stupid to make enemies with Reggie and his crew because of a psycho like me, _I thought to myself.

I jammed my key in the ignition and turned. Nothing happened. I was already running late to pick up Austen and couldn't afford to have something wrong with my car. I turned it again — still nothing. "This isn't happening." I began to hit and bang on the dashboard hoping to scare life back in my car. Once again, I tried to crank the old car but my Honda refused to be intimidated. I rested my head on the steering wheel, "Just my stinking luck."

The taping on my window made me jump. Edward stood next to my car door, and I groaned refusing to acknowledge his presence. I sat back and looked straight ahead out the windshield of my unmoving car.

"Pop the hood." Edward motioned to the front of the car. I picked up my book bag and started to look for my cell phone to find a ride for Austen. "Pop the damn hood!" He glared at me, frowning.

I glared back. "I don't need your help." I reached down, popped the hood, and got out of the vehicle. He propped the hood up and I gazed at the guts of my Honda.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

For some reason, Edward appeared to find my displeasure amusing. I entertained the thought, _If I kill him, I can plea insanity_. "Of course." I lied; no one in my family was mechanically gifted.

"You don't know anything about cars, do you?"

I cut my eyes towards him. "You seem to. Tell me, Mr. Goodwrench, what's wrong with it?"

He dropped his grin and replaced it with a look of annoyance. "It appears that someone has removed your car battery."

"Wouldn't they need a key or something? Why would someone want to do that?"

"Some people don't need a key." He glanced to where his car sat; the yellow Lamborghini left with the rest of his family. "I wouldn't worry about why they did it. I'm sure it was just a juvenile act."

"Ugh," I yelled to no one particular. "This day gets worse and worse. Like my freaking life!" I grabbed my cell phone from the car and dialed my father. He answered on the second ring.

"What's wrong?" If I was bothering him at work, he knew it had to be an emergency.

"Dad, someone stole my car battery. I'm stuck at school, and I haven't got in touch with anyone to pick up Austen. What should I do?"

"Stole your whole car battery?" I was too tired to be sarcastic and ask him how someone could only steal half a car battery.

"I don't know how — they just did. Now I'm stranded at school, Austen is stranded at school," I sighed. "I'm just really exhausted right now." I felt my voice waver.

"Let me call Howard and get him to install a new battery, but that may take some time. I have class in about twenty minutes so I can't leave. Your mother is still at work and it will take her some time to get there."

"I can pick up Austen and take you home." I had forgotten Edward was still there.

"I don't want to trouble you."

"It won't be."

There weren't any other options.

"Dad, there is someone here who will help me. I'll call Austen's school and let them know I'm running late."

"I'll call Howard. Love ya."

I turned to Edward. "Let me get my things and I'll meet you at your car." He waited for me by the passenger door. I notified Austen's school that I was on my way. They hadn't called my mother, but was on the verge of doing so when I called. They said Austen would be waiting in the office until I arrived. Edward held the passenger door open for me and I got into the front seat. After I settled in, I noticed a scent; a rich, sweet smell lingered in the car.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned look on his face.

I turned to face the window. "You don't have to worry. I won't attack you and steal your car. I'll even be sure to properly dispose of your voodoo doll since you're willing to help me out."

He chuckled, relaxing a little. "I never told Alice you were a witch. She came up with that idea on her own."

"That's a relief," I exclaimed sarcastically. "I didn't even have to tell her how crazy my mother was for her to figure out something's wrong with me."

"I don't think there is anything wrong with you."

"Oh, so my story about my mother being whacky had nothing to do with your decision to not be friends? You just don't like me at all."

He groaned, "My decision had nothing to do with you. I'm the reason I suggested we not be friends."

"You didn't just suggest for us not to be friends," I argued, "you _told _me to stay away; that we couldn't be friends."

"What's the difference?"

I turned around in my seat to face him. "To suggest something is to propose a choice. It's like when I asked you out to dinner. I suggested we go — I gave you a choice to say yes or no. You didn't suggest we not be friends, you told me we couldn't be friends. You didn't give me a choice. You made that finalization ending the possibility or chance of a friendship. That and you practically threatened me to stay away from you."

"I never threatened you," he replied sharply.

"The way you looked, it could have been perceived as a threat. Sort of like you look now."

He was quiet for a moment. A muscle quivered at his jaw. "I'm sorry. It has nothing to do with you, Jane. I have … issues. My life is a little complicated. I just wouldn't be a good friend for you to have."

"Edward, we all have issues and complications. That's why we need friends; to help us out when we feel like there is no way out. Are you telling me that I'm better off with Mackenzie as a friend than I am with you or Alice?"

"In a sense, yes." A look of tired sadness passed over his features. I began to wonder if it had anything to do with the problems Jasper warned me about before? "I think you're going to have to go inside and check him out. I'll wait in the car."

Abruptly, I was aware of my surroundings; Edward was already parked in front of Austen's school. I went inside and Austen was sitting with a frown on his face. He shot daggers at me when I smiled at him. I tried to explain my car troubles to the secretary, but it was clear she didn't care, our presence was delaying her from getting home. I signed Austen out and we left.

We walked outside and Austen paused at the door. "Where's our ride?" Austen yelled at me. I gestured towards the BMW and he gave me a inquisitive glare.

"It's someone from school. Just get in and shut up. I've had a rotten day."

"You've had a rotten day?" Austen bellowed when he got in the back of the car. "I'm the one left waiting on a ride. Then, having the reason explained to me by Mr. Bad Breath."

"Austen, be nice."

"Well, the man should learn to carry gum or something." Edward chuckled, apparently amused by my little brother. "Sweet ride. How fast does she go?"

"She can go 0-60 in 4.7 seconds with a maximum speed of 310 mph."

"Ever go that fast?" Austen put his face between the two front seats, reached his hand through, and started messing with the controls on the panel.

"Stop." I slapped his hand away. "Sit back and put your seatbelt on." He unwillingly did as I requested.

"Fastest I've gone was 270." Edward gave a sly grin, answering Austen's question.

"Want to go that fast now?"

"No," I interjected. "Why would anyone need to go that fast?"

"Running from the cops," Austen suggested.

"Or just the need for speed."

"Right on, buddy!" Austen slapped the back of Edwards seat showing a sign of approval. I stared out the window, ignoring their male bonding.

"So," Austen smashed his face between the two front seats and looked back and forth between me and Edward, "my sister finally got her a cool boyfriend, huh."

"Austen!" I turned yelling at him. "If you don't sit back and buckle in, I will crawl back there and do it for you, you little nuisance!"

"Sorry." I watched him sit back and buckled in. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Edward."

"So, Ed, you and my sister dating or what?"

My head felt like it was going to explode. "Austen, he is just helping us get home. Be nice and thank him that you didn't have to walk."

"Thanks, Ed."

Edward pulled up in our yard and Austen jumped out. "You play video games?"

"Not too much," Edward responded getting out of the car.

"You don't have time for games right now, Austen. You're already late getting your homework." I grabbed my book bag and shut the car door.

"Whose fault is that?" Austen yelled at me as he walked in the house.

"Sweet kid," Edward said leaning against the car.

"He's the devil's spawn." I couldn't help but laugh with him. "Sorry you had to endure that torture."

"It was … interesting. I haven't been around small kids in a long time."

"I'll loan you him anytime you want." We stood in silence for a while. "I've got to make dinner. I'm running behind, myself. Thanks — again."

"Jane," I stopped and turned around, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings Saturday, that wasn't my intention." He stared down at the ground in front of him. The expression on his face made him look as if he was fighting a battle within himself. His eyes flashed a gentle, but firm warning. "I don't think it is a good idea for us to be friends."

I stared at him, meeting his gaze. "I disagree."

"Fine, we can try." He smiled, showing his perfect white teeth. He paused before getting in his car to leave. "Alice or I will pick you up in the morning for school." He left — not leaving it up for debate.

I went in the house and started supper, thinking how my rotten day ended up pretty great. I had friends again, at least two.

During supper, Mom asked about the car. I told her someone had taken the battery out; probably a stupid joke. "It was nice of someone to help you pick up Austen and bring you home."

"His car goes 310 mph," Austen said, stuffing his mouth full of chicken.

The phone started ringing and Dad got up to answer, muttering about people calling during dinner. "So, who is this guy with the fast car?" Mom asked grinning over at me.

"It's just a friend, Mom. One of the new guys at school." She acted as if I had never had a guy friend before.

"Hon, it's for you. Nurse Wilcox." Mom jumped up and took the phone.

We sat at the table and silently listened. "Yes. I see. Yes. I'll try to get a plane ticket for Saturday or Sunday. Me too. Thanks for calling. If his condition changes, let me know. I'll see you this weekend." She sat back down at the table. "Dad's not doing good. I guess I'll go home and see what's going on." My mother was silent.

"You need me to go with you?" Dad asked.

"No, not now. I'll be fine. I can do it." His hand reached over and took hers.

The rest of supper was quiet. There was no more mention of my new friend. I cleaned up and went to my room to get ready for bed.

As I removed my shirt to put on my pajamas, I glanced at my arm in the mirror. It had already turned black and blue where Edward had grabbed me. It would definitely take time to heal. With the weather this time of year in Alaska, it would stay covered up with sweatshirts and jackets.

I jumped in bed and snuggled under the covers going over the events of the day. I started dozing off when something occurred to me; Edward brought me home without asking where I lived.


	9. Chapter 9 Perplexity

CHAPTER 9

Perplexity

**Author's Notes: **Many thanks to all who have read and posted positive comments. I hope that at least one of your questions will be answered at the end of this chapter.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

It wasn't long after Mom and Austen left for school, a yellow Lamborghini flew into the yard. Alice jumped out wearing yet another fabulous outfit.

"Edward told me you needed a ride to school. Who in the world would have been silly enough to steal your car battery?" she asked, opening the car door for me.

"Who knows. At that school you can take your pick." I got in and immediately noticed the same delightful smell that had been in their BMW. "What is that fragrance? I smelt it in Edward's car, too."

Alice glanced around as if searching for a clue. Suddenly, she stopped and her eyes grew wide. "Oh, _that _fragrance. It's… something. I can't think of the name of it, but our parents order it from overseas — somewhere."

"It smells good. Must cost you guys a fortune." I looked around at the exquisite leather interior. "How many cars does your family own?"

"Eight. One for each of us, then there's the family vehicle."

"Is this one yours?"

"Yes. I think the next car I get will be the color of matt blue. My last eleven cars have all been yellow. I'm starting to get bored with it."

"Eleven cars?" The Cullens were way out of my league. My Honda used to be my mother's car until I turned sixteen. She got her a new one (a used new one) and gave me hers, which I would probably keep until I was able to buy my own after college.

Alice was quiet for a moment. "I have OCPD. I found something wrong with every car, so my parents pacified me until my psychiatrist could readjust my medication." I could tell Alice was uncomfortable talking about her disorder. Seeing my mother suffer from OCD all my life, I understood Alice's situation.

"Maybe your feelings about the car being yellow is due to your OCPD."

Alice wrinkled her nose, "Nah, I'm just tired of yellow." I laughed at the idea of getting rid of a car just because you were bored with its color. Alice looked over and giggled too. "Now that you and Edward are friends, you can join us for break."

My head moved in agreement. It felt like I was joining an exclusive club. "Are there any, you know, rules I should know about?" She had a bemused look on her face. "What I'm trying to ask — is there anything I should be aware of? Things I shouldn't talk about: religion, politics, sports?"

Alice parked next to the white BMW. "Our family is open to all views. Everyone has their own opinion and all opinions are welcome. Talk about whatever you like."

"Are Rosalie and your other brother okay with me hanging out with the rest of you?" I asked as we walked towards the school together.

"Emmett doesn't care. Rosalie's not too happy about it, but majority rules." I remembered the last time I was around Rosalie when the guys went camping; she hadn't been unfriendly, but she hadn't been inviting either.

I was doing a little better in Geometry. Instead of making all F's, I was able to make a few D's. After History class, Alice followed me to my locker, then escorted me to the back of the school where her family were gathered. As I approached, I felt a little out of place. There they were, wearing the most exclusive name brand clothes. I was wearing my usual: what-ever-was-on-sale jeans, a t-shirt and sweatshirt.

"Look who I brought to the party," Alice sang as she swayed over to where Jasper was standing.

"Did your car get fixed?" Edward asked cutting his eyes over to Alice then back to me.

I casually sat down across from Rosalie. "I haven't checked, but Dad said last night that Howard installed a new battery so it should crank right up. Thanks again."

They all stared at me, not saying a word. It was as if they were waiting for me to do some kind of trick. I chuckled at my visualization of me jumping up and yelling, "Tada!"

"What is it?" Edward asked, leaning against a tree. He had been sitting on the table but moved closer to the woods when I sat down.

"Nothing. I was just…sort of daydreaming." I glanced at each of them still staring at me and started to feel a little uncomfortable. "So, what do you guys think about this weather? Pretty cold, huh? I bet it will be snowing before you know it. Was it cold where you used to live?" They hadn't mentioned where they were from.

"Yes, it got quite cold on the northeastern coastline," Alice answered and sat down next to me.

"Do you move often?"

"Not too much," Alice quickly replied.

"What about you?" Rosalie asked. "You're new here, do you move much? Where did you move from?"

I glanced over at Edward; he stood like a stone monument. "My family moved here from Jacksonville, Florida, a few years ago at the beginning of my Freshman year. I haven't lived any other place besides there and here."

"That must have been a drastic climate change for you," Jasper said.

"Oh yeah. I went from sunny and hot, to cloudy and cold. It was depressing at first, but I like it now. Although, at times it can get as cold as a well-diggers butt." Everyone started laughing, including Rosalie.

"Well-diggers butt?" Edwards asked smiling.

"That's how my dad described it when we first moved here. One of his crazy southern sayings."

After break, I found myself looking forward to lunch just to talk to them again. It felt good to belong somewhere, even if it was with the outsiders. Mackenzie had always tried to impress the other students; always tried to fit in even though they never acknowledged her. It wasn't like that with the Cullens. They didn't seem to care what other people thought of them and ignored the glances and gossip. I could be myself around them, something I hadn't been able to do since leaving Florida.

When I lived in Jacksonville, I had a circle of friends; two I had been close with. However, when I moved to North Pole, we started talking less and less. Our interest changed, and it became harder and harder to carry on a conversation with them. After a year apart, we gave up trying to pretend it was going to get any better and our friendship dwindled out.

Lunch time finally arrived, and I went through the line getting my regular meal. I started towards my table and stopped in the middle of the cafeteria, staring at an abandoned table. I jumped, nearly dumping my tray on the floor, when a hand lightly touched my back.

"I'm sorry, did I startle you?"

"Sort of." I turned and noticed a gleam of interest in Edward's eyes. "I thought you guys changed your mind and ditched me," I said, following him to their table.

"Friends don't let friends sit alone." He smiled and sat down next to Emmett while I sat closer to Jasper leaving a vacant seat for Alice.

The guys started talking about football as I munched away at my apple. I heard their voices but wasn't paying much attention to what they were saying. Football wasn't a big sport in my family. Dad loved golf and fishing, but I didn't like either one. I enjoyed canoeing and had been on a swim team when I lived in Florida. As long as I was off my feet I seemed to do okay.

I was just finishing my apple when we were joined by Rosalie and Alice. "I've got a schedule for the ice skating ring in Fairbanks," Alice said taking her seat next to Jasper and me. "They will be opened this Saturday, who's in?"

"I'll go with you," Jasper said.

"Count Emmett and me in." Emmett started to protest but Rosalie cut him off. "I'm always doing things you like to do. You can do something every now and then that I like."

"_What _about last night did you not like?" My mouth froze in the middle of taking a bite of my sandwich. The table shook and Emmett grunted in pain. My eyes drifted around the table and everyone had a menacing stare on their face. "Sorry," Emmett mumbled looking at me. "That didn't come out right. What I meant to say was that, um…what I meant by saying what I did was . . ."

"Last night he treated Rose to a romantic dinner for two," Edward jumped in. "He doesn't pay her enough attention during football season." They all stared at me just as they had during break. I dropped my eyes and continued eating my lunch.

"How about it, Jane? You want to come skating with us?" Alice asked.

"This Saturday?" I swallowed. "I'll try." I had no intention of making of fool of myself in front of them.

The guys continued their discussion of football, while Alice and Rosalie talked about ice skating. I sat in silence, eating my food, just listening. When I finished, I sat back and glanced around the table. A full tray of food sat in front of each of the Cullens. I had noticed before that Alice and Jasper didn't eat their food, but now it appeared like the rest of the siblings had the same policy.

Lunch was over and the rest of the day went by in a flash. Edward escorted me to my car and it cranked right up. I picked up Austen and went home to start supper. Everything was falling back into place; my life was getting back to normal.

After supper, Dad informed me I would be home alone all day Saturday. Austen was spending Friday night with a friend, and he had a seminar to attend at the college. Mom was going to be leaving Saturday to fly to Granddad's. For Mom to be flying to see him — it must be bad.

Granddad had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few years ago. I hadn't spent much time with Grandpa Charlie. He visited us in Jacksonville a few times, but we never went to see him. What I knew of my grandpa, I liked. He was down to earth; a man of few words, but when he did speak it meant something. He was nothing like Phil, Nan Renee's husband. Phil refused to be called anything but Phil. My dad's parents died in a car accident before I was born, and neither of my parents had any siblings. Mom's parents were the only relatives Austen and I had.

Friday was monotonous. Everyone was looking forward to the weekend. There was a pep rally for the football team, and people started talking about Homecoming that was a few weeks away. I saw Tyson and Mackenzie walking together after school. I smiled and waved at her, but she opted to ignore me as did Tyson. I was with the freaks now.

That night, while Dad was in his study, I helped Mom finish packing. "You think Grandpa is going to be okay?" I asked folding some of her shirts and placing them in the suitcase.

She was thought before answering. "I'm not sure. I want to say it's not as bad as Nurse Wilcox makes it out to be, but I know he can't live forever." She stood motionless, staring into space. I had seen that look on her face one too many times. What kind of skeletons could be hiding in my mother's closet that would make her frightened enough not to want to see her dying father? No one had ever said a bad word about Grandpa Charlie, so why was the reason she feared going?

"Mom, I can go with you. I'd like to see Granddad." I stood in front of her, watching her face go pale. "Mom, I'm old enough now where I can be a good listener if you want to talk about something."

"Jane," she said, embracing me, "there are some things that are better left unsaid." She kissed my forehead and brushed my hair off my shoulders. "I'll send for the rest of you if I think your grandfather's condition is that bad. Charlie will want to see you before he dies. I haven't been the best daughter to him. . ."

My mother's voice broke, and I hugged her close to me. She shook as sobs erupted from her small body. All of the sudden, someone was pulling her away from me. I watched helplessly as my father wrapped her in his arms and carried her to a chair in the corner of the bedroom. He sat holding her like a small child while she cried against his chest. Silently, I left the room, not wanting to intrude any more than I already had. I wanted to be there for my mother, but my arms weren't strong enough to hold her in one piece. I went up to my bedroom, fell on my bed, and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

When I awoke the next day, snow was lightly falling from a cloudy sky. "Glad I'm staying home today," I muttered, stumbling to the bathroom for a shower. I threw on an old pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt, then moseyed downstairs to get something to eat. The house was quiet, and Dad had left a note on the table to let me know he would see me later.

After breakfast, and an hour of flipping the TV channels, I went back upstairs and took out my Geometry study notes to work on a few problems. The more I worked, the easier it became. I was on a roll and feeling confident with myself when the doorbell rang. I glanced out the window and was dumbfounded at the sight of the white BMW parked behind my Honda.

"Shit." I ran to a mirror to check my appearance. There were milk stains on my sweatshirt and holes in my socks. My hair was piled on top of my head in a heap of tangles where I failed to comb it out after my shower. I stood still, holding my breath, hoping they would go away. I waited a few minutes, then tiptoed back to the window to see if they had left. I peered out in time to see Edward wave at me from below.

"Can I come in?" he yelled looking up.

There was no use in hiding; I trudged down the stairs to let him in. When I opened the door, I was blown away. He stood in front of me, devilishly handsome with his bronze hair disheveled and glistening from the few specks of snow that had fallen on it. His eyes were a bright amber against his pale skin. I stood with my mouth open, staring at him in my doorway. _Oh my God! Would you move already? Have you completely lost all sense of life? _I screamed at myself, trying to rouse myself back to reality.

His smile faded and he looked nervous. "Excuse me, did you say something?"

"N-no," I stuttered. "What are you doing here?" I peered past him and saw that he had come by himself. "Shouldn't you be in Fairbanks, skating?" I looked over at him and he was still staring at me. Self-consciously, my hands flew up to my hair to remove my hair clip. "What?" I asked, averting his steady gaze.

"Nothing." His features relaxed. "I came by to see if you were going and if you wanted a ride." I started laughing, "What's so funny?" he asked with a crooked grin on his face.

"I can't skate." I turned and motioned for him to follow me into the living room. I sat down in the recliner next to the fireplace, and tucked my feet under me to hide my holey socks. Edward took a seat on the couch.

"Our first year here, Dad took us skating to get us out of the house and lighten our mood. Being raised on a bright, sunny beach, then having to come here was a big adjustment for Austen and me. Of course, it only took Dad and Austen a matter of minutes before they were able to skate freely. I was still lacing up my skates when my mom fell and broke her wrist." I laughed remembering my mom and dad giggling together at the idea that she would be able to skate. She had problems walking in heels, much less ice skates. "When I saw her fall — I took mine off. In our family, like mother like daughter applies."

"So, you haven't even tried? How do you know you can't do it unless you try?"

"There are just some things you know. For instance, if I had been on the Titanic, I think I would have been able to survive. I'm a real good swimmer and sometimes all it takes is mind over matter. However, if you put me against zombies — I'm dead."

He slowly nodded his head, "A tragedy like the Titanic is something your brain can comprehend. It's a realistic tragedy that can happen in everyday life. Zombies are more of a…science fiction realm. Monsters are just in story books; your mind can't grasp reality of them existing."

"Oh, I think zombies could exist. With all the crazed scientist out there, it's only a matter of time before they experiment with the dead and try to bring them back to life — if they haven't already. One thing humanity will never learn is some things are better left alone." He was staring at me, and I realized I was rambling on. "Sorry, it's not often that I find someone I can talk to about such things. Back home I had two best friends who were into paranormal activity and sci-fi, but here. . ."

He nodded, "I understand. Sometimes you can feel lonely even in a crowded room." He looked around the room, "This is a nice house. Where is your family?"

"Mom had to go out of town, Dad is working, and Austen spent the night with a friend."

"Shouldn't you be having some fun?" he asked giving a mischievous smile that made my heart jump.

"I wouldn't call breaking bones and spending most of my time laying on a cold ice surface fun." I smiled back at him.

"I promise, I won't let you fall. I'm a real good teacher and could have you skating in no time."

He made no indication he was going to leave me alone.

"Let me change. Trust me, you're going to regret this." I jumped up and ran up the stairs. I exchanged my sweatpants for a pair of jeans, threw on a clean shirt, yanked the tangles out of my hair, and grabbed my coat. I left a note for Dad in the kitchen and hopped in the car seat next to Edward.

"If you believe zombies could exist," he asked pulling onto the main highway headed to Fairbanks, "why do you think you wouldn't be able to survive?"

"You've never seen me run." We laughed together.

It was getting easier to be with him. All the way to Fairbanks, we talked about what we thought were the best and worst zombie movies.

"Really, who ever came up with the idea of zombies had a sick mind."

"They just had a real good imagination, which caught on. No different than some of the other make-believe characters like the tooth fairy," he explained.

"What? Next you're going to tell me there's no Easter Bunny."

"Sorry. There are no little leprechauns running around with large pots of gold either."

We pulled up to the skating arena, and I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. "You must be a speed demon," I said getting out of the car. "How many tickets do you against you?"

He smiled innocently at me, "None. I have a secret radar detector. Some might consider it illegal, so I can't show you."

We walked inside and recognized several kids from school. I anxiously waited while Edward went to rent the skates. His brothers and sisters were already on the ice, and they were joined by two other people. All of them were skating like professionals; jumping and spinning on the ice. They seemed to be flying with ease on the frozen floor.

"Here you go." Edward handed me my skates. I hesitated putting them on, looking down at his family again. "Don't let others intimidate you," he said following my gaze.

"Do you know the other couple?"

"That's my mom and dad."

"_Your _mom and dad?" They looked so young from where I was sitting.

"Yes. They enjoy skating as much as we do. Come on." He knelt down and started lacing up my shoes. I was trying to stall for time, but he wouldn't let me. His fingers moved so fast, he was standing with his hands extended towards me in record time. "Shall we?"

I nervously chewed my bottom lip and smiled up at him. "You honestly have no idea what you're getting yourself into." I took his gloved hands as he helped me off my seat and slowly lead me down towards the ice. I stopped to take off my safe guards, and when I looked back up Edward's parents were there.

"Mom, Dad, this is Jane Watson. I'm going to be teaching her how to skate today." I quickly glanced at him and saw a smirk on his face. "Can you believe she has lived here going on three years and has never put on a pair of skates?"

"It's nice to meet you Jane. You have an excellent teacher," his father said to me. He reminded me more of Rosalie and Jasper, with his blonde hair. His parents were as stunning as their adoptive kids. Mrs. Cullen stood with a smile on her face, not saying anything.

"So I've been told. You're a doctor, right?" I asked his father.

All three of them gave me a questioning look. "Yes," he replied.

"Don't leave any time soon 'cause I'll probably need one." I took in a deep breath to relax, and gently stepped on the ice, holding onto the rail for dear life.

Edward's strong hands grabbed my waist from behind. He leaned down close to my ear giving me instructions. His cool breath on my skin caused my mind to go blank. I felt like a marionette and Edward was my puppeteer. My body willing obeyed his orders. He moved from behind me and positioned himself facing me. "See, that wasn't too bad was it?"

I glanced around noticing I had made it all the way around the ring. I looked back at him and started smiling. "I did it?" He nodded and laughed at my response. "I made it all the way around the ring? I can't believe it."

Someone called my name, and I turned to see who it was. My sudden movement caused my feet to slip out from under me. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth shut, preparing to feel the impact of my body hitting the hard ice. Edward was as fast as lightening. I don't know how he managed to do it, but he was suddenly behind me again and caught me around my torso as my head slammed against his chest.

"Oops," I gasped.

He eased me back into a standing position and placed his hands at my waist again. "Maybe you should rest a while." He led me off the ice and helped me to a chair. "I'll get you some water. Be right back."

"Smooth move." Mackenzie said with a bitter edge of cynicism in her voice. I turned surprised to see her standing next to my seat. "You're not as sweet and innocent has you make out to be, are you?"

"How have you been? I haven't seen you since that day you accused me of trying to steal your man, even though he told you that you weren't his type."

Her green eyes flashed with anger. "Looks like my accusation was right on the money." She glanced in the direction Edward had left. "I suppose you've already talked him into taking you to the Homecoming dance."

I dropped my eyes. Even though I would have loved to have seen her reaction if I said yes, I couldn't bring myself to lie. "Mack, Edward and I are just friends. There's nothing else going on between us."

She eyed me with her cat eyes. "Didn't look that way to me. I saw how he was looking at you — his hands all over you."

I doubled over with laughter. "He was helping me skate, Mack." I wiped tears from eyes and was trying to catch my breath when Edward handed me a bottle of water.

"Hello, Mackenzie. Did you see Jane make it all the way around the ring? Impressive, wasn't it?" He sat down next to me and placed his arm across my shoulders. I was caught off guard by his sudden movement. My heart thudded once, then settled back to its natural rhythm.

Mackenzie glared at him then looked at me with a tight smile. "Very impressive." She took in a quick breath and looked around. "I'm sure Tyson is worried about where I am. I better go find him. You two have fun." She walked off in a hurry.

I shook my head in disbelief. "She is livid with me. She actually thinks you and I have a thing going."

He didn't respond. We sat in silence, watching the couples on the ice. Emmett was lifting and throwing Rosalie around, Alice and Jasper skated hand in hand, and Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were skating close to one another.

"You ever get lonely?" He was quiet and I looked to see if he had heard me.

"Sometimes." There was sadness in his voice — an ache. He had been watching them just as I had. "They try not to be so affectionate towards each other around me, but they shouldn't have to be so conscientiousness."

"Why didn't your dad adopt another girl?" He slowly gazed at me with an eyebrow cocked. "I mean… doesn't that make more sense, or did they not plan on them becoming more than siblings?"

"They can't adopt just anybody." He removed his arm from my shoulder and turned away from my stare.

"Of course not. I just don't think it's right. Doesn't seem fair."

"What's that?" he asked, appearing to be uncomfortable with the subject.

"I could tell when we were working on our science project, that you have been in love before." He flinched when I said it, but I continued on with my explanation. "Obviously, it wasn't with an adopted sister, so I'm thinking she was someone you used to know. What I don't think is right — when you moved you had to leave her behind, yet they get to continue to be happy. What happens when you fall in love again, and your family decides to pick up and move? You have to start all over but they don't. It's just not fair."

He gave a bitter laugh, "It's a little more complicated than that, but the idea of me falling in love again is preposterous."

"Edward, you're young. It's not the end of the world."

Abruptly, he turned his head towards me. The glamorous look he had before was replaced with a dark, insufferable look. "Have you heard the quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem _The Memoriam: _''Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'?" I swallowed and nodded my head. "And do you agree with him?"

"I've never been in love — I wouldn't know," I whispered, embarrassed by the sudden harshness in his tone.

"Then it's probably best if you don't speak of that which you don't understand. The agony and emptiness you feel doesn't go away. Memories, which keep replaying in your mind, is all you have left and they don't seem to be enough." He quickly got up and left before I had a chance to reply.

I sat, astonished at how quick his mood had changed. My shock and humiliation quickly turned to anger, and I started unlacing my shoes.

"You two leaving already?" Alice sat down next to me. There was a strained look on her face when she tried to smile.

"I am," I snapped as I continued to untie my skates.

"Did you and Edward have an argument?"

"No, there was no argument. He doesn't argue. He just makes you feel about the size of a pebble, then storms off before you have a chance to retaliate." I sat back in my chair and sighed. "I may have gotten a little too personal with him. I didn't mean to upset him. I shouldn't have talked about his ex." Alice gasped. I quickly looked at her and understood where I went wrong. "Oh, God. I didn't know. I honestly had no idea! Alice, how did it happen? Poor Edward. He must think I have no heart; a monster." I slumped down in my seat. I wanted to bury my head and never have to look at him again.

"I don't know how much I should say. What has he told you?"

"I thought they broke up because he had to move. He tried to tell me it was more complicated than that. I should've stopped then." I shook my head at my own stupidity. "He had made some cynical remarks about love when we were working on our project, and I knew someone had hurt him. Then today — I just kept pushing and pushing…" I wiped the tears from my eyes, remembering the pained look on his face. "I have to apologize to him. If I had known she was dead, I would never have brought it up."

Alice stared at me. "She didn't die, Jane." I stared back at her letting what she said sink in. "It is a complicated story, and we don't discuss it around him. He's still fragile about the topic. It was the love of his life, but they couldn't make it work."

"He's only seventeen, Alice. How does he know it was the love of his life?" Now that I knew she wasn't dead, I started to get angry again at his overly dramatic reaction.

"Like we keep telling you, Jane, it's complicated." I groaned and rolled my eyes at their explanation. "I'm sorry, but there is no other way to explain it. Just please, drop the subject? When he's ready to talk — he will."

The whole drama of the situation was childish, but I mumbled an okay. The idea of someone being so in love at seventeen, thinking they would live the rest of their life in misery was absurd. Alice and I sat in silence a few more moments before she left me to join Jasper back on the ice.

"Complicated," I muttered. I wondered if it had anything to do with the "problems" Jasper had mentioned. _Let's see, _I thought, _they could: be in the witness protection program, spies, mafia, drug cartel, zombies. _I giggled at my last reason. _Could be the reason they don't eat; because our school doesn't serve brains._ But, I had to rule it out because of how quick they were on their feet, and the fact they were insanely beautiful. It was clear I was going to have to keep my mouth shut when it came to their past. Like Alice said — when he was ready to talk, he would.

I returned my skates and walked outside to get some fresh air. Edward was pacing in front of his car. I wasn't going to bother him, so I turned around to walk back inside.

"Wait," I turned around and he was walking towards me. He stopped a few feet from me. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier. I had no right to speak to you that way."

"You could have handled it better than you did," I agreed with him. "I'm sorry if I got too personal with you. I'm not used to being around someone whose life is so problematic. Next time, I would appreciate it if instead of you treating me like an imbecile and storming off, just tell me you don't want to talk about it. It doesn't help to keep things bottled up inside; it could drive you mad." He nodded his head but wouldn't look me in the face. I thought of my mother; that was what she had been doing all these years.

"You guys going to get something to eat?" Emmett asked standing behind me.

"I probably need to be getting home. You don't mind, do you?" I asked looking at Edward.

"No, I'm not all that hungry." Emmett snickered and I followed Edward to the car.

The ride home was quiet, the only noise came from the radio. Edward pulled up in front of my house and let the engine run.

"I had fun tonight. Really, thanks for getting me on the ice. I will probably never do it again, but at least I can say I've tried it and didn't break anything."

My hand was on the door when he stopped me. He struggled with what he wanted to say. "I loved someone, but there were . . .issues; difficulties in our relationship. I saw no other solution but a clean break. It broke her heart, as it did mine, but I did it out of love. I just don't want to have to go through that again." He met my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I placed my hand on his, and found his skin cold and sleek. I glanced down, and he quickly moved his hand away from mine. "There is something that has been bothering me," I said. "Mind if I ask a question?" He sat frozen in place. "How did you know where I lived?"

My question caught him off guard, "Wh-what?" he stammered. "You told me."

"I didn't and you never asked." He shifted in his seat and avoided my eyes. I sighed and opened the car door, "Doesn't matter now, I guess. Thanks again, Edward. Hey," I said leaning inside the car, "if you want to talk, I'm here. Seriously." His tight expression relaxed into a smile as I shut the door. He waited till I was inside before pulling away.

Dad stood up from the couch when I walked inside. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, I did." I noticed Austen's bag at the foot of the stairs. "I thought Austen was staying with John until tomorrow. Did he get sick?"

"Jane, you need to pack. We're leaving in the morning for Washington."

"Grandpa's not doing good, is he?"

My father took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. "He passed away earlier today. Your mother needs us now. We are going to have to be strong for her, okay?" I nodded silently, tears freely falling down my cheeks. I slowly went to my room, drug my suitcase out of the back of my closet, and started to pack. I was finally going to the forbidden place; Forks, Washington.


	10. Chapter 10 A Trusting Friend

CHAPTER 10

A Trusting Friend

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

We left early the next morning and flew to Seattle, Washington. From there, Dad rented a car and we headed to Forks. It was a long, quiet four hour drive. When we passed the sign, _The City of Forks Welcomes You_, I immediately sat up and paid attention. This was the place my mother never spoke of — the place we never visited.

Dad stopped to fill up at a small gas station in town. I got out to stretch my legs and look around. It seemed like a pleasant town to live in, about the same size as North Pole. The downtown area was lined with small businesses and shops. The weather was damp and gloomy, making it seem colder than where we had just come from — something I didn't think was possible. Dad fueled up and we were back on the road. He warned Austen and me, since Grandpa was a retired Police Chief and the town loved him, there would be a lot of people going in and out of the house.

We pulled up to a small, two-story, wood framed house surrounded by woods; three vehicles were already parked in the front yard. We got out, grabbed our suitcases, and headed inside.

"Darling, I'm so sorry." Dad was instantly at Mom's side and kissed the top of her head. "I wish I could have been here with you."

Mom squeezed his hand, "It's okay. I barely made it in time myself. He passed away shortly after I arrived." She looked over at me and Austen. There was sadness and regret in her eyes as she walked towards us with open arms. "Guys, I'm so sorry. I should have let you both come." She gave us a long hug then stepped back. "I'm afraid you're going to have to share a room together. It's my old room."

Mom led us up the stairs and into a room that faced the front yard. There was a double bed, a desk, and an old pine dresser, which set up against the wall. "There is only one bathroom, so we're going to have to share while we're here. Come back downstairs when you're ready."

Austen put his suitcase on the floor. "I'll grab what I need as I go," he said and left me alone.

After I finished hanging up my clothes, I sat down in the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Mom's old room wasn't what I had pictured. The walls were a pale, light blue and bare. There was only one picture of Mom, which set on the desk. Other than that, there was no sign that she had lived here; no individuality.

Dad poked his head in the room, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just trying to picture Mom my age in this room." We walked back downstairs together.

"Jane," Mom said coming to my side, "this is Tracy Walters." She gestured towards a short lady with blue rimmed glasses. "Her husband is Chief Walters, who took over your grandfather's position when he retired. And this," she pointed to the other lady in the room, "is Sue Clearwater. She is an old family friend." I shook hands with each of them.

Mom and Dad sat down on the couch and continued talking to the ladies, sharing memories of Grandpa. Austen busied himself in the backyard, playing with his remote control truck. I excused myself and went to the kitchen, poured myself a glass of water, and sat down at the table. I looked around feeling lost and useless.

"How are you holding up?" Sue Clearwater asked as she sat down next to me.

"I'm okay, thank you." She was an attractive older lady with dark skin, silver hair, and kind eyes. "Were you close friends with Grandpa?"

She smiled. "I was. When my husband died twenty years ago, Charlie was there for me. He became like a second father to my son, Seth, and helped me out when my daughter got in trouble. That was Charlie, always helping people." She wiped a tear away and took in a shaky breath.

"I wish I could have known him better." I reached over and took her hand.

Her eyes met mine. "He would have liked that. Your mother was his world. It broke his heart when she left, but he knew she couldn't stay here forever." We sat in silence. "You're how old now? Sixteen?"

"I'll be seventeen next month. I'm a junior in high school."

"You dating yet?" she asked with a smile on her face.

I shook my head, "No. I had a couple of boyfriends when I lived in Jacksonville, but there isn't anyone interesting in North Pole." I thought of Edward and blushed. "Well, I say boyfriends. Dad wouldn't actually let me go on dates when I was younger. They were more like close guy friends." I started tracing a scratch on the table with my index finger. "What about Mom? Did she date a lot?"

"I'm not sure." There was hesitation in her voice. "I had a hard enough time keeping up with my own kids, much less someone else's."

There was some movement from the living room as Mom and Dad walked Mrs. Walters to the door. "I'll call you as soon as I find out when the funeral will be," Mom said. "Thank you so much for coming by." They closed the door, and Mom joined Sue and I at the table. Dad got her a glass of water, then leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Do you want me to go with you to the funeral home?" Sue asked, reaching over and taking my mom's hand.

Mom stared at the table. "Steven's going with me, thank you." She gloomily looked around the room. "I should have came back to visit. I know I should've…but I just couldn't."

"Bella, no one blames you. Charlie understood, we _all _did." They looked at each other. Mom slowly nodded her head as tears streamed down her face. Sue glanced behind her at Dad, and Mom shook her head. "The tribe will be at the funeral and sending things to the house."

My mother started hyperventilating. Dad quickly positioned himself behind her and started rubbing her back. Sue looked panicked. "She'll be okay in a minute or two," Dad explained. "Anxiety attack."

"S-sor-ry . . .I-I . . .w-w-will . . .b-be . . .o-o-kay . . ." Mom stared at the center of the table, trying to get a hold of herself. As Dad had said, after a few minutes, she was back to normal. After making sure she was okay, Dad left to check on Austen.

Sue looked worriedly at Mom. "Are you sure there is nothing I can do? Bella, you don't look good."

The corners of her mouth moved trying to form a smile. "Since we're going to be busy all day, if you don't mind, you can entertain Jane and Austen."

"Mom, we'll be fine." I didn't want to be someone's burden. "She doesn't want to baby-sit a sixteen and an eleven year old."

"I don't mind. I love having kids around. I keep my son's kids all the time. Makes me feel younger."

"Thanks, Sue. Let me wash my face before we leave." Mom went upstairs to the bathroom.

My parents left, and I went to the living room to watch television. My mother's graduation picture was hanging above the fireplace. She looked happy and very young. No doubt, she would take it down before more people started to come. The only pictures that were on display at our house were baby pictures of Austen and me.

Sue stood in the doorway, looking around the house. "You haven't had a tour of Forks, have you?"

I turned off the television. "No, but I would love one. Beats sitting around here." She handed me my coat and I grabbed Austen's as we left. We piled into Sue Clearwater's old truck, with Austen sitting in the middle, and left.

She drove by Forks High School where Mom graduated. Then Sue pointed out several shops, drove by the Police Station, Forks City Hall, the Lodge where Grandpa loved to eat, and Newton's Olympic Outfitters where Mom used to work, before heading out of town.

"Where are we going now?" Austen asked, excitingly leaning over me to look at the green forest and river as we passed by.

"I'm going to show you La Push. That's where I live. Your mother spent many a day here when she was a senior in high school. Your Grandpa was best friends with the Quileute Tribe."

"Real life Indians?" Austen asked, his brown eyes growing wide.

"Real life Indians." Sue smiled.

Their beach wasn't like the one I was used to in Florida. White sand was replaced with stones, and instead of blue water, it was a smoky gray color. It was beautiful in its own way. There were people surfing, and even more hanging out by the water.

We got out of the vehicle and Austen immediately took off towards the ocean.

"Austen! Do not go in the water," I yelled after him.

"Hey, Mrs. Clearwater!" I glanced behind me, and saw a young man with dark skin and black hair running in our direction. I turned my attention back to Austen to make sure he stayed out of trouble; he was my responsibility. "What brings you down to the beach?"

"Showing some visitors La Push. Aaron Uley, let me introduce you to Jane Watson."

"Nice to meet you, Jane." I turned distractedly to shake his hand. "Where are you from?"

"North Pole." My eyes started scanning the shore for Austen again.

"You one of Santa's helpers?" He laughed.

"Mm-hmm."

"Funny, I always thought of elves as being short people with pointy ears, and always having to wear green and red costumes."

"Yeah." I realized I hadn't been paying any attention to what he was saying. "I'm sorry. My little brother loves the water, but it looks too rough for him."

"Don't worry about it. We pay close attention who goes in. He'll be safe."

That time, his looks caught my eye. He was cute with jet black hair, bronze colored skin, he at least stood at 6'4, and muscular build. He was wearing a wet suit with the top part hanging at his waist. I couldn't help but notice his six pack abs. I felt my face turn red when he started chuckling, as if knowing I was admiring his physic.

My eyes met his dark ones. "I just feel responsible for him when Mom and Dad aren't around."

"I got two younger sisters of my own — I understand."

"I'll get Austen, we probably need to be heading back before your parents get home," Sue said, leaving us alone.

"North Pole in Alaska, right?" He walked over and stood next to me.

"Yes. My Grandpa just died, so we had to come for the funeral."

"You're Chief Swan's granddaughter?" he asked surprisingly. He said Grandpa's name with a tone of respect.

"Yes."

He chuckled, his black eyes sparkling in the twilight. "He always told me he would like me to meet you." My heart skipped a beat as he eyed me up and down. "Now I wish I would have insisted." I wanted to meet his gaze, but afraid if I did, I would start giggling. "Sorry for your loss. Chief Swan was cool. I remember going on a lot of fishing trips with him since I was a small kid. How come you didn't come around more often?"

"Um. . ." I remembered telling Edward about my mother's problems and how he had reacted. He said it wasn't for that reason, but I doubted that.

"I want to come back before we leave." Austen pushed past me and got back in the truck.

"If your mother will let you," Sue said, getting behind the wheel.

"Guess I'm leaving." I smiled at Aaron, "Nice meeting you."

"I'll see you at the funeral." I got in the truck and he shut my door. "Maybe Mrs. Clearwater can talk your mother into letting you come back. There are a lot of kids Austen's age he can play with, and I could show you around La Push. There is more to it than a great beach." He smiled, his teeth strikingly white in his tanned face.

"I'll try Aaron, but I'm not promising anything," Sue replied.

My parents still hadn't made it home by the time we returned from our trip around town. Sue and I sat on the couch to watch television, while Austen went upstairs to get his shower. We had just found something interesting, when Mom and Dad walked in the house carrying pizza.

"Thought you guys might be hungry," Dad said, walking into the kitchen.

"I told Steven if we didn't hurry home, Sue would have a meal cooked for an army." Mom smiled, "They were on their best behavior I hope."

"Yes. I drove them around town — hope you didn't mind. They were intrigued to see where their mother grew up, especially this one." Sue warmly put her arm around me.

"Oh, yes, our little Nancy Drew; always the inquisitive one. I keep telling her about what curiosity does to a cat, but she never listens."

Sue laughed as she got up from the couch and grabbed her things. "Sounds like her grandfather. When's the funeral?"

"Tuesday. There are still some details I have to take care of tomorrow. Then Wednesday, Steven and I will have to speak with a lawyer about the land and house." Mom sighed, "I didn't realize there was so much to do. It's overwhelming."

"Is Renee coming? Maybe she'll be able to help sort it all out."

Mom shook her head. "I talked to her Saturday night. She can't make the flight because of her arthritis and Phil has the flu."

"Seth would love to help. I'll call him tonight and see if he can meet with you Wednesday."

"No offense Sue, but I think I'll use someone from out of town."

Sue nodded and declined the offer to stay for pizza.

The steady sound of the rain beating down on the window pane put me to sleep. I awoke to the sound of Mom walking up and down the stairs. The door creaked open, and footsteps could be heard walking towards the closet. Then they moved over next to me by the window. I peeked through the slits of my eyes, as my mother checked the locks. She peered outside — what she was expecting to find I haven't a clue. My eyes quickly shut when she turned to look at me. I felt her cold hand brush my hair off my face. Then her lips touched my forehead. "Sweet dreams." She pulled the cover over me, then walked out of the room going back downstairs. I knew this routine. She would be up for hours checking every lock — looking out ever window. I let the rain engulf my thoughts and sing me to sleep.

The next day was busy with people going in and out of the house bringing food. Mom introduced me to a lot of people, but I got lost after the first dozen. A little after noon, Mom and Dad left to go check on things at the funeral home, leaving Austen and myself at the house. If anyone brought something while they were gone, I was to get their name and what they brought.

I had just sat down to read _Anna Karenina _by Leo Tolstoy, when someone knocked on the door. Moaning, I got off the sofa and went to answer it. Aaron Uley was standing on the other side, carrying a dish.

"Hi." He greeted me with a smile as he walked in and put the dish down in the kitchen. It was evident that he had been to Grandpa's house before. "There are a couple of more dishes out in the car." I followed and helped carry the other three dishes inside.

"Wow, your family didn't have to send so much."

"Oh, it's not all from my family. My mom made the corn casserole, Mrs. Ateara sent the potato salad, Mrs. Call sent the fruit medley, and Mrs. Black sent the German chocolate cake," he said, licking his lips.

"Are you their errand boy?" I laughed.

He took off his windbreaker and walked back towards the front door to hang it up on the coat rack. "I volunteered." He turned and smiled at me, "Where's your family?"

"My brother is upstairs playing his video game. Dad and Mom went to the funeral home."

He made his way into the living room, sat down on the couch, and picked up my book. "_Anna Karenina_… for school?" he asked flipping through the pages.

"No, for pleasure." I grabbed the book from him and put it back on the table. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

He chuckled. "It's my senior year, I only have to go half a day. I have a job after school."

"Where do you work?" I sat down on the other end of the couch.

"La Push No More." He grinned at the expression on my face, "It's a mechanic shop."

"Oh. Is that your forte?"

"Nah, Mr. Black was just nice enough to offer me a job. I help out with the books and ordering parts. You know, office work."

"Are you off today?"

"Technically — no. Mr. Black knows I'm here though. They were looking for someone to deliver the food and I volunteered. I'm the oldest of the kids, so they trust me more."

"_Are _you trustworthy?"

"No." We both laughed. He was easy to talk to; there were no complications to tie him down. I was instantly reminded of Edward Cullen back home, wondering what he and his family were doing. "…secrets."

"What?" Aaron had been talking, but my mind was in North Pole.

"Ugh," he pretended to stab himself in the heart and sank back against the cushions, "you wound my ego. Here I was, delivering my trust me speech, and you weren't listening to a word I was saying."

"Sorry." I blushed. "My mind tends to wander. Nothing against you. So, is it safe for me to be with you?"

"I don't bite — well — not hard. I was saying you can trust me with your life. Even though I want to play a bad boy, it's not in my blood. I'm too trustworthy. Everyone my age comes to me with their secrets and problems. Same thing with my dad and mom. Everyone always goes to our house or calls."

"You should feel honored that they hold you in such high regard."

"Oh, I don't mind. My only complaint is that it makes it hard to find a girlfriend. When you're being told all these secrets, you start learning things about people that you never thought were possible. There is no one at La Push whom I don't know. I'll have to go outside my tribe to find a girlfriend."

"I'm sure even the girls outside your tribe won't be perfect. There aren't any perfect people out there. Sometimes you just have to tell your brain to shut up and let your heart take control."

"That's hard to do."

"Not when you fall in love."

He picked up the book on the table and waved it in front of me. "Don't tell me you're one of those mushy love type girls?"

I snatched the book from him. "There is nothing wrong with being a romantic. I wouldn't classify me as the mushy type. I'm well aware that all stories don't have a happy ending. You might have ten heartbreaks before you find the person you belong with. I strongly believe that there is someone out there for each of us. The only problem, we sometimes build make-believe obstacles trying to make it too difficult. Our brain is thinking logically and mathematically, while our soul is screaming at us to use our five senses: taste, see, hear, smell, feel. Sadly, people let the best thing pass them by because of a fear that their mind has created. Either fear that it is the right one, or fear that the right one is still out there."

"What happens when you know you're the right one, but the one you are right for doesn't agree, or listens to her brain and gets someone else?"

"Then something even better comes along."

His dark eyes had a twinkle in them when he smiled. "Seems like you have it all figured out."

I shook my head, laughing. "I came up with that idea after reading so many novels where people screwed up at love. I haven't put my idea to the test, if that's what you're thinking. If I had it all figured out, I would be dating the man of my dreams."

"And who is that?" he asked, raising a perfect black eyebrow.

"Seeing as how I just finished reading _Ivanhoe_ — he is currently the man of my dreams. I'm sure in a few days it will be Konstantin Levin."

He chuckled. "Those are both fictitious characters, Jane."

I frowned and threw the book back on the table. "Yeah."

Austen came down and wanted something to eat. We walked in the kitchen and I named off the various dishes that had been brought to us. He wasn't a picky eater and decided to have a little of everything. I was surprised at the heaping amount of food Aaron piled on his plate. He was far from being pudgy, but if he ate like that all the time it was a wonder his body was in such good condition. Aaron was eating the way I had expected Emmett Cullen to eat. Once again my mind wandered back to the Cullens, picturing them at their table in the cafeteria with their tray of untouched food in front of them.

Austen and Aaron were in the middle of talking about some sort of video game when Mom and Dad walked in. Dad disappeared up the stairs and Mom joined us in the kitchen.

"More food?" she asked, eyeing the counter before she turned and noticed our guest at the table. She stood motionless, her eyes freezing on his face. "Who are you?" she whispered.

Aaron darted his eyes towards me. "Mom, this is Aaron Uley. He brought some food from some people."

"Uley?" Mom's knuckles turned white as she clutched the counter behind her.

Aaron stood up and walked towards her extending his hand. "Yes ma'am. My parents were good friends of your father's." Mom's eyes never wavered from his. Aaron dropped his hand when she made no movement to take it. "I brought some food from my mom, Mrs. Black, Mrs. Ateara, and Mrs. Call."

"Thank you." Mom turned and quickly went out the back door.

"Did I do or say something wrong?" Aaron looked at me puzzled.

"She's just probably tired." Having to come up with excuses for my mom's behavior was something I had grown accustomed to. "I guess you should probably leave. I'm sure your boss didn't expect you to spend all day over here." I led him to the front door and handed him his windbreaker.

"Who is this nice, young man?" Dad asked joining us at the bottom of the stairs.

"Aaron Uley, from La Push," Aaron said and extended his hand. Dad firmly shook it.

"You any kin to Sue Clearwater?"

"Yes sir, on my mom's side. I know Chief Swan's funeral is tomorrow, but after that, how long are you all going to hang around Forks?" Aaron asked, walking outside.

"Probably the rest of the week. We have a lot of paperwork to take care of."

"Do you mind if I take Jane and Austen down to La Push? You know, show them around; get them out of the house and have a little fun while they're here."

Dad looked over at me. "I don't think that will be a problem. Will Mrs. Clearwater vouch for you?"

Aaron gave that charming smile. "Everyone will vouch for me, sir. I'm a remarkable kid." He opened the door to his old Subaru and winked at me, "See you tomorrow."

"Like I've always said," Dad put his arm around my waist, "like mother, like daughter."

We walked inside and shut the door. "What did I do?"

"You didn't have to do anything. It just seems to be something that you Swan ladies have that cause men to swoon over you."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Dad, please. If I had men swooning over me, guys would be breaking the door down back home."

"They are intimidated by your self-confidence and intelligence."

Austen passed us on his way up the stairs. "They're curious to find out what kind of creature she is and what planet she hails from."

"That boy gone?" Mom said, entering from the backdoor.

"Yes, _Aaron _left." I replied, confused on why she seemed to not like him when she didn't even know him.

"Nice kid. Did you know he was kin to Sue Clearwater?" Mom nodded her head to Dad's question. "He wants to show Jane and Austen around La Push. I told him he could come by Wednesday; it will get them out of the house."

"They can't go to La Push!" Dad and I both turned and started at Mom's explosion.

"Sorry, honey. I didn't know that it was a bad place," Dad said cautiously.

"They can't be hanging out with kids there; it's not safe."

"Mrs. Clearwater already took us there," I argued. "It looked fine to me, and I enjoy hanging out with Aaron."

Mom turned white as a sheet. "She had no right. You are not allowed there, do you understand? You don't know those people."

"Grandpa Charlie was best friends with them, Mom. Aaron said he used to go fishing with him all the time."

"I don't want you around them and that is final," she shouted.

I looked over to Dad for some support. "You heard your mother."

I shook my head. "This is so ridiculous. I would ask why you think they are so bad, but I'm sure all you'll say is, 'trust me.' You never give a reason for anything. I'm sick and tired of people never giving me a reason for anything! How the hell am I suppose to trust anyone when they won't give me a reason to trust them?"

"Jane, your mother has had a hard day and tomorrow is going to be much harder. How about showing some respect that you were raised with, and apologize for your discourtesy."

I looked at the floor, not wanting to meet my mothers saddened eyes. "Sorry. I'm going to bed." I ran up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"Damn! Austen, how about moving your stupid suitcase before I break my neck," I growled sitting on the bed to examine my toe — making sure it wasn't broken.

"How about just watch where you're going." He was sitting at the desk, playing that stupid game of his. "What were you and Mom fussing about?"

"Don't worry about it." I got dressed for bed but was too wound-up to go to sleep. My mother's outburst kept replaying in my head. There was definitely fear in her eyes when Dad mentioned Austen and I going to La Push. Maybe she had just been worried about strong tides at the beach — but it seemed much more personal than that. I had always thought that Forks held the secret to my mother's past, but now it appeared that La Push held some secrets of its own and Aaron was my key. _"There is no one at La Push I don't know,"_ he had admitted earlier. I would be counting on that statement. There was no way around it; I was going to have to disobey my mother and find a way to La Push.


	11. Chapter 11 Off Limits

Chapter 11

Off Limits

**Author's Notes: **

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Morning of the funeral was somber. After my outburst from last night, I chose to stay in my mother's old room and read. However, it was difficult to concentrate on Leo Tolstoy's words with the sound of voices coming from downstairs. Grandpa's old house made every creak and groan audibly possible. I gave up on _Anna Karenina, _and stood next to the window watching the gray clouds roll across the sky.

There was a light knock at the door and Dad entered. "Are you going to be ready to leave in about an hour?"

"Yes."

He walked over and stood next to me at the window. "It's difficult for your mother to be here. We should respect the fact that she doesn't like to talk about her past." I silently nodded my head. "I'm sure she has a logical explanation for not wanting you and your brother at La Push," Dad continued with his lecture. "If she says it's dangerous, I believe her."

"Did Sue Clearwater or Aaron Uley look dangerous to you?"

"Did Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer? Aaron and Sue may be safe, but he's your age, Jane. He can't protect you or Austen if something were to happen." He turned me around to face him. "I'm sure your mother doesn't have a problem with Aaron personally. Why don't you talk to him today, see if he wants to come over tomorrow and rent a few movies while we're gone?"

"Dad, you didn't see how she looked at him when Aaron introduced himself. I thought her coming here might be therapeutic," I shook my head, "but it seems to be having the opposite effect."

Dad embraced me in a hug. "Her father just died, Jane. It's going to take her some time to get over it."

"Has she ever told you what happened to her?" Dad and I had never discussed Mom's condition. We shared a knowing glance every now and then, but never verbally communicated our concerns.

Dad sighed and shook his head. "All I know is what Charlie told me. Some bastard broke her heart and left her stranded in the woods."

"He must have been abusive. I can't see someone being paranoid just because their boyfriend or girlfriend broke-up with them."

"I have no idea. But I agree, there has to be more to it than what Charlie knew. Just take it easy on her, please. It would help if you let her know there aren't any hard feelings from last night."

I kissed Dad on the cheek and headed downstairs to find Mom. She was standing in front of the fireplace, staring at her graduation picture. I walked up behind her and put my arms around her.

"Sorry again about last night. I had no right to speak to you that way."

Mom patted my hand. "I understand your frustration." She turned and faced me, "You, Austen, and your father are the most important people in my life now. I couldn't live if something was to…"

"Mom, nothing is going to happen." I gave her a hug to reassure her. "Dad said that I can invite Aaron over tomorrow and watch a few movies. That will be fine."

"No." Mom shook her head fervently. "I don't want you around him, Jane."

I stared at her in shock. "I thought…Dad said you just didn't want me to go to La Push. So it _is _something personal against Aaron." I shook my head in disbelief, "You couldn't possibly know him, mother."

"I don't want you hanging out with any of the people in the Quileute Tribe. I don't have to explain myself."

"That's just it, Mom, you never explain yourself." She never bothered to offer an explanation for the things she did. Dad pacified her and never demanded to know the reasoning behind any of her actions.

"Are you two fighting again?" Dad asked getting in between us.

"She said Aaron can't come over. She doesn't want me around anyone from the Quileute Tribe."

"What's wrong with the Quileutes?" Dad asked looking at Mom. "I thought Sue Clearwater was a close friend of your father's?"

"Sue is — was." Mom closed her eyes and began rubbing her temples. "Not all in the tribe are bad — just some. Jane, we can stop by today and rent you and Austen a few movies, but I don't want any visitors over here."

"Incredible." I glared at her. "I think you've been hanging out with the people in North Pole for too long." I spun around and ran back up the stairs. I slung on my long, black skirt and a black turtleneck, cursing my mother under my breath. Feeling the need for fresh air, I grabbed my book laying on the bed, and went outside.

"Jane, check this out." Austen called me over to where he was playing with his remote control truck near the woods. He reached down and placed a couple of rocks on the back of his truck. Then he made a path in the woods like an obstacle course with twigs, small limbs, and leaves. He stood back and maneuvered the electric truck over the blockaded path without losing a single rock. The journey ended when he sent the truck crashing into a tree. "Is that cool, or what?" he said smiling at me.

"Or what," I said tousling his wind blown hair.

"Beats your dumb books." Austen didn't share the love of literature as the rest of the family.

"Yeah, I'm not going to argue with you on that one."

Dad called Austen and me when it was time to go. The funeral home picked us up in a limo and took us to the church. I had never seen so many cars before; they were lined up and down both sides of the street. Forks Police cars were there along with Washington State Patrol and Clallam County Sheriff. People were lined outside the church because there was no sitting room.

Dad held on to my mother's arm as led her inside the church. I took Austen's hand and followed, keeping my head down.

"Do I have to look?" Austen whispered to me as we approached the opened casket. I shook my head and motioned for him to sit down on the front pew.

I walked up to see my Grandpa Charlie one last time. I had never seen a dead body before. He looked very peaceful dressed in his police uniform. He had aged since the last time I had seen him. I remembered how happy he was when we moved to Alaska because we were closer to him and he planned to visit us more often. The tears fell from my face, dropping onto the side of the mahogany casket. Dad put his arm around me and led me to the pew. I sat next to Austen, squeezing his hand, thinking how life is too short and death is too final.

The preacher read from the Old and New Testament. Chief Walters said a few words and shared some stories about Grandpa's work ethics. An older man with the state police stood, sharing stories of his working days with Grandpa.

"I remember," he said smiling through his bright blue eyes, "twenty years ago when we had all those wolf attacks. Chief Swan was one hell of a leader. He helped lead the hunters into the woods and refused to stop until he was sure our community was safe."

There were quite a few people present from the Quileute Tribe, but none got up to speak. I wasn't surprised; Mom probably made sure they weren't allowed.

Afterwards, we followed the hearse to the graveyard. The ground was wet and soggy from all the rain. It was a picture perfect day for a funeral. The gray sky was cloudy and the wind was brutal. In just a few short minutes, it was over. People starting walking up giving their condolences. I ventured off, looking at other tombstones in the graveyard.

"Dreary day for a funeral, isn't it?" Aaron stood next to me. He looked handsome in his black dress pants, a black long sleeve dress shirt, and a tweed sports jacket.

"I think it looks perfect." A gust of wind knocked me sideways. Aaron reached out and grabbed my arm to steady me.

"You would think that, wouldn't you fantasy girl?" He smiled and continued to hold my arm. We walked in silence, looking at the tombstones.

"Can I have your number?" I blurted out. Aaron gave me an impish grin and I playfully swatted at him. "So I can call you tomorrow to pick Austen and me up when my parents leave."

"Why do you have to wait for them to leave?"

"I don't guess I do." I did, but he didn't have to know. "I'll call you when we're ready, okay?"

He paused looking quizzically at me. "Okay."

"Your mother is waiting on us in the car," Dad said, walking up and giving me his unapproved stare.

"Hello again, Mr. Watson." Aaron bowed his head towards my father.

"I hope there are no hard feelings about tomorrow."

Aaron looked at me. "I explained it to him as best as I could, Dad." I turned to Aaron, "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Your mother has made it clear that she doesn't want you hanging out with him," Dad said through clenched teeth as we walked towards the car.

"A phone call is not hanging out," I fussed back. "She doesn't want me around them. She didn't say I couldn't talk to him. I think a phone call is fairly safe."

Dad cut his eyes over at me. "Don't let your mother find out. If she does, I have no knowledge of it, understood?" I nodded my head in agreement.

Before getting in the car, I glanced back looking for Aaron. He was standing with a tall man that favored him from a distance, and a pretty lady. I smiled over at him and saw the older man shake his head. Then the lady turned around and my smile froze. There was a large scar on the side of her face making it disfigured. She tried to smile back, but her right side wasn't able to. I got in the car, but couldn't take my eyes off them.

"That's Aaron Uley's parents, Sam and Emily," Mom said following my gaze.

"Was she in a car accident?" I asked as we pulled away.

"No, it was a wolf attack."

"The same wolves that Grandpa hunted?" Austen asked turning around in his seat to look at Mrs. Uley.

"You can say that," Mom whispered and stared at me. I looked out the window avoiding her gaze.

The next day before Mom and Dad left, there was a debate on whether Austen and I should be left alone.

"Jane, be sure you don't answer the door for anyone," Mom advised me as she double checked the lock on the backdoor. "If you hear anything outside, please don't investigate it yourself. Call 911 and lock yourself and Austen in the bathroom until someone gets here." Dad had the door open waiting on her. She paused and shook her head, "Steven, I think you should stay home with them. I should be able to do all this legal stuff by myself."

"Honey, they will be fine. They've been left alone several times before and nothing has ever happened. I don't think Forks has a heavy crime rate."

"Mom, if it makes you feel any better, I won't let Austen play with his truck in the backyard."

Her brown eyes examined me, debating on whether she was making the right decision. "We're going to be gone most of the day, but we should be back in time for dinner. If you and Austen get hungry, there is plenty of food in the kitchen." Dad went to get the car warmed up and I followed her to the door. "Jane," she turned around pleading, "please don't do anything stupid. I know you think I'm being prejudice or… paranoid, but people aren't always what they seem. Sometimes, they can be deadly without meaning to hurt anyone." She wasn't making any sense; crazy people seldom do. "Please, stay inside the house and don't let anyone in?"

"Mom, Dad is going to be furious with you if you don't get going," I said pushing her out the door. I waved at them before shutting and locking the door behind me. My hand was on the phone, calling Aaron, before my parents pulled out of the driveway.

"Hello?" Aaron answered on the second ring.

"Hey, it's me, Jane. How soon can you pick us up?" There wasn't any time to waste.

He started laughing, "I was told that you probably weren't allowed to come to La Push. Is that what your father was apologizing for yesterday?"

The grapevine never ceased to amaze me. "Dad and I were able to talk Mom into giving in. As long as we don't go in the water everything will be fine."

"I didn't think it was the water that was the problem. I was told it was the Quileute who were the issue."

My blood turned to ice. "What have you heard?"

Aaron was quiet for a moment. "Your mother has some problems with my people. My parents were actually arguing about it last night."

"Your parents were arguing about my mother?"

"Yeah, strange I know. I — hang on," Aaron whispered. There was the sound of people talking in the background.

"Aaron," a male voice boomed, "I need you to run to Forks. There is a blue Sedan broke down on Bogachiel Way, down from the hospital. Here's the tire they're going to need. You do know how to change a tire, right?" Laughter roared in the background.

"I've never done it before, but I'm sure I can figure it out," Aaron said.

"Sure, sure. That smart mouth of yours is going to get you in some deep trouble one of these days. Get off the phone, service truck is ready for you."

"Jane, I've go to go." My hopes sank. His parents had gotten to him too. "You won't be embarrassed riding in an old service truck, will you?"

I smiled. "Beggars can't be choosey. We'll be waiting when you're finished."

Austen was upstairs playing his game. I told him Aaron was coming to pick us up, but he couldn't tell Mom or Dad anything. "It's a secret, just between you and me, okay?"

"I'll store it for blackmail, how does that sound?"

"Not good, but I'll take what I can get." Lately, compromise appeared to be my middle name.

We patiently waited for Aaron to arrive. I had never deliberately disobeyed my parents. Guilt started weighing in on my heart, knowing that what I was doing was wrong. If something did happen to Austen and me, my parents would never forgive themselves.

I jotted down a note just in case we weren't back in time. It read: _Don't worry, we aren't dead. Sorry, but my teenager beat my adult and we went to La Push. Promise, we won't go in the ocean. Love you and I will accept whatever punishment you bestow upon me. Jane._

Austen jumped up and ran outside at the sound of a roaring engine coming from the front of the house. Aaron was sitting in an old, white wrecker with La Push No More on the side. I quickly locked the door behind me before I changed my mind, and jumped in the truck next to Austen.

"You know," Aaron said pulling away from the house, "we are going to be in so much trouble."

"Oh yeah," I responded as the butterflies flew around in my stomach. "I'll probably spend the rest of my teenage life behind closed doors."

"Or in a casket," Austen said.

We took the same path Sue Clearwater had taken on our first trip to La Push. We turned before we got to the beach and headed down a dirt road. Aaron got to the end of the road then turned down a small two trail that led into the woods.

"Where are we going?" I was afraid my mother had been right all along. If Aaron wanted to kill us, this would be the perfect spot; no one would ever find us.

"My house. School was out today, so Mom and Mrs. Clearwater are watching some of the kids while their parents are at work. It's not a problem, most of them are my sisters' friends. I figured Austen could hang with them."

"Are there any video games?" Austen asked staring intensely in the woods.

"Oh yeah." Aaron pulled up to a beautiful, but humble wood framed house. There were kids running around everywhere.

"How many kids are there?" I asked amazed.

"I don't know; ten or fifteen." He jumped out and jogged over to open my door. Austen ran on ahead and instantly joined in the game of freeze tag. "Come on in, I'll introduce you to Mom," he said taking my hand and leading me to the front door.

"Aren't you going to be in trouble for getting me?"

"Probably."

He opened the door and the smell of food invaded my senses. The house was painted on the inside in a rustic brown color. There was a wall filled with pictures, which hung in a pattern like a family tree. I noticed Aaron's senior portrait at the bottom. Just above his was a wedding picture of a man that could have been Aaron's clone, and the same attractive lady I had seen at the funeral. They were smiling at each other, but her scared side was turned away from the lens.

"I'm afraid Mom's going to run out of room sooner or later," Aaron said standing by me. "It's our family tree."

He grabbed my hand again to lead me into another room. There was a large painting of a pack of wolves, which hung on the opposite wall from the family tree. It seemed ironic that his mother would want a picture of a wolf in her house, knowing that was the cause of her deformity.

Their kitchen was huge. The bright yellow and red colors made it warm and welcoming. There was a petite, young lady with a baby in her arms, sitting at the table while another lady stood at a stove with her back to us.

"Mrs. Clearwater, this is Jane Watson, Chief Swan's granddaughter."

"Hello," her voice was quiet.

"Aaron, aren't you suppose to be at work?" Emily Uley turned away from her cooking to glare at Aaron.

"I am at work, Mom. Mr. Black sent me to Forks for a flat tire. I've got to get back to the shop. I brought Jane's younger brother, Austen, to stay with the rest of the kids. He shouldn't be a problem. I'll take them back later."

"Jane, does your mother know where you are?"

It was hard not stare at Mrs. Uley; it was like looking at two different people in the same body. The deep, pink scars made the right side of her face look horrifying.

"Um…I left a note. She and Dad had to go out of town for some business and won't be back until later tonight."

"Aaron," she kept her eyes on me, "be sure and have them back at their house before sundown." She pointed the spatula she was holding at Aaron, "Your father is going to kill you when he finds out about this."

We left Austen playing football with the other kids, and headed towards the city near the beach.

"Why aren't you supposed to be around me?" I asked watching the green forest as we passed by.

"Because of your mother. My mom called her an ungrateful bitch." Aaron glanced apologetically my way.

"Do you know why?"

"Something about us having to save her life one too many times. I don't know, Dad seems to have more symphony for her than Mom."

"Were they friends of hers when she lived here?"

"I wouldn't say they were friends, but they knew her. I think your mother dated Mr. Black. He's pretty cool, you could probably talk to him about it." My mom dated Aaron's boss. Surely he wasn't the ex-boyfriend that had caused her so much pain. Coming to La Push was going to be worth the punishment, whatever the cost.

La Push No More had vehicles waiting to be seen outside and inside the shop. Aaron pulled the wrecker around back and parked where the sign was posted Service Truck Only.

"What the hell took you so long to change a tire?" A large man started our way as Aaron was getting out of the truck. The man looked annoyed, shaking his head at Aaron. "You've got a lot of growing up to do. What did you do, take the scenic route?" His eyes zoomed in on me as I shut the door to the truck. He stopped in his tracks, quickly looking at Aaron for an explanation.

"Sorry, Paul — Mr. Hudson. I made a pit stop on the way back." The man kept his dark eyes focused on me as I slowly moved behind Aaron. "I picked up Jane and her brother, Chief Swan's grandkids. I left Austen with Mom."

"Huh," a tight smile formed on Paul's face, "that explains why Sam's here."

"Dad's here?" Aaron's eyes darted around the back parking lot. "Why is Dad…" He turned his head sideways, catching a glimpse of me. "Oh."

"Yeah, you've got a lot of growing up to do." Paul laughed. "He's inside. I would suggest the young lady not accompany you. Some words aren't meant for ladies to hear," he bellowed as he turned around and walked back into the shop.

"Jane, you might want to wait for me out front." Aaron chewed on his bottom lip.

"Am I _that _off limits?"

"It's not you, it's your mother." Aaron looked at me and gave a half-hearted smile. "If I'm not out front in an hour — run." My mouth dropped open as he slowly walked inside.

"Run where?" I whispered to myself. There was no place to run but woods and water.

I sat on a bench, which was placed next to a drink machine, out in the front of the shop. People went in and out, staring at me as they passed. The sound of machinery drowned out the voices inside. Salty ocean air was covered up with the smell of gasoline, rubber, and oil.

"Have you been helped?" a tall man asked. He was standing in front of me wearing an oil stained pair of jeans and a dirty t-shirt with La Push No More on the front. He smiled, wiping his large, greased hands with a towel.

"I'm waiting on someone, thank you."

"You want something to drink while you wait?" He reached up, wiping beads of sweat off his forehead, leaving a grease line. He must have been working hard to be sweating in such cool weather.

"I don't have any money on me," I said, realizing it was stupid to leave home without some cash.

"My treat." He walked over to the machine and pounded his fist on the side. A drink came shooting out at the bottom. "Hope you like diet," he said handing me the cold soda.

"I'll drink it, thanks."

"Are you from out of town? I haven't seen you around before."

I swallowed the cold drink gratefully. "I just came for my grandfather's funeral. I'm waiting on Aaron Uley." I took another sip of my drink. "I think he's getting cussed out by his father for bringing me here."

The man didn't say a word. I continued sipping my soda, becoming antsy. When the man didn't move, I glanced up to see what was wrong. He was staring at me with dark brown eyes. I started to feel like I had stepped into the _Twilight Zone_. All the stares and warnings had started taking effect on me.

"I'll just wait on him down the road. I'm sure he won't be too much longer." I quickly got to my feet.

"Wait!" He reached out and grabbed my arm. I shrieked and tried to pull free, but his grip tightened. My mind raced, trying to think of a way to escape. The only weapon I had was the soda can in my free hand. I swung the can, along with the drink, towards his face with all the energy I could muster.

"Damn," he groaned, letting his grip loosen. I was able to pull my arm free and took off running at full speed down the road.

"_If I'm not out front in an hour — run," _Aaron's words repeated in my mind.

Run. If I went towards the woods, chances were I would never come out. The ocean was my best chance of escape and survival. _Now I know why Mom never came home_, I thought as my feet slapped the pavement.

"_People aren't always what they seem." _My mother had tried to warn me earlier. I finally understood how curiosity killed the cat. My determination to find the skeletons in Mom's closet was going to be the death of me.

I made it to the rocks, which led down to the beach. I didn't have much further to go until I would be in the water. Once I got in, I would just swim until the Coast Guard found me. The water was rolling up on the shore, waiting for me to enter. I could see some people surfing while others were laughing, shaking their soaked heads. The water was getting closer and closer.

"Jane!" Aaron's voice called out to me.

I had no intention of slowing down and letting them catch up to me. My feet kept moving forward over the rocks towards the ocean. Then it happened. My foot landed awkwardly on a large stone and I heard a pop. I fell with my arms stretched forward as pain shot up my leg. My jaw jarred as it hit the ground. I looked ahead and could see, smell, and hear the ocean — so close. I got on my hands and knees, and started crawling, refusing to give up.

"_If you believe Zombies could exist, why do you think you wouldn't be able to survive?" _

"_You've never seen me run." _

Giggles erupted from out of my mouth as I remembered the conversation Edward and I had on the way to Fairbanks. My hand reached forward to move again, when a sizable shadow fell on the ground in front of me.

"You are so much like your mother, it isn't funny." I rolled over on my back and gazed at the man with the dirty shirt and oil stained jeans. He towered over me, shaking his head. "Now, we're all in trouble." He bent down and easily scooped me off the ground, carrying me back towards town.


	12. Chapter 12 Lost Treasure

_**Chapter 12**_

_**Lost Treasure**_

_**Author's Notes: **_

_**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**_

_**JWPOV**_

"Is she okay?" Aaron's voice was panicked_. _

"She'll be fine." That voice belonged to the man who brought me back to the shop. "She's got some scratches on her hands, tore her jeans, and bruised her face pretty good."

"Shit! I don't know what she was thinkging."

"I don't know what _you _were thinking." That voice I didn't recognize. There had been so many faces peering at me as I was carried into the office of La Push No More — that voice could have belonged to any one of them.

"Dad, I just wanted to take her mind off the funeral. The first time I saw her with Mrs. Clearwater, she looked pale and stressed. I was trying to help," Aaron said.

"She's probably like her mother and always looks pale and stressed."

"Paul, go find something to do," the first man said, then a door slammed. "Aaron, you shouldn't have brought her here. We have to take her and her brother home. Maybe there is a way to keep her mother from knowing where she has been."

"I've got to get back to work. Aaron, you're grounded until further notice. Jacob, I'm sorry about this."

"Don't worry about it, Sam."

My eyes fluttered open when I heard the name Jacob. Aaron told me that Mom used to date his boss, Jacob Black. He was the man I desperately wanted to talk to. He was the man I had run from earlier.

"She's awake," Aaron said jumping up from a stool close by the door. The other two men turned and stared at me.

"Aaron," Jacob ordered, "go get her some water." Aaron ran out the door. "How do you feel?" Jacob didn't make any sudden movements in my direction. I glanced from him to the other man in the room.

"Groggy. Stupid." I tried to sit up on the couch, but the sudden churn in my stomach made me have second thoughts.

"I'm Jacob Black, this is Aaron's father, Sam Uley. You met his wife, Emily, earlier."

"Hey," I said trying to smile at Sam.

"When you're able to get back on your feet, Aaron will take you and your brother back home." Sam exchanged glances with Jacob. "Glad to see you're awake — you had us worried for a second. It was nice to meet you, Jane. Please, don't tell your mother I said hello," Sam said as he walked out the door.

I shifted my eyes back towards Jacob. He was leaning against the desk with his arms crossed, studying me. Aaron came running back in with a glass of water and handed it to me.

"What were you thinking?" he said kneeling next to me. "I kept calling your name, but you wouldn't stop. Mr. Black said you smashed a drink can against his face."

"I'm sorry." I stared into my glass of water. "I don't know what I was thinking." I couldn't tell them the truth — that I was scared they were going to throw me into a holding chamber and experiment on me.

"It's my fault," Jacob said. "I shouldn't have grabbed you like I did. It startled me that Bella would allow her daughter to come to La Push." The look he gave Aaron reminded me why I was terrified of Jacob to begin with. "I didn't know that you snuck here."

The door flew open and Paul stuck his head in. "Sorry to interrupt, but Mrs. Godfrey wants her car back. I need someone to follow me and give me a ride back."

"Aaron, do you think you can manage that without screwing up?"

Aaron bowed his head and stood. "Yes, sir."

"When you get back, you can take Jane and her brother home," Jacob called out to him as he left room.

Jacob continued to glare at me while I sipped my water. The blinds on the window were closed, blocking the view of the street. The sound of traffic and voices could be heard through the crack. I glanced around Jacob's office. There were certificates hanging on the wall behind the desk. A painting on the far wall, next to the filing cabinets, caught my eye.

"Aaron's parents have that same painting at their house." Jacob followed my eyes to the wolves painting.

"A group of us have that same painting. Someone on the reservation painted it and had copies made for us. It was a gift years ago."

"Aaron told me you used to date my mother."

Jacob shook his head, chuckling. "That boy hears too much."

"Did you?" I pulled myself up to a seating position, fighting the constant pounding in my head.

He stopped laughing and clenched his jaw shut. "If your mother wanted to tell you about me she would've. She's the one you should be asking, not me." He pushed away from the desk and headed towards the door. "Aaron will be back shortly to take you home. I don't have to tell you not to say where you've been."

"She doesn't tell us anything." Jacob paused with his hand on the door. "Everyone seems to know why I'm not supposed to be here _but _me. I don't understand what she has against this place. Grandpa was close friends with the Quileute, right?"

Jacob sighed, turned, and slowly walked back to sit behind his desk. He clasped his large hands together and stared at me. "Charlie was a hell of a man. He and my father were best friends. However, there were some things that Charlie didn't know." Chill bumps ran up and down my arms. Finally, I was going to get some answers, but I was terrified of what I might hear.

"When your mother started hanging out at La Push, there were a lot of wolf sightings." Jacob pressed his lips together, his forehead creased in concentration. "We didn't report it to the authorities because we consider wolves a sacred animal. We didn't want them killing wolves on our land. Your mother had an encounter with a pack of wolves that I imagine still haunts her to this day. She doesn't want to take a chance of the same thing happening to you or your brother."

"Mom said that Mrs. Uley was attacked by a wolf. Was Mom there when it happened?"

"No, that happened before your mother started hanging out here."

"That was a long time ago. Do you still have a problem with wolves?"

Jacob looked over at the painting on the wall. "Not too much. We keep a check on it. Occasionally, some will pop up." A slow smile formed on his face.

"What about my other question?" Jacob gave me a confused look. "Did you and my mother date?"

"Sure, sure. We dated a few months; broke up after I proposed. It wasn't long after that, she moved to Florida."

"You proposed to my mother?" It was hard to see her with anyone but my father.

Jacob abruptly got up from his chair, and quickly walked towards the door. "I have to check on the guys and make sure everything is running smoothly. No offense, but I can't sit around and chat all day."

"Can I wait for Aaron on the beach?" I jumped off the sofa, and pain ignited in my left ankle. I fell back down on the couch grabbing my foot.

"You've got a bad sprain," Jacob said with a concerned look on his face. "I don't think it's broken, but you need to stay off of it as much as possible."

"I just wanted to pick up a few stones to take back to Alaska with me," I explained, rubbing my ankle. I looked down and my ankle was three times the size it should have been.

Jacob watched me closely. "Maybe Aaron will volunteer to help you before you leave. In the meantime, keep your foot up." He helped position my foot on a small pillow. He opened the blinds so I would watch the people walk by, then left. There was nothing for me to do but think about what I had learned.

I went over the story Jacob had told me about Mom's close encounter with a pack of wolves. That would explain why she didn't want me at La Push, but it didn't explain why she never wanted to visit Forks. It explained nightmares, but not unreasonable actions like my mother had of locking windows and doors, or jumping at the sound of a doorbell, just to name a few. If a wolf wanted to go in a house, locks wouldn't be able to hold it back. Of course, it made more sense than Grandpa's excuse of being abandoned in the woods by your ex. I had concluded my findings that Mom only suffered from OCD when Aaron walked through the door.

"You're looking a little better," he said smiling. Aaron took the glass of water from me and placed it on the desk. "Mr. Black told me you wanted to go down to the beach and collect stones."

"If it's going to be too much trouble don't worry about it. I got you in enough hot water already today."

Aaron snickered. "It wasn't like you held a gun to my head." He walked over to the filing cabinet and pulled out a small tin container. "We can put your stones in here. It won't hold much, but it's better than nothing."

"How am I going to get down there?" I pointed to my swollen ankle.

"I've got these." I laughed as Aaron slapped his biceps.

"You're going to carry me all the way to the beach, then carry me all the way back?"

"Ah, you mock my strength," he said in a terrible Russian accent. He reached down and picked me up, "I could carry you all the way back to my house with ease." I giggled despite the fact that my foot and head were throbbing.

Aaron apologized profusely when he misjudged the width of the office door and banged my head on the way out. I talked him into letting me hobble outside, then he could carry me the rest of the way to the beach. Once we were out in the open, he scooped me up again, and headed towards the beach catching a few glances and smiles from passers-by.

Gently, he set me down on a log close to the ocean, facing me towards the waves. Aaron took the tin can from his pocket, and began picking up stones. I watched the tide roll in and crash on the shore. The sound of the ocean brought back memories of Florida. A feeling of peculiarity passed through me as I sat thinking how a few years ago, while I was looking out across the ocean in Florida, north of me the Cullens could have been looking out over the same ocean. I wondered what they were doing back in North Pole; if they missed my company.

"I was right," Aaron's voice interrupted my thoughts, "it doesn't hold much." He sat next to me and handed over the small container. "The lid won't close because of that huge rock. You can toss it back if you don't want it."

"No, it's perfect." I looked over the stones he had selected. Aaron did excellent work, picking up ones of different colors. The large one was smooth, dark gray with a tint of blue. I would use it as a paperweight back home. The rest would be stored as a keepsake from La Push in memory of Grandpa and Aaron.

"Did you ask Mr. Black about your mother?" Aaron asked, picking my injured leg up and placing it up on his knee.

"They dated and he even proposed to her." I looked over at Aaron to get his reaction, but he didn't seem shocked to hear this information. "Which you already knew, apparently."

"I heard the story from Paul on the way back from Mrs. Godfrey's. Paul said Mr. Black was a fool to fall for your mother because she had already been tainted."

"Tainted? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively.

Aaron shook his head. "I asked him what he meant by it, but he wouldn't say another word." He rubbed my shin. "Look, I wouldn't listen much to what Paul says. He's hot headed and ill tempered. He probably tried to date your mother and she turned him down." Aaron's words of reassurance did little to appease my agitation.

"Tell me, what's it like living in North Pole?" Aaron asked, delicately changing the subject. "Have you visited Santa's workshop?"

I chortled. "Dad took us our first year there. You should come visit for Christmas break."

"I'm off limits, remember."

We watched the ocean and talked about high school life.

"I couldn't imagine having to pick up and leave everyone I've known." Aaron sympathized with me having to move.

"It was hard." The ache for the closeness I had with my olds friends continued to stay with me, but that was a different life. "It's getting better," I said, once again thinking of the Cullens, and surprised by how much I missed them. "In fact, I can't wait to go back."

"Is my company that terrible?" Aaron mocked a hurt expression.

"You were the best thing about this trip." My cheeks blushed. That wasn't the first time I had bared my soul to a practical stranger. "Aaron, you've been a good friend to me. Thank you."

A faint twinkle touched the depths of his dark eyes. "Trust me when I say it was no trouble."

"It's getting late, we should probably be heading back. Mom said they would be back before dinner. I don't want her showing up before I get there and we still have to pick up Austen."

Aaron rose, took my hands, and pulled me up towards him. In one easy motion, he had me in his arms and carried me back towards town. He filled the silence talking about life in La Push. As we neared the shop, my stomach started tightening in knots. The mini van my father had rented sat visibly in front of La Push No More.

"Oh no." I could barely lift my voice above a whisper.

Aaron slowed down as my arm constricted around his neck. "What's wrong?" he asked with deceptive calm.

"My mother…" My voice trailed away. There was no escaping now; Mom knew of my treachery.

As my mind raced to think of what to do next. Raised voices were heard coming from inside. Aaron slowly continued to walk towards the entrance, holding me closer to him. A door slammed, and my mother came running out of the building. She stopped in her tracks as her face paled with anger. Jacob came to a sudden stop behind her.

"Jane," Mom said in a strained, steady voice, "do you know how terrified your father and I were when you and Austen weren't at the house?"

"I left a note."

There was a sharp edge in Mom's laughter. "We found your note while I was on the phone with Chief Walters." She shook her head in dismay. "I don't know what has gotten into you. I explained, very clear, how dangerous it was for you to be here, yet there you are. Not only did you put yourself at risk, but you dragged Austen along."

"It's not dangerous here anymore, Mom. They haven't had a wolf sighting since —" My explanation faltered when Mom started gasping and shaking.

"Bella, chill out." Jacob placed his hands on her shoulders. "I told Jane why you didn't want them here; about the problems with the wolves when you used to live here." Mom seemed to relax a little. "Why don't you come inside and sit down. I'll send Aaron to get Austen." Jacob turned Mom around and guided her inside.

"Can I ride with you?" I asked Aaron as he set me down on the bench in front of the office window. Through it, I watched Jacob lead Mom to the couch.

"You better stay here where she can keep an eye on you." Aaron chuckled. "Paul was right; your mother does look pale and stressed." He took off in a jog around the back of the building. I was staring at my tin full of rocks when an old Subaru went flying from behind the garage and took off down the street.

I turned sideways on the bench and placed my left leg up. The streets were less crowded and the machinery noise had died down. My head rested on the window as I watched and listened to the muffled voices of Jacob and Mom through the crack .

"I should have sent her and Austen back right after the funeral," Mom said.

Jacob grabbed two cups of coffee, handed one to Mom, and sat down next to her on the couch. "Bell, I haven't phased in seventeen years. Sam has been keeping a close eye on Aaron, but he hasn't shown any signs."

"I see. I leave and problem solved."

"When _they _left our problem was solved," Jacob answered back bitterly.

Mom shook her head. "There was still — V-Vic-t-tor…"

"Who we ran off," Jacob said in a softer voice. He placed a hand on Mom's back to comfort her.

"She most likely saw that I wasn't worth the risk. I didn't matter to him anymore, so killing me wouldn't vindicate James's death."

"Sure, sure. Her leaving had absolutely nothing to do with me nicking her during our last meeting."

Mom shook her head. "Jacob, you and your friends shouldn't have had to fix my screw up."

"He pulled you in. He made you think you were in love. That's what they do, Bella. They manipulate your mind."

"I wanted to be just like them. I would have done anything to be able to be with him forever." Mom rested her head on Jacob's shoulder. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Jake. I just had to get away. Everything reminded me of him: school, my room, my truck, the hospital, the woods, you…" Mom raised her head. "I had to try for a chance at a normal life — to break his spell — and I couldn't have done that with you."

"By the stories I got from Charlie, you didn't get it without me either."

Mom stared into his eyes. Slowly, a tear ran down her face. "When I met Steven…I was a mess." Mom gave a short laugh. "I wasn't sure where I belonged. There was no one to talk to about what I went through. You were the only one I could open up to, but you were biased." Jacob started to cut her off, but her look stopped him, and his head dropped in defeat. "You had a right to be, I understand that.

"Steven came to me at the right time. He was a breath of fresh air. I remember the first time I went to pieces on him. We were in a bookstore on our second date around Halloween. When we walked out and there were two kids dressed like vampires chasing each other. I started hyperventilating, crying, trying to shake the images from my mind." Mom turned her face from Jacob and stared into her coffee cup. "Steven just held me. He didn't ask any questions; he didn't say anything. I apologized to him when he took me home. He walked me to the door, smiled, and told me it wasn't my fault the night had to end. I was surprised when he called the next day. It felt…right to be able to hold hands with someone without them freezing you or making you sweat. It was normal, Jacob. Even though I wasn't normal to him because of my sometime sudden break downs, Steven was normal to me. We talked about literature, politics, old movies, a family, our future. There were no secrets I had to keep from Charlie or Renee. I could be myself around him."

"So why didn't you ever come home? Was it because you were afraid of me?"

"I was never afraid of you, Jacob. I still love and care about you — I always will. If it hadn't been for you, I would be dead or in a mental hospital. You saved my life, but Steven gave me back life. I couldn't come home because I was afraid that all the normalcy that I had been trying so desperate to hold onto would slip through my fingers. Then after Jane was born I was terrified. Knowing what was out there — I swore I would never endanger my family, yet here we are."

"We would never hurt your family, Bella."

"Not intentionally, I know, but there are more sinister things out there Jacob." There was a moment of silence before Mom spoke again. "I was wrong to treat Aaron the way I did. Sam and Emily were always kind to me. I assumed that things were the way they used to be. I didn't want Jane hurt. I know how compelling you Quileute men can be," Mom said giving him a sly smile. "I didn't want to take any chances of her getting too close."

"Sure, sure. Aaron knows how to charm the ladies. They make a cute couple. Reminds me of us when we were that age."

"Yeah, except she doesn't have all the extra baggage I had."

"Right, but she is just as clumsy and strange as you were." Her eyebrow rose with curiosity. "She smashed a can into my face and took off for the beach. I wondered then what kind of scary stories you had told her about us. Anyway, she slipped on the rocks, sprained her ankle real good, and bruised her jaw."

"Did she say why she ran? I haven't told her, or anyone else, anything. Who would believe me anyway."

"She said she didn't know."

"With her imagination there is no telling what she was thinking. Jane practically raised herself the first six years of her life. Renee helped when she was born, as much as what Renee could. I was going to various shrinks trying to erase my memories. No telling what she thinks of me." Mom laughed. "I know she thinks I'm crazy."

"I've always thought you were crazy, even after I knew what was going on."

"How has your life been? Shop looks like it's doing well. How is the family?"

"The twins will turn eleven in February." Jacob got off the couch, grabbed a picture off his desk, and handed it to Mom. "Nicole found out last month she's pregnant. I just hope it's not twins again. Bryan and Bree have aged me."

Mom smiled and handed the picture back to Jacob. "Good thing you married a younger woman. Does she know?"

Jacob shook his head. "Remember, that's against the rules."

Car doors slammed nearby, and I turned around on the bench to avoid getting caught eavesdropping.

"Your mom is inside," Aaron told Austen as they approached me. "Go in and let her know you're here. I'm sure she's ready to leave."

Austen paused before going in the shop and looked over at me. "What happened to you? Did you get in a fight?"

"I fell."

Austen didn't say a word, only nodded his head and went inside. Aaron walked over and sat down by me.

"What have you been able to find out?" he whispered. I looked over at him, puzzled by his question. "I know you were listening." His head made a quick movement towards the window.

My cheeks flamed for getting caught. "Seems like there was another guy involved before Mom started dating Mr. Black," I whispered. "He must have been evil; Mr. Black hates him. You should have heard the tone of his voice when he was talking about him." I shuddered recalling the ferocity Jacob used when he referred to Mom's ex. "I don't understand it, but there was someone after my mom who Mr. Black, your father, and some others ran away."

"She hates us for that?" There was a critical tone in his voice.

"No, she doesn't hate any of you. She just kept talking about wanting to have a normal life, and she couldn't have one as long as she stayed here." I shook my head slowly. "It all has to be connected to her ex-boyfriend, the jerk that abandoned her in the woods." Grandpa Charlie had been right.

"You could always ask." I threw my head back and roared with laughter. Aaron hesitatingly joined me.

"I'm glad you find this amusing," Mom said as she stepped outside. Jacob and Austen stood behind her. "You're grounded for the rest of the year."

I looked down at the gravel, and accepted by punishment. Aaron reached over and squeezed my hand, offering any support he could.

"Jacob, will you help me get her in the van? I wonder if we need to swing by the hospital on the way home and have her ankle looked at?" Mom knelt down to examine my huge foot.

"It's not broke — just sprained real bad," Jacob said.

Aaron stood up. "I'll carry her to the van."

"Thank you, Aaron." A thoughtful smile tugged at the corners of Mom's mouth as she exchanged glances with Jacob.

They turned and walked towards the van, leaving Aaron and me alone. Aaron smiled as he picked me up and took his time getting me to the van. I got in the front seat and buckled up. He leaned inside the vehicle, his arms resting on the roof of the van.

"You still have my number, right?" I smiled and nodded. "Have you named one of those rocks after me yet?"

"Oh, brother." Austen made a gagging sound from the back seat.

Aaron and I both looked over and watched Jacob and Mom embrace.

"Will you at least email me?" Jacob asked as Mom got in the van.

"Sure, sure," Mom replied, a broad grin forming on her face.

Jacob laughed and shut her door. "Say bye Aaron, they have to go home."

Aaron's eyes lingered on my face. "Maybe I'll take a trip this Christmas to see Santa's workshop."

I swallowed and bit my lip. "I'll call you. Thank you." He bent down and quickly gave me a kiss on the cheek before shutting my door.

I watched Aaron from my side mirror as Mom pulled away. The drive home would have been torturous if Austen hadn't been there. He filled the void with constant chatter about his time at the Uleys. He made it a point and almost seemed proud of himself to have two girls fighting over him: Aaron's oldest sister, Olivia, and Mr. Black's daughter, Bree.

When we pulled up to the house, Dad was waiting outside. He opened my door and gave me his disapproving frown while picking me up and helping me inside. He and Mom examined my foot and determined that a hospital visit wouldn't be necessary. They could stop by a drug store and pick up and ankle brace and crutches if I needed them.

Mom gave me some pain pills and doctored the scratches on my hands. She looked at my face, frowned, and shook her head. "It looks like you've been to battle."

"It doesn't hurt," I yawned feeling the effects of the days traumatic events catching up to me.

"I'll take you upstairs," Dad said, offering me his hand.

"I can manage." I let him help me up and walk me to the bottom of the staircase. "Goodnight. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble." My parents didn't respond and I turned, taking the stairs one at a time.

I went into the bedroom, flipped on the light, and started across the room to safely hide my stones in my suitcase. I walked towards the closet, counting the rocks in my tin so I would know if Austen took one. Austen's suitcase was still laid open in the middle of the floor and I went falling down over it, spilling my rocks.

"Jane!" Dad called up to me.

"I'm okay," I yelled back down.

After cursing Austen with every word I could think of, I started crawling around, gathering my rocks. I got close to the closet, and noticed one of the floorboards was loose. I ignored it and continued collecting my spilt treasure.

When I had retrieved them all, I grabbed my sleep clothes and hobbled to the bathroom to change. I started towards the closet to put away my dirty clothes, when the creak underneath my foot caused me to pause and look down. I sighed and limped to my carryall case to dig out a nail file. "Forks is making me crazy," I mumbled to myself as I got down on the floor and started prying the board up.

It wasn't easy, but eventually I was able to get the board to where I could grab it and pull it up. I peered inside, brushed the cobwebs away, and pulled out an envelope and a CD case from its hiding place. I examined the clear case looking at the blank silver CD inside. It would have to wait until I got home. The only CD player in Grandpa's house was in the kitchen, and until I knew what was on the CD, I wasn't going to play it aloud.

I put the floorboard back in place, got up, and dropped the CD into my suitcase. I grabbed the envelope off the floor and sat down on the bed facing the window. Cautiously, I opened it, not knowing what I expected to find.

There were two round trip airline tickets for Jacksonsville that were dated twenty years ago. My heart started beating faster. This was my mothers hidden treasure. _Why did she hide airplane tickets? _Nan Renee had lived in Jacksonville — good chance they were to see her.

There was more inside the envelope and part of me wanted to put it back — pretend I never found it. I reached in and pulled out three pictures. My body went cold, despite the warmth of the house. My hands trembled as I slowly examined each one. Edward Cullen and Grandpa Charlie in the living room; Edward Cullen smiling, standing in Grandpa Charlie's kitchen; Edward Cullen and my mother, standing close to together.

There were no notes written on the back showing evidence of who was in the picture; however, there was no denying that was the same Edward Cullen I had made friends with last week. The same Edward Cullen I had dreamed about, fantasized about, thought about. He looked the same — undeniably gorgeous.

The door opened behind me and I jumped stuffing the pictures back in the envelope.

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," Austen grumbled, kicking his suitcase to the side before grabbing his pajamas. "Mom said I might kick your hurt foot or something."

"No!" I blurted out, cramming the envelope under the mattress. "You can still sleep in here."

Mom walked in the room and looked at me, her brow creased with worry. "Jane, I hope you're not getting sick." She walked around and stood in front of me, feeling my forehead. "You look as pale as a ghost."

"Can Austen sleep in here with me? I don't want to be alone tonight." Tears poured down my face. "My bad leg will be facing the window and I'll sleep on my back all night. H-He won't hurt me."

"Sure, he can sleep with you. Honey, you're exhausted." Mom helped me under the covers and brushed my hair from my face. "Get some sleep. I called Emily Uley tonight to check with her and see if Aaron would be available to sit with you tomorrow. How does that sound?"

The news provided little comfort. Mom smiled, kissed my forehead, and started towards the door. "Mom," she turned when I called her name, "I'm sorry — for everything." She nodded her head and left, closing the door behind her.

Austen hoped in the bed next to me. He was fussing about me being such a girl, but I wasn't listening. I turned my head towards the window. I was more confused and frightened than I had ever been. _It can't be true_. _How can it be real? What does it even mean? _

I closed my eyes only to open them every thirty minutes to escape my nightmares of being chased by wolves. They were chasing me on the beach at La Push. I would fall, just as I had when I ran from Jacob. I saw myself, crawling towards the water as a shadow falls across my body. I roll over, but instead of Jacob Black looking down at me, I stared into shimmering golden eyes as a pale hand reached out to help me.


	13. Chapter 13 Identity Crisis

Chapter 13

Identity Crisis

**Author's Notes: **Some chapters flow easy; however, this was not one of those chapters. I went through many variations, constantly wrestling and changing each one. I hope I ended up with the right choice.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I watched the sun rise, attempting to peak through the gray clouds. The nightmares had kept me from having a restful night. Austen laid next to me sleeping soundlessly, having no cares or worries to keep him awake. The door opened and Mom walked in to check on us.

"Jane," she whispered, "have you slept at all?"

"It's my foot," I lied.

"I'll get you some Tylenol." She came back with two Tylenol and a glass of water. I sat up in bed and gratefully took the pills.

"When are we going home?" I asked laying my head back down on the pillow.

"You and Austen are leaving tomorrow with your father. There are a few loose ends I have to tie up but it shouldn't take me long. I'm selling the furniture with the house, and I don't think Charlie has a lot of junk laying around."

"What about you?" I asked, barely able to bring my voice above a whisper. Mom gave a quick shake of her head — not understanding my question. "Do you have any … junk still hidden somewhere in the house?"

Her brown eyes roamed the room. "I don't think so." She walked over to the closet and looked inside. "I didn't have a lot to begin with. If you find anything, either throw it away or keep it. If I left it behind I didn't want it."

Austen stirred and rolled over. Mom smiled and put her index finger up to her lips motioning for us to be quiet. I held my breath as she started moving towards the door and walked over the loose floorboard. She gave no indication it was there and exited the room.

My fingers slid under the mattress and pulled out the white envelope. Once again, I glanced over the three pictures. I had hoped it had been a dream. I couldn't help but smile at the picture of Edward alone; he was smiling, showing those perfect white teeth. It reminded me of the day we went skating. He had appeared so happy — until I mentioned his ex-girlfriend. The other two pictures with Mom and Grandpa, he had that somber look. _Why would Mom hide pictures, tickets, and CD's under the floor…if she hid them? _I tried desperately to keep my eyes open. There was too much to think about; too many questions to have answered. I placed the envelope back under the mattress just before my eyes lost their fight.

I was awakened by voices outside my window, and winced as I placed my feet on the cold wooden floor. I peered through the curtains to see who was outside, and saw Austen and Aaron playing with remote control trucks in the road.

I grabbed some clothes and limped into the bathroom to get a shower. It felt good to let the hot water pound my aching muscles. When I got out, my mouth dropped open at the sight of my reflection: bags under my eyes, my jaw was swollen and bruised, and a large goose egg shined on my forehead.

"You look like shit," I said, looking in the mirror. There was no sense in trying to cover my bruises with make-up.

It took me awhile, but eventually I made it downstairs. My foot started throbbing, giving me a warning sign to sit down and put it up. I ignored the pain and continued outside to join Austen and Aaron. When I opened the front door, a burst of cold air hit me.

"Good God, I think it's colder here than the North Pole," I shouted.

Aaron ran up to me, laughing. "It can get that way. Rain will be here later today. Shouldn't you be off your feet?" he asked looking down at my swollen ankle.

"I just wanted to see what you guys were up to."

"Come on." He turned me around, placed his hands on my waist, and led me back inside. I plopped down on the old, battered sofa and Aaron tenderly placed my foot up on a pillow. "Now, what would the mistress like to eat?"

I snickered. "Are you practicing for the drama club? Yesterday, you tried that terrible Russian accent, and today it's what — French?"

"English, but no — there is no drama club — just trying to make your visit as memorable as possible. Let's face it, Jane, as soon as your ankle gets well, that bruise on your face heals, and that knot on your forehead goes away, you'll forget about me."

"I still have the rocks to remember you by," I reminded him with a smile. "I've named the big one after you." His smile widened, showing his approval. "I'll take some cereal, thank you."

Aaron's smile stayed on his face as his right eyebrow rose just a fraction. "Excuse me?"

"You asked me what I wanted to eat."

"It's lunch time, Jane. Do you want cereal for lunch?"

I looked over at the old grandfather clock in the corner of the room and was shocked to find it was already after one. "Oh. I didn't realize I slept so late."

"Don't worry about it." Aaron chuckled. "Your mom said you didn't sleep much last night. I'll get you a bowl of stew Mrs. Clearwater sent over."

While Aaron was in the kitchen, my mind drifted upstairs. Part of me wished I had never found the pictures; then again, I had been looking for answers. There were so many questions — I was lost on where to begin.

Aaron returned and handed me a large bowl of hot stew, then sat next to me on the couch and placed my leg on his lap.

"Earth to Jane." He snapped his fingers to get my attention.

"Sorry. I was somewhere else."

"Apparently. What's got you looking so strained?"

I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. "Do you believe in angels?" I moved the beef around in my bowl, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Angels?" he replied uncertainly. There was a moment of silence, and I slowly raised my eyes to find him watching me. "Why?"

"Do you think they are transparent, or do think they can be — you know, like human form?"

"Are you going somewhere with this or…" Aaron's dark eyes searched mine.

I quickly stuffed a spoonful of stew in my mouth. "It was the nightmare I had," I mumbled with my mouth full of food.

"What about it?"

_Easy, Jane, _I warned myself, _you don't want to scare off your new friend. _"I found three pictures — in my dream," I added quickly. I glanced at Aaron to see if he showed any signs of suspecting I was lying; his features were imperturbable, so I continued. "There is this guy at school and he was in the pictures. The weird thing is — there was one of him and Grandpa together, and one of him and my mother together."

"What's so weird about that?"

"The pictures had to have been taken years ago. Every one else has aged but the guy from school. He looked the same in the pictures as he does now. That's not humanly possible. There is no botox in the world that can make someone look that good." Aaron's eyebrow's shot up in surprise. "I mean, that young — make someone look that young." I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment.

"So…this guy," Aaron said, picking at unseen fuzz on my sweatpants, "you dream about him a lot?"

"What does that have to do with my nightmare?"

"Depends on your feelings for him," he explained. "You miss him — that's why he showed up in your dream. He was in a picture with your grandfather because you miss him too. You saw him with your mother because … well, it was just a dream Jane." Aaron chuckled.

I sat silently thinking about what he said. If it _had _only been a dream, his explanation would have made sense. What was frightening was the fact that the pictures existed.

"… worked up?"

"I'm sorry. What was the question?"

"People dream about other people all the time. Why are you so worked up over this? Are you thinking he might be an angel and came to visit you in your dream?" His eyes watched me intently. "You're keeping something from me — what?" I turned my eyes back down to the bowl in my hand and ate a few more bites of stew. "Fine, don't tell me. I probably don't want to hear about some other guy anyway."

"It's not like that."

"You're seeing pictures of him in your dreams and thinking he's an angel. That sounds like a crush to me," he insisted.

"He's just a friend." I knew I wanted for it to be more than that. I had thought of Edward often, even before I found the pictures. "I'm best friends with his sister," I added, hoping that would make my thoughts of him sound reasonable.

"Have you dreamed about her?" My silence answered his question and he eased into a smile.

Austen had been eating in the kitchen and came walking out wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "I'm going upstairs to play my video game, but you never know when I might come down for something to drink so no kissy-kiss." He gave a smug smile and ran up the stairs.

Aaron leaned closer to me and his voice dropped in volume. "Well, if you did find pictures of a guy you happen to be friends with now, and he looks the same as he did when your mother was a teenager — there has to be only one explanation and it's not angelic."

The grandfather clock ticked the seconds away as I waited for Aaron to finish his sentence. "What?" I breathed.

Aaron's dark eyes bore into mine. There was no smile on his face as he answered with a voice so deep it echoed. "Alien."

I sat speechless replaying his answer over in my mind. My visions went back to the Cullens. They didn't have an appetite for human food and there was no question that Edward was intelligent. They could have worn the same colored contacts to cover up their true eye color. Then there were other things: their secludedness, evasiveness, tension, and of course all those damn complications.

Aaron stared at me for a moment before throwing his head back and letting out a great peal of laughter. "Do you really believe in such nonsense?" I shyly shook my head and laughed with him. "You were probably so worked up last night, you would have sworn you saw the Abominable Snowman if a tall person had been walking in front of your house."

"I guess you're right. I was really tired last night."

"Were you trying to make me jealous — telling me you were dreaming about another guy?" Aaron asked with a sly grin on his face.

"You don't believe in aliens?"

"Nope." He stretched his long legs out in front of him.

"Is there anything outlandish you aren't afraid to admit you believe in?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," his voice rang smooth and calm. "My people believe in many mythical tales. There are several stories that get passed down from generation to generation. I think it's possible for someone to create such things with their mind to where they actually believe it's real. As far as it truly existing," he slowly shook his head, "I'm just not a believer. I know I'll regret this, but what about you?"

"I believe anything is possible."

"Including your boyfriend being an alien."

"Boyfriend?" I sat a little straighter on the couch.

"That explains why you dreamed about him being an angel," Aaron continued, ignoring my hostile glare. "You're trying to find a reason not to like him. You came to Forks, expecting to be miserable — and by all means that's understandable — but instead you met me. Now you're torn between your boyfriend back home, and this irresistible, charmingly handsome guy from La Push."

"Can your ego be even more colossal?"

"Tell me I'm wrong?"

"You're wrong," I said looking him in the eye. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Ah, but you're not denying you have feelings for him — or me."

"Can we talk about something else?" I asked, setting my bowl on the coffee table.

Aaron laughed. "Have you found anything else out about your mom's ex?"

"I think it would be easier to talk to Mr. Black. My mom doesn't talk about her past with anyone. Since your parents were involved somehow, maybe you could ask them for me."

"Now is not the best time for me to be asking my parents about your mother's past," he said, gently stroking my swollen ankle with his warm fingers.

"You got in trouble too?"

"Yeah. I don't know what your mom said to mine, but that's the _only _reason I'm here today."

"Sorry."

Aaron shrugged. "Small price to pay. From what you overheard, what do you think happened?"

I concentrated, replaying Mom and Jacob's conversation from yesterday. "Somebody died — there was a fight…I'm thinking she may have been involved in some type of cult. A cult Mr. Black and your father helped her escape from."

"Sounds like something my dad would do. What do you think? Some type of a biker gang or something more sinister?"

"I can't see Mom in a biker gang." I smiled picturing my mother in leather on the back of a Harley with some rough looking character. _Or a mysterious attractive one like Edward Cullen_. My body tensed at the thought. "I've read stories about evil cults who sacrifice humans and animals to their gods. In return, the gods give them certain powers and they never age."

Aaron sighed. "Are we back on that topic again? I thought you wanted to change the subject?"

"I wanted to change the subject about me."

"Jane, where are the pictures? I know you must have found some. Let me take a look at them and I can tell you whether they are authentic or not."

I paused wondering if I should continue to pretend it was only a dream, or see if Aaron could help calm my nerves and tell me I was crazy.

"Under the mattress on the side closest to the window."

He smiled and ran up the stairs. I carried my bowl into the kitchen. I gazed into the night as the rain beat against the window.

"Got 'em," Aaron's voice rang out as he walked into the kitchen. I jumped causing him to laugh and shake his head. "You're really worked up about this, aren't you?"

I remained silent and sat down at the small kitchen table. He straddled the chair and pulled out the pictures, laying them side by side on the table in plain sight. My body grew cold as I watched him pick each picture up to closely examine them. His finger moved over the front and back of each picture.

After looking at all three, he leaned back and shook his head. "They look real; they were taken with an old Polaroid camera. Not saying it can't be done, but it's hard to duplicate those. Are you sure this is the same guy at your school? I mean — they say everybody has a double. Maybe he just favors him. It can't be the same guy, Jane. These look like they were taken before we were born."

I grabbed my favorite picture — the one of him by himself. "It's him."

Aaron shot up from his chair and started pacing. "There has to be a logical explanation."

"Alien."

Aaron stopped and looked at me. "I was joking."

"I'm not," I said, holding the picture up.

"So you're boyfriend is an alien?"

"He isn't my boyfriend," I said through clenched teeth. _The one guy I find interesting and attractive may be an alien. That is so my luck_, I thought to myself.

"Does he act strange around you? I mean…would you have thought he could have been an alien if you hadn't found these pictures?"

" 'Strange' is such a misconstrued word." Aaron gave me a black layered look. "They're all a little different. I love his brothers and sisters— except Rosalie I'm scared of." I looked at his picture again seeing his too perfect smile, remembering his tall, handsome, beautifully proportioned body. "No. I certainly would not have thought him an alien, more like an angel." Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes. "There have been books written about angels in human form sent back to earth. There are even movies about it."

"That's all fiction, Jane." He took the picture from my hand and held it up to me as if I hadn't seen it at all. "This is real. We're not in story book land." I started laughing. "You've been shittin' me, haven't you?"

"No. I'm as baffled as you are. I just thought of a novel by Jane Austen, _Northanger Abbey_." Aaron sat down in a chair with a thump and laid his head down on the table. "The main character, Catherine, is reading a gothic novel by Ann Radcliffe, _Mysteries of Udolpho, _when she is invited to the home of Henry Tinley, whom she is in love with. Anyway, to make a long story short," I said when Aaron pretended to snore, "she gets confused between real life and the novel."

"Did she find pictures of Henry that were taken years before she met him?" Aaron mumbled.

"No. She did find papers she thought might be mysterious in an old bureau, but they were just some receipts. My parents accuse me of having an overactive imagination."

Aaron raised his head and gazed at me. "Okay, then use it and let's figure this out," he said pointing to the pictures on the table. "List your ideas."

"Alien is a possibility." I waited for Aaron to object. He closed his eyes and put his head back on the table. "I'm going to rule out the evil cult idea. I don't think these pictures are related to my mother's problems with her ex-boyfriend. They don't look so cozy in the picture of them two together. My mom looks anxious in it — not a picture of a young couple in love. From hearing her and Jacob talk, she was head over heels in love with her ex. Plus, the Cullens don't appear to be violent." _Except when Edward threatened Reggie, _I reminded myself but quickly dismissed it. He was probably more scared than I had been.

"Who?" Aaron asked, lifting his head alertly.

"Cullen. His name is Edward Cullen."

A probing query came to his eyes as he sat and seemed to study me for a moment. "So…you're ruling out the idea that these pictures have anything to do with your mother's problems, right?" I nodded my head with confidence. "If it doesn't have anything to do with her problems, then why not ask her about them?"

"Aaron, she hid them for a reason. I'm not sure how she will react."

"Are we sure she's the one who hid them?" I had thought of that earlier, but if not her — who? "Maybe it's a relative of his. Some people say my dad and I could pass for twins. What do you know about his family?"

"I don't know anything about his biological family; he was adopted."

"This could be his father or uncle." He placed the pictures safely back in the envelope. "He could have been one of your grandfather's friends. What are the odds of you coming across these pictures. Where did you find them anyway?"

"Under a floorboard in my mother's old room. There is also a pair of plane tickets to Jacksonville dated twenty years ago."

"Twenty years, huh." There was a brief look of fear on his face, his eyes refusing to look at mine. "I think you should ask your mom. Just tell her you found them and was curious to know who he was. You don't have to tell her he looks exactly like a guy your involved with."

I opened my mouth to argue with him, when without warning, headlights flashed through the kitchen window. Aaron and I exchanged glances and looked at the envelope on the table. I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it under my sweatshirt.

"You kids have fun?" Dad asked hanging his windbreaker on the coat rack.

"Yes, sir. Thank you for inviting me over," Aaron replied.

Mom walked in and shook out her umbrella. "I don't miss the rain; one thing I never liked about this place." She walked over to me and felt my forehead. "Have you had any fever?" I shook my head. Her thin, cool hand gently touched the knot on my head. "We probably should have put ice on that and your foot. When you go back to school they're going to think you've been to war."

"When are you leaving?" Aaron asked.

"They're leaving in the morning. I have to stay probably through the weekend to get everything settled." Mom must have seen the depressed look on his face. "Aaron, I'll have to talk to your mother about you coming to stay a weekend during Christmas break. You would love North Pole during Christmas."

"Sure," he said, his tan face brightening.

"Yeah, if you visit, maybe Jane will get out of the house and actually do something this year besides stay cooped up in her room painting or reading," Dad said.

"It's getting late and I better get home." Aaron said his formal goodbyes to Mom and Dad and yelled a goodbye up to Austen. I followed him to the door.

"Have a safe trip home," Aaron said giving me a tight hug. "If you want to talk, you have my number and email address. I'm glad we became friends."

"So am I. Stay out of trouble."

"You too."

We finished Sue Clearwater's stew for supper. Mom gave me more Tylenol and sent me to bed. Dad, Austen, and I had to get up early in the morning to catch our flight back home.

I was in deep sleep when Austen nudged me awake.

"Jane, I think someone is trying to break in," he said in a hoarse whisper.

I jolted awake; the sound was coming from outside just below my window. I hurried out of bed and eased the curtain back to look down. I could see a shadow against the tree in the front yard and squinched for a better view. Another small rock hit the side of the house below the window, and I noticed the Subaru parked across the street.

"Go back to sleep, Austen. It's just the rain."

"It sure is loud to be just rain," he yawned.

"It's thundering too." I placed the curtain back in place. "I'm going downstairs to get some water."

I tiptoed as best as I could down the stairs, pausing every time the floor creaked. I safely made it to the door, put my jacket on over my pajamas, and slipped outside into the cold night air.

"Aaron, what are you doing here?" I glanced back at the house to make sure no lights were on inside.

"I couldn't sleep."

"I wasn't having a problem." I watched Aaron chew on his bottom lip. It was apparent that something had happened since I saw him earlier. His movements were fidgety; it wasn't like the calm, cool Aaron I had spent the past few days with. He shifted from foot to foot, looking everywhere but at me. "Is there something you need to tell me?"

"Have you asked your mom who the guy is in the pictures?"

"No."

"Are you?"

"Did you drive all the way back over here just to ask me if I've talked to my mother?"

Aaron walked closer to me, his breath escaping in the night air. "I couldn't rest. I just had…wanted to tell you to be careful. You don't really know these…people. I know you don't want to, but I think you should try to talk to your parents about this. What if you're wrong and it does have something to do with an evil cult your mother may have been involved in? You start digging around and they find out…what do you think is going to happen?" His dark eyes bore into mine. I could see there was a genuine fear in them. "There is another possibility you failed to mention. One much scarier than an alien and deadlier than an evil cult."

It was impossible to steady my erratic pulse. "Aaron, what do you know that I don't?"

He hesitated and an uncertainty crept into his expression. "Remember, earlier I told you about the stories that get passed down from generation to generation; tales of our ancestry? There is one particular story about vampires."

"Vampires?"

"Yeah…vampires."

"I didn't think you believed in any of that supernatural stuff."

"I didn't…don't. That doesn't mean I never paid attention to every tale. I have to know them in order to pass it down to my kids."

"What does that tale have to do with the pictures? Are you trying to tell me that Edward Cullen is a vampire?"

"I'm trying to tell you it's a possibility. The timeline we determined for the pictures matches the last time they were in this area."

I chuckled in spite of myself. "Vampire? It's impossible."

"Oh, but an alien sounds more natural to you?" A shadow of annoyance crossed Aaron's face.

"He goes to school with me, and I'm not talking night school. There are no fangs. He's not afraid of water. He's…"

"Perfect," Aaron finished my sentence. "Have you touched him? Is his skin cold? If he looks like the guy in the picture, I know he's pale."

"Everybody's skin is cold in Alaska." I blocked out the memory of touching his hand the last time I saw him. "They've been living in the northeastern part of the US, so yeah, they're pale. I'm pale and I came from Florida. That doesn't mean anything."

"Why were you so willing to accept that he was an alien or …an angel, but not a vampire?" I noted a hint of frustration in Aaron's voice.

I threw my hands up in the air. "Okay, fine. He could be a vampire. Now what? Should I ask him first, or just go ahead and stake him?"

Aaron grinned and shook his head. "Boy, you really like this guy, don't you?"

"Like I told you before, we're friends. Why can't you believe that?"

Aaron gave a lazy smile. "I've been around girls long enough to catch the different vibes. It's a gift of mine. You're too defensive about your feelings for him." He glanced up at the full moon. "For your sake, I hope it's just a case of mistaken identity. Just in case, you shouldn't tell him you found any pictures of him." I nodded in agreement and he started walking to his car.

"Aaron." He turned around and walked back to me. "Thank you. I would've had a miserable time if you hadn't been such a great friend."

"Jane Watson, the pleasure was all mine." He bent down and gave me a friendly kiss on my lips. "Please be careful. Until we get some answers, don't go anywhere by yourself with them."

I hurried quietly back inside and locked the door behind me. I glanced out the bedroom window before I got back in the bed; the Subaru was no longer present.

I laid in bed, thinking about what Aaron had said. It was evident that he believed the Cullens were vampires. _Vampires aren't real, _I told myself. Aliens hadn't been proven factual either, didn't mean they didn't exist. I closed my eyes and couldn't wait to return home and look at those deep, amber eyes of Edward Cullen — regardless the cost.


	14. Chapter 14 Restless

Chapter 14

Restless

**Arthur's Notes: **There have been many occasions that while I was driving a song would play that reminded me of _Twilight_ (you know what I'm talking about). This chapter was inspired by "When You're Gone" by Bryan Adams, _Anthology _CD. Happy reading.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

_I thought I heard Jane's thoughts again today. They weren't as kind and gentle as the last time; it was more forceful and angry. Maybe Carlisle is right and I'm imagining things to discourage any further contact with Jane. It's understandable why — to me at least. I've proven that vampire and human cannot exist as a couple. _

_She was very entertaining on the trip to Fairbanks. Her intellect and sense of humor is a breath of fresh air. It's been a while since I've laughed; I'm surprised my face didn't crack, ha. One thing I must remember: If zombies ever come to Forks, I must protect Jane._

_Of course, as always, I spoiled the moment when I lost my temper. I need to remind myself that it isn't Jane's fault for not being able to comprehend my situation. If I explained it to her, it would mean being honest with her about what I am. If I allow this relationship to continue, I don't see how I can prevent her from finding out. That is why I must end it __¾__ for good. Yet, even as I write this, I know I can't. Being with her tonight — touching her, breathing her, enjoying her __¾__ God help me, I think I'm falling_

"Edward." Emmett's voice interrupted my writing. "You want to travel to Denali with us?"

"Is everyone going?" I asked, quickly slipping my journal under some old newspapers. It wasn't a secret to my family that I kept a journal of every year I had lived since my transformation. I recorded my thoughts, world events, and anything else I thought could be of interest. Nothing had occurred recently except our outing with Jane. If Emmett caught me writing tonight, he would automatically assume I was writing about her and spread the news to the rest of the family. I didn't want them to get their hopes up.

"Yeah. It's not too far to Tanya's from here. We'll be back in time for school Monday."

"I think I'll pass." This was perfect. My family was going away, which would give me ample time to evaluate my situation and find an answer to my problems without any interference.

"Tanya will be upset. She's been asking about you." I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Okay, let me rephrase that statement — she's been worried about you."

"Please, give her my best and let her know I'm doing well. I appreciate her concern, but it isn't necessary."

Emmett crossed his arms and looked around my room. _I wish they wouldn't have sent me in here; I'm not good at this. He's gonna get mad, then we'll end up fighting and I'll hurt the poor bastard._

"Emmett, what is it the others want to know. I promise I won't get angry." I gave him my most angelic smile to reassure him. Emmett seemed to loosen up but was still hesitant.

"What happened between you and Jane when you took her home? You two spent some alone time together on the trip there and back — how'd it go?" _Did you kiss, make-out, stare helplessly into each other's eyes…inquiring minds want to know, Eddie boy. _Emmett had yet to master the ability to block his thoughts from me.

"Jane is very…inspirational. However, I'm not going to elaborate any further without her consent." There was no need to raise my voice, I knew they were listening and could hear me from any distance. "I can tell you, however, that I offered her suggestions on how to survive a zombie attack in case she finds herself involved with one in the future."

"Zombie attack?" Emmett's brow creased. "Why would you even mention zombies?"

"You did that on purpose to try and scare her away, didn't you?" Alice demanded, stepping into my room.

I chuckled, enjoying the frustration of my siblings a little too much. "She brought it up." They glared at me unbelieving. "Seriously. And what makes it even crazier is that she actually believes zombies could exist."

"Sweet," Emmett said showing a smile of approval.

My eyes flickered out the window. "Shouldn't you all be leaving?"

Emmett followed my eyes and yelled back a goodbye as he left my room. Alice steadily kept her eyes on me.

"We need to talk when I get back. As a matter of fact, I think I might stay." Alice crossed her legs and lightly sat on the floor.

"Alice, please," I said closing my eyes. "I would be very grateful if you left with the others, and I promise to speak with you in private upon your return."

"Very well." She rose in one quick motion and paused at the door. "Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yes." I didn't have to see her face to know she was smiling when she left.

I waited for the sound of the engine to stop purring before I pulled my journal back out and read over my last entry. I picked up the pen and placed it where I'd left off.

_God help me, I think I'm falling into some old habits__._

It wasn't what I had planned to write, but that's the beauty of writing: you have time to change your mind and correct your mistakes.

I put the journal safely away and placed one of my favorite classical CD's in the stereo. The house was quieter than normal, and I began to question whether I made the right choice in staying alone.

After the CD played through three times, I went downstairs and turned on the television to watch the news. There was nothing of importance happening — it was repetitive: crooked politicians, world hunger, natural disasters, constant fighting overseas, and the forever argument over taxes and health reform. I could only tolerate it for about thirty minutes before I shut it off.

I rose from the couch and headed towards the den, which was located on the southwest wing of the house. It was the first time I had been in that particular room since moving here from Vermont. Esme had decorated it with her paintings and some sculptures. Sitting in the corner, draped with a heavy sheet, was my grand piano.

Slowly, I walked over to it and gently removed the sheet. My hand traced the slick, black curve of the lid, and followed it down to the ivory keys. I hit one and immediately noticed the sound was off. It hadn't been played in twenty years and desperately needed tuning. I placed the lid in its topmost position and removed the music shelf. In a matter of minutes the piano was ready to be played. I sat on the bench in front of the keyboard, closed my eyes, and began to lose myself in the music.

I was wrapped in a silken cocoon of euphoria. The notes came easily to me, though it had been years since I played. I had made a vow never to touch the instrument again, afraid to relive memories of a happier time. However, as I played, I was surprised to find myself not thinking about a girl from twenty years ago, but of a girl I had dropped off sixteen hours earlier. I was contrite and shocked at the depth of my feeling — feelings I had thought long since dead.

"This is absurd." I banged my hands down on the keys making a horrid sound and swiftly placed the lid down. Once again, the instrument became concealed under the heavy sheet. I instantly removed myself from the room and began to pace in the adjoining kitchen.

"You should be finding answers to your problems, not creating more with these infantile feelings and inconceivable thoughts," I denounced myself aloud. "There is no way you can afford to continue this game with her. You have only a few months left before you can leave — fulfilling your bargain with the family."

Ideas started coming to my mind on how to avoid Jane until then. No doubt, Alice would continue to invite her to join us at school — how could I disperse myself from their company without them noticing? Finding a new group who weren't very friendly shouldn't be hard to do. I thought of becoming involved with a new hobby, perhaps join a club, to preoccupy my time. Then again, why should I let her run me away from my family? There was no reason I couldn't still socialize with them, yet be unfriendly and keep my distance from Jane. _Or, you could shut up, relax, and let nature take its course and see where it leads._

"Torment, agony, depression, and ultimately death; that's where it will lead — death!" I stopped at the echo of my own voice. _Great, now I'm answering myself._ I started laughing at how ridiculous I must have appeared.

I walked outside and sat on the cold ground to clear my head. The stars sparkled bright above in the black sky. Jane had simply wanted to be friends, and I would grant her wish. I was probably worried over nothing. Jane most likely hadn't thought about me since I dropped her off at her house last night. Chances were, my sudden outburst had drove her away from wanting anything other than just casual friendship; if there was ever anything other than that in the beginning. She seemed revolted at the thought of us being a couple when Mackenzie referred to us that way. When I had placed my arm across her shoulders, I heard her heart pound a few times as her body tensed under my touch.

My musings were interrupted by the sound of tires crunching gravel in the front of the house, announcing the arrival of my family. I quickly headed to the woods to feed; daylight was getting close and school would be beginning in a few more hours. I cursed myself for letting a whole day pass without accomplishing a thing.

When I returned home, Alice was patiently waiting for me at the gazebo swing in the backyard.

"Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar sends their hello," Alice said, lightly swinging back and forth. I remained silent and sat down next to her. "Is all well with you?"

"As best as it can be. What of Irina? Have they heard from her?" Irina was Tanya's sister who had become romantically involved with my nemesis, Laurent. Previously he had been with James and Victoria but left when James planned to kill Bella. Afterwards, he joined the Denali Coven to change his eating habits and that was when he met Irina. He stayed with them for about a year, but vanished and had been missing for almost twenty years. I never trusted him.

"She comes and goes. She's bitter about Laurent leaving and still trying to find him, or at least find out what happened to him."

"Has she thought about checking with Victoria? He probably returned to her after James died." I failed at trying to keep the animosity out of my tone.

"She hasn't been able to find her either. She's had a couple of dead end leads. Tracking isn't her specialty. Tanya's worried about her. She said Irina doesn't speak much when she's around them."

"Hmm, I must thank Carlisle for answering on my behalf. Maybe she'll have found something by the time summer gets here." I read Alice's thoughts to find that Tanya had requested my assistance on helping Irina find Laurent while she concentrated on finding Victoria. Carlisle politely explained that we had started a new life in North Pole and I would be unavailable until summer when school would be out.

"Edward, she hasn't found anything in twenty years. What makes you think something will come up in eight months?" Alice shook her head at my sanguinity. "On to a brighter subject…did you and Jane…talk about anything in particular on the ride back to North Pole from Fairbanks?"

"I explained my previous relationship as best I could in not so many words. I don't think she will ask about it again."

Alice reached out and grabbed my hand, squeezing it softly. "She started to think the reason for your remorse was because she had died."

"Maybe we should have went with that story." Alice jerked her head around, her eyes wide and bewildered. "It sounds better than the truth; that I left to keep from hurting her. Who's to say that it would be a lie? She might be dead."

"Edward!" Alice jumped up and placed her small hands on her tiny waist. "How dare you think that? I refuse to believe that you-know-who is dead." I looked at the woman standing before me; Alice's lips were pressed together in anger, yet her eyes revealed that she wasn't too sure herself if Bella was still alive.

"Alice," I kept my voice calm, "Bella was only human. A lot could have happened since we've seen her last. I don't like to think about it either, but unlike us, humans can't live forever."

"We shouldn't have ran. You should have changed her when she begged you."

I kept her steady gaze. "No doubt if we hadn't left she would be with us now; still, I can't go back and change the past. Even if I could, I'm not sure I would change my decision." A low growl escaped Alice's lips. "Honestly, Alice, if you had been given a choice to choose this life or stay human, which one would you have picked?"

"That's not a fair question. I don't remember much of my human life, but it couldn't have been that great. I was in a psych ward for crying out loud."

"If you would have been consciously aware of what you were going to become, would you have wanted to be changed or remain human?"

"I would rather had become a vampire than be lunch for one." Alice's creator saved her from a planned attack from James. James ended up killing him for changing her, but Alice had been spared.

I sighed. Alice wasn't making my reasoning easy to explain. "Okay, ask Jasper which one he would have stuck with if he had been given the choice. Carlisle wouldn't have chosen this life for himself. He even tried to commit suicide when he realized what he had become. You three are the only ones who were transformed who had a chance of remaining alive — and remaining human." Alice opened her mouth to speak, but I held my hand up to silence her. "Fine, you wouldn't have remained alive very long…but my point is, there was no reason to do this," I pointed to myself, "to her — not as long as her heart continued to beat. She had no idea what she was asking for; her love for me clouded her logical thinking."

"You don't think Jane will be the same way? What happens when she falls in love with you and demands to become one of us? Are you going to leave again?"

"I don't think Jane has the same desire towards me that Bella did." I got out of the swing and dusted off my clothes. "But, if she does, my values will not waiver. I will take whatever actions necessary to keep her safe if at any time I feel her life may be in danger because of her association with us."

"Hmm," Alice moved directly in front of me, "you say her desire is not the same as Bella's, but what about yours? Is the glacier surrounding my brother's heart starting to melt?" she asked teasing me affectionately, not maliciously.

"Considering I have no heart, I doubt it," I replied, returning her jest.

"The others are waiting on you two to get ready for school," Esme called out the back door. Alice ran inside to change, and I gave Esme a hug on my way in. "Did you enjoy your time alone?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you."

I started up the stairs to put on a clean set of clothes, when Esme's hand grabbed my forearm. "She seems like a very sweet girl. I couldn't help but notice how much she reminds me of…Bella. I'm worried about you."

"There is nothing to worry about."

_She's not Bella, Edward. You have to move on and let go of the past. _

I gave her a kiss on the cheek. Her concern for my well-being was understandable. "I'm well aware that she isn't Bella. Maybe I'm just attracted to girls with big, brown eyes and creamy white skin, whose mind I can't read with an exception to Jane's — at times; though I'm still not sure if I'm hearing her or myself speaking for her." I gave my head a quick shake, dropping the subject. "Mother, I have to get ready for school." Esme smiled and released my arm.

We pulled up to North Pole High and I immediately noticed that the blue Honda was absent. She had already advised me she wasn't a morning person, which meant she was probably running late. We continued to our first class, not saying a word to each other as we parted ways.

I went to our usual spot for break and sat down next to Jasper. Alice was last to arrive — but no Jane.

"She's not here," Alice said sitting down on the other side of Jasper.

"Maybe Edward scared her so bad, she doesn't want to come back to school." Emmett laughed and winked at me. Nothing else was said about Jane's absence, and we continued through the rest of the day as normal.

The following day started just as the last; still no sign of Jane's Honda in the parking lot. Alice confirmed during break that once again, Jane was absent.

"She's human," Rosalie said without any concern. "She may have a cold. Humans get those every now and then."

"Rose has a point," Jasper said. "With the weather changing, she could have come down with something."

"Yeah, she doesn't look very healthy. She looks really fragile, like someone could break her in half." Emmett directed his eyes across the table at me. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by that remark. What I meant was that Jane's very attractive — petite and flowerlike." Rosalie cleared her throat. "Sorry," Emmett's eyes darted back to his wife, "I didn't mean anything by that remark. What I meant was that Jane's…"

"I'll call her when we get home and check on her." Alice interrupted Emmett's pathetic attempt at an apology. "I'm sure Rose and Jazz are right, and she's just out with a cold. Maybe we can go over and visit her tomorrow with some homemade chicken soup."

Once we arrived home, Alice began to look for Jane's phone number.

"What's her father's name?" she asked me while glancing over the last name Watson.

"I don't know."

"What about her mother's?"

"I don't know. Just look for a Watson with her address."

"They must have an unlisted number." Alice closed the phonebook and wrinkled her brow in thought. "We could just assume she's sick and take her the soup anyway."

"She hasn't been to school in two days. Why else would she not be there if she wasn't sick?" My eyes narrowed on Alice. "You really think I may have scared her away? That's preposterous," I fumed and started my pacing.

"Well, you shouldn't have started that nonsense about zombies," Alice fussed back.

"She brought it up — not me!" I grabbed my car keys and briskly walked out the door.

"Wait, you forgot the chicken soup," Alice called after me.

"Damn the chicken soup," I said not wasting any time cranking up my BMW and taking off towards Jane's house.

I turned the corner on the winding road off Old Richardson Hwy, and drove back to where Jane's two story house sat close to the woods. The only car in the yard was Jane's. _She may be sick after all. Her parents are probably at work, _I thought calming myself.

I went to the front door and rang the doorbell. I listened intently and didn't hear any sounds coming from inside. When I had visited the last time to take her skating, she had tried to hide and pretend she wasn't home. I backed up and gazed up at the window, but the curtains weren't moving. I walked around to the back out the house and peered inside. There was nothing out of place; the house looked just as it had the last time I was there.

I decided to let myself in the house and inspect things to make sure Jane wasn't on the floor in need of attention. Remembering Jane's account of her mother's OCD habit, I thought I might have to literally break-in the home. All the doors and windows were locked on the bottom floor. I walked around the house again, my eyes zooming in on the second floor windows. _Good thing no one lives close by_, I thought as I continued my survey of the house; there would be no chance of her family finding out I was snooping. I was surprised when I found a window unlocked, and quickly scurried up the side of the house to let myself in.

The room I entered must have belonged to Austen. Video games were scattered across the floor and the room smelt like week old gym socks. I eased the door opened and listened for some sign of life in the house but couldn't find any.

I quietly walked to Jane's room and eased the door open. The double bed was perfectly made with a white feather down comforter on top. Her walls were painted light yellow and covered with pink, purple, and blue butterflies. Her easel was positioned in front of the window, overlooking the front yard with a clear view of the woods across the street. Her dresser was adorned with a variety of candles. One small drawing was framed and hung next to her dresser. It looked like a knight slaying a dragon with a princess on the ground behind the beast. Jane had scratched her initials in blue crayon at the bottom of the paper.

Curiously, I walked over to her bookshelf. My finger traveled down the line of books that loaded it down: _Jane Eyre, War and Peace, Tale of Two Cities, Le Morte D'Arthur, Sense and Sensibility, Hamlet, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Plague, _and many more. I could tell by the wear on the spine which ones were her favorites. My hand stopped on one book in particular and I eased it out of its place. The spine was worn and the book cover was turned up at the edges. I thumbed the pages; some were torn and discolored, and the musty smell indicated the age of the book. Reluctantly, I placed Bram Stoker's, _Dracula_, back in its slot. Not wanting to intrude any more than I already had, I slipped back out Austen's window.

On my way home, I phoned the University of Alaska in Fairbanks and asked to be transferred to the English department.

"This is Gloria, how may I direct your call?"

"Yes, I need to speak with Professor Watson, please."

"I'm sorry, Professor Watson is out of town on a family emergency. I can take a message or transfer you to his voice mail?"

"Do you know what type of family emergency?"

"Um…I don't think I'm allowed to—"

I shut the phone off, realizing I wasn't going to get an answer. There was some type of family emergency that caused the Watson's to go out of town. My mind replayed our meeting in the library. Something must have happened to her grandparents in Florida.

Alice greeted me at the front door, bombarding me with questions before I could make it into the house.

"They're away due to some type of family emergency." I joined the rest of the family in the living room.

"You got all that just by going to her house?" Emmett asked steadily playing his video game. By the way he was gritting his teeth, Jasper was giving him a run for his money.

"I called the university where her father works. Gloria told me he was out of town on a family emergency."

_Gloria?_

"She's the one who answered the phone, Emmett."

"I hope everything is okay. Did she tell you what _kind _of family emergency?" Esme asked.

I shook my head. "I'm sure nothing too serious. Her grandparents still live in Florida, so I assume that's where they went."

"Grandparents may have died," Rosalie purred as she continued to file her nails.

"I'm sure none of them minded a trip to Florida," Jasper said, keeping his concentration on the game. "The warm weather will probably be welcoming."

"Who knows," Rosalie smiled with an air of pleasure, "they may realize how much they missed it and decide to stay."

I got off the couch and walked up the stairs to my room in silence.

"Why do you always have to be such a bitch?" Alice yelled.

"Why do you always have to be so agreeable?" Rosalie returned with the same ferocity. "I hope she went back to Florida and I hope she stays in Florida. She's not good for him, just like Bella wasn't good for him. Sure, he's happy with her now, but what happens when she finds out what we are? We all know the rules of humans finding out about our kind. It's not safe for us. Jane may not be as understanding as Bella was; she may not be able to handle the truth."

"She might not ever have to know," Esme said in her kind, gentle voice.

"Then you didn't see what I saw at the skating ring. He's falling for her. There is an attraction there — from both sides. He's only going to get hurt again. He's going to have to start the healing process all over. What if he decides to go to Volterra again to the—"

"He won't," Esme's smooth voice broke in.

"He's self-destructive. If something happened, he could—"

"He won't." This time, Esme spoke with cool authority and the tone of her voice told Rosalie the subject was over.

I put on my earplugs and listened to an old jazz CD. What if Jane did decide to move back to Florida? Life would move on but my world would be unmoved; I would simply continue to exist. I remembered a quote from Robert Frost: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." No one bothered me the rest of the day.

Wednesday and Thursday rolled around and still no sign of Jane. I decided that if she wasn't at school on Friday, I was going to travel to Fairbanks and break into her father's office to find out where they were. Maybe get a phone number to call her — _just to make sure she's safe_, I told myself.

Friday — nothing had changed; there was still no sign of Jane's car. I sat next to Jasper at our picnic table for break, and he allowed me to feel the frustration that had been building since Monday. We were later joined by Emmett and Rosalie who seemed to be oblivious of my attitude. Emmett began discussing plans for the upcoming weekend. I glanced over at Jasper wondering if he had any idea where Alice was.

_I haven't seen her since this morning before school started. She should be here._

"Do you think she might be in trouble?" I asked.

Emmett stopped talking and looked back and forth from me to Jasper. "Is something wrong with Alice?"

"I don't know," Jasper said. "She didn't tell me she wasn't going to meet us for break."

"Is Jane here today?" We all shook our heads in response to Rosalie's question. "I wouldn't worry about Alice — she can take care of herself. She's probably into something she's not supposed to be in. If she doesn't show up at lunch, then we've got a problem — agree?" We agreed, but Jasper and I weren't too enthusiastic with the plan.

I was the first to arrive at our lunch table, followed by Jasper and then Emmett, who both admitted they hadn't seen Alice. When Rosalie showed up alone, I started to really worry.

"I think we need to spread out and try to find her. Something's wrong; this isn't like Alice not to tell _any _of us what she's doing." There was urgency in Jasper's voice.

As Jasper started going over his strategy, Alice walked into the cafeteria and slowly moved forward.

"Where the hell have you been?" Rosalie hissed as Alice sat down next to Jasper.

"How bad?" I asked, already reading Alice's mind. Every muscle in my body started to tense.

"She looked terrible, Edward," Alice said. "There were circles under her eyes, and bruises on her face. She had an ankle brace on her foot and using crutches. She came into history class to get her lessons she had missed, but she's gone again."

"Who? Jane?" Jasper asked. "Is that why you weren't at break?"

"I went to the parking lot to look for her, but her car was already gone." Alice glanced my way. "I didn't want to upset Edward."

"I'll be back after school to pick you guys up." Rosalie groaned as I quickly walked out the door.

I hoped Alice was exaggerating and Jane wasn't as bad as she had described. I pulled up to her house and parked on the other side of the trees, hiding my car from the view of her window. There were no other cars in the yard, meaning Jane was alone. This time when I rang the doorbell, I heard movement coming from the first floor near the back of the house.

"Who is it?" Jane's voice called out.

"Edward."

There was silence from the other side of the door. She was close enough I could hear her heart beating faster than normal. When she opened the door, our eyes locked.

_Damn_! Both our voices echoed inside my head at the same time.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" she asked. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

My eyes quickly accessed her injuries: there was a large knot on her forehead, which was turning yellow, her jaw was bruised a deep purple color and swollen, an ankle brace was on her left foot, and scratches on her hands. There was no sign that any sunlight had lingered on her pale face. Her brown eyes looked tired and…frightened?

"I got out early — what happened to you? Where have you been?" My fingers longed to reach out and touch her delicate skin.

"I had to go out of town; there was a death in the family."

"I'm sorry to hear that. You must have some rough relatives in Florida."

"Florida? Oh…" Her long, slender fingers touched the knot on her head as she offered me a shy smile. "I fell. Sprained my ankle pretty good, too." She stuck her left foot out showing her brace.

"Alice said she saw you briefly during 2nd period and you didn't look well."

She gave a quiet laugh. "Mom worried what people would think seeing me all beat-up and bruised. It doesn't feel as bad as it looks. I should be back to school Monday."

"Do you need me to pick you up?"

"No, it's my left foot. I should be able to drive." She tilted her head and looked around my shoulder. "Where is your car?"

"Oh, I uh…parked it on the other side of the woods." Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I wanted to surprise you, so I hid my car."

"O-kay… you got me. I was definitely surprised when I heard your voice."

"I probably wouldn't have to hide my car if I was guaranteed you wouldn't try and pretend you weren't home like you did the last time." Her face blushed and a smile played on her lips.

"Why is it that every time you decide to come, I always look my worst?"

"That statement depends on whose eyes you're looking through."

She looked down and examined her hands, laughing nervously. "You're too kind. I appreciate you stopping by to check on me. I hope I didn't offend Alice by not speaking to her, I'm just ashamed at how I look."

"No, she was just concerned about you — we all were."

"Including Rosalie?" Her brown eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Yes, you could say she was concerned too." _Concerned you'd return._

"Tell them I'll see them Monday."

"Glad you're back. If you need anything, just give me a call." I smiled and left, hearing the door lock behind me.

Later that night, I went back to her house and lingered in the woods. The lights were out and only her car and a SUV were parked in the front yard. Austen wasn't home and his window was still unlocked. I eased into the house and could hear her father snoring downstairs. Quietly, I slipped into Jane's room.

She was sleeping peacefully, her sandy colored hair spread across the pillow. She had her left foot propped up on a pillow with a sheet draped over it. I pulled the sheet back and her foot was swollen, three times its normal size. I placed my cold hand against her ankle. She flinched and I remained still until light snores escaped from her mouth again. I stood at the end of her bed, watching her sleep. No words came from her lips, but every now and then, a smile would form on her beautiful face.

I heard her father coming up the stairs, and looked out the window noticing for the first time morning had arrived. I cursed myself for being careless. No doubt he would see me if I tried to make it back to Austen's room — even with my speed. I placed the sheet back over her, and lingered a while longer looking at her. This time, I couldn't resist. I softly brushed my fingers against her cheek. She took a quick breath and her brown eyes fluttered open.


	15. Chapter 15 Blind Date

Chapter 15

Blind Date

**Author's Notes: **Please forgive me for such a long chapter. I honestly tried to cut back as much as I could. Happy reading;)

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephanie Myer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I was dreaming of beaches; my toes sinking into the hard, wet sand as I walked along picking up sea shells. I was laughing, thinking I was the luckiest girl in the world to be with him…Edward. Suddenly, a shiver went through my body and jolted me awake. I looked through blurry eyes and thought someone was standing next to my bed. Quickly, I rubbed the sleep away and got ready to scream — but no one was there. I propped myself up in the bed and looked around the room. An unexpected knock on the door caused me to scream, and my father rushed in.

"What's wrong?"

"You scared me." I sighed a relief and plopped back down on the pillow. "What were you doing lurking outside my room?"

"I wasn't lurking. I wanted you to know I'm going to be at the office all day. How are you feeling?"

My heart was back at its normal pace. "I feel fine. My foot isn't hurting at all." I pulled the sheet back and noticed the swelling had gone down considerably. "How long are you going to be gone?"

"Jane, I have a weeks worth of papers and test to go over. Plus, I have to plan for my lectures this coming up week and leave lesson plans for the days your mother and I are going to be gone."

"Gone where and when?" I asked following him downstairs.

"To the Jane Austen seminar in New Jersey next week, remember?" Dad grabbed his briefcase and coat. "Before we leave, we need to talk if you want a birthday party."

"And what — invite all five of my friends?"

"Ooh, you're up to five now?" Dad kissed me on the cheek and smiled. "I'll be late coming home. Call me if you need me."

"Sure," I said half-heartedly.

I had been shocked when Edward arrived at my house yesterday. I was scared at first to open the door; afraid of seeing sharp protruding teeth, bulging red eyes, and scales all over his body confirming he was indeed an alien sent to terminate me for whatever reason. However, my senses soared to life when I laid eyes on him; he was even more stunningly virile than I had remembered. I struggled to get a hold of myself and remember that he could be dangerous. Yet, the fear was short lived and replaced with sheer happiness at the revelation that he had been concerned for my well-being.

After a hot shower, I started a load of laundry and began to unpack. At the bottom, under all my clothes, was the white envelope and silver CD. I never got the chance to speak with Mom before we left Forks; there would be plenty of time to do that when she returned. _What if I could help Edward find his biological parents? _The flash of hope caused me to smile.

Austen was spending the weekend with his best friend, and since I was alone there was no reason for me to feel wary about playing the CD. A beautiful piano piece came through the speakers, and as I listened, I longingly looked at the blank canvass sitting on my easel. Unfortunately, I had a weeks worth of homework waiting for me downstairs in Dad's study.

Who would have thought that I could have forgotten everything I had learned after being absent a week from school. After a few hours of mind numbing geometry problems, the door bell sounded saving what few hairs I had left on my head.

"I brought you some chicken soup." Alice was smiling holding a steaming pot in her tiny hands. I took it from her and she followed me into the kitchen. I lifted the lid and the aroma was heavenly.

"Is this homemade?" I asked, grabbing two bowls from the cupboard.

"Yes. I made it myself."

"You made it?" I asked unbelievingly. Alice didn't appear to be the domesticated type.

"Mm-hmm."

I dipped a bowl and started to sit it down in front of her at the table, but she refused — as always, advising me she wasn't hungry. I took the bowl and sat down across from her. It was the best soup I had ever ate.

"Edward told us you had a death in the family. Sorry to hear that."

"Thanks. I was lucky to know my grandfather." I saw no better time than the present to start asking questions to solve my mystery. "What about you guys? Do any of you know anything about your real parents?"

Alice glanced down at the table. "I know I had a sister, but I don't remember her."

"You had a sister? Why didn't Mr. and Mrs. Cullen adopt her?"

"She wasn't up for adoption," she said with a spark of some indefinable emotion in her eyes.

"Oh…I'm sorry." It must have been painful knowing your parents kept your sibling but chose to give you away. I began to wonder if all the Cullens had some type of sad story to tell.

"It's okay." Alice shrugged and smiled. "I'm happy. Look at all I gained in the process."

"What about the other's — do they remember anything about their biological family?"

"Not really." Alice's face seemed to close, as if guarding a secret. "Why?"

I shook my head, avoiding her penetrating gaze. "I was just curious. I met a guy while I was gone who happened to be adopted. There were some…pictures he found of his biological father. It was scary how much they looked alike." I got up and placed my dish in the washer. "Imagine all the crazy ideas we came up with when we found the pictures. I mean — the guy in the picture looked just like him…identical. What would you think if you saw a picture of someone who looked identical to you, but the pictures were taken before you were born?"

"I would assume it was someone related to me."

"You wouldn't be upset or come up with other ideas?"

"What other ideas could there be?" I stared blankly at her. "Yes," she sighed, "I would probably be shocked."

"How do you think Edward would react if he saw pictures of his real father?"

Alice was quiet, her amber eyes studying my face. "It might upset him. Why the sudden interest in our biological family?"

I fidgeted leaning against the counter. "Like I said — conversation. You don't ever think about them?"

"No." She spoke the word with finality and I got the distinct feeling she was warning me to back off. "What happened to you, anyway? How did you get all those bruises?"

"Let's just say my imagination got the best of me." Alice continued to stare at me. "I was running from someone and fell."

"I told Edward he shouldn't have scared you with stories of zombies."

"Zombies?" My heartbeat quickened. What if they were zombies after all? They didn't fit the picture of how Hollywood depicted zombies, but to my knowledge there was no blueprint of what a real zombie looked like.

"He claimed you brought it up last weekend."

"Oh, yeah." My heart slowed back down and I laughed at myself. "I did bring it up. We were talking about our chances of survival using different scenarios, and I happened to mention I would be toast if I came across a zombie. He offered some very helpful hints on how to survive." I smiled, remembering our bizarre conversation.

"Hmm. Well, I came by to check on you and see if you would like to catch a movie?"

"I have to call Dad and see if I can. I'm supposed to be on restrictions." Alice gave me a curious stare. "I was very disobedient while I was gone," I explained. I called Dad and he said I could go but swore me to secrecy; Mom could never find out he went behind her back. I was sure he only agreed to let me go because he felt guilty leaving me alone.

Alice followed me to my room so I could change. I pulled out a pair of jeans and sweater from the closet.

"You're wearing that?" she asked, peering over my shoulder.

"What's wrong with it?"

Alice shooed me to the side and started rummaging through my closet. I walked over to my dresser and brushed my hair back in a ponytail.

"Ugh, Jane." I turned from the mirror and saw disgust on her face. She was holding a plain, black cotton dress.

"It was last years Halloween costume." I giggled at her expression. Alice discarded the garment onto an unexpected pile of clothes that had miraculously formed in the corner of my bedroom.

"Your wardrobe needs some serious work. Here, put this on." She handed me a pair of black slacks, a black turtleneck, and a sky blue oxford shirt.

"Why am I having to get all dressed up just to go the movies?" I asked unable to disguise the annoyance in my voice.

"You don't want to go looking like a slob, do you? Trust me, you'll thank me later."

I snatched the clothes from her hands and stomped in the bathroom to change. To my horror, my clothes wasn't the only thing Alice wanted to change. She set me down at my dresser and began to give me a make-over, ignoring my protest and giving me unwanted beauty tips.

When she finished, she placed me in front of a mirror and I stood speechless. I reached out and touched the mirror then my face to make sure it was me. I no longer looked like a child, but a young woman. My hair was loosely pulled back on the sides with burettes. She used eyeliner to accentuate my brown eyes, a small amount of blush on my cheeks to give my face some color, and rose colored lip gloss.

"Wow," I whispered, afraid the smallest movement would cause my appearance to evaporate like Cinderella at midnight. "I think you've found your calling. Alice, this is incredible."

She smiled with an air of pleasure. "It's easy when you don't have to work so hard."

I blushed and moved away from the mirror. "Thanks. I guess I'm ready." I grabbed some cash out of the money box in Dad's office and jumped in the Lamborghini unable to contain my excitement of doing something with my new friend. Alice got in and threw a trash bag in the backseat.

"What's in the bag?" The only thing I had seen her bring inside was the wonderful chicken soup. I patiently waited for her answer as she pulled out of the driveway.

"I have to stop by the Salvation Army. You don't mind, do you?"

"Salvation Arm…" My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. "Are those my clothes? Are you seriously giving my clothes away? Alice, what the hell?"

"Jane, your clothes are out dated and worn. You need some new ones." Alice appeared unconcerned at my sudden outburst of anger.

"Alice, they're only a couple of years old. Besides, I don't have money to throw away on clothes."

Her eyes roamed over my figure. "Rosalie's clothes will fit you perfectly after a few small adjustments in the hip, chest, and length. She has more than enough in her closet."

"If you think I'm going to take her clothes without her freely offering them to me…" I turned and glared out the window, numb with increasing rage and shock.

The snow had started steadily falling and covered the parking lot by the time we pulled up to the Salvation Army in Fairbanks. Alice reached back and grabbed the bag full of my clothes. "This will only take a minute," she said as she swung her legs around and got out of the vehicle.

"Unbelievable," I muttered. I didn't give myself a chance to debate my next decision. I was out of the car and running towards Alice. "You're not taking my clothes," I yelled and grabbed one end of the trash bag.

Alice spun around, her hand still tightly holding on to the other end of the bag. "Jane, you need to give to those less fortunate than you."

"Then let's not be stingy and give them some of your and Rosalie's clothes," I argued through clenched teeth.

"We give all the time. We can either donate these clothes, or I can build a bonfire and burn them. Either way, we're getting rid of them." She pulled the bag towards her.

"No, we're not. They're my clothes and I'm keeping them."

People stared at Alice and me standing in the middle of a snow covered parking lot, fussing over a trash bag full of clothes. I grabbed my end with both hands and snatched. Alice was tougher than she looked; she didn't budge and without notice the bag surrendered and popped open spilling my clothes onto the mushy ground. A moment passed while Alice and I stood speechless looking at the clothes on the ground before we erupted with laughter.

"Looks like you win this round," Alice said. She walked inside and got another plastic bag to put my wet clothes.

Moments later, we arrived at the theater. "What are you in the mood for?" I asked glancing at the billboard. "We have: action, drama, horror, and romance."

"Let's ask the boys."

"Boys?" I repeated still sitting in the car. As Alice approached the building, Jasper appeared and gave her a warm embrace. "Well, I'm already out-voted. Why am I always a third wheel?" My enthusiasm died away as I unclasped my seatbelt and got out of the car. When I glanced back over to Alice and Jasper, a lump rose in my throat. "Boys," I whispered in the cold air while all three Cullens looked at me.

We went inside to get out of the cold and stood in a semi circle to determine what we were going to watch; I stood closest to Alice, and Edward stood closest to Jasper. I kept my head bowed, studying my hands, while Alice and Jasper discussed what movie would be best.

Slowly, my eyes moved across the floor and rested on Edward's feet. He was wearing tan leather hiking boots, which looked like new. My eyes began to travel up his tall, handsome form: over his blue jeans, to his muscles rippling under his gray shirt, to his beautiful, long-fingered hands, on up to his broad shoulders, which were hidden under a black leather bomber jacket, until they finally froze on his pale, stunning face. He was staring back at me with those glowing amber eyes. My heart was hammering foolishly as I felt blood coursing through my veins like an awakened river. Heat engulfed me from the crown of my head to the very soles my feet despite the freezing temperatures.

"Jane? Jane, are you okay?" I batted my eyes and gasped looking away. Alice placed her hand on my shoulder. "What movie do you want to see?"

"I don't care. I just need some water." I put my cold hands against my warm face.

"Ed—"

"Alice, just pick a movie. I need to use the bathroom."

"We don't…. Okay, how about a cross between romance and action — drama."

"Fine, I'll pay." Edward quickly moved forward.

"I brought some money," I said, sticking a shaky hand into my pocket to pull out a wad of cash.

"Our treat," Alice said.

Edward hurried off to the bathroom and I got in line for a bottle of water. I glanced over at Alice and Jasper who were steadily talking in the corner. I got the largest water they had and took a huge gulp before joining them.

"Come on, we better go ahead and get a seat," Alice said pulling Jasper along.

"Shouldn't we wait for Edward?" I asked lagging behind. I didn't understand what the big rush was — the theater wasn't full.

"He can find us."

Alice chose a back row and pushed Jasper in front of her, all the way to the end.

I stood looking at the seat next to Alice. "Shouldn't you and Jasper move down one so Edward can sit next to him?"

"No, Jasper has to sit next to the wall." Alice shrugged an apology. "What can I say, everyone in our family has a glitch."

I stared at her for a moment before taking my seat. After the experience I just had, I wasn't so sure I would be able to sit next to Edward through a two hour movie. Alice and Jasper whispered to each while I stared at a blank screen. There was movement in my peripheral vision and I glanced over. Edward paused at the end of the row, then slowly moved forward and sat down next to me.

"You look nice tonight." He smiled over at me.

"Alice did it," I blurted out. I shut my eyes and chewed my bottom lip. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"I can move down one if you feel too cramped."

"No…unless — you want to." I stole a glimpse of his face. Sitting so close to him I realized just how perfect he was.

"I'm fine. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

I brought my hand up to stifle a giggle. The fact was I would have been perfectly content to sit in his lap. The only thing that made me uncomfortable was knowing, deep down, that friends was as far as our relationship would ever go. I wanted to know him more, not just because of my recent discovery, but because I felt some type of magnetic pull towards him. I wanted the type of relationship with him where we could share a glance and know what each other was thinking without saying a word; the kind of relationship my parents had.

A probing query came to his eyes and I shook my head. "I'm okay, but you might want to move once the movie starts. I have a bad habit of making remarks and asking too many questions. My family forces me to sit a row in front of them."

He smiled and relaxed. "Doesn't bother me."

He didn't seem to mind my occasional remark or my string of questions after a secret was revealed. I, on the other hand, wasn't doing so well. Every time he whispered the explanation to me — the feel of is cool breath on my skin, the sweet smell that flowed from his lips, his face so close to mine — a quiver surged through my body and I felt flushed. I was thankful for the lack of lighting in the theater.

After the movie, we all piled into the BMW (Alice and Jasper in the back; Edward and I in the front) and headed to the mall.

"Jasper and I have to look for something. We'll catch up with you guys later." Alice grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him away, disappearing in the crowd.

Edward and I stood motionless as people swarmed around us.

"Is there a particular store you want to visit?" Edward asked.

"Not really. You?" He shook his head.

We made our way to the food court and found an open table. There was a lot of commotion coming from the other side of the court where Reggie Adams and his goons were laughing and making a mess.

"I think we've been set-up," Edward said with a smile on his face. "I believe Alice planned this unexpected blind date. I'm sorry — she doesn't know when to quit."

I quickly dropped my eyes to hide my hurt. I understood his apology; he must have told Alice before that he wasn't interested in me in any other way except friends. "I had fun anyway. Thanks."

"Your foot seems to be doing better. How have you been holding up?"

"It's better. As far as losing my grandfather…we weren't that close for me to really miss him. Don't get me wrong — I'm sad he's gone and I wish we had been closer, but it just didn't work out that way. Does that make any sense?" I asked feeling foolish.

He took in a breath. "Yes…my parents died when I was young. Even though I faintly remember them, it doesn't make the loss hurt any less. "

"Oh, I'm sorry. That must have been devastating for you. I couldn't imagine…" My voice faltered as the pictures flashed through my mind. "You didn't have any other family members who could have taken you in?"

"No. Carlisle was their physician and my mother begged him to adopt me before she died."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did they die?"

"A disease, which during that time was incurable."

"Do you have any pictures? Do you know if you look like your father or mother?"

There was a flicker of amusement in his eyes that met mine. "I don't look like either one — but I resemble my mother most. I have an old picture of them somewhere in my room and a few keepsakes that belonged to them."

"You don't look like your father?" I asked, feeling the blood drain from my face.

"No." His brows drew downward questioningly. "Are you upset?"

I jumped up from the table. "I'll get us something to eat since you paid for the movie." He stood to protest but I quickly walked to the pretzel booth.

As I waited in line, I tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. It was clear that the guy in the picture was not Edward's father and he had no other family members. The explanation I had hoped for was out of the question and I didn't want to think about the other possibilities. I ordered two lightly salted pretzels and two bottles of water and slowly headed back to our table.

"I hope you like pretzels." I smiled and placed the pretzel and bottle of water in front of him with trembling hands.

"Would you look at that guys. Cullen already has his woman trained to fetch his meals for him." My heart dropped at the sound of Reggie's voice. He and his lackeys had made it over to where we were sitting. I stole a glimpse of Edward's face and he remained cool and nonchalant. "What's the matter Cullen? Spend all your money on that hairdo and clothes, now your girlfriend has buy your food?"

"Reggie, I'm sorry, but if you're looking for a fight you may as well go someplace else." Edward didn't raise his voice. Reggie was silent for a few moments; his brood stood behind him anxiously waiting to see what their leader would do. I stared at the table and licked my lips nervously.

"You don't want to do that," Edward warned. I raised my questioning eyes to Edward. His grim look was evident that he had meant his warning. What Reggie wasn't supposed to do — I didn't have a clue.

"What was that Cullen?" Reggie asked with a look of surprise on his face. Edward remained silent and kept his eyes on me. "I don't have time to waste on you losers. You're a bunch of pathetic low lives. Watson and the Cullen freaks." He and all his friends laughed loudly.

"Poor Reggie." Edward picked up his pretzel and started pulling it apart in little pieces. Reggie had turned to walk away but froze when Edward said his name. "He has to bully other people to make himself feel dominate. Can you imagine living with a father who expects you to be an expert at everything, while he goes around and bangs any female who lets him — and even then some who don't. Then to have a mother who is so disappointed she remains incoherent a majority of the time due to her overindulgence of alcohol, not to mention the few cover-ups of her suicide attempts."

I stared wordlessly across at him, my heart pounding. The whole time he was talking, I had been steadily shaking my head for him to stop. He had to have known they were listening. Reggie was not the type of person you wanted to pick a fight with.

"Son of a bitch! I'm going to break every bone in your mother…" Reggie hurled himself in Edward's direction. I jumped up from the table to scream for Edward to move, but before I could even get the words out, he was preparing for Reggie's assault.

I watched through spread fingers as Reggie swung his right hand at Edward's face. Edward showed no sign of concern and ducked, avoiding the hit. Before Reggie regained his balance, Edward grabbed his bottle of water from the table and splashed it in Reggie's face, which only infuriated him more.

Now, Reggie's face was scarlet and dripping with water. He swung again, coming back around with his left hand with more force than the last time. Edward leaned back causing Reggie to miss and stumble sideways.

Edward quickly took advantage of Reggie's position. He pulled his right arm behind him, and secured his hold by placing his forearm around Reggie's throat holding him still. All of Reggie's buddies were stunned, watching their hero fall to a "pathetic low life".

Two security guards came running from the office entrance, tasers in hand. "You two — break it up! We don't want to have to hurt anyone," they yelled.

I stood behind Edward and placed my hand on his back. "Edward, let go. They'll hurt you if you don't let go and you could go to jail." He loosened his grip and stepped back with his hands in the air showing a sign of surrender.

Reggie fell forward — red faced, wet, and coughing. He pointed a beefy finger at Edward. "I want to press charges for assault. He attacked me out of nowhere."

"That's a lie," I yelled stepping in front of Edward. "You walked up to our table. You threw the first punch; he only restrained you."

Reggie sneered, "That's your point of view, Watson. I have witnesses who say different."

I moved forward and Edward grabbed a hold of my arm to pull me back, but I stood my ground. "Think about this, Reggie: If Edward gets arrested, everyone at school will know you got your ass handed to you by a freak. Do you want that?" I met Reggie's flat, hard, passionless eyes. A slow, sinister smile formed on his lips causing my nerves to tense immediately.

"Later, Cullen." My body relaxed when he turned and walked away with his buddies.

"Young man, I suggest you leave that one alone," one of the security guards warned Edward. "He has a hot head and has gotten away with too much because of his position on the football team and because of his daddy. He doesn't fight fair. How you managed to walk away without a scratch…I'm just glad we got here when we did. I think it would be best if you and your girlfriend went ahead and left."

"No problem. Thank you, sir. Jane, are you okay?" Edward asked with concern in his eyes. I was sure my face was white as a sheet.

"Let's just leave." Edward placed his arm around me as we walked away from the food court.

"Will you promise me one thing?" I looked over at Edward and there was a distinguishable note of worry in his voice.

"Tell me what first."

"Stay away from Reggie Adams. I've humiliated him and now he's after me."

"That won't be a problem."

The security guard had been correct thinking Edward was a lucky guy to escape the fight unscathed. Though Edward was tall and appeared to be in good shape, Reggie was a powerhouse. He was the defensive star of the football team towering at 6'7 and weighing — I would guess — at least 260 pounds with zero percent body fat. If the security guards hadn't arrived when they did, Edward wouldn't have been able to hold Reggie for long. As mad as Reggie was, he would have pulverized Edward.

"You better be careful," I warned Edward as we quickly made our way outside the mall. "Reggie is crazy enough he'll try anything. Did your father tell you about his family problems?" The fact that Edward had inside information about the Adams family was incriminating against his father; it violated the patient/doctor privilege. If word got around, Dr. Cullen could find himself and the hospital in an ugly law suit.

"Carlisle doesn't gossip. I just…hear things."

"You're a snoop." I leaned against the car and faced him.

He chuckled. "I guess you could call it that."

"Any other secrets about you I should know?"

"If I told you they wouldn't be a secret — where is the fun in that?" There was a trace of laughter in his voice and his eyes were bright with merriment. We smiled, gazing at each other for a moment before he took a deep breath, stuck his hands in his jean pockets, and leaned against the car next to me.

"What are you two doing out in the cold?" Alice smiled holding three shopping bags; Jasper was behind her with five.

"Long story," Edward replied sounding bored.

"Hmm, can't wait to hear about it," Alice said giving her brother a disapproving glare.

Edward took Alice and Jasper back to the Lamborghini at the theater, then headed to my house. We talked about the movie, but said very little about his confrontation with Reggie.

"How are your parents handling the death of your grandfather?" he asked with sincerity.

"It was my mom's dad, so she's taking it much harder than the rest of us. She's dealing with the regret of not being there for him like she thinks she should've. At the same time, being back home has opened a lot of old wounds. I still haven't figured it out."

"What happens when you figure it out?"

"I hope it gives me a better understanding of her behavior. Edward, I've seen her suffer from…something that she has kept buried all my life. All I've ever been able to do is watch. I never know what to say to her." I was ineffective during her moments of frailty.

"Who says you have to _say _anything? Sometimes a hug or the touch of a hand is all a person needs to let them know they aren't alone. I'm sure just her knowing you're there is comfort enough. If your mother wants you to know, in time she will tell you; otherwise…"

"Otherwise, I should mind my own business." I smiled and took what he said into consideration.

He pulled up to my house and I inwardly cursed myself for not leaving a light on.

"When are your parents going to be home?" he asked, sharing my thoughts.

"Mom won't be back until tomorrow night and Dad…who knows."

"You shouldn't stay by yourself."

"I'm perfectly capable of handling things," I said with an air of self-confidence. My reaction seemed to amuse him.

"Okay, what if someone tries to break-in — what do you do?"

I met his gaze and accepted his challenge. "I call 911 and hide until help arrives."

"The way the snow is starting to fall — it could take them a while to get here."

"Okay, I call 911, hide _but _arm myself."

"What are you going to arm yourself with?" He appeared to enjoy the gentle sparring as much as I did.

I thought for a moment before answering. "Dad has his golf clubs in his office — I could use one of those. In fact, it might even be better if I hid in the woods."

"What?" His luminous eyes widened in astonishment. "Are you crazy? You'd probably freeze to death. Not only that, but what if something else is waiting for you in the woods?"

"Are you trying to kill me? You aren't giving me much of a chance to survive if there is someone inside _and _someone outside waiting for me. I'll just do the best I can and pray I live to see another day — how's that?"

He frowned and turned his attention back towards the house. "Not good enough."

"Why are you so worried about me staying by myself? I've been by myself before." I was excited and aggravated at his apparent concern for my safety.

"I just humiliated a guy who will — without question — try and retaliate against me."

"And that has to do with me because…"

"Because he thinks you're my girlfriend."

We both stared silently at each other; the air around us seemed electrified.

"You're over-reacting." I gripped the door handle with trembling fingers and let myself out of the car. Gingerly, I made my way across the snow covered yard with Edward following close behind. "You shouldn't worry — nothing is going to happen."

"If something _were _to happen, how would I be able to explain it to your parents? Do you think Austen would forgive me if he didn't have an older sister to torment anymore?"

I paused at the door and faced him. The amused look he had earlier was removed and replaced with genuine worry "You sound as if you really think Reggie is capable of murder."

"Maybe not intentionally, but if he was pushed…I don't want to have that hanging over my head. At least let me stay with you until your father gets home." I considered his proposal before opening the door and letting him inside.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" I asked leading him into the kitchen. I took out some lunch meat from the refrigerator and opened a loaf of bread on the counter. I placed two slices of turkey on a piece of bread and folded it over. "I'm starving. I didn't have a chance to even take a bite of my pretzel earlier." Once the disturbance had started, the food was forgotten.

"I'm fine, thank you." He walked across the room and gazed out the mullioned window.

"Suit yourself," I said stuffing it in my mouth. I was too hungry to worry about being dainty with my food. I placed the packaged meat back in the refrigerator and leaned against the counter. "You don't have to stay. Honestly, Dad will be here in a few hours." He opened his mouth to speak but the sudden ringing of the phone stopped him.

"Hello."

"Where the hell have you been?" Aaron's voice bellowed through the receiver. "I've called your cell phone at least a dozen times and it keeps going to voice mail. I finally found your mother and got your home number and I've been calling there for over three hours."

I glanced over at Edward. He had turned back around to look out the window. "I left my phone at home. Sorry."

"Thanks for calling to let me know you're still breathing."

"I've been busy trying to catch up with my classes. I've forgotten everything I had learned about geometry. It's like I have amnesia."

"I thought you were on restrictions?"

"Dad felt sorry for me and gave me a break. We went to see a movie then went to the mall."

There was a slight hesitation. "When you say 'we', are you referring to him?"

"Yes — and a couple of others," I said in a low, composed voice. Aaron had asked me not to be alone with Edward. There was a small question on whether or not he was dangerous.

"Are you crazy? Didn't we agree that you weren't going to go anywhere with him by yourself?"

"I can't discuss this right now," I whispered hurriedly.

"Why…is he there with you now?" Aaron's voice rose a couple of octaves. "Are you alone with him now?"

"I have company — I have to go."

"Jane, you're asking for troub—"

"I'll talk to you later. Bye." Aaron was still protesting when I hung up the phone and slowly turned around. Edward was sitting at the table in a relaxed position; his eyes studying me.

"You didn't have to hang up on my account."

"Oh, I can talk to him tomorrow," I replied, sitting down across from him.

"Was that your boyfriend?"

"Aaron is a friend. What made you assume he was my boyfriend?"

"Sounded like a jealous boyfriend."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't help but overhear him. He sounded irate that you were alone with another guy."

"You could hear all that?"

He casually shrugged his shoulders. "Must have been the phone volume making him sound loud." I agreed though I didn't believe him. "If you are having problems with geometry, maybe I can help."

I laughed and shook my head vigorously. "Oh no. Einstein wouldn't be able to help me. I'm terrible at math. I'll just suffer through the rest of the year and hope for the best."

"You didn't think you would be able to ice skate, but I proved you wrong. I'm a man of many talents." His smile was irresistibly devastating. Edward was so disturbing to me in every way.

I sighed and rose from the table. He followed me into Dad's study and my Geometry book was still opened where I had left it earlier. He motioned for me to take the big leather chair behind the desk, and he moved the faded green armchair next to mine. He reviewed the work I had completed and shook his head.

"Looks like you are having problems with the Pythagorean Theorem."

"I'm having problems with all of it." I felt a shudder of humiliation. I didn't have a problem with any other subject except math. People, places, words, events…all these I could associate with and found them interesting. There was nothing interesting about numbers.

"Walk me through how you got your answer." I did as he requested. When I finished, he patiently walked back over my formula and corrected my mistakes — explaining his corrections.

He had made it half-way through checking problem number six before he started lightly tapping his pencil on the paper. I had learned from the previous five problems that was his way of finding my screw-up. I was hoping I had at least done one problem right. I jumped up from the chair in frustration.

"This is pointless," I fumed and walked to the other side of the room. "There is no sense in wasting your time. I'm not going to get it."

He stood and motioned for me to stand next to him. Embarrassed by my sudden outburst, I dropped my head and walked over to him. He turned me around, placed his hands on my shoulders, and began to gently massage — moving his hands slowly in a circular motion.

"It helps if you aren't so tense," he said in a calm, soothing voice. I closed my eyes, listening to him softly hum behind me. "You're full of knots. You shouldn't be so stressed, Jane. It's not healthy for someone your age."

"It's not like I want to be stressed," I mumbled, my body relaxing under his touch.

"You're making it more difficult than it is. It's just math."

"It's not just the math, it's everything else: Mom, you, now Reggie…" His hands left my shoulders and I was suddenly conscious of my words.

"Me? Why are you stressed out because of me?"

"I…I…" I stammered as my mind raced to think of a logical reason to back my statement. "I didn't mean it the way it sounded." I turned around and he was inches from me — there was nowhere else to look but into his eyes.

"How _did _you mean it?"

I straightened my shoulders and stared unblinkingly at his perfect face. "I was just thinking Dad may not approve of you being here. I might be pushing him too far having a guy at my house without adult supervision. I'm already on restrictions — you don't want me to get in any more trouble, do you?"

"I'm sure if he knew I was here to make sure you stayed safe, he wouldn't mind."

"Then you would have to explain why I wasn't safe." We both continued to stare at each other. He sighed and backed away with a smile.

"What did you do to get in trouble to begin with?" he asked following me to the front door.

"I disobeyed orders." He gave a low chuckle. "I disagreed with my mother's assessment of a situation and followed my own instincts. I got caught and now I'm on restrictions for the rest of the year."

He openly laughed and shook his head. "You're stubborn."

"You're observant," I replied mockingly. Just as I opened the door, headlights blinded me. "Great," I moaned.

"Should I…"

"No — go ahead and leave. I'll come up with something."

Edward paused just outside the door and waved at my father who was still sitting in his vehicle watching us. "I enjoyed tonight. Maybe we can do it again — minus the drama." I was at a loss for words as his eyes lingered on my face. "I'll see you Monday. If you need me, call me."

He got in his car and pulled out of the driveway as Dad was coming in.

"Who's he?"

"Just a friend. He was helping me with Geometry."

"Oh." Dad kissed the top of my head, smiled, and walked in the house without uttering another word.


	16. Chapter 16 Confessions of an Addict

Chapter 16

Confessions of an Addict

**Authors Notes: **Title of this chapter was inspired by the song "Addiction" by Kelly Clarkson off her _Breakaway _CD. Happy reading.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I was skipping on cloud nine the Sunday following my unexpected date with Edward. He had left on good terms and indicated that a future date might be possible. Even the geometry problems couldn't bring me down. I finished the rest of the assignment using Edward's eloquent hand written formula.

Mom arrived home around noon. Dad and I helped her unload the van and I was relieved, noticing that she looked refreshed. Maybe the trip to Forks had done her some good after all. I retreated to my room giving her and Dad some time alone, and allowing myself to work on a new painting.

I pulled from my memory the scenery of the beach at La Push: the orange sunset over of the dark water, the stone covered ground leading to the waves that endlessly crashed on the shore. My hand moved with precession as the images played across my mind. I was faintly aware of the knock on my door and mumbled for the person to enter.

"Here are some of your clothes that were left in the laundry room." Mom entered with an arm full of jeans and t-shirts.

"You can put them on the bed — I'll get them in a little bit," I said over my shoulder not wanting to lose my perfect vision of La Push.

"Did Aaron Uley ever talk to you yesterday?"

"Uh-huh."

"You two have become pretty good friends, huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"Did you have any problems getting the school work you missed?"

"Uh-uh."

"How is your foot?"

I sighed and realized Mom wasn't going to quit with the ninety-nine questions. I wiped the excess paint off my brush, placed it in the glass jar of water on the dresser, then covered my unfinished painting. Mom placed my clothes on the hanger and I stood next to her hanging them in the closet.

"My foot is much better, thank you. Did you get everything taken care of in Forks?"

"Yes." We continued with the small talk until we ran out of clothes. Mom sat down on my bed and smiled at me. "How have you been holding up? Anything you want to talk about? It seems like forever since we've spent some time together."

I walked past her and turned my old wooden, pastel blue chair around to face her and sat down.

"I'm doing great. The kids are growing like weeds. Of course my darling husband has gone on another one of his journeys to find King Arthur's hidden treasure. I hope when the children get older I can venture with him again; we did have such fun escaping death traps and villains."

Mom gave me an impassive stare. "You're such a smart ass. I'm trying to have a mother/daughter moment."

"I appreciate that — I really do, but what is there to talk about? It's not like my life is _that _interesting. I mean — it's quite laughable that I'm even on restrictions."

Mom smiled and rolled her eyes. "Okay, maybe I over-reacted. You did disobey me, but the rest of the year might be pushing it. I think you may have learned your lesson by living with the injuries you received."

"Lesson learned." I gave Mom a shy smile back.

"What painting are you working on?"

"You'll see when I'm finished." I didn't like showing off my unfinished work. Mom was my biggest fan and I enjoyed surprising her. She had several of my finished projects hanging in her bookstore. We started making it a game when I was eleven: I would present the painting to her and exchange it for books. I wasn't certain she would be pleased with me choosing La Push for my latest painting.

She walked over to my bookshelf and, as if reading my mind, picked up some of the rocks Aaron had collected for me from the beach. "La Push was quite charming, wasn't it?"

"Very different from Florida beaches."

"Yes, very different." Her lips turned up forming a small smile. "I had forgotten just how special that place was. I spent the last half of my senior year on that beach. It was the only place I felt safe." There was a faint tremor in her voice as though some emotion had touched her and her smile slowly faded.

"Safe from what?"

Mom was quiet and walked to the window. "Jane, you should lock your window when you shut it. Just because you're on the second floor, doesn't mean someone can't come in."

"That's funny — I haven't had it opened." She turned and stared at me. "Well, maybe I just don't remember doing it. Sorry."

She walked over and kissed me on the forehead. "I'll let you get back to your work. Your father forgot something at his office and he's going to bring pizza home for dinner. We can never eat enough pizza, huh?" Her hand brushed my cheek and she smiled before turning towards the door to leave. I had slowly floated down from cloud nine and was pacing on cloud seven. I knew I had to show her what I found in Forks, but was terrified of not only her reaction — but her answer.

Awkwardly, I cleared my throat. "Mom, there is something I wanted to talk to you about. Do you have minute?" _Please say not now, please say not now, please…_

"Sure." _Damn!_ She walked back in and sat on the bed. Her brown eyes looked into mine giving me her full attention. "What's up?"

I turned in my chair and opened my dresser draw to pull out the white envelope. "I found something at Grandpa's. It's some pictures and I was wondering who the guy was."

I was unable steady my hand as I handed her the envelope. Her eyes widened with concern as she took the paper from me. Slowly, she pulled out the pictures. The envelope slipped off her lap and floated to the floor. Her face paled and her eyes never blinked as her trembling hands rotated the pictures.

"Wh-where d-did you f-find these?" she asked in whisper.

I had been holding my breath while watching her. My mouth was suddenly dry and I had to forcibly swallow a couple of times before I could answer. "There was a loose floorboard in your old bedroom. I-I got curious. Did you forget you put them there?"

Tears glistened on her pale face as she slowly shook her head. She said in a choked voice, "I didn't. I thought he took them. He must have…" She hastily wiped her face with one hand, while the other still held a tight grip on the pictures. "Was there anything else?" she asked not raising her eyes to mine.

I rose from my chair and picked up the envelope at her feet and placed it next to her on the bed. "A pair of plane tickets to Jacksonville."

"Besides the envelope, was there…was there anything else?"

My eyes flickered to my stereo; I had yet to remove the CD I had found. "No — that was all." I moved next to the window and waited for her breathing and hands to steady. "So…who is he?"

"Someone I'd like to forget."

"Is he the ex-boyfriend Grandpa said broke your heart?"

Her eyes darted my direction. "Did he tell you about that?"

I quickly shook my head. "He mentioned something to Dad about a guy who broke your heart and that's why you sometimes act the way you do."

She gave a short, tired laugh. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"I just…I worry about you — a lot. It would help if I knew for certain you weren't going to crack-up on me, or that your behavior isn't hereditary. I mean…is this something I'm going to have to deal with?" I wasn't sure I was making any sense, and I knew I sounded very selfish; however, fear and anger overtook my emotions.

"It's not hereditary, and I don't plan on having a break-down anytime soon." She motioned for me to sit back down on the chair. I hung my head as I moved across the room, sat down, and faced her. "Almost twenty-one years ago, my life changed dramatically. I lived in Phoenix with Nan Renee and she married Phil. I felt like I was holding her back from having the life she deserved with him, and moved in the middle of my junior year to Forks to live with Grandpa Charlie.

"There was a guy whom I became infatuated…obsessed with. I didn't think I had a chance, but for some reason he took a liking to me. We became very close. I was elated; I had to be with him twenty-four/seven. We had the same classes together, we hung out at lunch and break together, he would pick me up for school, take me to work, pick me up, and take me home. He even…" She stopped herself and quickly glanced at the window. "We spent every waking moment together."

"Is that the guy in the pictures?" She gave a tense nod of consent. "What happened?"

"There was a…an incident on my eighteenth birthday. I can't — don't want to talk about it, but after that he became distant. We started spending time alone, not because I wanted to. Finally, one day he drove me home and told me we had to talk. I followed him into the woods next to my house and that's when he told me that he and his family were leaving." She rose from the bed and walked to the window with the pictures still clutched in her hand. "I told him I would go with them, but he said I couldn't. When I started pleading for him to let me…God, I'll never forget his words, 'I don't want you to come.'" She sighed and turned to face me. In her eyes, I could see that the words still haunted her. "It had been a game to him; our love meant nothing. He told me I wasn't good for him, and even though deep down I always knew that — hearing him say it tore a hole in my chest."

"Do you know where he is now? Have you heard from him?"

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "No. He told me he wouldn't be back. 'It would be as if I never existed' was what he told me. He was wrong. He may have hid or destroyed the material things that could have reminded me of him, but he couldn't erase it from my memory. I wish he would have been able to. He was everywhere I went. I started hearing his voice at the first sign of danger. When I realized that, I started acting reckless just for a glimpse of him. He used to tell me I was his type of heroin, but he was my air; I couldn't breath without him. I fell into a deep depression and Charlie threatened to send me away — he was worried I wasn't going to get better. After I graduated, I realized he was right. That's when I moved to live with Nan Renee in Jacksonville and a year later met your father. It's a wonder he stuck around."

"What was wrong with Jacob Black? He told me you two dated and he proposed to you."

"Jacob is very special to me. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have been strong enough to make it. He helped put my heart together again as best as he could, but even his love wasn't enough. There was something about Jacob that would always remind me of Edward, and as long as I was constantly reminded of him — I knew I would never be able to move forward."

"Edward?" I whispered

"Edward Cullen. His parents died when he was young, and he was adopted by Carlisle and Esme Cullen. He had two brothers and sisters: Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice who were all adopted as well. They treated me like part of the family and I loved them like my own. Jane, are you okay?"

My clouds evaporated quickly and I went falling fast towards earth except I never landed; I phased through the ground and continued non-stop to Hell.

"It's nothing — it's the paint. Are you okay…now?"

She smiled. "Am I over him, yes. I am deeply in love with your father. He and I have two beautiful, intelligent kids together. The only thing I would change about my past is never getting involved with him. He was right when he told me I didn't belong in his world."

"His world?"

"There were too many complications. It's hard to explain. His family was very…different…than what most people are familiar with. I can't explain it…just don't worry about it — it's ancient history."

"Does he have anything to do with why you act…strange sometimes? Was he ever violent?"

She began to laugh gently. "Jane, there are some things that are hard to explain and no matter how hard you try — it still sounds unbelievable. He was never violent with me, but his family knew people who were violent. Then there was always the possibility of he himself loosing control…. Now that I have you guys, I just want to be cautious. Nothing for you to worry about — I mean it's been twenty years. What are the chances of anything happening now? I just can't believe you found these old pictures."

"What are you going to do with them?"

"Burn them along with those old plane tickets." She put the pictures back in the envelope with the tickets.

"What did the tickets have to do with him?"

"His parents bought them for my birthday."

"Wow, you must have liked them if you let them get you a gift," I said trying to lighten the mood.

"I didn't have a say in the matter. Anyway, I'll let you get back to your art. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" She took me in her arms for a tight hug.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to take a walk outside and get some fresh air before Dad comes home," I mumbled against her shoulder.

Somehow my shaky legs made it down the stairs without falling. I grabbed my heavy jacket and cell phone, and quickly exited out the back door. I breathed a sigh of relief when Aaron answered.

"She confirmed it."

"Who confirmed what?" he asked.

"The guy in the picture is the exact same guy from school. They used to date and he tore her heart out when he left; told her he never loved her. He's pure evil. How can that be possible? I'm usually a good judge of character. What am I going to do?"

"This is too weird."

"Tell me about it."

"Do you realize that you are attracted to your mother's ex-boyfriend? He's old enough to be your father. Actually, the guy's old enough to be your great-grandfather. Hey, your great-grandmother Swan was from Forks, I wonder if she dated him too?"

"Yeah, your hilarious. I'm freaking out here and you want to make jokes on my heart's behalf."

"Well, I do have some good news for you," Aaron said when he was finally able to stop laughing.

"I'm scared to ask what."

"I don't think you have to worry about him wanting your blood."

"Excuse me? Do you still think he's a vampire? That doesn't make any sense." My head started to throb and I plopped down on a fallen tree in the backyard next to the lake. Because of the sudden onset of cold weather, all the vegetation had started to die.

"What about any of this makes sense? Listen, I found a spiral notebook that belongs to my mom. She's recorded everything that our grandfathers learned from their fathers who learned from their fathers. One of the stories talks about a meeting between Chief Black and a leader of a coven of vampires who appeared to be refined. They could have killed our people, but instead their leader made a treaty with Chief Black. They promised not to hunt on our lands and in return we would not expose them to the public. Their leader confessed that they didn't drink human blood — only animal blood. They weren't like the rest of their kind."

"So…they aren't vicious?"

"I'm not saying they won't drain you dry if you push them the wrong way, but they don't hunt humans."

"What makes you think that story has anything to do with the Cullens?"

"Because that was the name of the coven; their leader was a Carlisle Cullen."

"I'm going to wake-up and find myself back at my home in Florida. Things like this don't happen in real life, Aaron." My mind was slowly grasping the truth; the Cullens weren't human. Everything that people believed to be true about fictional vampires was false.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not too excited to think about these stupid tales to be factual either. Chief Black was descended from a wolf."

"Of course. The story wouldn't be complete without a werewolf. All we need now is a monster like Frankenstein, and a creature from the Black Lagoon to complete this nightmare."

"Jane, your over doing it. Vampires probably came up with those creatures to throw people off their trail; you make some things _too _unbelievable — they _all _start looking too unbelievable. Chances are they also came up with a lot of the mumbo-jumbo about what a vampire is supposed to look like and act like."

"So what, the wolf and vampire are buddies?"

"Hell no, they hate each other. But the wolves didn't want to fight them because they were outnumbered, which meant they were outmatched. The Cullens didn't want to fight because I figure they thought it would lead to senseless bloodshed. Anyway, I guess I'll have something to look forward to," Aaron said sounding nervous.

"What do you mean by that?"

"My great-great-grandfather was second in command to Chief Black." I remained silent trying to understand what Aaron was trying to tell me. "I'm a werewolf."

I was unsuccessful at controlling my laughter. "Have you turned into one yet?" I asked trying to catch my breath.

"No."

"Then how do you know any of this is true?"

"Jane, you know it's true. I don't know why I haven't done…whatever it is that they do — and I honestly am not looking forward to it. The movies make it look painful and how can it not be? How does my human form change into a dog without causing extreme pain?" Aaron's voice sounded panicked.

"Isn't there someone you can talk to about it?"

"Sure, I can talk to Dad or Mr. Black — they were my age when the Cullens were here last. Eventually I'll have to talk to them. I guess I'm a lot like you were when you didn't want to talk to your mother because you were afraid to hear the truth. This is going to complicate my life."

Suddenly, everything started fitting together perfectly: Mom and Jacob Black's conversation, Edward's excuses, my latest discussion with Mom and her constant fear. _So shouldn't I be scared? _I asked myself. The truth was I felt more at ease than I had since moving to North Pole from Florida. There were no more secrets; everything was out in the open even though all parties involved wasn't aware of what was going on.

"How is it going to complicate your life?" I asked Aaron.

"I couldn't find a date before. What girl is going to be attracted to a mutt?" Aaron chuckled. I could tell he was nervous talking about it, but he was taking it in stride.

"I know a lot of girls who would be more than willing to go out with a hunk like yourself. You have that wild, uncanny animal instinct, and besides you're not a mutt — you're a purebred."

"Wow, you know how to make a man feel good."

"I try to make you feel as good as you make me feel." We laughed together. "I guess we'll have to help each other out through this , huh?"

"It'll be nice to have someone to talk to other than the people I grew up with. I just hate that you're way up there and I'm way down here." Both of us were quiet for a moment. "Now that you know, what's your next step?"

"I don't know. I haven't been able to think past his vampirism."

"Are you going to tell him who your mother is?"

"I don't think he has a right to know." I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing the condition my mother was left in and suffered by his act of rejection.

"I wish you would leave them alone, but whatever you decide — please be careful."

"I promise, I will."

We said our good-byes and I went inside. After dinner, I excused myself to my room and laid across my bed to contemplate how to handle the situation I currently found myself facing. Though I hated how he treated my mother, there was still no denying the feelings I had for Edward. The way she depicted him was not the same Edward Cullen who seemed utterly distraught when talking about a past love; the love he felt for my mother. She said she didn't care for him anymore, but could the same be said for him? I felt an instant squeezing hurt and clamped my lips together to imprison a sob. The truth was painfully clear: I was in love with a vampire and a werewolf had quickly become my best friend. I was following in my mother's footsteps and there were no other paths available. Hereditary be damned.


	17. Chapter 17 Betrayal

Chapter 17

Betrayal

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Monday I wasn't sure how I was going to respond when I came face to face with the Cullens. Now that I knew they were vampires changed my perception of them drastically. I figured the best solution would be to act as if nothing had changed. It wasn't like I had any other friends to hang out with. Besides, they hadn't killed me yet, and Aaron was _almost _certain they didn't drink human blood. I would continue with their game and pretend they were human — for now.

I arrived at school two minutes before first period. The white BMW sat in its usual parking spot. I had less than an hour to calm my nerves before greeting the first Cullen — Alice.

Second period, I slowly walked into history class relieved to find Alice's seat empty. I sat at my desk and placed my laptop in front of me. Without having to look up, I could feel Alice's eyes on me as she entered the room. She barely made a sound as she took her seat next to me.

"How are you this wonderful Monday?" she asked giving me a bright smile. My eyes zoomed in on her ultra white teeth. _Ha, no fangs_, I laughed to myself.

"It's a Monday, can't say it's wonderful."

"Every day is what you make it." Slowly her smile faded. I was beginning to worry that she may have some kind of special ability — such telepathy — but then a thunderous laughter made its way into the classroom and Reggie Adams walked in with his right hand man, Kyle Mooneyham. Reggie's laugh stopped immediately and he looked my direction. A cold chill moved down my spine as his beady eyes met mine and gave me a slow, deliberate wink.

"Don't worry about him, Jane," Alice's voice was stern. "He's just trying to get under your skin and scare you."

"He's doing a good job of it." I didn't like Reggie's look; he was sinister and sneaky. _Could he be more dangerous than the Cullens — a family of vampires? _I asked myself while I kept my eyes focused on my laptop, starting a new day of history notes. I shook off another round of chill bumps when my answer was yes; towards me, Reggie could be lethally more dangerous than the Cullens. However, I knew if push came to shove the fangs would come out and that was what terrified me the most.

After class, Alice followed me to my locker and then we walked to our usual hangout near the woods. The air was getting colder and snow threatened to fall. I inwardly questioned how much longer we would be able to keep our secluded area before nature took over.

I kept my eyes to the ground and instinctively looked up at the sound of Edward's laughter. His laughter was marvelous and catching and I had a feeling it had been rare in the last twenty years.

"What's so funny?" Alice asked, happily skipping into the arms of her waiting Jasper.

"They're overly amused that three guys last period approached me and asked me to go with them to the dance Saturday night." Rosalie never cracked a smile.

"If you wouldn't try to be so charming and pleasant towards them, maybe they wouldn't be so enchanted." Emmett laughed and gave Rosalie a squeeze.

"Maybe I'll take one of them up on their offer. How does that sound?" The look she gave him would have sent the devil himself running. Emmett just laughed.

"You'd probably end up killing him." While the rest of the family laughed, I thought it could possibly happen. Out of all the Cullens, Rosalie was the one who scared me the most. "But my dear," Emmett continued, "you don't have to worry about them. I'll be your escort."

They all seemed to be in high spirits and we continued talking about school and the world around us like normal people.

After last period, Edward lingered behind and accompanied me to my locker.

"Are you going to the game Friday night?" he asked as I toyed with my lock.

"Uh-uh, you?"

"No. I'm not too interested in high school football."

I threw the books I needed to take home into my backpack and secured my locker.

"Here, let me carry that for you." He reached out and took the backpack from my hand. I offered him a courtesy smile and walked with him outside to my car.

"What about the dance Saturday night?" he asked.

"What about it?"

He cleared his throat and smiled his brilliant smile. "Would you like to go to the dance with me?"

I was at a loss for words. His sudden request took me by surprise. My heart began to pound faster, trying to keep my blood pumping to prevent me from fainting. I had wanted more than friends in the beginning and now it appeared he wanted the same. However, my mother had told me what he was like — she had first hand experience with his dashing ways, and my heart resumed its normal cadence.

"I have to take Austen and his friend trick-or-treating."

"Why can't you do both? I could go with you trick-or-treating, then when we're finished we could head over to the dance?"

I laughed. "Uh-uh. You don't want to spend three hours going door to door with Austen and John. They threaten to haunt the people who give them anything other than candy."

"You're joking?"

"Seriously."

"Does it work?" His eyes twinkled with amusement.

"So far. The people laugh and the ones who had planned on handing out something other than candy will go back inside and find them something sweet like snack cakes. I distinctly remember our first year when we went to an older lady's house near the college in Fairbanks. The only thing she had to offer other than an apple and orange were cherry flavored cough drops. Austen and John declined her offer and warned her they would be back next year and she better not disappoint them. I was totally embarrassed and apologized profusely. The next year when we went back to her house, while all the other kids still got an apple and orange, Austen and John received loads of sour candies. That's a true story," I insisted. Edward was laughing and shaking his head. "What if I just meet you at the dance?" I offered. "The Porter's only live a couple of blocks away from the school. I'll stop by after I drop the hellions off."

"You're not afraid to show up at the dance with me, are you?"

I took my backpack from him and heaved it on the passenger's seat. "What I'm afraid of is you spending so much time with Austen. He would turn you against me in no time."

"I doubt that could ever happen." I made the mistake of looking directly into his eyes. Every time my gaze met his, my heart turned over in response.

"I'll just meet you at the dance," I said, quickly getting into my car. He shut my door and leaned in. His scent was intoxicating and I resisted the urge to lean over and give him a quick kiss.

"There's no chance of me changing your mind?"

I slowly backed the car and rolled up my window. I left him standing alone, smiling, with a look of surprise on his face.

Austen and John were waiting for me outside the elementary school. I promised Mom I would take them to the bookstore so she could take them down the block to get a Halloween costume. They sat in the backseat and chatted nonstop about video games and some shows on television. I thought of how my life used to be easy — before moving to North Pole.

Mom's bookstore was small. It was located in downtown Fairbanks, and she only employed two other people who happened to be college students. Business was okay; she mostly worked to keep herself doing something. When we lived in Florida, she had worked at Mr. Newman's bookstore before I was born. He retired when I turned seven and sold the business to her for a price she couldn't refuse.

During one of Dad's many interviews at the university, he found the small vacant store in Fairbanks while window shopping. He contacted the owner and as soon as he knew he had the job, he called and rented the store. He surprised her with it on our first day in North Pole. When he told her it was hers, she blushed and was speechless, then started crying. He laughed and wrapped her in his arms. He had always been good at knowing what she wanted.

The bell on the door jingled when I stepped inside. Mom came around the corner smiling holding a stack of books.

"Oh, is it that time already?" she asked, sitting them on the counter. "While I'm gone, will you finish stocking the shelves? I received three shipments of new releases and haven't been able to get around to them. Today has been unusually busy for some reason."

"Sure."

"When I come back, why don't you go down and look for you a costume?"

"Mom, I'm a little too old to be trick-or-treating."

"I thought maybe you and Mackenzie would be going to the Homecoming Dance. What are they naming it — the Homeaween Dance?" she asked with a goofy grin on her face. I couldn't help but to laugh.

"Yeah, that's what they're calling it. Mack is going with Tyler." Mom gave me a sympathized look. "You know I don't care for social events."

"What about that new guy from school? Your father said he was at the house over the weekend helping you with your schoolwork."

My blood froze. I quickly turned from her gaze and grabbed the books on the counter. "We rarely speak to each other. Besides, I don't think he's interested in me that way."

"Why don't you ask him and find out?"

"And be ultimately humiliated by his rejection and then have it spread all over school? No thanks."

"Shame Aaron Uley doesn't live closer. I'm sure he would take you." My cheeks burned and she chuckled leaving me in peace.

I could only imagine my mother's reaction if Edward showed up at our front door dressed as a vampire to take me to the Homeaween Dance. I kept myself busy stocking the shelves with the new books that arrived. A few college students came in looking for one of the new releases. They bought it along with a couple of other books. By the time Mom returned, I had completed putting out all the books and was sitting behind the counter reading. She let me take home the book for my payment.

For the rest of the week, I spent break and lunch in the gym working on the Homeaween Dance decorations. Though I wasn't on any kind of committee, Mr. Drummond requested my assistance to help with the painting and art. While some of the students worked on the Styrofoam tombstones, I worked on the backdrop; the cemetery. It was a huge, time consuming project, but I was thankful for the distraction. I only saw Alice and Edward during our classes together.

I never had any intention of going to the dance. Now that I was aware of what type of games he enjoyed playing, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't be another one of his victims. There was no telling over the course of twenty years how many women were left in the same state my mother had been left in. He probably scouted areas for girls just like me; gullible girls, inexperienced girls who considered themselves as outsiders because they never seemed to fit in anywhere. Except this time he had made a mistake. I wasn't going to believe his lies. Whatever insecurities I may have had, I put them in the back of my mind. I knew all his compliments and promises would be fictitious. Though I wanted to believe every word — I wanted to be special to him — I couldn't risk my heart or my mind. If he got angry because I stood him up, then I was prepared to go throughout the rest of my high school life alone. It was worth the sacrifice to not follow in my mother's footsteps. Besides, I wouldn't totally be alone; there was always Aaron. Even though he was over a thousand miles away, I only needed to hear his voice to make me smile.

Halloween, Mom and Dad headed out to a party at the president of the university's house. Mom looked beautiful in her angel costume and I laughed at Dad's red devil tail. Austen and John were going as ninjas. I was to drop them off at John's after we went to every house in North Pole and most of the ones on the south end of Fairbanks.

We finished a little before eight and I promised to take the guys for burgers at one of the fast food joints in North Pole. They were sitting in the back seat of the car counting their candy when my phone started ringing. I expected to see Edward's number, but was startled when Mackenzie's name popped up.

"Mack, is that you?" The last time we had talked had been at the skating rink.

"I hate to bother you, but are you coming to the dance?"

"I hadn't planned on it, why?"

"It's your friend, Alice." Mackenzie sounded nervous.

"What about her?"

"She wanted me to call you. She said she needed to see you — that it was an emergency. She was crying and hysterical, then she ran into the school. I think I saw her go into Mrs. Sims room."

"She was crying? Is the rest of her family there?" I wasn't surprised Edward had stood me up. I expected it from him; he was a heart breaker.

"Yeah, they're here. That's the thing. The guy she's with —"

"Jasper."

"He was gyrating around the blond sister."

"Rosalie? Why would that upset Alice?" She didn't seem to be the jealous type and I had never seen any hint of attraction between Jasper and Rosalie. He only had eyes for Alice and if he ever gave any indication that he was attracted to Rosalie, I'm sure Emmett would have put a stop to it. If not him, I was sure Alice would have been able to handle it.

"They weren't just dancing normal, Jane." There Mackenzie went again; her tone always reminded me of a mother correcting a toddler who made the mistake of trying to put a square object through a circular hole. "They were dirty dancing. I'm talking…everyone was turning red."

"Where was Emmett?" I asked, not believing what I was hearing.

"Emmett was flirting with Pamela Jackson in the corner." Pamela Jackson was the head cheerleader and had already slept with every guy on the football and basketball teams. She wasn't known to be picky. "Edward looked annoyed, sitting at the table while Alice cried. I walked outside to get some fresh air and she followed me. I could hardly understand what she was saying because she was crying so hard. I tried to stop her but she ran into the school."

Oh God, poor Alice. I glanced in my rearview mirror at Austen and John. Their stomachs would have to wait. "I'll be there in a little bit. I'm just coming back into North Pole from Fairbanks." I hung up the phone and threw it on the seat. "Guys, I've got to go to the school real quick — something has come up. It shouldn't take me long and we can eat afterwards, I promise."

It was hard to grasp what Mackenzie had described. _Can vampires even get drunk? _I wondered thinking someone may have spiked the punch. I became excited and upset when Mackenzie confirmed that Edward had indeed showed up to the dance. With Alice in pieces, I would probably have to see him and then explain why I wasn't in a costume.

The lights were flashing from inside the gym, and the music was deafening when I pulled up to the school. The parking lot was full and I had to park close to the highway. Mackenzie waved and rushed over to me. She was dressed like a dancer from the 1920's era — wearing a very short red Flapper dress with and a boa headband.

"Sorry to have bothered you," she said giving a nervous smile. An oddly primitive warning sounded in my brain. Once again, I shrugged it off as paranoia.

"Not a problem. You said you saw Alice run into Mrs. Sims room?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the door I saw open."

I turned to Austen and John. "I want you both to go inside the gym and stay close to the refreshment table. Do not leave the refreshment table unless I come in and direct you otherwise. Do you understand?" Austen looked mad to be at a school function, and John couldn't take his eyes off Mackenzie. "Austen, I don't want to have to hunt your down later."

"Just take care of this emergency of yours. I'm starving." He walked off towards the gym and pulled a dazed John behind him.

"I'll look after them," Mackenzie promised.

"Are the rest of the Cullens still inside?"

"I haven't seen any of them come out."

If the punch had been spiked and it caused some strange reaction in vampires, I didn't want to be alone with Alice in case she came to her senses and decided to take Jasper and Rosalie's betrayal out on me. I reached in my purse and pulled out my handy nail file and slipped it into the front pocket of my jeans. Then I headed towards the school, glancing once over my shoulder at the doors of the gym.

The school was eerie in the dark. The exit sign flashed red behind me as my tennis shoes squeaked over the wax floor. I listened closely as I passed the rooms leading to Mrs. Sims's room. I stood outside her door and didn't hear anything. I peeped through the small window, but the room was still dark; the only light inside was the read exit light that hung over the door illuminating the room. I eased the door open, my palms had already begun to sweat and my heart started beating faster than normal.

"Alice?" I whispered stepping inside. "Alice, it's Jane." I had taken three steps inside when the door slammed shut behind me. My breath caught as I whirled around, almost falling over.

"Hello, Watson — long time no see."

I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. No vampires were going to attack me — it was only Reggie.

"God, you scared me half to death." I laughed at myself but slowly the panic came back. Reggie had that sinister grin on his face, which only looked more evil under the red lights. "Where is Alice?"

"I assume she's still dancing the night away with that blond freak of hers." Reggie took a few casual steps towards me and I stumbled backwards.

"I thought…" My senses had warned me, but I had ignored them. Now I was going to pay the price. "Mackenzie set me up," I whispered.

Reggie kept the smile on his face as he continued to approach me. "That bitch will do anything to fit in. And how gullible are you to believe her?" He chuckled in a way that caused my stomach to churn. I was sure that Mackenzie would continue to remain outside the gym near the school to prevent anyone from entering until Reggie was finished with me.

"Reggie, you've got this all wrong." I steadied my nerves and continued to back away from him. My only chance to make it was getting out the door. If I could just keep him away long enough to give me a head start…. "If this is about Edward, you're wasting your time. I'm not his girlfriend. I'm barely friends with him."

"Could've fooled me."

"Yeah, well — he can fool a lot of people. He's not interested in me the way you think he is." That realization still hurt, but now was not the time for a pity party. I had made it to the end of the row next to the window. I could hear the music steadily flowing from the gym, but didn't dare take my eyes off Reggie.

"I've seen the way he looks at you, Watson. I'm not a fool and I don't like being jerked around like one. He humiliated me in front of my friends, and I'm looking for some pay-back. Sorry babe, but you're a lot easier to control than him."

"So, attacking me is supposed to accomplish what?" I reflected with some bitterness. If I wasn't going to allow Edward to make me a victim, I sure as hell didn't like the thought of Reggie making me one. "If he cares about me as much as you think he does — how do you think he will react when he finds out you did something to me? Trust me Reggie, he and his family are not people you want to piss off. Just let me walk out and we can forget this ever happened. No one will get hurt." I backed up to the front of the room — two rows away from Reggie.

"How thoughtful of you to think of me at a time like this." His voice was heavy with sarcasm. "Who's to say I'm going to leave you breathing to be able to tell him it was me who attacked you? I'm like a tiger, Jane. I like to play with my food before I devour it."

A sheer black fright swept through me. I began to shake as the fearful images built in my mind. Reggie wasn't going to just break a bone or give me a few knots on my head; he planned on taking _everything _from me including my life. He was the devil incarnate.

My eyes glanced to the door and I wasted no time. There was no sense in trying to prolong the cat and mouse game. No one, except Mackenzie, knew where I was — which meant I was on my own with a monster. I built up my courage and ran for the door. Desks started toppling over behind me as Reggie cursed and took off after me.

I was able to open the door before a hard shove between my shoulder blades sent me flying across the hall. The side of my face met the metal lockers with a force that sent birds flying around my head. I sank to my knees and strong arms roughly grabbed me around my waist and spun me around, pushing me hard back into the lockers.

Reggie's right arm blocked my exit on my left side. I could feel sweat running down the side of my face even though the rest of me was cold as ice. His left hand came up and clasped the back of my neck, squeezing so hard I thought it would snap.

"Very stupid of you." He was so close to me now; I could smell the liquor on his breath and noticed his pupils was the size of a pin. His left hand loosened, then began to move slowly down my right side, seductively over the buttons on my shirt. "I'm going to enjoy this more than I should." I reached into my pocked and pulled out my nail file and held it against his chest. His gaze dropped down and he chuckled. "What are you planning on doing with that?"

"I don't want to hurt you Reggie, but I will if I have to. You can let me go now, and I swear I won't tell a soul."

"Are you threatening me with a nail file?" He laughed harder leaving spit hanging on his lower lip. "What are you going to do, give me a bad manicure?"

"I…I don't want to hurt you. Just lower your left arm and let me walk out of here — please?"

Reggie's eyes slowly raked over my body and I instantly felt dirty. "I only want a piece of what Cullen has already had. If it's good enough — which I'm sure it is — I might even save some for later," he said. He leaned forward, ignoring the nail file, and licked the left side of my face.

I went into survival mode. Reggie might kill me, but he was going to have to fight me. Without so much as a hesitation, I tightly held onto the nail file and jabbed it as hard as I could into his left shoulder. It went all the way in until only the handle I was holding was sticking out.

"Son of bitch!"

I stood staring at my work and a small smile ignited my face. That brief pause was a mistake. From out of no where, I found myself flying down the hallway and the left side of my face burned. There was no time to waste thinking about what had happened. I scrambled to my feet, my shoes slipping on the wax floor, and took off stumbling forward towards the back of the school. There was more than one exit door in this God forsaken school.

I rounded the corner and turned to my left, then turned back to the right, and ran full speed ahead to the doors that led out to our picnic table near the woods. Reggie's shoes was quickly gaining speed behind me, but I knew that if he caught me — this time it would be over.

My mind raced ahead to the next step. I made a plan that once I was outside, I would run into the woods. I would rather take my chances with woodland animals rather than the animal I was facing now. Edward had told me before that something deadlier could be waiting in the woods for me, but knowing what was behind me — I seriously doubted it.

My spirits soared as I took two more steps and hit the bars on the door to enter the outside world. Unfortunately, my eyes were so focused on the red exit sign, they never saw the heavy chain with the large lock around the bars. My hope was lost; there was no time for a plan B — there wasn't even any time to turn around. Reggie grabbed the back of my shirt along with some strands of hair, and jerked me back from the door with such ferocity that the buttons on my shirt popped off, and I went sailing backwards. The back of my head bounced off the concrete floor and a headache like none I had ever had overtook me.

My vision became blurred and I was faintly aware of Reggie on top me, cursing as his left hand clamped around my throat. His right hand went to work on undoing the button then the zipper of my jeans, while his lips explored my exposed skin.

I continued to fight with what I had left in me. I ran my hand up his left arm to the place I had stabbed him and I dug my finger into the hole. My other free hand scratched his face and pulled at his hair. What was sick and sadistic, was the more I struggled — the more he seemed to enjoy it.

He tightened his grip around my throat blocking off all air entering my body. My struggle became weak and I closed my eyes. _If only I had agreed to let Edward escort me to the dance, none of this would have happened, _I thought sadly as I lost consciousness.


	18. Chapter 18 Out of Control

Chapter 18

Out of Control

**Author's Notes: **Let me take a moment and thank everyone who has left such wonderful and positive reviews. Your encouragement and intrigue has been an inspiration. Happy reading;)

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV **

Mom, Dad, and Austen were grieving by my grave site. My eyes roamed over the small group of people standing around: Aaron was there along with his parents, Mr. Black, the Porters, and a few of my parents' friends. I was upset, not because I was dead, but because the one person I was looking for wasn't there.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The preacher concluded the service, and everyone left me alone — staring at my tombstone.

I sensed a presence behind me and slowly turned. Edward gently brushed my hair away from my face and smiled. My breath caught in my lungs when I noticed that my heart no longer thumped uncontrollably around him.

He laughed as if reading my mind. "I'm sure I will miss it more than you," he said jokingly. "It's not so bad — being dead. I'll make sure you only have to experience it once."

"I guess I have a lot I have to learn, huh?" He gathered me into his arms and held me snugly.

"Yes, but I'm a great teacher, remember?"

"_Edward!"_

I pulled back from him and looked questioningly at him. "Is that Rosalie calling you?"

He sighed. "Yes."

"_Rosalie, get her out of here," _Jasper ordered.

"Edward, what's going on?" I panicked — feeling myself being pulled away from his arms.

"Sorry, Jane, but I guess it's not your time." There was sadness in his eyes as I faded away.

The vision disappeared when the cold air hit my skin and I appreciatively breathed it in. As Rosalie dragged me to our picnic table by the woods, a cry of pain belted behind us. I leaned against her as she pulled my pants up and secured them around my waist, then set me down on the bench and quickly fastened the buttons that were left on my shirt. I would have blushed if I had been coherent.

"Marilyn Monroe," I managed to say in a raspy voice. Rosalie was kneeling in front of me wearing a beautiful sleeveless white dress and white heels. Her lips were ruby red, and a beauty mark was visible on her upper lip.

She glanced up at me and smiled. "Very good — at least we know you have _some _memory." She sat back and looked at me. "You look like shit, Jane." She sighed and ripped off some of the material from around the bottom of her dress and placed in on the left side of my forehead. "Hold this and add some pressure. You've got blood all down the side of your face."

The memory came back to me; what I thought had been sweat was blood. I did as she demanded and kept my eyes focused on the ground.

"Are you…okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"I think so," I muttered.

"Jane, do you know if…did he…" Her voice trailed off and there was a hatred that burned in her eyes, but not towards me — it was as if she was looking into the past.

I was slightly puzzled by her question and continued to stare into her eyes. Suddenly, I thought about my appearance — how she had found me. "Oh, no," I shook my head adamantly and fought a wave of nausea caused by my sudden movement. This time I was certain a blush flashed across my cheeks.

Rosalie breathed a sigh of relief. "You're tougher than you look." She smiled and I had a feeling we were sharing a bonding moment.

The doors slammed open behind us and she whirled around. I was impressed with her agility in heels. My breath caught in my throat as Edward quickly walked our way wearing a three-piece gray suit. Rosalie stopped him halfway. His eyes darted from hers to mine; there was definitely stress written all over his face. Slowly, he followed Rosalie to where I was sitting. He took off his jacket and I gratefully slipped it on.

"We think you need to go to the hospital and have them check your injuries. You may have suffered a concussion," Rosalie said.

I shook my head and winced at the pain from my neck up. "If I go to the hospital, they'll call my parents. I don't want them to know what happened."

"Your parents should know, Jane." Rosalie's eyes burned with intensity. "You should press charges against that bastard."

"Wh-where is he now?"

Rosalie and Edward exchanged glances. "Emmett and Jasper are escorting him off the school property," she said.

"And what did you…do to him?" I whispered looking at Edward.

"He won't be bothering you anymore." His voice was calm — his gaze steady.

"Jane, you need to let me take you home so your parents can notify the police," Rosalie insisted.

"You don't know what you're saying." My voice raised in hysteria. "I don't want everyone in school to know that I was assaulted and almost raped by Reggie Adams." Edward began to pace back and forth; the muscle in his jaw tightened. "They will label me a slut and swear I begged for it."

"Jane, you need medical attention. That gash on your head may need stitches, and if you do have a concussion it could be life threatening."

"I'm okay."

"Let me call my dad." Edward's eyes appeared darker than normal. "I'll take you to our house and have him take a look. Will you at least do that…please?"

"I have to take Austen —"

"Dammit Jane!" Edward's voice caused me to jump.

Rosalie shot her brother a look of annoyance, then turned back and smiled sweetly at me — not something I was used to. "Alice is with Austen and his friend inside the gym. We can drop them off where ever we need to."

"Okay," I mumbled.

Rosalie put her arm around me and practically carried me across the parking lot , then placed me into the BMW.

"Thanks," I said offering her a smile.

"Don't worry about your brother. We'll take good care of him. I'll just tell him you got sick and we had to take you home so he won't worry. We'll meet you at our house."

Edward sat like a stone behind the wheel and Rosalie barely had time to remove her head from the window before he took off. He kept his eyes focused on the road, his mouth tight.

"Well, this is embarrassing." I managed a small laugh. He opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it just as quickly. "I guess you're wondering why I'm not in a costume."

"What I was wondering was why on earth didn't you do as I asked," his voice was cold and exact. "You promised me you would stay away from Reggie Adams; yet, you snuck off to meet him in a desolate area. Is that the kind of person you prefer? One who thinks and acts like…" His mouth snapped shut and his fingers tightened on the steering wheel.

"What are talking about?" I was angry at his accusation . "I didn't intentionally go looking for him, if that's what you think. I hadn't even planned on going to that stupid dance. I was going to stand you up — that's why I'm not wearing a costume."

He shot me a curious look. "You could have called and told me you didn't want to go. I would have understood."

"It wasn't that I didn't _want _to go…I just…wasn't."

The curious look suddenly left his eyes and he focused once more on the highway.

"Why did you show up tonight?" he asked with no emotion in his voice.

"Mackenzie called and said some outrageous things about what was going on at the dance. She said Alice stormed out crying and begged her to call me — said she needed to speak with me. Mack was waiting for me outside and told me Alice went into Mrs. Sims room. She set me up. She was willing to sacrifice me in order to hang out with the in-crowd." A variety of emotions went through me all at once. "How did you know where to find me?"

A smile ruffled his mouth. "I saw Austen on the dance floor. I went over and asked him where you were and he said you went inside the school because an emergency had come up. Alice had a…feeling something was wrong. She stayed and danced with Austen while the rest of us went to check on you."

"Thank you. If you hadn't…" There was no point in finishing the sentence — we both knew the ending.

Edward continued to drive further away from town. I remained silent, replaying my confrontation with Reggie over in my mind as the forest zoomed past us. A few moments later, I was staring at a large two-story, classic Mediterranean style home. Edward pulled onto the gravel driveway that had a three-car garage on both sides.

"Wow," I exclaimed staring at the mansion in front of me. The exterior was graced with decorative stucco elements, balustrades, decorative round columns, and arched openings. The second story had balcony's on both sides of the covered entry, which looked out of the front of the house. "You're house looks amazing. It's as secluded as mine." There were no neighbors for miles from the Cullens residence.

"We enjoy the privacy. That's what lured us here." Edward parked close to the opened entryway and assisted me out of the car; I was still unsteady on my feet.

He led me through the glass double doors, into a foyer that had a view to a balcony above. The flooring was a warm, gold marble. Straight ahead were curved bay windows that provided immediate two-story views to the rear of the home, which was an expansive forest. I moved forward across the marble flooring and stepped onto the light gold, glazed porcelain floor that covered their living room that was adorned with contemporary furniture.

"Hello, Jane." I turned and smiled as Dr. Cullen entered the room. "I wish we could have met again under different circumstances." He returned my smile and gently placed his arm behind my back, guiding me past the spiral stair case, into the room from which he had come from.

Their kitchen was spacious, open, and unusually clean. It wasn't like at my house where there was always a lingering smell of food and a dish displaced here or there. There was a center island with a stove, and was opened to a breakfast nook, which had a smaller curved bay window. The side glass doors led out to what appeared to be an enclosed patio. From what I could see, there were several plants and wicker furniture. I glanced over my shoulder, back towards the front of the house, and could see through a double archway a large dining room table. Mr. Cullen had me sit at the small table in the kitchen where his medical supplies were laid out.

"Rosalie tells me you may have suffered a concussion." He grabbed my hand that still clutched the piece of cloth Rosalie had given me to stop the bleeding on my forehead. He took the cloth from me and placed it in a small steel container on the table. "That's a nasty gash."

"I ran into a locker," I mumbled. I wasn't sure if he knew of what happened.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of." He took a bottle of saline solution and soaked a sterile pad, then began to clean my wound.

"How do you do it?" I asked looking into his amber eyes.

He paused and gave me a wondering stare. "How do I do what?"

"Your job. I can only imagine what kind of traumatic victims you've probably seen. Does the blood and gore ever bother you?"

He chuckled and continued with another clean pad. "I'm used to it. It's something I've always wanted to do — help people. I can't imagine doing anything else." He placed both soiled pads into the container with the bloody cloth. He then took out an adhesive agent to close my wound. "I have some extra strips I can give you. You can use them until the wound is healed. You will want to sleep with you head elevated to decrease the bruising and swelling," he ordered.

Once my head was treated, he checked my vital and neuro signs. "Everything appears to be normal. Do you have any numbness or memory problems?"

"No. My head aches and I'm still a little dizzy."

"That's normal — doesn't mean you have a concussion. But, to be on the safe side, you need to rest in the bed for twenty-four hours and limit your diet to liquids only." He handed me a glass of water and some aspirin, which I gratefully swallowed.

"Do I have to stay awake for twenty-four hours?" I was tired and if I had to lay in bed for such a long period of time it would be impossible not to drift asleep.

"That was an old myth." He laughed. "I recommend you get some sleep. If you wake-up and forget what happened or begin to vomit — then there is need for concern." He tilted my chin slightly. "He left a nasty bruise around your neck, a black eye, and a swollen lip. He must have hit you pretty hard?"

"I guess."

"It's going to be hard to explain those injuries to your parents without telling them what happened."

"They'll be leaving for New Jersey tomorrow. I should be able to hide the marks on my neck under a neck warmer. As for the other bruises — it's not uncommon for me. I'm sure I can come up with a believable story." I glanced at Edward leaning against the wall behind Dr. Cullen, his dark eyes intense on my face.

"I understand your concern about your parents knowing — though I don't agree with it," Carlisle said. He put his instruments back in his bag and placed a lid on the container holding the bloody items. "I would want to know if it happened to one of my kids." I dropped my eyes to the floor and remained silent. He gathered his bag and the steel container and left out the side the door onto the patio.

I smiled at Edward. "Wasn't as bad as what it seemed."

"It could have been better," he replied without humor.

"It could have been worse."

"I should have known he was up to something. I shouldn't have taken my eyes off him," he insisted indignantly.

"You're being ridiculous. The only ones to blame are Mackenzie for her treachery and Reggie for his heartlessness." I didn't want the guilt Edward was feeling for my injuries on his shoulders. I was more to blame than him. "Who are you supposed to be anyway?" I asked, dearly wanting to change the subject.

"Excuse me?" Edward seemed taken back.

"For Halloween?"

"Oh." He looked away from my gaze. "Sherlock Holmes. My pathetic attempt at humor."

"I think it's funny." We shared a smile. "Your house is…incredible."

"Thank you. Would you like to view the grounds out back?"

I nodded and he assisted me out of my chair. I held onto his arm as he led me into the next room. I paused in front of one of the many paintings hanging on the wall. It was an oil impression painting. There was a beautiful lady wearing black, holding a doll while sitting in a field of thorns. Behind her was the most perfect sunrise.

"My mother painted that one," Edward said following my eyes.

"She's very talented."

"Yes," he said as he continued to guide me out of the house and onto an opened patio.

I took a seat on the wrought iron bench, while Edward crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the parapet wall across from me.

"Is it too cold out here for you?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, I enjoy it. It'll probably be too cold in a few weeks, but right now it's nice. It's not like Florida cold. There are a few months in Florida where the weather gets bitter cold — a dry cold. Have you ever been to Florida?" He shook his head no. "It's nice. You don't want to go between the months of May and September. The humidity it terrible along with all the bugs."

"Is there a reason you were going to stand me up tonight?" he asked tersely.

"I wanted to beat you to the punch."

"I'm sorry — I'm not following."

"Listen, you made it clear in the beginning that you didn't want any type of relationship with me — including friendship. The only reason you changed your mind about being friends is because I made you feel guilty—"

"Made me?"

"—or maybe Alice bugged you to the point where you decided to give in. Then you made it look as if you had a change of heart. Why you continue to try so hard is what I don't understand."

"You think I'm pretending to be interested in you?"

"I think you keep flirting, wanting me to take the bait so you can mark me down in a little black book as being another naïve girl who fell for Casanova extraordinaire."

I could no longer sit still on the bench as rage coursed through my body. I stood and started walking across the lawn to the wooded area. His fingers wrapped around my arm and he spun me around to face him.

"Where is all this coming from?" he asked — his eyes shining darkly into mine. They reminded me of a fine polished onyx. "Did Reggie or Mackenzie say something to you?"

"I don't need someone to tell me your intentions — they're obvious." I jerked my arm from his hold. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the only reason a guy like you would be interested in a girl like me is for entertainment purposes only, or out of pity."

"Pity? That's funny because I don't see you as being the needy type." He turned his face from me. "I've always have made it abundantly clear since the beginning that I'm the reason we shouldn't be friends. I've told you my life is complicated."

"Your ex-girlfriend?"

"She's not a factor anymore, but I still can't..." His voice was losing its steely edge. "I'm not as debonair as you make me out to be. I don't understand why you think I'm like that or why I would do something like that to you?"

I sighed heavily — finally exhausted and sensually disturbed. "Because I don't want to get my hopes up that there is more to your attentiveness towards me than what there is. I don't want my heart to be crumbled and swept away, and I can't afford to lose my mind." A hot tear trickled down my cheek. The soft brushing of his cold finger wiping it away sent a dizzying current racing through me.

"Looks like we're afraid of the same things," he whispered. "I didn't think it was possible for me to feel alive again — I definitely don't deserve to. I just wish…"

"Things were easier?"

He laughed and turned his eyes up to the sky. "Yes."

"Sometimes the things worth having are the ones you have to fight for the most." He slowly turned his gaze back to me. A lump formed in my throat and I forcibly swallowed it down. "Am I worth fighting for?" My heart ached to hear the truth but terrified of the answer.

His cold hands took my face and held it gently. "I can't think of a single thing I would rather fight for, but your heart will be damaged if you get close to me — it's inexorable," he spoke with assured sadness.

"So…what? We go back to the way things were and pretend this night never happened?"

"I think we both know we can't do that." He smiled apologetically.

"I'm not sure I want to."

His lips touched mine like a whisper, and just as quickly he pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't—" he began, but I didn't allow him to finish. Standing on tiptoe, I touched my lips to his — not quite as gentle as he had been.

With each kiss, I ravenously inhaled him — his existence — and exhaled just as passionately. My heart pounded against his chest as he pulled me even closer to him. His intensity was just as strong as mine, and his mouth did not become softer as he continued to kiss me. My bottom lip began to ache and throb with each kiss, yet, I didn't want to pull away; I wanted him as much as he wanted me. I succumbed to his kisses. My arms dangled at my sides as I released all my control over to him. His arms, which were wrapped possessively around me, was all that held me up.

"Jane?"

He immediately released me at the sound of Alice's voice; his dark eyes widened in alarm. Our heavy breathing was in unison, and my lips burned in the aftermath of his fiery possession.

"Jane, how are you feeling?" Alice asked.

Unwillingly, I turned from his stare to acknowledge Alice. "I'm okay."

"Come on, I'll take you home. It's been a long night for you," she said and motioned for me to go with her. I couldn't help but notice the tension displayed on her perfect face.

"Edward can take…" I turned around, but no one was there. Suddenly, the night seemed colder than what it had been only moments ago; only a few short seconds ago when I had been mesmerized in lip-lock with Edward. "He was just here."

"He has a bad habit of disappearing when someone wants him," Alice said coming up behind me and gently leading me away. "It's been a long night for everyone. Rosalie and I took Austen to his friends house. He was overly pleased with his bag full of candy."

She tried to get my mind on something other than Edward. It didn't work. The taste of blood in my mouth was evidence that the kiss had happened. My busted lower lip now throbbed and freely bled from where Edward had latched on — unable to let go. I had misread his passionate kiss. It wasn't that he felt a connection to me, it was my blood that held his attention. I had been sucked into believing that our brief intimate moment meant something to him. Once again, I had been made a fool.

"I'll drive myself home." I extended my hand for my car keys.

"I don't think you're in any condition to drive. I'll drive you home and Jasper can follow."

"Dr. Cullen said I didn't have a concussion. I only have a few cuts and bruises. Trust me, my head is _very _clear." She saw I was in no mood to argue, and reluctantly handed my car keys over.

"Please be careful. You do realize that Edward's going to be angry with me for allowing you to drive yourself home?"

I opened my car door. "I honestly don't think he'll give a damn." My tires flung gravel as I sped away leaving Alice looking depressed and troubled.

The ride home gave me plenty of time to think about what had happened. I didn't know what exactly had been done to Reggie, but I was sure he would no longer be a problem. I was still hurt and angry at Mackenzie's betrayal. Our friendship hadn't been the greatest, but I certainly wouldn't have ever thought she would hand me over to a monster for popularity points.

Then there was Edward. I would not be his victim like Mom. He said all the right words and made all the right moves just as he had done with her. There would be plenty of time for me to cry over my loss later, but at that moment, I was too furious with him and even more with myself to allow my devastation to sink in.

I pulled up to the house and ran inside. Mom and Dad were sitting in the living room watching a black and white horror movie.

"Where have you been?" Mom asked before I could run up the stairs.

"I stopped by the school," I replied without turning around. "I'm really tired. Goodnight."

I shut the door to my room and automatically went to the window. I made sure it was tight and secure, then closed my curtains and placed my easel directly in front of it. Nothing was going to get to me tonight or any other time.


	19. Chapter 19 Thin Ice

Chapter 19

Thin Ice

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I felt every ache and pain I received from Reggie and Edward when I woke up Sunday morning. One glance in the mirror confirmed I looked as bad as I felt. I laughed without humor remembering the dream that had me tossing and turning all night. Reggie and Edward — playing a game of poker where I was the prize. When Reggie won, he got to punch me. When Edward won, he got to bite me. Mackenzie kept bringing them drinks and laughing at me. My dream hadn't been far from the truth.

I took a shower, gently washed the blood out of my hair, then reapplied the adhesive tape Dr. Cullen had given me. I threw on a clean pair of pajamas and crawled back in bed.

Mom knocked on my door and poked her head inside. "You still in the bed?" When I turned my head to look at her, her brown eyes widened with shock. "Jane, what in the world happened?" She sat down on the edge of the bed and placed her hand against my cheek.

"I didn't see the rope they had blocking a particular area at school and fell face first on the pavement."

"Jane, I swear, you're just as clumsy as me." Mom shook her head. "Are you going to be okay?"

_No Mom, I'm not going to be okay. Everything you said about Edward was true, _is what I wanted to say; instead I said, "Of course," and gave a convincing smile.

"You're father and I are on our way to the airport. We left the number to the hotel in Jersey on the refrigerator." She paused. "Is watching Austen going to be too much for you?"

"I think I can manage."

"Your dad said they were going to close school Thursday and Friday because of the snow storm. I think it would be best if you and Austen stayed with an adult. The Porter's already said he could stay with them — you could stay with Mackenzie."

"Mackenzie and I are no longer friends."

"What happened?" she asked sympathetically.

"I'll tell you when —"

"Bella, we need to…what the hell happened to you?" Dad stood behind Mom and gazed down at me.

"Two boys at school were fighting over me and I lost."

"She fell at the dance last night," Mom said grinning at me.

"Should we —"

I waved Dad away. "Please, like I've never fallen before. You two go and have fun. Just make sure you don't bring home another sibling."

"That's not going to happen." Mom stood up and kissed the top of my head.

"It's not that we won't be trying, it's just that your mother —" I screamed to override Dad's voice and hid my face under the sheet. He laughed and jerked it down. "You and Austen stay inside and keep the doors locked at all times." He leaned down and kissed me goodbye. "Don't be bringing any boys in the house. I'm too young to be a granddad."

"Trust me, you have nothing to worry about."

The only time I rolled out of bed was to use the bathroom and grab a big bottle of water. The occasional roaring of the fridge and the central heat kicking on were the only sounds in the house. The phone rang numerous times but I ignored it. I had thought about calling Aaron, but was afraid he would be able to detect the depression in my voice. I didn't want to talk about last night with anyone, especially him.

I dozed for a few hours and was awakened by the sound of someone pounding on the front door. Alice's voice rang up to my room.

"Jane," she yelled. "Jane, we're worried about you. Please open the door and let us know you're okay."

I drowned her pleads and pounds with hard rock from my ipod. I don't know when she left; I didn't care.

Monday I skipped school. I wasn't ready to face Mackenzie, Reggie, or Edward. I sulked in the recliner and stared out the backdoor. I couldn't continue to blame myself for Mackenzie's betrayal, or for Reggie's attack. However, I did kick myself for doing what I had told myself I wouldn't do since hearing my mother's account of her relationship with Edward Cullen. The undeniable and dreadful fact was that I was in love with him. I didn't want to be; I felt perverse having fallen in love not only with a vampire, but with someone who my mother used to be in love with. Still, I was unable to change my feelings. I was trapped by the memory of his bruising kiss and the closeness of his body.

I roused myself long enough to drag my lifeless body up the stairs, throw on a dirty pair of jeans and sweatshirt, slither out the door, and crawl into my car. Thus far I had been unsuccessful in not following in my mother's footsteps, but I vowed not to completely go insane. So what if the Cullens were vampires? So what if Edward didn't love me? So what if I had no friends?

_This too shall pass, _I told myself as I waited in the long line to pick up Austen. It wasn't the end of the world; it was a test of my strength and will. Adversities would continue to assail me throughout the rest of my life, and if I couldn't get over this small hill, no matter its expanse, I would remain a feeble girl.

"To hell with him," I said looking at my reflection in the rearview mirror. "You're stronger than this, Jane. You're like the Rock of Gibraltar." I composed an iron control grip on myself.

Austen threw his knapsack in the back seat and his body in the front.

"You didn't go to school today, did you?" he asked, giving me a look-see.

"I did. It was bum day."

"You're such a liar."

"I know."

We chatted about his recent weekend activities with John. They had devoured two bags full of candy in the past two days. I was sure the Porter's were relieved to be getting a break from the diabolical duo.

"Mr. Porter said since the weather is going to be too bad for us to camp outside Wednesday night, he's going to set the tent up in John's room. That will be cool."

"I talked to Mom and Dad and we decided it would be best if you stayed home. You're stuck with me for the rest of the week."

"I didn't agree to this arrangement."

I laughed. "You're eleven. Since when do you have a say in anything?"

"This is so freaking unfair." He slumped down in the seat and began to sulk.

"Oh, come on. It won't be _that _bad."

"Why can't I go to John's?"

"Because I'm capable of watching you, and I don't want to be alone for a whole week."

"So I have to suffer because you have no friends?" His words stung. "Why don't you stay with those girls who took me and John home Saturday night."

"Why don't you want to spend time with me?" I asked instead of answering his question.

Austen glared at me. "You're boring. You're no fun."

"I can be fun," I exclaimed with a twinge of envy.

"Yeah. Three full days of Pictionary and Name That Book."

My anger and hurt was quickly replaced with dread when I pulled up to the house and a yellow Lamborghini was parked in the driveway. Alice's petite frame leaned against the front door of my house.

Austen jerked his knapsack from the backseat and stalked up to her. "Please, invite her to your house, kidnap her, or do whatever you can to save me from being cooped up in the house with her." Austen pushed past her and went inside.

Alice stared after him, but quickly turned her attention to me.

"Where have you been? We have been worried sick that something had happened to you. I came by your house…" Her eyes widened when I stepped around the car. "What in the hell are you wearing?" She placed her small hand over her mouth. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

"No, I am completely in control of my mind." I walked around her and blocked the entrance to my house.

"Why didn't you answer the phone or the door yesterday? We were worried sick."

"'We'?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes. My family likes you very much. We were all concerned."

"I'm fine. I just needed another day of rest. I'll be at school tomorrow."

She paused and narrowed her golden eyes at me. "You better be there. I feel like I may as well be talking to a brick wall when I'm talking to Rosalie." She gave a quick shake of her head and rolled her eyes skyward.

"At least you have Jasper."

"The guys have gone camping for the week."

"All the guys?"

"Except Dad." She paused before turning around to leave. "Jane, what happened Saturday night between you and —"

"Is between me and him," I said a little too harsh.

She frowned. "Exactly what he would say," she said before leaving.

Tuesday, I was forced to get up earlier than normal, which made my mood more insufferable than it already was. I yelled at Austen to get in the car when we were leaving the house, then yelled at him to get out when we pulled up to his school. I offered rude hand gestures to half a dozen elderly people who were going too slow, and cussed every red light that stopped me on the way to North Pole High.

The day turned out better than I had hoped for. Thankfully, I managed to make it through the day without running into Reggie. I hadn't seen him since his attack on me Saturday night. The bruises were still visible on my neck, but I kept them hidden under a wool scarf. The same could not be said for my eye, forehead, and lip. On the down side, the absence of Edward, Emmett, and Jasper during break and lunch was discernible.

I was standing at my locker after school, silently going over my mental checklist of everything I needed to take home, when I had a distinct feeling someone watching me. Slowly, I turned to find Mackenzie's green eyes staring at me from across the hall. My own anger and hurt could no longer be controlled. I slung my book bag over my shoulder and moved to stand face to face with her.

"You look surprised to see me." I failed at keeping my voice steady. I glanced around the nearly empty hallway. "Where are all those friends you were promised?"

"I guess due to Reggie's debilitated state he hasn't gotten around to my reward," she replied coldly. "Besides, you should be thanking me. Reggie is a step up from Edward. You needed a little color in your life."

An intense rage burned in my chest. Edward's name didn't sound right coming out of Mackenzie's mouth. Without pause, my right hand came flying up and smacked Mackenzie. Her mouth dropped open as the right side of her face began to turn a bright scarlet. My hand stung from the impact, but I resisted the impulse to yelp or try and shake the sting away.

A few people stopped in the hallway — amused with our squabble. Mackenzie became aware of our audience and quickly regained her composure. She drew her hand back, but that was as far as she got.

"I don't think so." A pale, manicured hand clamped over Mackenzie's wrist. She winced in pain and Rosalie shoved her against the locker.

"This has nothing to do with you, freak," Mackenzie yelled, rubbing her wrist. "This is between me and the slut."

"The only slut I see is you," Alice said from behind me.

"You're one to be talking. Screwing your own brother? Everyone knows what goes on in that household," Mackenzie snarled. "Jane fits perfectly with you bunch of freaks."

"You're a pathetic excuse for a human being," Rosalie said in a low, even voice. "You don't know the first thing about love or loyalty. You deserve much more than just a slap in the face for what you did. The rumors going around about Jane — stop now. If they don't, you'll get much more than just a slap."

"Are you threatening me?"

Mackenzie's boldness dwindled under Rosalie's glare. A devilish look went into her eyes as she leaned towards Mackenzie and her red lips grinned mercilessly. "Damn right."

Rosalie coolly walked away with me close behind her, and a giggling Alice in the rear.

"You didn't have to do that." I was stuck between Alice and Rosalie as we walked across the parking lot to my car. "I can fight my own battles."

"She's been talking about all of us," Rosalie said. "I've hated her since my first day here. Besides, what she did to you is inexcusable."

"Why don't you bring Austen and stay at our house Thursday and Friday?" Alice asked.

"I don't think so." It sounded like a good idea, but the thought of sleeping in the same house with Edward was upsetting.

"You shouldn't be alone at your house. You've already admitted that this will be the first snow storm you've been in. Your electricity could go out."

"We have a generator."

"Your generator could quit working."

"We have a fireplace and tons of food."

"The house could burn down, then you wouldn't have any food."

"Alice," I laughed and opened my car door, "I'm not going to your house."

"Tell me why and I'll leave you alone."

Among other emotions was a deep sense of humiliation. I was no smarter than the stupid fish Dad enjoyed catching. I used to go with him fishing when I was little and would roll my eyes every time he whooped and hollered as he reeled in fish after fish. What did they think? That a worm just magically appeared in the water just for them? I guessed the temptation was more than they could handle. Dumb fish — dumb Jane.

"He won't be there," Rosalie said interrupting my thoughts. "One of our relatives on the east coast is having a hard time and he's gone to help them. I don't expect he'll back for the rest of the year."

I stared at her beautiful face. My blood accumulated at my feet and my knees buckled. "Oh," was all I managed to say before I fell into my car, hitting my head on the way down.

"Jane," Alice called to me out of concern.

I held my hand to stop her. "I'm okay. I…I've got to get Austen." I shut the door and hurriedly left the parking lot before they had a chance to see the tears.

He was gone. Without a "Dear Jane" letter, or an email, or a text…. Gone. I hadn't been worth his energy. I furiously wiped the tears off my face. Austen was right; I was boring and uninteresting. I was too reserved and lacked spontaneity. I was plain looking, plain clothed — plain Jane.

The Rock of Gibraltar cracked.

My spirits sank even lower as I began to remind myself that my pain was my own doing. He hadn't wanted me to begin with — he'd made that clear. However, I kept pushing, praying, begging God just to be able to stand close to him, laugh with him, talk to him. _That was before you knew what he was,_ I argued with myself. _That was before you knew he was a vampire and stole young girl's hearts._ As I thought it, I knew I had wanted him even after I found out what he was — what he did. What made me think it would be any different this time? What made me think I would be the one to win his love — to make him change?

I put on a fake smile when Austen got in the car and pretended everything was perfect. Later that night Mom called and checked on us. She and Dad were having fun and because of the weather, they wouldn't be home until late Sunday.

Wednesday, school was practically empty. Most of the residents decided to use the short week as a vacation and went to visit another state.

During lunch, Alice complained about the lack of style in most winter clothes.

"People are more concerned with frost bite or trying not to die from hypothermia," Rosalie told her.

"I'm sorry, I don't care if they are underneath my clothes, I would not be caught on a medical examiners table wearing long johns."

The conversation continued and none of us touched our food.

There were only four of us in Mrs. Sims class and she let us use her period as a study hall. I took out my sketchbook to doodle. Two of the kids seated a couple of rows down from me started talking.

"Have you heard if Reggie is going to be able to play next year?" Colby Wright asked.

"I don't think so. I was told he hasn't even gotten to the point where he can start physical therapy," Samantha Parker answered.

"Damn. I heard his arm was crushed and barely attached to his shoulder."

"Kyle's been to see him. He said he doesn't look the same. He's probably going to have to have plastic surgery later. He's lost a lot of weight because he can only have fluids until his facial bones heal. His football career is over," Samantha sniffed.

"He's a prim example of why you shouldn't drink and drive, or at least wear a seatbelt if you're going to break a tree in half," Colby said shaking his head. "It's a miracle he's still alive."

"Kyle said he didn't look alive to him. He said he just sat around like a zombie."

Visions flooded my mind and I screamed when the bell rang. Colby mumbled something which caused Samantha to giggle. I blushed and ignored them.

That explained why I hadn't seen Reggie. I also knew he did not sustain his injuries in a car accident, but at the hands of the Cullens. I shivered picturing Emmett yanking Reggie's arm so hard that it almost came off his shoulder. Then Jasper breaking his jaw and cracking his eye socket with one punch. Edward probably yelled at them for making such a mess of things. "She probably asked for it." I could hear him say. I had misinterpreted his concern as being for me — for what Reggie had done to me; instead, it was because of the volatile situation his brothers found themselves in because of me.

Alice waited for me at my locker. "Are you sure you won't change your mind about…what's wrong?"

"I heard what happened to Reggie Adams last period. Why didn't anyone tell me?" I whispered.

"We assumed you had already heard." Her eyes gleamed with sincerity.

"That Emmett nearly ripped his arm off? That Jasper busted his face?" I wasn't able to hide the panic in my voice. What if they got caught?

"Jane, that's crazy. Only an animal would have been able to tear an arm off a guy Reggie's size; no human would ever be able to do that."

"I know," I hissed looking into her eyes. A strange, faintly eager look flashed in her eyes but was gone in a second.

"My, you do have an overactive imagination." Alice lowered her voice and pulled me down the hall. "He did get in a car accident. We shouldn't have let him leave knowing he was drunk."

"Right." I agreed, not believing a word she said. Her eyes had already told me the truth.

"Will you please reconsider and come to our house?" She forced her lips out into a pout.

"Sorry, but Austen and I are going to spend some fun, quality time together." I was going to prove to him that I wasn't a stick-in-the-mud.

"Okay. If you need anything just give us a call."

That night, I tried to play Austen's favorite video game with him, but didn't have much luck with the controller. We played a co-op mission and I ended up killing him instead of the enemy. Then we fought against each other. I played four rounds that lasted a total of twenty-five minutes before he kicked me out of his room, informing me he would rather play against the computer.

The wind howled outside as snow filled the air and covered the ground. It didn't take very long for the power to go out and the generator roared to life. I sent a silent "thank you" up to God, and crawled into bed.

"Jane. Jane, wake-up." Austen stood next to my bed shaking me.

"What?" I mumbled and snuggled further down underneath the covers.

"I think something might be wrong with the generator." I didn't move. "The television and microwave aren't working."

I gasped at the chill in the room when I threw the covers off me. Over my long johns, I threw on a clean pair of sweat pants, t-shirt, sweatshirt, two pairs of socks, wool scarf, heavy jacket, and boots, and went outside to check the generator. It remained silent — unconcerned with my kicks and threats.

"We're going to freeze to death, aren't we?" Austen asked when I stepped back inside and stomped the snow off my boots.

"No," I snapped. "I'm going out to the shed to get some wood for the fireplace. I'm sure there is something you can find to occupy your time that doesn't involve electricity."

"I can build a snow fort."

"Oh, no." I grabbed his arm before he was able to dash upstairs. "Dad doesn't want us outside in this weather."

"See, that's what I mean by boring."

"I'm being safe."

"No, you're stuffy and controlling. The storm isn't here yet. I'm only going to be outside for a few hours. There is nothing to do in here," he complained.

I glanced out the door. "Stay off the lake and out of the woods. I want to be able to see you and I don't want you arguing with me when I tell you to come in, understand?"

"Yes mother." Austen ran into his room to change clothes.

I stomped through the snow to the shed. My nose and fingers were already frozen. I pulled the door open and looked around for Dad's work gloves. I stopped looking when I noticed I had no need for them. No firewood. I groaned remembering Mom specifically telling Dad to make sure we had enough wood for the winter; that was before Grandpa Charlie died. No electricity and no firewood in the middle of a snow storm with no one around but a brother who considered me a total dweeb. _Damn Alice; she wished this on me_.

I started back towards the house and Austen walloped me in the back of the head with a snowball.

"Where's the wood?" he hollered as he began making another missile.

"Dad didn't get any. Where's your cap?"

"It doesn't fit. The wind keeps blowing it off."

"Make it fit. If you want to be outside, then you have to be properly dressed." Another snowball went sailing towards my face but I swatted it away.

I went from room to room gathering blankets, comforters, and quilts, and placed them downstairs in the living room. Next, I checked our canned goods to make sure there was plenty to eat that didn't require heating.

The phone shook on the wall. I figured it was Mom checking on us. I was going to tell her everything was great. No sense in her worrying and killing Dad.

"Yes, I should have room for about fifty more people, just be sure you bring two more kegs," I answered.

"Jane?" The sound of Edward's voice caused my smile to fade. "Jane, listen to me."

I hung the phone up without allowing him to finish. The phone started ringing again. I picked it up and said, "Stop calling me," then quickly hung up. Immediately it started ringing again. Curses fell from my mouth, and I reached over and unplugged it from the wall. I would call Mom and Dad later on my cell and tell them the phone lines were down.

_How dare he? _I thought as I viciously yanked the kitchen drawers open and started looking for flashlights and candles. "He thinks he can just do whatever he wants…treat me however he wants and I'm supposed to just melt?" I said out loud. I did have something to thank him for; my body was no longer cold but warmed with justified anger.

My cell phone started singing on the console table by the front door. I picked it up and saw Alice's name.

"Hello?" I answered hesitantly.

"Do not hang up, please," Edward begged. If he was using Alice's phone that meant he must have been home. Or it meant that Alice had left too.

"Why shouldn't I?" I asked pacing the room. "Do you think that you can call me up when it's convenient for you and expect me to be okay with it? I doubt you would have stayed on the phone if I had called you right after Saturday night and begged you to listen. Oh, that's right. You weren't home — you went camping. How very convenient for you. You know what? I've changed my mind — I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

"Fine, you have a right to be angry with me, but we can talk about that later — or not. Just…listen and don't ask any questions." I was hard to understand him with Alice's high pitched voice in the background.

"Hang on, I have to check on Austen."

"Don't —"

Edward was yelling, but the phone slipped through my fingers and landed on the area rug at the backdoor. Edward's voice was muddled as I stared outside — frozen in fear. The red knit cap — Austen's red knit cap — rested at the far end of the lake.

"Austen," I yelled running out the door.

Without stopping to think, I dashed across the snow and pounded across the ice until I reached the spot where the cap rested. I bent down and snatched it up, but there was no gaping hole. The cap had been clinging to a twig attached to a fallen tree branch. I looked around and didn't see Austen, but was relieved that he wasn't in the water.

I started back towards the house when the sound of ice cracking made me stop in my tracks. A cold knot formed in my stomach as I looked down to see a thin crack underneath my feet. I glanced around, breathing in the cold air through my nose and out my mouth to keep from panicking. The bank was too far away for me to attempt a mad dash for safety. Slowly, I turned around to backtrack my steps, but the ice broke and I went down into the frigid water.

I sank like a bag of stones, swallowing some of the water as struggled up to the surface. I desperately tried not to focus on the bitter coldness that raced throughout my entire body. It was important to remain calm, but it was hard to push the cold shock aside.

The many layers of clothing made it difficult for me to stay above water. I splashed around, taking off my oversized coat, and used the unbroken area of the lake to steady me long enough to twist my rubber boots off. With every breath, it felt as if a thin sheet of ice was lining my trachea and forming over my lungs.

I grabbed onto the side of the ice and tried to pull myself up. The soaking clothes felt like they added twenty pounds to my 5'6, 127 lbs frame. The ice kept breaking under my weight, continually immersing me in the icy water.

The only way out was from the direction I had come. I placed my arms out of the water, leaned forward, and began kicking my legs as if I were swimming, giving me forward momentum. Inch my inch, I was able to pull my body further and further out of the hole.

After I had crawled a safe distance, I collapsed on the ice. I had used a lot of energy to try and get out of the water, which caused my heart to beat faster and my breathing to accelerate. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and rest.

_I've got to find Austen before the storm hits, _I remembered. _Wait, isn't he at John's? _I was so tired and confused.

I forced myself to my feet and stared blankly at the forest before me. _Where the hell is my house? _I wondered. A sudden movement caught my eye.

"Austen, is that you?" My breath was visible with every word. I had thought I saw him darting through the woods with that stupid red cap on. "Wait, I have the red cap." I looked at the icy ground around me, but couldn't find it. To hell with it; I just wanted to go inside, crawl in my bed, and sleep. "I'm going inside," I called out to him.

I turned and began walking towards my house without much thought or awareness of my surroundings. In only four steps, I fell back into the hole I had recently escaped from. This time I did not struggle; this time I did not come up for air.


	20. Chapter 20 Ghosts

Chapter 20

Ghosts

**Chapter Note's: **This chapter begins at the Cullens house, after Reggie's attack at the Homeaween Dance.

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

She was everything I wanted — needed — feared. She slightly shivered when my cold finger brushed her hot tear away. Her sad, brown eyes were pools of appeal, and her pale cheeks flushed the lightest color rose. Her face illuminated in the moonlight showing both delicacy and strength. My gaze fell to the base of her bare neck, and I quickly turned away — silently praying for self-control.

"Sometimes the things worth having are the ones you have to fight for the most." She had no idea how sensuous her voice sounded. I gathered my willpower and slowly returned to gaze upon her beauty. "Am I worth fighting for?" she asked in a broken whisper.

Unable to contain myself, I held her face and looked deep into her eyes. This time she showed no response to my icy touch. "I can't think of a single thing I would rather fight for, but your heart will be damaged if you get close to me — it's inexorable." I had to be honest with her. I was acutely aware of the dangers one faced being with me — she wasn't.

"So…what? We go back to the way things were and pretend this night never happened?"

"I think we both know we can't do that." An undeniable magnetism had built between us as our feelings intensified in each other.

"I'm not sure I want to," she spoke with quiet, but desperate, firmness.

Vampires are selfish creatures. We're used to getting what we want — when we want it without thought of consequence. Just because I didn't make it a habit to dine on human blood, didn't make me any less of a vampire. And just because I was a vampire, didn't make me any less of a man. I gave into the temptation of her full, pink lips, and lightly touched them with mine.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't—" but before I could finish my apology, she raised up and her lips recaptured mine, much more demanding than I was prepared for.

My senses tumbled out of control. Her scent was overpowering. The busted lip she'd received at the hands of Reggie had not had time to fully heal. I tasted the blood and took her mouth with a savage intensity. Her heart hammered away against my chest as I held her tight — unable to get close enough. I could feel such a deep desire from her as she succumbed to the forceful domination of my lips. Her body was motionless in my arms as I continued to hungrily devour her.

"Jane?"

I had been so connected to her, I hadn't heard Alice approach. My eyes flew open and I quickly retracted my mouth from hers. There was no need for it, but I found myself breathing heavily in unison with her. I could still smell the blood, which had become much stronger. Her lip protruded from where I had latched on like a leech.

_What have I done, _I thought to myself seeing a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Jane, how are you feeling?" Alice asked.

She turned to speak to Alice, and that gave me the moment I needed. Alice furiously called out to me, but there was no way I could stop. I had gone too far; I had crossed the line.

The wind pounded my face as I quickly ran into the woods leaving the mess I had created for Alice to piece together. Jane would hate me; that was good. I hated myself for the utter lack of restraint I had around her. I told my family in the beginning that I could handle staying in North Pole for the rest of the year. I wasn't so sure about that promise anymore.

I hunted everything in site, trying to ease the pain that had formed in my cuspids. All in one day I could have killed one person and changed another very easily. I was thinking of Reggie when a brown bear faced me and growled a challenge.

Alice's visions hadn't been very accurate since moving to North Pole, so she hadn't bothered to tell any of us when she had her vision of Jane being attacked. She disregarded the vision as another fluke since Reggie wasn't seen at the dance. It was only when she saw Austen, that she knew something was wrong.

Austen said Mackenzie told Jane one of her friends had an emergency, and she had gone inside the school to find them. Alice grabbed me from behind and told me to hurry to the back hall. I didn't have to question her; her vision ran through my mind like a movie playing fast forward.

I saw red when I found Reggie on the floor with an unconscious, but alive, Jane. He never saw me coming. I picked him up off the ground and slung him into the lockers face first, then picked him up again and threw him against the other set of lockers across the hall.

Emmett and Jasper pulled me off of him, but that was only after I had severely damaged his face. Jasper yelled for Rosalie to hurry and get Jane out of the building while he worked on trying to restrain and calm me down. It wasn't working. Reggie was in a drunken stupor and I could still see what he had planned on doing — what he still wanted to do to Jane, which only intensified my rage.

I was quick, I was wrathful, I was convincing. Emmett and Jasper held me tight. I let Jasper think his ability was working and my body relaxed under their hold. When I relaxed, so did they. It only took a millisecond for me to escape their hold and grab Reggie.

Snap-crackle-pop. I wanted it to be his neck — to end his miserable existence — but that would not be justice. To take away something precious and valuable to him as he had wanted to do to Jane would serve the purpose. I enjoyed hearing him yell in pain; seeing him slump to the ground lifeless. One quick move, and Reggie's athletic career was over.

I smiled again as the warm blood of the bear eased some of my discomfort.

Later, Emmett and Jasper joined me, and we hunted along side each other. With my hunger pains satisfied, I could no longer avoid discussing what happened at the dance.

"I need to apologize for my behavior earlier," I said staring at the rising sun. "How bad…"

"It was a car accident," Jasper responded. "He was still alive when we left him."

"Don't worry about it — the jerk had it coming." Emmett slapped me on the back. "I made it look believable."

"I shouldn't have lost control like that." I wished they'd yelled at me for being irresponsible, but I only received sympathy.

"Emmett and I are the last two who have a right to lecture you about controlling your temper or desires."

"I'm sure Carlisle will reprimand you when we get back." Emmett gave an apologetic grin. "Rosalie and Alice were filling him in on the details when we came to find you."

"Jane left?" I asked.

"Yeah. Alice is bouncing off the walls to talk to you. She's livid."

"I'm sure she is. We need to find out why some of her visions are accurate while some are not."

"Please," Jasper begged, "don't get her started on that right now. She has been impossible the past few weeks. I try to help her, she snaps at me. When I listen and don't say a word, I'm not helping. She's become moody and distant."

"Probably PMS."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Vampires don't have PMS, Emmett."

"Tell that to Rosalie."

Our playing and laughter died once we entered the house.

"Well, well. Someone is in a very good mood." Tanya extended her hand to me.

"It's good to see you," I said lightly kissing her wrist. Emmett snickered behind me. It was no secret that Tanya had been interested in me as a partner for years.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, have a seat. Tanya, Kate, and Irina just stopped by."

Tanya returned to the couch and took her place between her sisters. Emmett sat down next to Rosalie on the loveseat, and Jasper joined Alice on the boudoir settee bench. They moved to allow room for me, but I stayed back and leaned against the archway leading to the family room. Esme and Carlisle remained in their Chesterfield style, white leather wing chairs.

"Irina, it's good to see you back with your sisters," Carlisle said. "I assume you have news."

"I was finally able to track down the only one who may have been the last to have had contact with Laurent." Her gold eyes met mine. "Victoria."

"Where?" I asked, my body tensed at the sound of her name.

"Barcelona. It is gorgeous this time of year."

"That's nice to know. I've been thinking about taking a vacation."

_Oh no you don't._ My eyes moved to Alice. _We are going to have a serious talk when they leave. Jane was devastated when she left. After what she had already been through, how could you…_

"…Forks." My attention immediately turned back to the verbal conversation between Irina and the others. "He went back looking for your family to deliver a message for her. After a period of silence, she got curious and thought he had betrayed her and went looking for him. When she got —"

"Wolves?" I asked already reading her mind.

"Edward, please," Rosalie moaned.

"Yes," Irina said staring at me again. "She encountered werewolves and barely escaped."

"That's a shame," I said without much emotion.

"They are the ones who killed Laurent," Irina said coldly.

"The last time we were in Forks, we never came across a werewolf," Carlisle said.

"Of course we also stuck to the treaty," Esme said. "Was he killed on Quileute land?"

"No," Tanya spoke up. "He wasn't there looking for trouble. They viciously killed him for no reason."

"Are you sure he wasn't hunting humans again?" I asked. I hadn't liked nor trusted Laurent.

"I'm sure. He knew how much our lifestyle meant to me," Irina said.

Tanya said, "We came here today to ask for your assistance. The werewolves killed one of our family and we are looking for justice. We would like your family to help us seek that justice for one of our own."

"You want us to help you fight werewolves? You want us to disregared our treaty with the Quileute's for a vampire with whom we had no favor with?" I heatedly asked.

"Tanya, Edward is right," Carlisle said taking control of the conversation. "I'm sorry for your loss, but we have our word to uphold. They have done no ill will towards us, therefore we will not break the treaty."

"They did kill one who was close to you," Irina spoke with light bitterness. "Victoria not only went to Forks looking for Laurent — she also wanted revenge against Edward for killing James. She went to find and kill Bella Swan."

Victoria had tricked me into thinking she continued further south when in actuality she doubled back to Forks. I listened with rising dismay; my expression hard and unreadable.

"However," Irina continued, "she wasn't able to get close enough to her because of the werewolves. They almost caught her, but she was able to escape and decided to lay low and wait for an opportune time. She never got her chance. Well, you know how temperamental those dogs can be. Victoria said it displeased her greatly that she had to settle for death by a werewolf as her means for retribution."

I was numb. My mind burned with the memory of seeing Bella in Jacob Black's arms. Chief Black was Jacob Black's great-grandfather, who had been the leader that agreed with Carlisle on the treaty between their people and our coven. Inadvertently, I had left Bella in the hands of mangy mutts who could be just as dangerous as vampires, depending on their age and maturity.

"Are you telling us that a werewolf killed…" Carlisle was unable to finish his sentence.

"You had no idea she was no longer alive?" Tanya asked looking benevolently at each of us. "I'm sorry. We thought Alice would have seen something."

Alice quickly removed herself from the room with Jasper following close behind her.

"They don't kill humans — not on purpose." Carlisle's voice was remoseful. "Like I said before, we are very sorry for your loss…and now ours…but we will not fight the werewolves. The treaty has not been broken."

"I trust you will not stand in our way if we decide to take vengence for our own?"

"Do what you feel you must. I would suggest to let it go. I don't trust Victoria has told you the whole truth."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Tanya said as she and her sisters rose from the couch. "As always, we will take your advice into consideration. I am sorry that we had to be the bearer of such tragic news." Carlisle and Esme escorted them out the door.

"Edward,—"

"Rosalie, don't pretend you're upset Bella is dead. Out of everyone in this family, you are the only one who never made her feel welcomed. You have always hated her."

"That's not fair. I'm sorry I'm not like Alice and see the good in everything, but someone has to think responsibly around here." Emmett placed his hand on her knee, but she brushed it away. "Yes, I disliked her, but I didn't hate her. I thought she was stupid and naïve wanting to end her life so quickly to be with you. Love is one thing, but obession is another. I often wondered if it was you she was in love with, or the possibility of an escape from her depressing life. I'm sorry, but if the roles were reversed and I had the chance to choose between my humanity and Emmett…I would choose humanity." She looked over at Emmett and placed her hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize or explain." Emmett took her hand and kissed it. "I understand."

I had to get away; there was too much pent up anger and hurt. I grabbed my car keys and left.

I had always told myself there was a chance that Bella was dead. I had wanted her to be living and experiencing everything life had to offer, but that was not the case.

I was a fool to have left her in the hands of young werewolves. Then again, how was I supposed to have known that she would fall in love with one? _Considering Bella's unusual capability of finding danger, you should had never left her, _I argued with myself. It was a perfect case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I arrived in Forks, early Monday morning. It had grown in twenty years. I drove past Forks High and smiled at the Halloween decorations that still adorned the front of the building. There wasn't the typically overcast weather, and I had to be careful who saw me in during the day. I was certain there were those I had went to school with who still lived in Forks.

There was one place I wanted to visit and I could relax there until later that night. I took 101 north out of Forks. In no time I was where I wanted to be. I got out of the car and headed into the forest pushing thick, overgrown limbs to the side.

The meadow wasn't exactly how I had remembered it. It needed weeding, limbs cut back, and the flowers needed tending. I laid down in the center of the meadow and closed my eyes allowing the sun to beat down upon me. This was the place Bella and I had went on our first official date.

I smiled remembering how awestricken she had been during the display of my abilities. I tried to scare here away, but she wouldn't budge. She had been stubborn — just like Jane.

I started to wonder how Jane would respond if she knew what I was. Bella had been surprisingly calm. I had expected her to run and tell her father he needed to load up on stakes, but she didn't. Knowing Jane, she would probably call me a liar and then demand for me to prove I was a vampire. _And once you did she would run screaming and your problem would be solved,_ I told myself.

I spent the afternoon laying in the sun and reminiscing. Bella would always be special to me — she was my first love. She had helped me remember what it was like to be human again. She unknowingly pushed me to be a stronger person. I learned so much about my boundaries, my understanding of human behavior, and of love in general in less than a year with her than I had in over a hundred years of being.

When the day turned to dark night, I left and drove back to Forks. The small, two-story house was only a shell of a home that used to be. I wasn't shocked to see the for sale sign in the front yard.

The second story window was dark, and I smiled at the memories of the many times I scalled the wall into her bedroom just to watch her sleep. After she found out what I was, I would lay beside her and hum her lullaby while she grudgingly drifted to sleep.

I eased the window open, pleased that it wasn't locked like the windows at Jane's house, and let myself in. I was astounded that her scent still lingered after all these years. Ironically, it seemed much stronger now than it had twenty years ago.

"Jane?" I glanced around the empty room and shook my head to clear it. "Maybe this wasn't a good idea." Evidently, I was confusing the past with the present.

Not wanting to linger any longer, I quickly walked to the loose floorboard by the closet. The items I had stored away twenty years ago were no longer there. Either Bella had found them and no doubt destroyed them, or someone else got ahold of them. I had been reckless to leave pictures of me behind, but there had been a part of me that didn't want her to forget; a part that wanted her to search for me.

I placed the floorboard back and exited out the window. There was an old ache as I glanced over to the woods before I left. That was the last place I had seen her. I had left her broken and confused. I'd hated to have been so forceful with her, but there was no other way to make her believe the lie I was telling her. And believe she did — much easier than I had anticipated.

I thought about what Rosalie had said before I left. I'd dismissed her antagonist rambling as her excuse for hating Bella. However, I was beginning to wonder if there was some proof to her alligations. Bella had been terrified of the fact that she was getting older than me and begged me to change her. It pained me to deny her, but I couldn't kill her beating heart. Her becoming one of us became a fixation. I had been too blind with love to see it then. Maybe it wasn't the loss of me she had cried over, but the loss of a dream.

I returned home Wednesday morning. Carlisle was at work, and the others were at school. I found Esme on the patio tending to her flowers.

"I didn't think you would be back so soon," she said giving me a hug.

"I just had to clear my head."

"Are you back to stay?"

"No. I know I promised I would stay for the remainder of the year, but I'm not sure that's a good idea anymore."

"We'll leave with you. Family is more important than anything else."

"What if the same thing happens in the next city we move to? It's not fair for the family to have to suffer because of my problems."

Esme held my hands tightly. "You don't think we would suffer just as much without you? None of us was the same when you left for an extended period the last time. Why don't we give up trying to be human for a while. Let's move to Rome and just…live. You can practice medicine with Carlisle — take a break from school."

I smiled at her effort. "I can't ask that of everyone. I think I need to find what is most important to me, and the only way to do that is for me to explore — adventure alone."

"When do you plan on leaving?" Her amber eyes were sad.

"After the storm moves through — four days."

I excused myself to my room to record in my journal all my thoughts and events that had occurred over the past few days. Esme was clearly not happy with my decision to leave the family for an unknown extended period of time. I didn't want to hurt or leave my family, but I saw no other option on how to put a handle on my topsy-turvy life.

"Edward," Alice yelled from below. I quickly tucked away my journal and went downstairs to greet her. "Where the hell have you been?" Her small hands were balled into fist and rested on her hips.

"Here and there — mostly there."

"You're cute. Do you know the mess you left us in?"

"Did Reggie die?"

"No."

"Hmm."

"But Jane's heart did. She has been severely depressed since you ran away like a scared little boy."

Rosalie walked inside and looked at me with no expression. _Ah, the wayward son has returned._

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"Barcelona."

"Barcelona? To find Victoria?" I was upset they had left without me.

"To find you before you killed Victoria — or she killed you," Rosalie said walking up the stairs to her room. "Carlisle assumed that was where you headed when you rushed out of here. I'll call and let them know play time is over. You're home safe and sound."

I listened to Alice rant and rave about the desolate condition I had left Jane. I could not argue with her; everything she said was true. She continued her disparagement until Carlisle arrived home. He saved me and invited me to hunt with him, which also allowed us to speak in private.

"Esme tells me you are leaving." His eyes always held a great deal of compassion.

"I think it's what I need to do. This time I'm not running away because I can't handle a situation I've gotten myself involved in, I'm leaving to locate who I am. I need to find out what it is that I want to do with this life I've been given."

"I see. Are you sure this has nothing to do with recent events?"

"Honestly? No. I know I can't keep going through this vicious cycle. It's not fair to the family, and it's certainly not fair to Jane."

"What about Jane? Are you going to tell her you're leaving?"

"I think…it would be best if I just left things the way they are between us." The thought of seeing her again just to say goodbye depressed me. Of course the thought of leaving without seeing her again depressed me also.

"Rosalie has already told her that you've gone to stay with a relative on the east coast and didn't expect you back." I looked surprisingly at Carlisle. _We didn't know where you had gone and what you were doing. I assumed you had went to Spain and started your search for Victoria again._

"I went to Forks to retrieve some things I had left behind, but they weren't there."

"Forks?" His golden eyes sparkled with curiosity. "I wouldn't have thought you would have went back there in a hundred years."

"Twenty was long enough."

Carlisle agreed to keep silent and not mention my leaving to the others. I didn't want Alice or Emmett to try and talk me out of my decision to leave. I would spring it on them closer to the day of my departure.

Esme and Rosalie left early Thursday morning to pick up Emmett and Jasper at Spokane International Airport. That was the closest place they were able to land because of the storm. They had been unsuccessful in locating Victoria. Either she was no longer in Spain, or she was still hiding. Carlisle volunteered to help the local clinic check on the elderly to make sure they had everything they needed to survive through the storm. That left just Alice and me at the house.

I was downstairs in the study when she barreled down the stairs.

"Edward! Edward!"

"Alice, for heaven's sake, I'm…"

_She's gonna die! Oh God, she's gonna die!_

I quickly met her in the living room. The look that was in her eyes I hadn't seen since that day at the airport in Phoenix, when she told me James was going to kill Bella.

"You had vision of Jane dying?" I asked.

She quickly nodded her head. "She drowns — in her backyard. She runs to save her brother, but he's not there and she falls through the ice." Her eyes looked frantically at me. "We have to save her, Edward."

"Alice, are you certain this time, or are you just thinking of a way —"

She answered in a tense, clipped voice that forbade any questions. "We can take the chance that my vision is misconstrude and let her turn into a popsicle, or you can help me save her."

I hoped it was another mistaken vision, but my muscles tensed and I had a sinking feeling Alice was right.

"I'll drive —"

"There's no time. You have to hurry and call her." Alice handed me the house phone. "Don't let her leave the house to look for Austen."

"How am I going to do that without explaining how we know what's going to happen?"

"Right now, does it matter? If explaining keeps her on the phone and inside — then explain away."

The sound of Jane's voice caused that dull ache in my chest, as well as my mouth to return.

"Yes, I should have room for about fifty more people, just be sure you bring two more kegs," she said lightly.

"Jane?" _What is she doing, planning on a snow party? And with whom? _I had to push my thoughts away and remember why I was calling. "Jane, listen to me." She hung up before I could say anything else. I stared at the dead phone.

"You have to try harder," Alice said pacing the room.

I called again.

"Stop calling me," she said crossly and quickly hung up.

"Dammit!" I hit redial and this time there was no answer. I looked over at Alice.

"There is no change, Edward. Keep trying."

I tried to call the house again and received a busy signal. "She took the phone off the hook." I slammed the receiver down, breaking the phone. My mind rushed to think of a plan. It was apparent she wasn't going to talk to me. "Alice, where is your cell phone?" We ran upstairs and she handed me her pink crystal covered cell phone.

"Hello?" Jane answered hesitantly.

"Do not hang up, please."

"Why shouldn't I? Do you think that you can call me up when it's convenient for you and expect me to be okay with it? I doubt you would have stayed on the phone if I had called you right after Saturday night and begged you to listen. Oh, that's right. You weren't home — you went camping. How very convenient for you. You know what? I've changed my mind — I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

"Fine, you have a right to be angry with me —"

"Now is not the time for a make-up session Edward," Alice shrilled.

"—but we can talk about that later —"

"Not if you don't stop her now!"

"— or not."

"Edward, it's not changing!"

"Just…"

"Don't go outside!"

"— listen and don't ask any questions," I begged.

"Hang on, I have to check on Austen," Jane said.

"Don't go outside," Alice and I both yelled in unison. We were running down the stairs and out the front door at lightening speed.

"Austen!" I heard Jane yell.

Alice and I froze looking at each other.

"She's drowning," Alice whispered.


	21. Chapter 21 Revelation

Chapter 21

Revelation

**Author's Notes: **This chapter is divided into two different POV's: Edward's and Alice's. Happy reading;)

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

I could get to her house much faster by foot than by car. Fallen snow once again rose in the air as I passed its resting place. I continued to push myself through the woods, passing residential neighborhoods, crossing a few major highways, while constantly telling myself that everything was going to be okay. She couldn't die.

The last time I had ran so fast and hard was in Phoenix, when James was going to kill Bella. Since then I'd had no reason. Twenty years ago, I had barely made it in time to save Bella. Had I not been able to suck out the venom, and had Carlisle not been there to stop the bleeding, she would have died — one way or another. This time was I wasn't running to save a girl from being killed by a vicious vampire, I was running to save her from fate.

Momentarily, Jane's house came into view. Austen was standing in the front yard wearing a bright orange hunter hat with fur ear flaps, and throwing snowballs at oil canisters that were lined up across the road. I didn't want to upset him by my sudden presence and there wasn't time to explain. I darted across the street, into the woods, and continued to move behind the house out of view.

I could see the lake along with the large hole exposing the freezing water. I dashed onto the ice unafraid. The only way to get her out was to go in after her.

The freezing water had no affect on me. I jumped into the hole and in two quick turns, Jane could be seen floating unresponsively. Speedily, I removed her body from danger and placed her on the snow covered ground near the backdoor of her home.

Her ivory skin looked like a light blue Hydrangea in full bloom. I was saddened to find her lips no longer warm and soft as I began rescue breathing. To a person without acute hearing it would have appeared her heart wasn't working, yet I could hear a heartbeat though it was faint. For that I was thankful; she would have enough trouble breathing without the added complication of broken ribs.

_Edward, _Alice called to me, _I'm in the front yard with Austen. Is she…_

"No. Find her some warm, dry clothes. Get plenty of blankets and crank the heat up," I said between giving Jane breaths.

_They have no heat. I'm calling Carlisle._

"Tell him she will need treatment for hypothermia. I'm doing rescue breaths now, but if she doesn't start breathing on her own soon…" I was worried her heart would stop when she started gurgling and frothy red sputum spilt from her mouth. I gently rolled her over to prevent aspiration as more fluid spewed between her lips. Her body was rigid and shook violently.

"S-s-so c-c-co o-o-old," she managed to speak through chattering teeth and hoarse throat.

"You'll get warm," I promised. "Just concentrate on breathing for now and try to relax." I scooped her up in my arms and ran inside. Alice was waiting on me with clothes and blankets as I laid a shivering Jane on the couch.

"Carlisle is going to meet us at the house," Alice said while quickly removing Jane's clothes. "Austen is in his room packing some of his things. I didn't tell him what happened."

"I'll talk to him."

I disappeared up the stairs into Austen's room. He had his knapsack out and stuffing it with clothes.

"I didn't know you were here." His brown eyes surveyed me curiously.

"There is no need for alarm," I began to explain. "Jane had a…small accident on the ice. My dad is a doctor and is going to take care of her, that's why you are going to our house."

"You're wet."

"Yes. I had to go in the water to get her out."

"Huh." He held my eyes for a moment. "You got electricity, right?"

"Yes."

Austen turned his attention back to packing — his thoughts were only filled with concerns about what to take and whether or not he would have plenty to keep him entertained. He was already trying to find a way to stay with his friend John.

_Edward, she's ready in my car. _

"I'm going to leave with Jane. Alice will be waiting take you to our house when you're finished packing. Please, take your time."

Once inside the car, I turned the heater wide open and placed the vents directly on Jane. Alice had her wrapped in blankets like fine china. Her head rested on the window and her breathing was in short gasps.

"Jane, you need to stay awake."

Her eyes fluttered open. "H-how…did…y-you…? Oh, you-you're…n-not…hu-man." She spoke in a weak, dry whisper.

The muscles in my forearm hardened underneath my sleeves. I was momentarily speechless in my surprise. "What do you mean I'm not human? If I'm not human, what am I?" I chuckled nervously.

"Y-you…know…wh-what…y-you are." Her body continued to shake and she kept her eyes closed on the way to the house.

I wanted to question her and find out what she knew about us, but now was not the time. _Treatment first, questions later, _I told myself. It was impossible for her to know we were vampires. She had never indicated the slightest hint that she knew anything about our secret. She had remained the same person that I had met the first day of school. _Delirium, _I decided silently and tried to relax. She was delirious and talking out of her head. It wasn't uncommon for someone suffering hypothermia.

Carlisle was waiting outside when I pulled up to the front door. He took Jane in his arms and carried her to the guest bedroom located at the east end of the house, and placed her on the king sized sleigh bed. He and I applied the warm compresses to her neck, chest, under her arms, and groin area.

"Is that necessary?" I asked when Carlisle placed a nasal cannula on Jane, and hooked it to a portable oxygen tank.

"It's humidified oxygen. It'll warm the airways and help raise the temperature of her body." He pulled out his sphygmomanometer and stethoscope to check her vitals. "Blood pressure is low — that's what I expected. Her temperature will gradually rise as will her blood pressure within a few hours. There is a chance she could develop pulmonary edema — we'll need to keep a close eye on her for the next few weeks." I wasn't ecstatic with the prognosis, but I couldn't complain — she was alive.

"How did you and Alice —"

"I would prefer not to speak in front of her." I motioned for Carlisle to follow me out the door.

_Very well._

He followed me to the living room and sat down in his leather chair, while I took a seat on the boudoir settee bench. I sat silently, listening to the slow, steady rhythm of Jane's heart. Just knowing she was close gave me peace. I didn't feel like a caged beast, or like a wanderer; I felt…at ease — satisfied.

"Am I to guess, or are you going to tell me what happened?" Carlisle's question disturbed my elation.

I quickly read Carlisle's thoughts to see what Alice had told him. "Alice had a vision of Jane drowning. We called to try and prevent it, but were unsuccessful. I got to her house first…you know the rest."

"Alice's vision was accurate once again." Carlisle pondered. _We need to start documenting which of her visions are correct and which ones aren't. She won't be pleased, but it may help us figure out why she is having such difficulties._

"We have other problems…I think." Interestedly, Carlisle cocked his blond head to one side. "Jane may know we're —" I stopped abruptly at the sound of Alice's voice.

"Come inside and make yourself at home." Alice bounced through the front door carrying Austen's knapsack. He walked in behind her with a bag of food.

"Wow, your house is huge," he exclaimed. His brown eyes were the size of saucers when he walked into the living room.

"Carlisle, this is Austen. Austen, this is our father, Carlisle."

"Hey." Austen slightly nodded his head. "Nice crib."

"Thank you," Carlisle said. "As Alice said, please, make yourself at home."

"Where is my sister?"

"She's sleeping in the guest bedroom," I answered. "She needs to rest." I didn't think it would be a good idea for him to see her hooked up to oxygen.

_If she was going to die I'm sure she wouldn't be here,_ Austen thought. _Hate that it happened, but thank God I don't have to be stuck inside a cold house with no electricity, alone with her for the rest of the week._

Alice lead Austen into the kitchen, then quickly joined Carlisle and me in the living room. "He's eating and watching television."

"I was telling Carlisle, I think Jane knows we're vampires."

"What makes you think that?" Carlisle asked.

"On the way over, she was going to ask me a question but then stopped and said I wasn't human. I asked her what she thought I was, and she replied that I knew what I was. She could have been delirious…"

"No, I think she knows." Carlisle and I both stared at Alice. She sighed and fell on the white leather sofa. "She hasn't confirmed it, but she is definitely aware that we are not normal humans. She knows Reggie Adams was not injured in a car accident." I turned from Alice's sympathetic eyes and looked out the bay window. "She thinks Emmett and Jasper caused his injuries. She doesn't suspect you."

"Is that supposed to make me feel relived?" I spoke with light bitterness. Though Reggie deserved worse, I wasn't pleased how easily my anger boiled out of control. It wasn't how I wanted Jane to perceive me or anyone else in my family.

"But neither of you are certain that she knows anything?" Carlisle asked before Alice could respond.

"No. When she wakes up I'll find out what she knows and work on damage control," I said.

"How do you plan on doing that?" Alice asked tartly. "By making her feel stupid for thinking such an outrageous idea? Belittling her whacky thoughts?"

"I suppose you want her to know?" The gold in her eyes flickered with interest. "No. Absolutely not." My voice was quiet, yet held an undertone of cold contempt.

"Edward, maybe —"

"No, Carlisle. There is no reason for her to know. I'll be leaving in a few days —"

"Leaving?" Alice raised her voice. "Where the hell are you running off to now? Siberia? Japan? Pluto?"

"I'm not sure of my destination at this time. It's just something I have to do."

"Really? Poor, distraught Edward. When the going get's tough, Edward get's going. If I would have known you were leaving, I wouldn't have said anything about Jane dying. Of course, if I wasn't so screwed up, I probably would have known you were leaving and then I would have known you didn't care whether she lived or died."

"I care." My temper flared.

"If you cared, you wouldn't be running away."

"She's not safe around me, you know that."

"Like Bella wasn't safe around you? She's dead now because we left. We weren't there to tell her what dangerous choices she was making. You left thinking you were helping her, but she still died. Have you not learned anything from your mistakes? Unlike her, you've been given a second chance, and you're _still _making the same stupid mistakes." Alice quickly departed up the stairs.

"I'm going to sit with Jane." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "She's just upset you're leaving and will say anything to try and get you to change your mind."

Carlisle left me staring out the window at the vast forest. The snow storm was upon us.

**APOV**

I hadn't been able to trust my visions since moving to North Pole. My predictions of the weather and stock market were still accurate; my predictions of Jane, varied. I understood Edward's frustration — not being able to use his ability. I began to put the visions I'd had of her in the back of my mind because sometimes they happened — sometimes they didn't.

For instance, the events at the Homeaween Dance: One vision had Edward dressed as Prince Charming, picking up Jane dressed as Cinderella. When Edward appeared in his Sherlock Holmes suit, I knew my vision was flawed. That was why I kept quiet when I had the vision of Jane being attacked by Reggie. The last thing I wanted was for Edward to be on edge around her. When he was on edge he got snappy and down right rude. Unfortunately, that vision was valid. So was my vision of her drowning. Luckily, I didn't wait for it to actually happen before acting.

I was beyond furious with Edward. True, Jane shouldn't know we're vampires. Still, there was something inside me that wished — longed for her to know. I believed it would make her relationship with Edward less complicated. She would be able to understand certain things about him: his past, his frustrations, his life. I also believed that he would be less guarded around her and be able to open up more. He cared for her — it was evident in the way he looked at her though he tried to hide it.

_There has to be some way…. _I came up with a plan, but I would have to act quick and be smart about it.

I returned downstairs to find Edward brooding out the bay window in the living room.

"Before all the stores close, you need to take Austen and get groceries."

"Didn't he bring some food?"

"Not enough."

"You can take him," he said not bothering to turn his attention away from the view of the forest.

"I don't think I can. With all this drama I haven't had time to eat."

Edward turned his eyes on me and studied me thoughtfully for a moment. I disguised my true thoughts with pictures of elk and red foxes. Without saying a word, he walked into the kitchen and moments later left with Austen following at his heels.

Once he was out of the picture, I made my way down the hall to the guest bedroom. Carlisle was seated in a French blue velvet Brewster chair next to Jane's bed. He smiled and laid his book down when I entered.

"She hasn't moved."

"I'll sit with her if there was something you needed to finish at the clinic."

Carlisle glanced back at Jane's unconscious body. "I guess I should go back to make sure I'm not needed. I can also grab some antibiotics." I didn't have to push too hard to make him leave. With everyone out of the house, I set my plan in motion.

Jane looked so peaceful laying under the white, goose down comforter. Her dirty blond hair was spread out on the satin pillow. I hated to wake her, but time was of the essence. The rest of the family would be home soon.

"Jane." I gave her a little shake. "Jane," I said a little more forceful and got a murmur out of her. I leaned over and touched both sides of her face with my hands. She inhaled quickly, then erupted into a fitful cough. She squinted her eyes trying to adjust to the dimly lit room.

"Wh-where…?" Her throat was hoarse and she swallowed painfully.

"You're okay." I pulled the chair closer to the bed. "You're at my house. You had an accident on the ice."

Her brown eyes scanned her surroundings before they rested on my face. She smiled, then her eyes widened with concern.

"Austen…"

"Austen is fine." I smiled and patted her hand to reassure her. "He's gone with Edward to get some groceries before all the stores close. They should be back momentarily."

"Edward?"

"Yes. He pulled you out of the water." She was silent. "How do you feel?"

"Every muscle in my body aches," she croaked. "My throat is killing me, it hurts to breathe, and I'm really tired."

"You'll get most of your strength back in a few days. I hate to seem hardhearted, but Jane, we need to seriously talk."

"I'm not going to apologize for wearing my long johns."

"Long…oh yes, that hideous garment. I am upset with you about that, but that's not what is important right now. You said something to Edward on the way to our house." She stared blankly at me. "You know what we are, don't you?" Her heart rate increased, but her face remained unexpressive. "We know you know we're not human. You don't have to be afraid of us."

"I'm not afraid."

I smiled at her boldness. "How did you know we were vampires?"

"Vampires?" Her brows drew together, looking at me uncertainly.

"Yes. You indicated to Edward that you knew we weren't human."

She quickly batted her eyelids. "I knew there was something special about you, but…"

"But you didn't know we were vampires." We had been mistaken thinking that she knew our secret. Even so, she didn't look surprised or frightened. "What did you think we were if not human?"

She shrugged dismissively. "I thought you were angels."

"Angels? What made you think we were angels?" The idea that someone could misinterpret a vampire for an angel was laughable, but that was how many lured their victims. We attracted humans with our scent, our voice, our appearance; although our family did not typically use the power of persuasion, it was just something that came natural. Edward considered it a curse.

"You were always looking out for me. Other than Edward's occasional outburst — you were kind. Well, Rosalie wasn't too friendly at first, but I think she's softened towards me. Why wouldn't I think you were angels? It makes more sense than you being vampires. You've had every chance to kill me…or let me be killed." We both shared a smile.

"We don't drink human blood," I explained. "It's not that we don't want to — we are vampires after all. It's just that we are consciously aware that it is wrong and are able to control the temptation…most of the time. We drink animal blood to sustain us."

"How are you able to walk around during the day?" she asked.

"As long as the sun doesn't come in direct contact with us, we're still able to hide our secret."

"Oh, so only if the sun hits your skin you turn to ash?"

"Ash?" The memories of all those horrible vampire movies came to mind and I couldn't help but giggle. "No, Jane. Our skin is like granite. When the sunlight hits us, we shimmer."

"Like crystals?"

"Yes."

"Is your skin resilient to the elements?"

"Yes. We don't feel the cold or heat, though we can be burned."

"The icy water had no affect on Edward?" I shook my head. "He got there fast. It's quite a ways from your house to mine."

"Edward's a fast runner."

"Runner? He ran on foot?"

"What do you think, that we have hooves?" I laughed

"I figured he flew," she answered.

"Flew? Like a bat?" I asked, unable to hide the disgust in my voice. "Jane, do not insult me. Do I look like a furry, leather winged creature with pointy ears and a flat nose?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know." She began coughing again, and the rattling sound in her chest concerned me. "Everything that has been published about vampires is wrong?"

"Everything except our need for blood." I reminded her.

"Yeah, but you already said you didn't drink human blood."

"Our family and some others don't, but there are still plenty more who do."

"More? There are others of your kind?"

"Oh yes. There are vampires all over the world. The myths about us have been fabricated throughout history. One thing you must understand, the world can never know we exist. It goes against the rules for any human to know about us."

"Rules?"

"One of the rules for our kind is that no human can know of our existence. The Volturi frowns upon it greatly."

"Vol-who?"

"Volturi. They are an ancient and powerful coven who reside in Italy. They have existed for at least three thousand years, if not more. They keep watch over the vampire world and destroy anything they consider a threat; for example, a human knowing our secret."

Her pale hands tightened their grip on the comforter. "How do they know what happens over here if they are in Italy?"

"They have ways —" I stopped mid-sentence hearing voices outside. "Jasper's back." I jumped up from the seat and ran to great him.

He met me at the front door and gently kissed my neck. "I smell human," he whispered.

"Jane's here. Edward has taken her brother to town for groceries. They're going to be staying with us for a few days."

I lead Jasper, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett to the living room, and filled them in on the events that had taken place while they were gone — excluding the fact that Jane knew we were vampires. They didn't seem to mind that humans would be staying with us; even Rosalie didn't have a cross word to say.

Jasper and Emmett was in the middle of telling me about their trip to Spain, when Carlisle came home and joined us.

"You weren't able to locate Victoria?" he asked.

"No," Emmett answered. "We didn't find a single vampire to question if she had even been there."

"I have a feeling something isn't right," Jasper said.

"I agree," Carlisle said with a worried look. He and Esme excused themselves and walked back towards their quarters in the west wing.

I wanted to escape upstairs with Jasper and tell him about my latest conversation with Jane. However, my chance was ruined when Edward and Austen walked through the door. Jasper assisted Edward in putting up the several bags of groceries, while Emmett offered to show Austen to his room where he had a television and the newest gaming system. Austen perked up and willingly followed.

I returned to Jane's room to find her once again asleep. I sat down in the Brewster chair and watched her. I had forgotten what the need for sleep felt like. She looked peaceful, almost like an angel herself. I didn't envy her life; I was comfortable with what I was. Unlike the others (excluding Jasper and Carlisle) I had been perfectly healthy when I was changed. Well, what I considered perfectly healthy. There were those who questioned my psychic ability and misread it as a mental problem.

Like Jane, I had attracted a vampire when I was human. He transformed me to save me, only to be killed himself. He knew no other way to keep me from becoming a victim to another; he saw it the lesser of two evils.

It was always hard for us to remember our lives before becoming a vampire. Even harder for me because of the catatonic state I was already in when I was transformed. The only information I had obtained linking me to my past was James, the vile vampire Edward had destroyed in Phoenix. Jasper and I had done some research since then and found information about my human family. There were times I would sit alone and try to picture my family who was still alive. That's what I was doing when Carlisle and Edward walked into the room.

"She's still sleeping I see." Carlisle had his medical bag with him and placed it on the nightstand. He took out a small needle and filled it with penicillin.

"It's to fight the bacteria which may already be festering," Edward explained to me. He remained at the door, staring at Jane.

Her eyes fluttered open when the needle went into her skin.

"Welcome back." Carlisle smiled at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," Jane gasped.

Carlisle patiently explained to Jane what happened to her and why her body was acting the way it was. He then started telling her what he had done to prevent any serious harm. He rechecked her vitals, temperature, listened to her lungs, and checked her blood oxygen level.

"Your blood pressure is back to normal, though your temperature is still a little low — that's nothing to be concerned about. I'm going to keep you on oxygen to build up your level. That could be why you are feeling so tired and sleepy. You were deprived of oxygen for some time." Carlisle began to put all his toys back in his bag. I glanced at Edward and saw some of the tension leave his face.

"Something else I'm curious about." It all happened in a blink of a human eye: I dropped my guard, Edward growled when he read my mind, and Jane said, "What about your fangs? Do they only come out when you eat?"

Carlisle's face froze in a smile. "Ah, so you do know our secret."

"Alice told her," Edward said in a low voice, taut with anger. "She didn't know till then."

"I-I'm sorry." Jane's eyes began to water.

"No," Carlisle kindly said. "There is nothing for you to apologize for. We all assumed that you knew."

Edward viciously slapped the door frame and brusquely left the room. Jane stared after him as her tears began to fall on the silk pillow.

"Please, excuse my son," Carlisle apologized shamefully. He opened his mouth to find an excuse for Edward's actions, but soon shut it when he realized there was none. "You need to rest. Don't worry about anything — everything is fine. Austen is asleep upstairs and we are taking good care of him. I'll be back to check on you later, right now you need to sleep." Carlisle smiled and quickly left the room.

My family gathered in the living room where Edward had started his tirade. I stood and wiped the tears from Jane's eyes.

"Listen to Carlisle and rest. Don't worry about Edward — you should be used to his charm by now." I joked trying to get her to smile. It didn't work.

"I've gotten you in trouble." Her breathing was labored due to the unnecessary stress.

"If you're worried about me, then don't be." I pulled the comforter up around her, tucking her in, and turned off the lamp. "Sleep, Jane. You need to get better." I shut the door and made my way to the living room.

"She does whatever the hell she wants without thinking of anyone but herself," Edward yelled. "I'm tired of it. She has put our fate in the hands of a human — a naïve teenage girl who can't seem to stay out of trouble. If she already foolishly blurted out what we are, how do we know she won't announce it in front of others?"

"The only reason she mentioned it in front of Carlisle was because she thought he knew that she knew," I said taking my seat next to Jasper. Jasper was doing his best to calm Edward down, and it seemed to be working which only indicated just how upset he was. "I told her we thought she knew — and we did."

"But she didn't know." Edward's eyes blazed with anger.

"But now she does. Now you don't have to worry about her finding out by chance and running away screaming. You should be thanking me instead of yelling at me."

"I should…you think…thanking you? I should be thanking you?" He laughed scornfully. "You damn well know where this is going — and you think I should thank you? She has a brother upstairs, and parents, a bright future, but all that will be forgotten. She'll begin to beg me to change her and that want will fill up her thoughts; it will become her dream whether she is awake or asleep. I won't do it."

"Even though I happen to like Jane, Edward is right," Rosalie frowned at me. "Alice, you had no right to speak on the family's behalf. I'm not comfortable with her knowing. There were ways to prevent her from finding out."

"I agree," Emmett said. "With all the abnormal things that have been going on lately, I don't think now was the best time to tell her. Not that there ever would be a good time…I just don't know if she's trustworthy."

Jasper squeezed my hand offering encouragement. I had failed the family. It should have been put to a vote on whether or not to tell Jane that we were vampires. I had bypassed the coven rules and took matters into my own hands. I hadn't done it for me, but for Edward. I didn't want him making the same mistake he had made twenty years ago. He was leaving and I had to act fast; there was no time to wait.

"There is no way around it." Edward glared at me, reading my mind. "I have made a vow — a promise — not to take her life. In order for me to keep that promise…I can't…she's…" With a long, exhausted sigh, Edward plopped down on the love seat. The anger on his face was replaced with sorrow, and his shoulders slumped under defeat. "This time, I don't think I'll have the strength to stand by my oath. I can't allow that small window of weakness to change her life forever."

He raised his eyes and stared at the image in front of him. We all turned and watched a fragile, breathless Jane lean against the wall for support.

"Please, don't be mad with Alice," she said, managing no more than a hoarse whisper. Her pale face glistened with tears and sweat; her breathing deep and ragged. "I won't tell anyone. You're the only friends I have." Her voice broke, and Carlisle quickly grabbed her as she collapsed.

"Jane, you should be in bed. You're too weak." He cradled her in his arms and carried her back to her room.

Edward stared at the empty spot where she had been. The armor he wore to hide his emotions from us was nicked. His usual stony features was replaced with deep concern, compassion, desire, and love. It was only then I realized what a powerful opponent Jane was.


	22. Chapter 22 Familiarity

Chapter 22

Familiarity

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JRWPOV**

Alice and Carlisle both agreed I should sleep — and I wanted to, but I was all too familiar with how ruthless Edward could be when he was angry. I couldn't let Alice face him alone — not when I was to blame for his sudden outburst.

I didn't completely lie to Alice. There was a brief moment when I thought they were angels. Had I admitted that I knew they were vampires, I would have had to explain how I knew then they would know _my _secret. I lied to myself by believing I was keeping who I was a secret to protect my mother's sanity when in actuality I was trying to keep from losing mine. There was still that ache in my chest that wanted him to be in love with me.

I threw the covers back and managed to swing my legs on the side of the bed. Even if I had to crawl, I had to make sure Alice was okay. My body shook when I stood; every muscle felt like jelly. My lungs refused to fill with air making each step feel like I had just run a marathon.

I made it to the hallway — the cold, porcelain floor sent shivers through my body. Their voices I could hear just ahead of me. I closed my eyes and pushed myself forward — ignoring the pain, the fatigue, and the gloom.

"Even though I happen to like Jane, Edward is right," Rosalie said. "Alice, you had no right to speak on the family's behalf. I'm not comfortable with her knowing. There were ways to prevent her from finding out." Rosalie admitted that she liked me, but not enough for me to know their secret.

"I agree. With all the abnormal things that have been going on lately, I don't think now was the best time to tell her. Not that there ever would be a good time…I just don't know if she's trustworthy." Emmett's words stung. I was a loyal person. Why would I ever want to hurt the only ones who had been kind to me?

"There is no way around it. I have made a vow — a promise — not to take her life. In order for me to keep that promise…I can't…she's…" I knew what Edward meant and tears fell down my cheek. I couldn't take the place of my mother. No matter how much I cared for him, it would never be enough. "This time, I don't think I'll have the strength to stand by my oath. I can't allow that small window of weakness to change her life forever."

I leaned against the wall for support, and rolled my body around the corner. Edward was seated on the love seat like a Greek god. The snow steadily fell behind him in the night. His eyes raised and met mine. There was hurt and pain in them — it was probably how mine looked. The rest of his family turned and stared at the pathetic human.

"Please, don't be mad with Alice." It wasn't until I spoke that I realized how parched and raw my throat was. I hung my head and stared at the floor knowing I was wasting what precious breath I had. "I won't tell anyone. You're the only friends I have." The strength that got me there vanished, and my knees buckled beneath me. Carlisle grabbed me before I hit the floor.

"Jane, you should be in bed. You're too weak." He picked me up like a rag doll and carried me back to the room. "You may have worked yourself up to a fever." He gently laid me back in the bed and covered me up.

"I couldn't…let Alice…" It was getting harder and harder to form a complete sentence without gasping for air.

He placed the breathing tube back in my nose, and Esme appeared with a wet cloth to wipe my forehead.

"Alice is fine," she said in a sweet, motherly voice. "She appreciates your bravery, but it isn't necessary. We're not barbarians; we don't stone or flog one of our children just because they make a simple mistake."

"But…she didn't."

"Jane, you're exhausted." Carlisle injected more medication into my system. "If you don't rest, you will get worse. You don't want to have to be admitted to the hospital, do you?" I could only gaze into his worried eyes. "Rest. I've given you some fever reducer that will help you sleep. Don't worry about Austen — we have plenty to keep him entertained."

Carlisle and Esme began speaking to each other, but their words fell on deaf ears; I could no longer stay conscious to listen them. I gave into my body's demand and slept.

To my knowledge, I didn't dream and wasn't sure how long I had been asleep. I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them. The moonlight coming through the window was bright enough where I could make out objects in the room. Someone was sitting in the chair next to my bed, but I didn't have to ask who it was; his outline I would have known anywhere. I started to speak but coughed instead. My throat was dry and sore.

"I'll get you some water," Edward said. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't you think I've had enough water?" I croaked.

His pale skin glowed in the moonlight. "You need to eat. I'll be back." In one quick movement he turned on the lamp next to the bed and exited the room before I could refuse.

I was surprised when he himself returned with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water. I assumed that he would have gotten his parents or sisters to attend me. He placed the items on the nightstand and assisted me into a sitting position on the bed. My muscles were still weak, but I felt rested and my chest only hurt when I coughed, which was every other breath during the process of moving up in the bed. Being so close to him didn't help either.

He pulled his chair closer to me and picked up the bowl of soup.

"You are not going to feed me," I said staring wide eyed at him.

"Why?"

"My arms aren't broken. You can set the bowl on my lap." He paused then did as I requested. The soup smelt good and I forced my hand not to shake as I placed a spoonful in my mouth. "Mmm, Alice's homemade chicken soup." It was what she had brought me when I returned from Grandpa's funeral.

I had taken several bites before I gathered the courage to look at Edward. He quietly sat, watching my every move — his face unreadable. I noticed the tint of purple under his dark eyes.

"You don't have to watch me. You can go to sleep."

"I can't sleep," he mumbled.

"You think I'm going to escape and run through the town screaming out your secret?" I joked, though it was probably what he was thinking.

He chuckled. "You think you have a chance of escaping a house full of vampires?" As quickly as his smiled appeared, it vanished. "Vampires don't sleep. I figured Alice would have mentioned that."

I swallowed more soup. "No, she didn't. You just…you look tired."

"I'm fine." I nodded my head. There was no use in arguing with him.

"So, is there some hypnotic trance you'll put me under and erase my memory? Make me forget you're a vampire?"

"If only it were that easy." His candor upset and angered me. I remained silent and continued shoveling the soup in my mouth, not worrying about the drops of broth which stained the front of my shirt. He rose from his chair and began pacing the room. "Alice had no right to tell you. She knew that I didn't want you to know. I nicely asked her to keep quiet. I shouldn't have been so stupid to think she would do anything that I ask."

"You weren't paying attention when we studied astronomy?" His pacing ceased and he looked at me curiously. "The universe does not revolve around you. We studied the sun — not Edward Cullen."

His surprise quickly turned into a grin. There was amusement in his voice when he said, "I believe there may have been one who was interested in studying Edward."

I don't know whether I successfully met his gaze without blushing, but I tried. "She tried, but didn't get very far. She was short a few credits and therefore wasn't allowed to advance to that particular topic."

He sat back down and casually crossed his legs. "The credit she needed has been obtained even though she didn't earn it fairly." I opened my mouth, tempted to tell him the truth, then thought better of it. "What do you want to know?"

"How did you become a vampire?"

"My parents died during the Spanish Influenza pandemic. Before my mother died, she begged Carlisle to save me."

"She must have known he was a vampire and therefore wanted you to be immortal rather than die." The thought of Edward not existing was painful.

"Or, she may have been like you and thought he was an angel. Maybe she had high fever and didn't know what she was requesting."

"Does it anger you that they made such a huge decision without asking you?"

"None of us asked to be a vampire." I noticed a silken thread of warning in his voice. "I was angry at first, but accepted my new life. Every now and then I have bitter feelings towards my mother…and Carlisle."

"I don't believe they meant you any harm. I'm sure your mother knew. Some parents will do anything to save their child. She probably didn't want your life to end so abruptly. You were only seventeen, right?" He only stared at me, unresponsive. "I assume you don't age once you're changed."

"We don't. So how old do you think I should be?"

I chewed on a piece of chicken and thought out loud. "Let's see, the Spanish epidemic occurred around the 1920's. If you were seventeen then, you would be…" I calculated in my head. "Somewhere around one hundred thirty years old including your life as a human." I smiled and looked at him. "You're a walking history book." He laughed with me.

"Carlisle is the walking history book. He's been around since the 1640's." He watched my reaction. I only raised an eyebrow to show my interest.

"Did Carlisle change all of you?"

"I was his first. Then Esme, Rosalie, and then Emmett."

"What about Alice and Jasper?"

"They were changed by other vampires."

"How did Alice and Jasper end up with your family?"

"Alice and Jasper joined us around the 1950's. She had a vision of our family — how our lifestyle was different from others of our kind, and they wanted to live as we did. Carlisle wasn't going to turn them away."

"She had a vision? Like, in a dream?"

"No. Alice is psychic. She can foresee the future as long as a person doesn't change their mind."

"That's how you knew I was going to fall into the water. You tried to stop me." A warm glow flowed through me knowing that he truly cared for my wellbeing. Then, as always, my mind butted in and reminded me it was an act that any friend would do — nothing special. "Did Alice receive her psychic power when she became a vampire?"

"She always had the ability, just once she became a vampire it was enhanced. We all have a gift that we carried over from our human life: Carlisle's ability to help others, Esme's compassion, Rosalie's beauty, Emmett's strength, and Jasper's ability to detect moods and change them."

"He can make a sad person happy?" I asked doubtfully.

"If he wishes."

"What about you? What's your special ability? How to turn any optimistic situation into a pessimistic one?" I teased.

"Telepathy. I can read a persons mind."

The spoonful of soup I was holding slipped from my hand, and splattered on the comforter.

"Oh shit." My mind was spinning out of control. _Oh my God! Oh dear God!_

Edward was up and taking the bowl from my lap when he froze. "What?"

I slowly shook my head, unable to meet his gaze. He knew. Everything I wanted to keep from him — he knew. I stared down at the white comforter and waited for the bombardment of ridicule and curses. I had played right into his hands.

Edward set the bowl on the table, then sat down again in the chair. "If you're worried about me reading your mind — don't; I can't."

I cut my eyes over at him. "What do you mean you can't read mine?" I asked suspiciously.

"There are times I think I can, but most of the time it's a blank page. Alice has problems too. Her visions of you are…inaccurate — most of the time."

"Why?"

"We don't know. It's happened to me before, but not to Alice."

"You said there are times when you thought you could read my mind? Like when?" I had to know if I was bulletproof when it pertained to his ability.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat — something I wasn't used to. "Just then, when you dropped your spoon, I thought you said, 'Oh my God. Oh dear God.'" He watched me with a keenly observant eye. "Is that what you were thinking?"

"No," I lied. There had to be some reason he could hear my thoughts at times, but then other times couldn't. Or, he could still be stringing me along. I went out on a limb and tested his ability. I stared at him thought, _What I want is for you to lay down next to me and tell me that you will always be there for me. That sometimes fairytales do come true._

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, showing no sign that he had heard my thought.

"I was just wondering what my gift would be." I only talent or gift was painting, but how could that be matched to theirs?

"It's pointless to even ponder such a thought." A cold, congested expression settled on his face. "It's impossible for you to become one of us."

"Why is it impossible?" I was baffled by his stern attitude.

His dark eyes impaled me. "Because I don't want you to."

His words had already hurt me more times than I could count. It would have been best if I'd just turned and walked away. Forgot all about him and saved myself a journey of heartbreak. And I wanted to, but there was something that compelled me to him. I had lost. My mentality had gone to a place beyond logic and reason.

"Why do you do that? Why do you continually push me away with your words of anger and hate?"

I stared into his eyes and watched his expression of anger change to remorse. "I'm sorry. It's not directed at you personally. This is not a life any of us wished on ourselves…it just happened."

"It must be a very difficult life. If you have a desire — need for human blood, why do you torture yourselves and socialize with humans?"

"Mingling at school or at events isn't usually a problem. Normally, we keep to ourselves."

"Then why did you bother with me?" It was a question I had wanted to ask in the beginning. It weighed on my mind like a paperweight.

"It was Alice."

"What…did she have a vision or something?"

"She didn't need a vision to like you. Alice sees people differently than the rest of us."

"Apparently."

Edward grinned and leaned back comfortably in the chair. "I was only against you because I knew the risk involved. It's even more dangerous now that you know what we are."

"Are you referring to the Vultures?" He tilted his head to the side with a look of confusion on his face. "Alice told me about the Vultures in Italy who monitor vampire activities with humans."

His gentle laugh rippled through the air. "Volturi. Of course there are some who may consider them vultures. No, the Volturi never crossed my mind — I'm not concerned with them."

"Why? Alice said they are pretty powerful."

"Yes, they are very powerful. But they don't show any interest in a coven unless they hear a report about one becoming very large and powerful, or one fighting for supremacy. They wouldn't know a human knew our secret unless the word circulated within our realm. Or if the human publicized it to other humans."

"You and your family don't have to worry about me saying anything. I will take your secret to my grave, I swear. I'll die before anyone gets it out of me."

"Please don't." He spoke in an odd, yet gentle voice.

"Okay, enough about vampires — I want to know about you."

A flash of amusement crossed his face. "You want to know about a vampire, but you don't want to talk about vampires?"

"There is more to you than just being a vampire. I'm still human, but you don't want to sit around and talk about how the human body functions all day, do you?" We laughed together.

There was so much I wanted to find out about him. He was patient and answered every question. I started with the 1920's and continued with each decade asking him what was his favorite song, book, and movie in each. He spoke of which decades he enjoyed the most and why. It was interesting to hear what he was doing during certain major events in history such as the bombing at Pearl Harbor, the day President Kennedy was killed, and the day the World Trade Center was attacked by terrorists.

He had traveled all over the world and told me which places he loved and which ones he would never visit again. I sat mesmerized at his stories — the life he had lived. Through it all, not once did he mention my mother or Forks. He did ask me a few questions about my old life in Florida; about my friends I left there.

"Earlier you wondered why we bothered with you — I want to know why were you so adamant to be friends with us?" he asked.

"You were new. They don't make it easy for new kids at North Pole High. I just…I don't know." I tried to remember what it was that had drawn me to the Cullens that first day. Why had I been so desperate to be their friend? "Fate?" I thought out loud then quickly pushed the rest of my thoughts to the back of my mind — afraid he might be able to hear them.

"Fate?" Edward asked. "You think it was fate that lured you to our family?"

"Let me guess — you don't believe in fate?"

"I believe that your fate is much brighter without us in it. What you consider fate, I consider a curse."

I held my hand over my mouth to cover a yawn. "So I'm a curse to you?"

"You're tired. I've kept you up for far too long." He stood and walked over to the window to close the curtains. The moonlight was gone and the ground glistened with white dust.

"Wait. What day is it?"

"Saturday morning."

"Saturday?" My voice raised. "Saturday? I've got to call my parents." I panicked and threw the covers off me.

"Don't worry about it." He was by my side in an instant — refusing to let me out of bed. "Austen spoke with your dad yesterday. He told him the phone lines were down, but everything was fine. We agreed with him that it would be for the best if they didn't know you were at a strangers house while they were over three thousand miles away." I laid back down and he covered me up. "Emmett and Rosalie have already gone to your house and fixed your generator. The house will be warm when you and Austen return tomorrow. Your parents never have to know if you don't want them to."

"Thank you." I snuggled down in the warm, soft sheets and closed my eyes. I felt his cool lips on my head, then he was gone.


	23. Chapter 23 White Flags

**Chapter 23**

**White Flags**

**Author's Notes: **I need to apologize for the delay. I've changed jobs and have not been able to write as often as I would like. I will try to update as soon as I can. Once again, thanks to all who have reviewed and enjoyed. Your interaction means a lot. Happy reading;)

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Later that afternoon, when I opened my eyes again, the room was empty. I sat up in bed and grabbed the water bottle next to me. The lukewarm water burned my throat as it made its way down into my empty stomach. My body still ached — but all in all I felt much better.

I got out of bed and gingerly walked over to a golden-brown, bombe-shaped dresser where a clean outfit hung. My fingers ran over the soft, red cashmere sweater. The label, Proenza Schouler, could have been a name of a top designer, but to me it meant nothing; I was just happy to have clean clothes.

The bathroom was through the door next to the dresser. I giggled, feeling like little orphan Annie, as I looked around the oversized room. A single sink vanity was to my left. A walk-in shower stood in the far corner. It looked like a gigantic sound proof room, and had so many gadgets and controllers — it looked impossible to figure out without an instruction booklet. In the center of the room was a tub made for two, which was surrounded with various oils, soaps, and a variety of candles.

Normally I would have preferred a shower, but since the operation of theirs was too difficult for me to manage, I settled on a hot bath. I lit a few of the candles before easing down into the warm water. It was the best medicine for my aching muscles and bones. I felt one hundred percent better once my body was clean, my teeth were brushed, and my hair was combed. I changed into the crisp, white Oxford shirt, the blue suede pants, and the red cashmere sweater, then slipped out of the room.

I started walking down the hallway that lead to the living room, when I paused outside a door to my left that was ajar. I tapped lightly before I pushed it open to see if someone was in there. My mouth fell open at the sight of the two-story library within their home. A miniature set of stairs led up to the balcony, and tall windows were in each corner facing the front of the home. Both stories were filled from floor to ceiling with books.

"There you are." Alice's voice caused me to jump. She stood in the doorway smiling at me. "I see you're feeling better. You must be starving." She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as we passed through the empty living room and headed toward the kitchen.

"Austen, Emmett, and Jasper are upstairs playing a video game, and Carlisle has been tied up at the hospital since late last night because they're short staffed. It appears there were more people injured during the snow storm than what they had expected. Rosalie is in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on your meal."

"Where is Edward?"

We walked in the kitchen and Rosalie placed a plate of food down on the bar. My stomach growled at the smell of scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon.

"He and Esme have gone hunting," Alice said. She pulled a stool out for me to sit on.

"Hunting? In this weath…oh, _that _kind of hunting." I sat down and began nibbling on a piece of toast. I was ravishingly hungry, but maintained my manners.

"Nice outfit," Rosalie said, leaning against the counter.

"Oh yeah, thanks."

"Don't mention it. I didn't know I was so generous."

I stopped crunching on my toast and shot a quick look at Alice.

"Would you rather run around naked?" Alice asked. "Your clothes were ruined and mine would've been too small. Just a few adjustments and voila — you _finally _have a fashionable outfit."

I turned my attention back to Rosalie. "I'm sorry. I'll have it cleaned and returned to you."

"Don't worry about it. You wouldn't be able to get your smell out of it."

I knew she and Emmett resented my knowing about their secret. I couldn't continue for her to think of me as a threat to her and the rest of the family. "Like I already told Edward, I'm not going to tell anyone about you. Your secret is safe with me."

"I'm not concerned about you blabbing your mouth — no one would to listen to you if you decided to tell." _My mother would listen,_ I thought sarcastically but remained silent. "You shouldn't be socializing with our family. Do you not understand what vampire means?"

"Rosalie…"

"No, Alice," Rosalie insisted harshly, "you wanted her to know so I'm telling her the adult version." Rosalie's golden eyes blazed into mine. "Forget the fairytale Alice told you. We are the most dangerous species on earth. We may not intentionally hurt you, but eventually we will whether it be physically, mentally, or emotionally. We can make you do and believe anything we so desire. We're cunning, selfish creatures. We were created to attract humans because that is what we hunt — just like any other animal. Though my family wishes to live what we like to call a vegetarian lifestyle, it doesn't mean we don't fight the urge for human blood everyday. We're not perfect angels; we have been known to fall off the wagon every now and then. Meaning…sometimes we kill humans."

The food didn't smell so good anymore. Alice gave a heavy sigh, while Rosalie continued to glare at me with her arms folded across her chest as she leaned against the counter.

"How many humans have you killed?" I held a napkin with both hands to keep them from trembling.

"Five." Her expression seemed to mellow some. "Not because I was hungry, but for revenge. Revenge for what they made me become." I thought for a moment about what she said. Edward had told me that Carlisle had changed Rosalie, which meant…

"You were murdered? What happened?"

"The same thing that almost happened to you Halloween night. Difference was — there were more Reggies and no one to save me."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

Rosalie shrugged dismissively. "Jane, you have nothing to apologize for. My death happened before your parents were even thought of." She glanced at the ceiling above her. "Excuse me, I'm going to check on the boys. I'll let Austen know you're awake."

"Don't worry about Rosalie," Alice said once Rosalie had left the room. She took my plate and placed it in the sink. "She still has some issues. When she was human, she had big plans for her future: loving husband, loving family, big home. All that disappeared when her fiancé got drunk and decided he would rather share her with his friends and kill her than marry her. Carlisle found her dying in the street. They just tossed her to the side like she was nothing." Alice's face hardened. "He deserved what she did to him. No one in the family holds it against her."

"Why her? I'm sure Carlisle had come across a dozen of people before who were dying…why Rosalie?"

"I guess it was the senseless reason she was killed and at such a young age; another life taken before its time. Maybe it was her beauty. He had Esme at the time, which made Edward a third wheel. Since he knew how important it was to have someone to share this life with, he wanted Edward to have the same. Rosalie was supposed to have been Edward's partner." That made sense. What a stunning couple they would have made.

Alice skipped into the living room, and quickly returned with her coat and leather gloves.

"What happened?" I asked. Alice paused in the middle of putting on one of her red leather gloves and looked at me. "Between Edward and Rosalie?"

"Nothing. Neither were interested in each other. Then one day she happened to come across Emmett, and it was love at first sight. She rushed him back to Carlisle because she didn't know how to change another human and not kill them."

"What's his story?"

"He was attacked by a wild animal — a bear to be exact." She had her gloves on and slipped into her red coat with fur trim.

"It only seems like Rosalie and Edward are the ones who have a problem with what they are. I mean, you seem…happy."

Alice's giggle sounded like small wind chimes blowing in the wind. "Edward is forever self-loathing. Rosalie did have a good life going for her even though she was engaged to an evil jerk; her bitterness is understood. The rest of us had nothing to lose, except for Carlisle. It took him a while to accept what he had become, but he has made the most out of it and refuses to accept his damnation."

I opened my mouth to question her last statement, but she placed her index finger over her mahogany lips motioning for me to be silent. Five seconds later, Austen came running into the kitchen.

"Glad to see you're not dead. I was starting to get scared." He took the glass of orange juice from in front of me and drank the rest.

"Why?"

"When I'm not sleeping, they're poking food in my mouth trying to fatten me up. I was beginning to think that maybe they kidnapped me and planned on eating me." I froze in fear, but the Cullens laughed. Austen stared at me smiling, then shook his head. "Did your imagination drown in the pond? Hello…the Hansel and Gretel story?"

"Right." I laughed nervously.

"We're going to have a snowball war, do you feel up to joining us?" Jasper asked.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll stay inside. I noticed your library earlier, would there be a problem with me looking around?"

"Help yourself." Alice put a fur cap on her head and followed the guys outside.

"If you need anything, you don't have to yell very loud," Rosalie said and shut the door behind her.

I walked into the library not sure where to start. Luckily, all their books were alphabetized by the author's last name. I climbed stairs to the top floor and started at the beginning. I had to use the rolling ladder to reach the books at the top of the shelves. By the time I had made it to the "D" section, I was panting. I was at the top looking over their collection of Charles Dickens' books when Edward entered the room.

"You shouldn't be doing that." The sound of his voice caused me to smile automatically.

I glanced down at him. "Alice said I could help myself. Am I not supposed to be in here?"

"You're welcomed anywhere in the house. We have no secrets to keep…now," he joked. "I meant climbing the ladder."

"I'm fine — just a little out of shape." I turned my attention back to the books. "I can't believe all the books you have."

"We've had plenty of years to collect them." He remained on the bottom floor, casually walking around the room.

"Some of these books are the original print. Do you know how much money you can make selling them on the internet?"

"Some things are more important than money."

"Spoken by someone who has money."

"The years have been good to us," he said with humor in his voice. "If they were yours, would you be able to sell them?"

A lot of inspiration for my paintings came from the classic books I read. Riches and fame was not something I thrived for. Just because I loved to paint and was good at it, didn't mean I longed to be wealthy or a famous painter. I would have been happy giving away my paintings for charity, reading books, and spending all my free time with Edward. I pushed the thought out of my mind — suddenly remembering his telepathic ability.

"I don't guess I could. I agree with you — some things are more important." I continued to scan the books. "Why aren't you outside playing with the others?"

"They only had room for one more. Now it's guys against girls; Austen's decision."

"_Crime and Punishment_. I loved that book. Here is one I haven't read by Dostoevsky: _The Brothers Karamazov_."

"It's a good book — interesting characters. I think he used each one to represent a part of his life. You can have it."

"I'll just borrow it and bring it back."

I pulled the book out and started climbing down the ladder. My foot slipped on the next rail and a scream caught in my throat as I went falling backwards. I was still tightly holding the book when his strong arms caught me. His contact sent explosive currents racing through my body.

"That was why you shouldn't have been climbing the ladder," he whispered, his breath cool against my ear. A knot formed in my throat, which prevented me from speaking. He set me down, yet he remained so close I could feel the iciness of his body. His lips began to move closer to mine. I waited for his kiss, but it never came.

"I'm sorry," he said. I dropped my lashes quickly to hide the hurt. "I shouldn't…this is wrong." When he stepped away — I immediately missed the cold.

"I understand." My voice broke miserably.

"Do you really?" His voice was so harsh that it knocked the breath out of me. I held the book tightly against my chest with both arms to ease the pain.

"Just because I'm a lot younger than you, doesn't mean I'm completely unaware of what's going on," I retorted in cold sarcasm. "Sure, you may care about me, but I know you didn't kiss me last weekend because you loved me. My lip was bleeding and I shouldn't have forced myself on you."

"Forced yourself — on me?" I was irked by his cool, aloof manner.

"Yes. I just thought the kiss meant more, but now I know it didn't." I was embarrassed to have laid my feelings out in front of him.

"You honestly don't know what power you have over me?"

"I honestly don't."

He moved closer and looked down at me intensely. The room disappeared around us as his extraordinary eyes, which were flecked and ringed with gold, bore into mine. Nothing else existed but me and him. His cold fingers sent a surge of excitement through my body as they touched mine — taking the book from out of my hands and tossing it to the floor. My skin tingled everywhere he touched me: cheek, jaw, lips, chin. Gradually his fingers moved down the base of my neck, and then lightly brushed my collarbone.

"I never thought I would have these feelings again," he whispered. "I made a promise to myself never to get involved with another human…. There are some things I can control such as my cravings for human blood, though it takes a lot of restraint around you. However, the feelings of the heart I cannot contain." He gave a short, desperate laugh. "I am reminded of a saying by Friedrich Nietzsche, 'One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.'"

"How ironic that I feel the same way. I've fallen in love with you — the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't do." He stiffened at the sound of my confession. Two deep lines of worry appeared between his eyes. It was pointless to continue to try and hide my feelings for him. I touched his cheek; his skin cool and smooth beneath my trembling fingertips. "I'm tired of fighting it, aren't you?"

His smile found its way through a mask of uncertainty as his lips pressed against mine. He hesitated for a brief moment before he gently covered my mouth with his. His kiss was soft and sweet — not rough and needy like the last time. Also unlike last time, this time I was able to return his kiss with the same intimacy. This was what I had wanted; a feeling of being one with somebody. Kissing him I could feel all his hurt, his fear, his joy. It was like looking into his very soul. When he pulled away, my spirits soared at the expression of pleasure on his face. I knew he had felt it too.

I continued to hold onto him — not trusting my shaky legs. Once I was able to speak I asked, "What now?"

"Good question." His voice sounded strained. I blushed as his eyes slowly roamed over my figure.

"I've accepted that you're a vampire. You've accepted that I'm human. We've both admitted our feelings for each other. So…does this mean we are officially unofficially dating?"

He chuckled. "Does that mean we know we're dating, but no one else is supposed to know we're dating? Are you embarrassed to be seen publicly with a vampire?"

"I don't want to be a burden or upset your family. I already know how Rosalie and Emmett feel about me."

"Believe it or not, it was actually my family who encouraged me to attempt a relationship with you." He grinned at my tentative stare. "I don't see any reason for us not to be an official couple. Everyone at school already thinks we are, my family will know one way or the other, and I don't have a problem being normal around your parents." I gasped. "You don't want me to meet your parents?"

"It has nothing to do with you being a vampire," I said in rush of panic. My mind raced to find an excuse. I had been so caught up with being in love, I had forgotten one huge problem: There was no way he could ever know who was my mother. "My parents are strict about me dating. I don't think they would allow it."

"I could charm them into liking me. I'm good at that." He gave me his incredible crooked smile to prove his point.

"I just…let's just wait a while before introducing you to them. My dad was pretty upset that night he saw you at my house."

He cocked his bronze head to the side intriguingly. "Funny — I didn't get that impression from his thoughts. He was very curious, but didn't seem upset."

I chewed on my lip nervously. "Well, he was. Then he told Mom and she got upset. It's just not a good idea to introduce a boyfriend to them right now." I bent down and picked the book up from the floor. "I'm going to put this in my room."

"Does this mean I can't come to your house — ever? I could sneak in and no one would ever know."

"No! Edward, please…not now. We can spend time together here and at school. I'll tell them you're tutoring me in math, and Austen can ride home with John."

I struggled to keep from falling down the stairs. My whole body was a ball of nerves. Once inside my room, I quickly closed the door behind me. Keeping our relationship a secret was going to be harder than I thought. Life seemed so unfair. I had jumped hurdle after hurdle, and just when I thought I was going to cross the finish line — there were more hurdles placed in front of me.

_Is it worth it? _I asked myself. _Is he worth it? _That was stupid question; of course he was worth it. I would have died for him. There was something — fate, destiny — that drew me to him. It wasn't his tall, handsome, beautifully proportioned body that attracted me to him; nor was it his power of persuasion. He had tried to make me not like him, but something kept pulling us back together.

I brushed the tears off my cheeks and took a deep breath. I knew our relationship wouldn't last. I knew he would leave eventually, just as he had left my mother. I also knew that just like her I would end up broken and distraught. If it was only just one week, I would live knowing true love. I would savor every moment with him and remember it forever whether in the end I wanted to or not. There was no stopping this train wreck. I would enjoy the ride while it lasted, and forget about the edge of the cliff that was up ahead.


	24. Chapter 24 Inescapable

Chapter 24

Inescapable

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Saturday night at the Cullen's house was spent playing card games. They made acting like a human seem effortless. I found myself sitting back and observing them — going over color schemes for a paiting. My breath quickened, and my cheeks became warm when I happened to notice Edward watching me as closely as I had been watching the others.

Sunday arrived too soon. Edward insisted on driving me home, but with the help of Esme, I was able to talk him out of it. I didn't want to risk the chance of him running into Mom.

"Am I allowed to call your house?" he asked as he held the car door open for me. His grin was irresistibly devastating.

"I'll call you. If a guy starts calling the house, they're going to start freaking out."

"Are you trying to tell me that you have never had a guy interested in you?" I was flatered by the look of surprise in his eyes.

"Sure, some called my house, but there was no need for my parents to be alarmed. I was only twelve or thirteen. My dates consisted of our parents dropping us off at the theater and picking us up two hours later. A guy that age is too scared to make any moves. When you're our age — or my age anyway, your hormones are in overdrive and a guy is no longer uncomfortable in his skin. Parents, especially fathers, begin to worry about their daughters going on a simple date. A lot can happen during a two hour movie." He laughed and my cheeks burned from embarrassment. "Not that I know anything about that. You're the first guy I've ever kissed." _Great Jane, now you sound like a loser. _"I mean, I've kissed guys before, just not as good as you." He had stopped laughing and was staring at me while I continued to open my mouth and make a fool of myself. "That didn't come out right. They kissed good…well, not really, but they were a lot younger than you so I can't compare their kiss to yours." I took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say —"

He leaned forward and put his lips to mine stopping me in mid-sentence.

"I know what you meant," he said gazing into my eyes. I wondered if I would ever get used to his kisses, his closeness, his perfection. God, I hoped not.

On our way home, Austen and I discussed the story we were going to tell our parents: We never left home, the generator worked like a charm, and we had a blast.

The house was unbelievably warm. I got busy putting away the blankets, the candles, and the flashlights. I glanced out the backdoor at the lake. "That was close," I whispered. Chill bumps ran up and down my arms. I felt like I was being watched. My eyes scanned the woods; all I could see were dead trees and snow. I rubbed my arms and turned from the door. My crazy imagination at play again.

I grabbed my cell phone and went to my room. It had been a while since I spoke with Aaron. I decided to call him to see how he was doing.

"Are you snowed in?" he asked in a perky voice.

"I guess you could say that I am. How are things to the south?"

"Cold and light snow. I think it's just supposed to sleet for the rest of the week." He paused. "Did you call for a weather report?"

"No, I called to see how things are going with you."

"You called to see if I would answer the phone in my typical, voluptuous voice, or if I answered with a bark and a growl."

I laughed. "You know me too well. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed that it wasn't a growl."

"I'm not."

"Have you talked to your dad or Mr. Black yet?"

"Right now hasn't been the best time." Aaron's voice lowered. "Something strange has been going on around here."

My chest tightened. "Strange how?"

Aaron took a deep breath and sighed. "Everyone has been acting weird. They've been on edge a lot lately. Dad keeps asking me if I'm feeling okay."

"Have you been?"

"Yeah. I haven't been sick since the day I was born." Aaron chuckled. "I've caught Dad and Mom in a few heated discussions, but as soon as I walk around the corner they quiet down."

"You think it might be marital problems?" I felt for Aaron. Lucky for me, Mom and Dad never faught. If they did, I never saw them.

"No, it's not that. Dad's friends have been coming over a lot lately. They used to just have a get-together every month, but now its three or four times a week. You can feel the tension amongst them when you walk in the room. Mom and Dad have been watching me and my sisters like a hawk. Mr. Black has taken me off the wrecker and put me in the office full time. I asked why but he never answered. I just don't understand what's happening."

"Do you want to come stay with me for a while?" I couldn't think of any other way to help.

"I've still got school. Since it's my senior year, I can't really afford to miss a lot of days. Thanks for the offer though. If things don't get any better, I might take you up on it when I get out for Christmas break." I was sure Mom wouldn't have a problem with Aaron staying for a week or two.

"How are things going on your end?" he asked. "Anything new with you and the snowflake?"

"Edward?" I was unable to contain my smile when I said his name. "They know that I know they're vampires."

"What? How did that work out?"

I told the Aaron everything, including what happened with Reggie at the Halloween Dance. He never interrupted me.

"Wow, sounds like you've had quite an interesting time," he said when I finished talking. "How long do you think you will be able to keep him a secret from your parents?"

"As long as I can. Mom says she's over him, but I'm not sure he is over her. I think he still loves her."

"Jane, do you realize how crazy you sound?" His alarmed tone made me flush in shame. "This can only end badly for you, him, and your mother."

I started to pace my room. "What if she lied? What if she isn't over him and he's not over her? I have to think about my father. What do you think it would do to him if she left with Edward?"

"You're not giving your mother the credit she deserves. She doesn't seem to be that type of person."

"You don't understand how persuasive vampires can be. If Edward is still in love with her — she would be incapable of refusing him."

"Is that what's happened to you?" I detected a hint of sarcasm in Aaron's voice.

"No. Edward has no power over me. He told me that himself. He told me he has telepathy, but the catch is, it doesn't work on me…well, most of the time it doesn't work on me."

"Huh, lucky for you. Admit it, Jane — the only reason you are wanting to keep him from your mother is because you're afraid of losing him. You're selfish."

My temper flared. "I don't have a selfish bone in my body."

Aaron continued as if I hadn't spoken. "You're in love with him and want him all to yourself. You will keep him in the dark as long as you can, but I'm warning you, it will blow up in your face sooner or later. If he loves you, you don't have anything to worry about, which tells me you aren't sure of his feelings about you."

I collapsed on my bed and stared at the ceiling. "He will be leaving in a few months anyway. That's what they do — his older sister told me as much. I don't want to love him, Aaron, but I don't know how to stop."

His voice turned gentle. "We have a thing called imprinting. You know who you are meant to be with from the time you lay eyes on them."

"How do you know? How do you know when it is love or something else?"

"I don't know, but they say when it happens to you — you will know. It's different than love at first sight. It's like a golden thread that ties your soul to theirs. The thread is powerful and can't be broken, no matter how hard you try. The union is preordained and there is nothing you can do to change it even if you wanted to — which you wouldn't."

"Is is mutual?"

"Yeah. There is some story about my parents and the power of imprinting. I think my dad was steadily going with Sue Clearwater's daughter, but then he met my mom and the rest is ancient history."

"Sucks for the other girl." I became depressed. I had felt a connection with Edward; however, it didn't mean that he felt the same for me.

"Unfortunately, she remained bitter with my parents. She has since moved to California and from what I've heard from her brother, she is always in trouble. It really messed her up." _Like it messed up my mother when Edward left her. Like it will probably mess me up when he leaves this time, _I thought.

Aaron and I continued to talk until I heard a car door slam.

"My parents are home. I'll call you later. You don't need to keep putting off talking to your dad about whether or not you are going to turn into a werewolf. I would hate for it to happen while you're surfing."

He laughed. "Yeah, me too. A wet dog can't be attractive."

I threw the phone down and ran outside to greet my parents. I helped Dad with the luggage. They asked how things went. Austen and I glanced at each other and mumbled an okay. Dad escaped to his office, Austen to his room, while Mom and I began to unpack.

"We thought they were going to postpone our flight," she said. She walked in the bathroom and started unpacking their toiletries.

"So you guys had fun?" I asked from the bedroom.

"A blast. We got to see some of our friends from last years convention. This time I got their emails to keep in touch." She walked back in the room and plopped down in the recliner. She watched me hang up Dad's unworn trousers. "There is something different about you."

"I'll be a year older Thursday." I laughed nervously.

"Your face is glowing."

"I've been eating more fruits and vegetables."

Mom dropped the subject, though she kept watching me closely. I excused myself to my room and went to work on my painting of La Push. I hoped to finished it in a few weeks and thought about giving it to Aaron as a Christmas gift.

Our last conversation upset me. There was something in my gut that told me Aaron had a right to be worried. If it wasn't martial problems between his parents, why were they arguing? I wished I could have been closer to help, but there wasn't much I could do for him from over a thousand miles away.

He had been right about me being selfish. It was true that I was fearful of what seeing Edward would do to my mom, but more importantly, I was worried what strain it would cause on our relationship. I knew he would leave eventually, but if he knew Mom was here — it might speed up his decision.

I blocked all thoughts of Edward, Mom, Dad, and Aaron out of my mind, and concentrated on my painting. A few hours later, they called me down to dinner.

After we ate, I joined Mom and Dad in the living room once I had cleaned the kitchen. Mom was reading a new book. She had her feet dangling over Dad's knees while he watched a documentary on war planes.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "I need to ask a favor."

"No," Dad said keeping his eyes glued to the television. Mom marked her page in the book and nudged Dad with her foot. "Oh, alright." He muted the television and looked at me.

"As you probably already know — I've been having some problems in my Geometry class." They didn't say a word. "Last week, me and some other kids from school were talking about problems with other subjects. We thought it would be beneficial if we formed a study group. One who was doing well in geometry could help me, while I helped one who wasn't doing well in English."

"Is that guy who was at the house going to be in this group?" Dad asked.

"Yes."

"And just how many more are going to be in this study group?"

"There will be a total of six, including myself — if I get to go."

"One of the topics isn't sexual education, is it?"

"Dad!" I felt my face turn crimson.

"Steve, that was inappropriate." Mom laughed. "I think it sounds like a wonderful idea. Where do you guys plan on meeting?"

"We are going to go to various houses after school. Some of the parents wouldn't agree to it unless there was adult supervision."

"That leaves our house out of the question," Dad said with a smile.

"It would mean Austen would have to stay with someone until Mom gets home, and I wouldn't be fixing dinner."

"I think I can manage putting something together before I go to work in the morning," Mom smiled. Austen can ride home with John and I'll pick him up from there. I don't have a problem with you joining a study group."

"Me either as long as you don't use each other as a model when studying anatomy," Dad said.

"You just love to embarrass her, don't you?"

"As much as I love to embarrass you." He grinned wickedly over at Mom. Her face turned a light shade of pink as she shook her head.

"So…that is a yes?"

"Yes," Dad said turning up the volume to the television.

I shut the door to my room and did an awkward two-step dance, tripped, and landed heavily on my bed. I giggled and kicked my feet up in the air. I would be seeing Edward at school and going to his house afterward. There would be no reason for him to ever have an excuse to meet my parents. They would never suspect a thing. Brilliant; I was absolutely brilliant.

I got to school early and hung out with Edward before classes began. He would wait for me after history and walk me to break, then to my next class. He did the same for lunch and for seventh period. After school, he drove my car to his house where we spent most of the day in the backyard, in his room, or in the library. We continued the ritual everyday. We never seemed to run out of things to talk about. He was so easy to talk to — I often found myself forgetting he was a vampire.

I had to be cautious when he asked me questions about my childhood. I didn't mind telling him that my Nan raised me until I was two. She probably should have kept me until I was five, but she had to move and my dad wouldn't let me leave with her. I didn't tell him about the crazy times — only the good times. I loved the ocean and swimming, other than that — there wasn't much I missed in Florida — now that I had him.

Wednesday, we went for a walk in the backyard after we finished our hour of study time, which he had insisted upon. The snow continued to fall, but not very heavy. The air was cool and crisp, and the sky was filled with stars.

"Does your family have any big plans for your birthday?" Edward asked walking next to me.

"They're going to take me out to dinner Friday night." I braced myself, hoping he wasn't going to ask me if he could come along.

He stopped walking and I looked back at him curiously. "I hope you don't mind if I give you your gift early. I thought maybe you would be doing something with your family tomorrow and I wouldn't see you."

"A gift? You didn't have to get me anything." I bit my lower lip to try and hide my smile.

He reached into his pocked and pulled out a lavender and baby blue wrapped box. I could tell it was some type of jewelry by the size of it. My pulse quickened as I eagerly took the box from him and ripped it open. When I opened the lid, I gasped at the shiny, gold and silver pendant.

"It's beautiful," I whispered. He smiled and placed the gold chain around my neck. The pendant was a silver crescent moon with a golden star between the tips.

"The moon symbolizes female energy, while the star represents male energy. It is a symbol of light and dark — chaos and order," he said.

"I love it." I wasn't so sure I could be considered a great example for order.

We continued to walk quietly in the snow. I stumbled a few times but he managed to steady me. We walked back to his house and sat in the gazebo swing. We swung and gazed at the stars.

"I'm glad you're not mad that I got you something."

"Why would I be mad that you got me a birthday gift?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Some people don't like gifts. All my years, I've only had one girlfriend and she was human." I focused on one star to keep me level-headed. "She had a problem accepting gifts. She had a problem with birthdays." His brows drew together in an agonized expression.

"What kind of problem?"

"She didn't like them. She was very sensitive when the topic of aging came up."

"A lot of females are." I held my pendant between my fingers and watched it sparkle in the moonlight. "Is this the same girl who you loved but left?"

"Yes. She has been the only girl I've had a relationship with — except you."

"If you loved her so much, why did you leave?" I was pleased with how nonchalant I sounded, though my heart was breaking.

"I realized what a huge mistake we were making. It just seemed like we kept facing one problem right after another. She was almost killed by a vampire because of me. Then, on her eighteenth birthday, Alice threw a party and she received a paper cut. Jasper lost control. He…I…"

"From just a paper cut?" Edward swallowed and nodded his head. "So, you left her because you thought she would be better off without you?"

"Yes."

"Did she know that was why you left?"

"No." Sadness filled his eyes.

"Do you still love her?" I had to know. I had been battling within myself — wanting to ask but scared of his answer.

He turned to me, his eyes shown bright in the pale light of the moon. "I do, but not the way I once did. A lot has changed in twenty years. She was my first love. The practicality about the power of first love is the ignorance that it can never end. I've lived in complete misery since I left her. Then I met you." He smiled. "God knows, I don't deserve a second chance, but He has seen fit to give me one."

"Why didn't you try to find her?"

"I did go back a few months after I left, but she was with someone by then. I was happy for her." He took a breath and slowly let it out. "All that doesn't matter anymore."

"Why?"

"She's dead now."

My hands began to shake and my breathing quickened. "Dead?"

"Yes. I was told it occurred shortly after I last saw her. She was killed by an animal."

"Are you sure? H-how do you know?" I could not control the spasmodic trembling within me.

"Some of our friends dropped by for a visit. One of them mentioned Bella to another vampire, and she confirmed that she had seen her die." He stood and held his hands out for me to take. He must have thought that my shaking was due to the cold and not his story. I grabbed his hand and continued to hold onto him as we walked toward the house.

While we walked, he continued speaking. "I left her so she could live a normal, human life; but instead I sealed her fate."

"You can't blame yourself if she was killed by an animal."

"Had I'd been there for her, she wouldn't have died. It's as simple as that. It's a burden I will have to live with the rest of my life." Edward thought Bella was dead and was blaming himself.

Later that night I tossed and turned with restless dreams; in all of them, I lost Edward. During one dream, I was inside him. I was looking at the world through his eyes. The grief he felt over the death of my mother was more than I could bear. I woke up with tears streaming down my face. I didn't know whether I was crying for myself or for him.

The next day at school, Edward was quick to notice the dark circles under my eyes.

"Rough night?" He gave me a tender kiss on my forehead.

"Yeah." I wasn't able to look at him for fear that I would break-down.

I walked through the rest of the day like a zombie. During lunch, I took a closer look at each of the Cullens. Not only did Edward have a relationship with Mom, but they also had to have been close to her. I wondered if Jasper held himself as responsible for my mother's death as Edward did. They were probably all grieving for a death that had never happened.

As usual, Edward escorted me to my locker after school. I don't know what books I grabbed, I just put some in my book bag, and turned to him. I couldn't take the cloud coverage anymore.

"Will you ride with me to Fairbanks?"

"Yes."

We took Interstate 2 to Airport Way, then turned onto Gaffney Road. I was calm up until that point. Edward was quick to pick up on my erratic pulse and shallow breaths.

"Where exactly are we going?" he asked as I turned onto Cushman Street and passed the university. "I thought maybe you had a sudden change of heart and wanted to introduce me to your father."

"I want to introduce you to my mother — first." I turned west on 2nd Ave. and parked in front of her bookstore. My fingers were tightly wrapped around the steering wheel. I began practicing various breathing techniques to ease my tension.

Edward opened my car door and gently pried my fingers loose. He was laughing and turned me to face him. "Why are you so tense? Trust me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm the one who should be nervous."

"Y-you don't understand." I stared at his chest instead of his face. "You're going to hate me, but I can't continue for you to blame yourself for something you didn't do. I love you too much. I would rather lose you than for you to have to live centuries with an unnecessary burden."

"Jane, you're not making any sense. I don't —"

"Promise me you won't hate?" I lifted my pain stricken eyes to his worried ones. _Promise me that you will forgive me and not hate me? _I thought, unsure if he could hear me.

"I —"

"Jane, what are you doing…" my mother's voice faded to a hushed stillness.

Edward's eyes moved from mine to the person behind me. I shifted sideways to clear the path for them.

"Mom, I think you know Edward Cullen. I'll leave you two alone — I'm sure you both have a lot of catching up to do. I'll be down at the coffee shop on the corner."

I turned my back and briskly walked six stores down to Abel's Brew. I didn't take a seat, I didn't stop to order; I went straight back to the bathroom, locked myself in, and crumbled to the floor.


	25. Chapter 25 The Reunion

Chapter 25

The Reunion

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

Jane asked me to ride with her to Fairbanks, and I agreed. She didn't tell me why, but I assumed it had something to do with meeting her father. He was a professor at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks. I was curious about her sudden change of heart. She had been unbending in her decision to keep me a secret from her parents. I wasn't sure if she was worried about my self-control around humans and didn't want to risk the chance of me killing her family, or if they really were that crazy. I was a patient person and could wait until she was ready; I didn't expect it would have been so soon.

I started to have doubts on the reason for our trip when she passed the university. From the way Jane's heart was racing, we had to be going someplace unpleasant.

"Where exactly are we going? I thought maybe you had a sudden change of heart and wanted to introduce me to your father."

"I want to introduce you to my mother — first." A thin layer of perspiration glistened on her forehead. I thought it very strange for someone to be so afraid of their own mother. She hadn't acted this scared when she had been around Reggie.

She parked her Honda in front of a small, quaint bookstore. I walked around to open her door and had to carefully pry her warm fingers loose from the steering wheel. She inhaled deeply through her nose and slowly released it out of her mouth. With her anxiety at an all time high — it did nothing to help me control my desires. If she didn't calm down soon, I would have to excuse myself and find a solitude place to regain my composure. That wouldn't be a good first impression for her mother.

I laughed at her nervousness once I got her out of the car. "Why are you so tense?" I asked, wishing she would look at me instead of my chest. "Trust me, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm the one who should be nervous."

"Y-you don't understand," she said still refusing to look me in the face. "You're going to hate me, but I can't continue for you to blame yourself for something you didn't do. I love you too much. I would rather lose you than for you to have to live centuries with an unnecessary burden."

She distracted me when she admitted she loved me. The word love wasn't something she used often; she didn't give her love freely to just anyone. She was sincere with her feelings and guarded them closely. Something she must had picked up from her mother. "Jane, you're not making any sense. I don't —"

"Promise me you won't hate me?" She finally lifted her eyes to mine. The unspoken pain was evident. My meeting her parents wasn't worth the agony it was causing her. She had to know that nothing she did could ever make me hate her. _Promise me that you will forgive me and not hate me? _I knew that was what she was thinking. It wasn't something I had made-up inside my head — it was Jane's voice.

"I —"

"Jane, what are you doing…"

It was a voice I never thought I would hear again. It sounded more mature than I remembered. Jane's breathing slowed down, as well as her heartbeat. Reluctantly I moved my eyes to stare at the female standing five feet behind Jane.

Jane moved to the side and said, "Mom, I think you know Edward Cullen. I'll leave you two alone — I'm sure you both have a lot of catching up to do. I'll be down at the coffee shop on the corner." She dropped her head and quickly walked down the street.

Bella and I continued to stare at each other. She was no longer the teenager I once knew. Her hair seemed a little thinner. There were a few silver hairs, but not enough for the human eye to notice. Her skin was still ivory and without a doubt still just as smooth. Her eyes a deep brown also told a different story about her life; she was no longer the naïve girl with a kind heart. She had grown physically and emotionally in the last twenty years.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" She pulled her brown sweater tighter around her. I was still too stunned to respond. Jane had known my story; how long she had known, I couldn't be sure. I also wasn't sure exactly how much she knew.

The silence loomed between us like a heavy fog. Some people passed between us on the sidewalk with curious looks. Bella turned and walked back in the store, certain that I would follow — which I did. She turned the hanging closed sign around to face the public.

"H-how did you find me? Never mind, stupid question." She was trembling; I wasn't sure if it was due to the cold or fear. "Why did you find me? Did you feel the need to make yourself feel better for leaving me twenty years ago?"

"No. I thought you were dead."

"You left me to die." Her words was like a stake through my heart. "The others were right — I was just a pet for you. An experiment…a bet maybe. Let's see how long Edward can be with a human before he loses control and kills her. I won, but ending up losing everything."

"It was never like that." The hatred and sorrow in her eyes was more than I could bear. "I truly loved you." That's what frustrated me the most. She had so easily believed me all those years ago when I told her I didn't want her. I hadn't expected to walk away so effortlessly.

"You don't abandon someone you love. You left me alone to fend for myself against a sadistic vampire," she yelled as tears poured down her face. "Do you have any idea the damage you caused me? Do you even care?" Her face was red with anger.

"Bella, I only left to protect you — for you to be able to live a normal life."

She laughed bitterly. "I would have had a normal life had I never met you. I've lived a life of pure hell because of you. You told me that my memory was no more than a sieve — time heals all wounds. You lied. I never forgot the day you left." She rubbed her scarred wrist. "I've never forgot what the fear of being hunted feels like."

She took a few deep breaths and her face seemed to relax. She casually sat down in one of the chairs designated for customers. I remained standing by the counter — still as a statue.

"When you left, I went through a deep depression. After a few months of endless nightmares and isolation, Charlie threatened to send me to Renee in Florida. I was still holding on to the hope that you would return and admit that you did love me." She fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater. "I was trying to cope with your absence. Sometimes, when I did careless activities — I could hear you. I went to our…your meadow so I wouldn't forget. It was there Laurent found me. He claimed he was only passing through, but Victoria wanted him to see if your family was still in town. Of course, you weren't. He did promise to kill me swiftly and painlessly — if that's even possible. He made sure I knew that Victoria's plans for me were much more vicious."

"Did werewolves kill Laurent?" She nodded woodenly at me. Her eyes were clouded with visions of the past. "I was told it was a werewolf who killed you."

"The werewolves saved me. They would have never hurt me."

The Denali Coven failed to mention that Laurent was going to kill Bella. Maybe they didn't know. All their information they had shared with us had come Victoria. It had all been a lie. My anger burned within me. I had known Victoria couldn't be trusted.

"Jacob Black. Did you know he was a werewolf?" she asked.

"I knew his ancestors were werewolves. His great-grandfather is the one who made the treaty with Carlisle."

"You were there." It was a statement — not a question. "Jacob and I became close friends. He helped piece together some of the pieces of my heart that you broke." I didn't turn away from her accusing eyes. "Had it not been for him and the rest of the wolf pack, Victoria would have killed me. She tried for three months, but finally gave up when she realized it wasn't worth herself getting killed since my death would have been in vain."

"Had I'd known they were still going to hunt you, I would have never left."

Her smile never reached her eyes. "You would have left eventually. I know the real reason you refused to change me. It was never my soul you were worried about. I didn't belong in your world because you never wanted me in your world. My scent that was so tantalizing would have become stale sooner or later. A younger, prettier girl would have come along and I would have been a distant memory." I frustrated me that she thought me so shallow. She never understood how deep my feelings for her had been.

"After I graduated high school, I realized the only way to get over you was to remove myself from everything that reminded me of you. I couldn't stay in Forks without seeing you everywhere. So, I moved to Jacksonville with Renee and Phil. I cut off all relationships that tied me to Forks. I didn't attend Jessica and Mike's wedding, Angela quit emailing me when I never responded, I became distant with Jacob, I never went to visit Charlie…" She clamped her lips to imprison a sob. It was a few moments before she could continued. "I thought I could run from the memories and associations of my past, but the nightmares followed me to Jacksonville. Renee wasn't as patient as Charlie and set me up with a few shrinks. They diagnosed me with everything from anxiety disorder, to posttraumatic stress, even schizoid personality disorder. Of course I couldn't be honest with them about you. If I had I'm sure they would have placed me in a white padded room.

"A few months later, I met Steven. He was…normal. Most of the time I was with him, I was able to forget. I told you that Jacob helped piece together only some of my broken heart — Steve fixed the rest. I was comfortable with him. He made it easy for me to be me." There was a glow in her eyes when she said his name. I had seen that glow and smile before; she used to have it when she saw me. "He was patient during my panic attacks when I would see a silver Volvo, or hear the name Edward, or see a red headed female.

"My outbursts worsened after Jane was born. It wasn't just my safety I had to be concerned for, but the safety of my child and husband. I knew _she _was still out there — that _she _would always be out there. I sent Jane to live with Renee for the first two years. I was terrified that she would find me or have another vampire find me. I knew what everyone considered a fantasy world was real. I knew what dangers hid not only in the night, but in the day as well.

"Emotionally I was over you, but mentally I was a wreck. For the first five years of Jane's life, I lived in fear. Fear one of you would come and steal her away. I used to have nightmares — me walking into her room to find an empty bed. Steve was scared that I was having postpartum depression. All my shrink did was prescribe more medication. Most of the time I sat around the house like a zombie.

"Then when I got pregnant with Austen, I had to come off all the medication. My eyes were clear and I saw how my actions were affecting Jane." She gulped hard as hot tears slipped down her cheeks. "She was reclusive and quiet. By the time Austen was born, she was six going on thirty. I never wanted her to end up like me. I wanted to be a better mother than Renee, but I wasn't."

"You can't say you were a terrible mother. Look how she turned out. She is strong, independent…just as stubborn as you." I couldn't resist a smile thinking of her now. She risked everything just so I wouldn't feel guilty for a death that never was. How could I ever hate such a selfless creature? My love for her intensified daily.

"Exactly how long have you known my daughter?"

"Since the beginning of the school year." I was a little embarrassed to explain my family's childish game. "We had been living in Vermont for a little over seven years, so it was time for us to move. We each picked a place where we wanted to live next, and placed it in a hat. Carlisle picked Emmett's choice — North Pole." I shook my head miserably. "He put it in as a joke."

"You've been living in the same small city with me — friends with my daughter, and yet you thought I was dead?" Her brown eyes narrowed in my direction. "How could you not have known I was Jane's mother? I find it hard to believe that a vampire with your talents didn't figure it out from the beginning."

Looking back, I found it hard to believe also. The similarities were definitely there, but never in a million years would I'd ever thought I could have fallen in love with Bella's daughter.

"I can't read her mind just as I can't yours."

"And my scent? Is it not as alluring as it once was?" Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Jane's scent must overpower yours."

Suddenly, her brown eyes grew wild. "You stay the hell away from my daughter," she yelled as she leaped from her chair. "I've been protecting her from you and your kind for seventeen years. I will not sit idly by while her life gets ripped apart the way mine was."

"I would never hurt her."

"The way you said you would never hurt me?" I had promised to protect her — a promise I failed to keep. "Do you want her to end up a basket case like I did? Do you want her running from vampires who want to kill her just for fun? You know how it will end. You will dazzle her and promise her your devotion. Then in a few months, when things begin to get out of hand, you will grasp what a huge mistake you made and leave her broken hearted."

"I'm not going to make the same mistake twice," I said with a firm voice.

Intense astonishment touched her pale face. "Are you telling me that if she wishes to become a vampire, you will change her?"

"Don't be absurd, Bella. I don't wish this life on anyone. You may truly think me a monster, but I would never take a beating heart from anyone, especially someone I love."

"If you truly love her, then you will walk away now." Her eyes pleaded with me. "If you allow this relationship to continue, it will only make it that much harder for her down the road. There are other James, Laurents, and Victorias out there waiting for her just because she is with you. You wont be able to protect her from them just like you couldn't protect me. You know the consequences of her being around you. Just one drop of blood is all it would take for one of you to lose control. She may not be as lucky as I was. Do you want that for her?"

I had thought about everything Bella mentioned. They were all reasons why I shouldn't be with Jane. Yet, the energy and power she projected beckoned me to stay. There had been an immediate and total attraction the first time I watched her try to sneak into Mrs. Sims class; before her clean, sweet scent had time to drug me. I had tried to stay away because of the dangers, but something kept pushing us together again — like a magnet. Jane called it fate. I called it a curse.

I smiled to myself as I recalled some private memories: studying Venus, seeing her thrill at skating for the first time, our crazy what if scenarios, our first date, our first kiss and the kisses after that. A permanent sorrow weighed me down knowing I would never see her again. I would never forget a single detail of her face, her touch, her voice.

"Promise me you will tell her that I don't hate her." It was my turn to beg. "I don't want her blaming herself for my absence." She inclined her head in compliance. I strode to the door and paused with my hand on the handle. "Will you forgive me for the pain I unwillingly caused you twenty years ago? It was never my intention for you to suffer so."

"All is forgiven," she said with a gentle softness in her voice. "Had you'd granted me what I wanted, I wouldn't have had two beautiful children and an endearing husband whom I love with all my heart."

I left her bookstore without looking back. I left Fairbanks as fast as my feet could take me before I had a chance to change my mind.

When I arrived home, only my siblings were there waiting for me. Alice must've had a vision of my encounter with Bella. She was unable to contain herself when I walked through the front door.

"Bella is alive," she shrilled, grinning ear to ear. "I knew Victoria had lied to Irina. I would have known if something terrible had happened to her."

"And Jane is her daughter. How freaky is that?" Emmett grinned at me.

"I can't blame Bella for being angry," Alice said. "But I knew she would forgive you. She looked good."

"Can't anything be private," I roared. Everyone's smile vanished. "She did forgive me; however, she has requested that we leave North Pole. In particularly that I leave North Pole. She wasn't clear on how she felt about the whole family."

"You can't leave," Alice exclaimed with irritation. "Did you tell her about your feelings for Jane?"

"That's why I can't stay," I replied through clenched teeth. "Like I told you in the beginning, in the middle, and now the end. It would never work. I'll have the same problems with Jane as I did with Bella. There is no use in dragging it out. I've seen and heard the damage I did to Bella. I wont make the same mistake twice."

"But you are making the same mistake," she yelled in frustration. "It's like déjà vu. Jane is already in love with you. You leaving will break her heart."

"You don't understand. I'll end up doing that anyway, so why prolong it? Bella doesn't want me around her daughter. She has made a request for me to leave. The least I can do for the pain I've caused her is to comply."

Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett all looked at each other — unsure what to say.

Alice crossed her arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Very well." I felt as hollow as my voice sounded. I excused myself to my quarters while my family debated their actions below me.

Bella had made it easy for me; I didn't have to try and convince Jane that this was something I wanted. I wasn't sure I could have pulled it off again.

I started packing my books and music away. I was finished in a matter of minutes. I scanned the room making sure I wasn't leaving anything of value behind because I had no intention of coming back. My eyes caught something protruding behind my bookshelf. I pulled out the painting of Venus I had purchased from Mrs. Sims.

When I first saw it, I knew I had to have it. The goddess reminded me of Jane and I was the planet she was embracing. I had tried to create sulfuric air around me to keep her from getting too close — not just for her safety but for mine also. Yet she was able to break through and showed me that it was possible to love again.

My body slumped in despair as an inner torment began to gnaw at me. The last traces of my resistance disintegrated. This had been my last chance at love — at happiness. I never understood why I was spared from the clutches of death when I was seventeen, only to live such an empty, useless life afterward — a life I no longer wanted.


	26. Chapter 26 Compromise

**Chapter 26**

Compromise

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I couldn't stay on the floor forever. A few customers knocked needing to get in the bathroom, but I wasn't ready to face the world — wasn't sure if I would ever be ready. I knew sooner or later the manager would start banging on the door, causing a scene, and asking me if I needed an ambulance. A hearse maybe, but there was no medical team qualified to save my heart.

The cold water felt good on my face. I stared back at my reflection in the mirror not recognizing myself. My eyes were lifeless. I suddenly felt much older than seventeen.

"You've done this to yourself," I said to the person in the mirror. "What did you expect? A singing choir and doves?" I tried to smile, but ending up softly sobbing instead.

I patted my face dry, smoothed my hair back behind my ears, straightened my clothes, then opened the door to face the cruel world once again.

The small café held only a few customers. I took the small round table against the wall furthest from the entrance. The smell of coffee invaded my senses — reminding me of my father. My eyes watered worrying of how my mother reuniting with her first love would affect him. Though my mother swore she was over him, Edward could be very compelling. It's easy to say you don't love someone when they aren't around. I would never be able to look into his eyes and tell him I didn't love him. I would never be able to convince myself of that.

With my elbows on the table, I placed my head between my hands and began to massage my temples. I tried not to think about what was happening four stores down.

"Is there something I can get you Miss?"

I jumped at the sound of the worker standing next to me.

"I-I'm okay. Thanks." He looked uncertain, but turned and walked back behind his counter.

My hand rested on my chest to keep my heart from escaping. My finger ran over the lump under my shirt feeling the pendant close to my heart. I pulled the necklace off and studied it in my hand. He had thought of me as a light in his dark world. Regret churned in my stomach knowing I had let him down by lying and conniving my way into his heart.

The bell at the top of the door rang as it was opened, blowing the cold air inside along with a customer. The chair next to me made a terrible screeching sound as someone pulled it back to sit down. I quickly closed my hand over the pendant and hid it in my pocket. My mother folded her hands together on the table top. Her eyes were sad and troubled.

"I'm…I'm sorry." My voice was barely noticeable.

She reached out and took my hand. A thoughtful smile curved her mouth. "It's okay. I totally understand."

"He thought he was somehow responsible for your death. I couldn't look at him everyday knowing the truth. I'm sorry if I hurt you by bringing him here."

"Don't be sorry. I've put to rest a part of my life that I've kept hidden for twenty years. I feel…free. All is forgiven."

"What about him? How upset is he?" Now his family would know the truth. Alice hadn't been the one to slip and tell me a guarded family secret. I had already known but kept my mouth shut while she took the blame. _More groveling I will have to do_, I thought to myself.

"He doesn't hate you. He wanted me to let you know that." Her hand tightened around mine. "I know how hard this is going to be for you. I'm sorry you got involved in this…other world. You may feel like you can't breathe at times — like a huge hole has been torn from your chest. You have to know that you will make it. It's not the end of the world, trust me. I'll be there for you every step of the way."

Panic welled in my throat making it hard for me to breathe. Alarm and anger rippled along my spine. I jerked my hand from her grasp and longingly looked toward the entrance door, which remained closed.

"Where is he?"

"Jane, he's gone," she said in a gentle voice.

"Gone as in I'll see him tomorrow, or…" I took a few deep breaths to keep from passing out. "Or gone as in…gone?"

"I know it hurts. It would never had worked, Jane. He should have never —"

I jumped up from the table, knocking my chair over, and was out the door into the dark snowy night before she had time to stop me. My fingers desperately searched for the car keys in my pocket. I had to get to him. I couldn't let it end this way.

"Jane," Mom yelled from behind me. "Jane. He's long gone by now. You're in no mood to be driving in this weather." I dropped the keys and fumbled for them on the ground. She grabbed my arm, but I pulled away. "Jane, he's not good for you. You need to let him go."

I jerked the car door open and turned back to look in her scared eyes. "I'm not going to make the same mistake you did. I swore I wouldn't follow in your footsteps — and I'm not. I might not be able to stop him from leaving, but I'm going to try." Mom watched me leave with a stunned look on her face. No doubt I would be severely punished for my act of rebellion.

I pushed the Honda as fast as it would go without driving too recklessly. I didn't know what I was going to do once I got to his house. Beg and plead on my knees? Cry like a lost child? I was certain that no matter what I did or said would have any influence of changing his mind, but I had to try.

I was rehearsing in my head what I was going to say to Edward as I turned on the road that lead to his house. It was not uncommon for a moose or a deer to wander out into the middle of the road; however, it was uncommon for a person. I swallowed a scream as my headlights came across a form standing only inches in front of my car. I slammed on brakes to avoid hitting them, and my car started to fish tale out of control. I closed my eyes and clutched the steering wheel, praying that I wouldn't kill them or myself. _This would be a perfect ending to such a tragic story, _I thought.

It seemed like the drama should have lasted much longer than it did. I had scarcely finished my prayer, when my car door opened. Immediately I was bombarded with fear as someone grabbed a hold of me, and quickly pulled me from the car.

"I'm going to release you," Alice said, covering my mouth with her hand, "but you have to swear not to scream." I nodded my head. "And for heaven sake, slow your heartbeat." Just as quickly as she had grabbed me — she let go.

"You scared the shit out of me," I seethed trying to calm my nerves. "What were you thinking? I could have killed you."

Alice giggled. "You still have a lot to learn." Then her face grew serious. "I wanted to stop you before you got to the house. As soon as he heard you, he took off out his window and wasn't planning on coming back."

"You saw this?" Under normal circumstances I would have disagreed with Alice wanting to change what the future had already had planned. Except this wasn't considered a normal circumstance. I was very thankful for her ability and apparent friendship.

"I don't agree with his plan of action. I didn't agree with it when he decided to leave your mother." She chastised me with her eyes. I opened my mouth to apologize, but she shook her head to stop me. "We don't have time to talk about that right now. I have to get you to the house." I turned and started to walk back to my car. "Where are you going?"

I shot a questioning glance over my shoulder. "To the car."

"He'll hear you approaching a mile away."

"Are you telling me I have to walk? Alice, that will take forever."

"I'm going to give you a lift. You don't have any problems with piggy-back rides, do you?"

"You are going to carry me?" I asked, unable to keep the laughter out of my voice.

"I'm a vampire. I'm very strong and fast."

We moved my car to the side of the road out of harms way. Alice squatted and grabbed onto my thighs, while my arms wrapped around her neck. I couldn't help but giggle the whole time.

"You're not going to have much time once we get to the house," Alice said. "Since this is your first time running with a vampire, let me suggest that you keep your eyes shut and hold your breath. I'm going to take you straight up to his room. Good luck."

"Wait. I thought since you stopped me from pulling up to your house you automatically changed the future. He can still leave?"

"Yes. Hold on."

She started running before I had a chance to take a deep breath; when I did I got a mouthful of snow. The cold air stung my face. The wind whistled in my ear, whipping my hair behind me. It felt like I was on a really fast ride at an amusement park. My muscles automatically tensed with adrenaline. I wanted to open my eyes, but now was not the time to be testing my equilibrium. Alice said I had to be quick, something I already wasn't good at doing successfully without falling.

I opened my eyes once the wind stopped and slid off Alice's back. Edward's door stood right in front of me. She gently pushed me forward and gave me a wink before disappearing in a blur. It seemed like a dream, except the tightening in my chest was a constant reminder that it was real.

My hand turned the silver knob while my other hand pushed against the door. Edward was on the floor staring at a painting — _my _painting — of Venus. His back, which was facing me, stiffened. I stood motionless as he eloquently rose to his feet.

"Is there a reason you're here?" I shivered at the sound of bitterness in his voice. Suddenly, I forgot everything I had wanted to say to him. He kept his back to me as he placed the painting behind his bookshelf and walked over to the window. "Exactly how long have you known?"

"For a while." I found it difficult to speak. My eyes stayed glued to him — scared that if I blinked or looked away he would be gone.

"Bella would have never mentioned me."

"I found pictures of you at Grandpa Charlie's when we went to Forks for his funeral. Mom never revealed your secret. There was a guy I met in Forks who was vaguely familiar with your family and history."

"Those dogs just can't seem to keep their mouths shut." He chuckled with a dry and cynical sound. "Now you know that I am the cause for Bella — your mother's — psychotic actions." He turned then to face me. His eyes were stony with anger. "I'm her nightmare. I'm her panic attacks. I'm the reason you had no mother for the first five years of your life. She was almost killed by three vampires who only wanted her because _I _wanted her."

I met his gaze. "You're trying to scare me — to make me hate you so leaving will be easy. Everything in life comes with some type of consequence. You don't know that what happened to my mother will happen to me. Alice can't even predict that."

"I am trying to scare you because you don't belong with me. Don't you understand why there can never be a friendship, or any other type of relationship between us? You should be with your kind and I should stay with mine. There is no changing who we are. The sooner you face that truth, the quicker you will accept my absence."

"I'll never accept your absence." I moved closer to him, but he took a cautious step back. "You can't compare me to my mother because I'm not her. I'm not going to let you walk away so easily. If you leave…I'll make it my mission in life to find you."

"And does that seem normal to you?" He sneered.

"It seems more normal than what you continue to do," I shot back refusing to back down. "Okay, your relationship with my mother ended badly. It didn't work out the way either of you wanted. That doesn't mean ours will end the same — that we shouldn't even try. What if people in sports reacted the same way? I lost to this person last year in tennis so why even bother playing this year. The year they decided not to play could be the year they would have won the gold."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly. "That's a game, Jane. This is life. You could die so very easily by being with me." Slowly, his defenses began to fall. He looked at me not with eyes of bitterness or hate, but with weary, lonely eyes.

"Do you know what one drop of your blood could do on a bad day? Do you know what would happen if I lost _any _control with you? You are like my own personal hell. Your blood torments me, but the vessel it's stored in is so fascinating and attractive." He probably thought he had offended me by his comment and averted his eyes from my gaze. "It's so hard for me to explain it."

"I understand you better than you think." This time when I stepped closer to him, he didn't move. "I like all kind of truffles, but my favorite is white chocolate. It's like being in a store with several different flavored truffles: Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, milky almond, chocolate cinnamon, champagne. But there is only one white chocolate truffle. What's so distressing is that the ganache in it is poisonous. It could be lethal, but I wont know until I've ingested it. And though I have all these other truffles around, the white chocolate is the only one I want — regardless of how dangerous it is. Should I gorge on all the others while I'm constantly thinking about the one I really want, or should I take my chance and stop wasting time because I know I will never be fully satisfied — ever?"

"It's not fair for you to have to risk your life just to be with me."

"And it's not fair for you not to give me a chance at making this work," I retaliated.

"Right now everything seems cut and dry, but sooner or later you're going to want certain things that I can't give you," he said with despair in his voice. "I don't age, Jane. I don't eat human food. I can't take a sunny stroll with you in public. I can't hold you for a long period of time without freezing you. These are things that will never change between us because I refuse to turn you into a monster."

I stepped back, momentarily stunned. "Monster?"

"Yes." His eyes darkened as he stared at me intensely. I saw his fear. It was only then that I recognized what his worst nightmare was. He saw himself not like I did, but as a demon — a vile creature.

I placed my hand against his face — slick as marble. I loved the feel of his skin; it was unlike anything I would ever feel again.

"You are not a monster." I tried to assure him.

"How can you say that when right now my mouth is watering for your blood? After the pain and hurt I've caused your mother, how can you not look at me with disgust?"

"The pain you caused my mother is no greater than the pain you caused yourself. I…I feel terrible that you are in such agony because of my humanity."

"Never apologize for being human. I love your humanity." I smiled as he took my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist. "The day will come when you will want to give up a beating heart for a cold, static one." I shook my head, but he only chuckled and nodded. "Yes. When you watch yourself with judging eyes as you begin to age and think you are less attractive to me. When you bore of the lack of intimacy I can provide. When you think my life is much easier than yours. When you come in contact with another vampire and they feel pity for you because I wont take your soul."

"Being a vampire doesn't mean you have no soul. To have no soul you would have no conscience. You can't tell me that you are more of a monster than Reggie or Mackenzie just because you are a vampire." He remained quiet. "Right now I have no desire to change. I've still got high school then college. I'm not saying I'll never want to, but I'm happy being me right now. I would never push you into doing something you think is morally wrong — although I disagree with your logic." His laugh caused my smile to widen. Then I remembered what was at stake and I placed my cheek against his chest.

"Please, don't go," I whispered. His hand smoothed my hair.

"Bella will never agree to us. She bears too many scars of what my lifestyle means for a human. I have no right to ask permission to date her daughter."

"Then we wont tell her." There was a rumble of laughter in his throat.

"She would figure it out eventually."

"Then let's be honest with her." I pulled back and looked him in the eye. I could tell he was skeptical by the way his eyebrow was arched. "Once she realizes she was wrong and that you have no intentions of going anywhere, she'll be fine with it."

"You underestimate a mother's love. She will be fighting just as hard at keeping me away as you are at trying to keep me from leaving."

"So are you going to give up — just like that?"

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't want to be the one to pull you two apart. I'm not worth it. However," he held a hand up to silence me, "I don't want to make the same foolish mistake I made twenty years ago. I don't want to do that kind of damage to your heart — not when you've healed mine." I reveled in his open admiration for me.

"I hope you two have determined the status of your relationship," Alice said as she barged through the door. "Bella is seconds away from calling the cops."

"She wouldn't…" But I stopped knowing she would.

Alice thought things would go much smoother if she were the one who took me home. Edward wouldn't hear of it. He said he should be the one since it was his fault to begin with. When I tried to explain that I was responsible for my own decisions, they both ignored me.

Alice had already parked my car in front of their house and Edward assisted me in the passenger seat. She wished us luck as Edward peeled away from the house. I tried calling the house on my cell phone, but there was no service. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously while Edward's composure never wavered.

"You're not going to drop me off, then change your mind and leave — are you?" His laugh calmed my nerves.

"Ah, it sounds like I about have you convinced that I _am _a monster after all." He shook his head and reached for my hand. "If I ever decide that what we have is too much of a risk for you — I will let you know."

I was slightly comforted by his comment. I didn't like the idea of leaving my future entirely up to him without me having a say so in the matter, but I wasn't going to argue with him about it just yet. There was still that one huge obstacle in our way — my mother.

We pulled up to the house and my temper began to rise at the sight of the patrol car sitting in my yard.

"I can't believe her!" I flung the car door open and slammed it with as much energy I had. Edward was by my side before I had a chance to take a single step forward.

"Maybe it would be best if I leave —"

"Oh no. She has no right to dictate who I can or can't see." I began to move toward the house with determination.

"She is your mother, Jane," Edward said behind me. "I can't say I blame her."

I stalled. "I can see why she is worried, but it is still my life. She has to trust me to make the right decisions." I turned and faced him. "Right now I choose you. I know what I'm getting involved in."

The house door opened and my father stepped outside.

"Jane, where the hell have you been? Your mother has been worried sick." His eyes focused on the person behind me.

I opened my mouth to explain just as Mom pushed herself in front of Dad. The top of a police hat could be seen just over Dad's shoulder. Sensing the cop behind him, Dad turned and apologized for the inconvenience. The policeman looked agitated to have wasted his precious time. All four of us stood quietly in the snow until the patrol car was vanished down the road.

"Steve, why don't you and Jane go inside and set the table for dinner," Mom said keeping her eyes focused on Edward.

"I'm not hungry." I remained planted in front of Edward as if protecting him from my mother's glare.

"You can at least eat some cake and be civilized," Dad said. "Come inside before you freeze." When I didn't move, Dad's voice became more forceful. "Now, Jane."

"Go, don't worry," Edward whispered as his hand lightly urged me forward. "Have a good birthday."

Reluctantly, I left him and went inside. I heard Mom tell Dad she would be in shortly and then the door closed. I took the steps two at a time almost breaking my neck. Dad mumbled something, but I was too focused on trying to get to my room so I could watch from my window.

I threw the curtains back and raised the window to a crack. I cuffed my hands around my ears so I could hear better. Mom was closer to Edward, but still kept a safe distance.

"Did you tell her you were leaving?" Mom asked.

"I've had a change of plans."

Mom's back was to me, but I could only imagine the look on her face.

"Why are you doing this to me? If you truly have any decency in you, you would leave us alone."

"I screwed up twenty years ago when I left you. I thought I was doing the right thing. Had I known what was going to happen — I never would have left. It was wrong for me to leave then, just like it would be wrong for me to leave now." Edward's eyes briefly flashed up to meet mine. "I know the risks involved, so does she. I'll take extra care of her Bella. When it gets to be too much, then I'll leave in my own timing under my own will."

"If you think I'm going to allow this relationship with my daughter, you're sadly mistaken. You nor any of the other Cullens are welcomed at my house. Don't push me, Edward. You have no idea how much I've grown in twenty years."

The door slammed so hard downstairs it rattled the windows. Edward gave me a reassuring smile before Mom grabbed my arm and jerked me away from the window. She shut and locked the window, then pulled the curtains together.

"You are not allowed to see him," she said in a choked voice. "I have protected you from his type for seventeen years — I love you too much not to give a damn now. You may think this is love, but it's not. You can't _love _his kind and his kind is unable to love. What you have is infatuation for something mythical. This isn't one of your novels, Jane. You haven't experienced —" The knock on the door silenced her.

"Are we going to eat or not?" he asked, poking his head into the room.

They paused at the door for me. I took one last look out the window to the empty, snow covered yard below.


	27. Chapter 27 Separation

Chapter 27

Separation

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

After a quiet night of cake and ice cream, I went to my room and slept peacefully. When I awoke, I wasn't too surprised to find Mom sitting in a chair next to my window. There were dark circles under her eyes showing she hadn't slept at all.

"What's next? Bars on my window?" I asked with a tight smile. Edward had made it quite clear that he wasn't going to leave. I had won that battle.

"If that's what it is going to have to take." She didn't return my smile. "I know all his tricks, Jane."

I got out of bed without another word, grabbed clean clothes, and locked myself in my bathroom. I wasn't going to let her drag my spirits down. I had fought to keep Edward in North Pole. I hadn't sat idly by and let him walk away like she did years ago.

Mine and Edward's last conversation tumbled around in my head as I saturated my body under the steady stream of hot water. I still couldn't get over the fact that he thought he had no soul. To me his soul was more evident than mine. Still, his belief of having no soul was what kept him from transforming another human into a vampire.

To say that I wasn't curious about becoming a vampire would have been a lie. The thought of immortality scared but excited me at the same time. Of course it only thrilled me because of the possibility of spending my life with him. I shut the water off as well as my thoughts of another life. There was no reason to rush into anything. I had years before my body would physically start to break down.

Mom was no longer in my room. I decided to finally finish my painting of La Push. My mind was now filled with so many other ideas for paintings — it was like I had been reborn. I enthusiastically went to work. With every brush stroke I thought of the smell, the sound of the waves, the feel of the wind coming off the ocean, the taste of salt in the air. I remembered how the rocks felt under my feet, and how the skies moved with the currents.

"Earth to Jane." I jumped at the sound of my father's voice right behind me.

"You could knock."

He laughed and squeezed my shoulders. "I did — several times, but you never answered. I thought you had those irritating headphones stuck in your ears." He studied my painting. "Where is that? Another one of your fairylands?" Most of my paintings were pictures from my dreams, which usually came from the book I happened to be reading that week.

"This time it's a real place. La Push."

"Huh. Well, la push yourself into some decent clothes."

"Why? Where are we going?" It was Saturday. Dad never did anything on Saturday but work. He had been working on writing his own book since before I was born. What he was writing about, no one knew — not even Mom.

"I thought it would be a good day for you to shop for your birthday gift. Then your mother gave me a list of items to pick up at the store."

"Mom is letting you shop for groceries?" I asked with a surprised smile on my face.

"Only because you are going to be with me."

I didn't ask why she wasn't taking me shopping for my birthday gift as always. She was probably going to get some sleep so she could stay up next to my window again tonight. I didn't argue with her decision to send me away with Dad. I was in no mood to be stuck in a car and have to listen on how Edward was going to break my heart and drive me insane just as he had her. Quickly, I threw on a clean t-shirt, sweatshirt, and jeans, then covered my head with a toboggan.

Fairbanks had two good shops for artists. One, which attracted advanced artists, was more pricey than the other. I preferred to go to Mrs. Carson's, which was on the west end of town. She was always helpful with young aspiring artists. Dad sat in a corner with a book he had brought, while I chatted with Mrs. Carson and shopped up and down the aisles. I thought of the new paintings I wanted to work on, and picked up some lighter color paints. She had a sale on brushes, and I grabbed some. We stayed in the store for about an hour.

Once we left there, Dad wanted to stop by the university and pick up something he left in his office. Then it was back to North Pole to the grocery store. Dad handed me the list and pushed the buggy next to me. The store wasn't too crowded, so I didn't mind Dad freely singing along with the music that was being played throughout the store. Every now and then he would nudge me to sing along. I would mumble a few lines while I kept my nose in the list.

It was quite humorous shopping with Dad. He would thump and shake the melons, and squeeze and smell the vegetables. He had no clue what he was doing. One elderly couple actually stopped and watched his performance in the produce section.

"Uh-huh…uh-huh," he said while shaking the honeydew next to his ear. His eyes moved back and forth looking up towards the ceiling. "I think this one will be perfectly sweet." He smiled and placed it in the buggy.

He was loudly singing with a Beatles song as we rounded aisle five to turn onto aisle six. His buggy slammed into another one that was coming around the corner.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said. "Do you need my insurance information?" I was still on aisle five hid behind a row of chips.

The driver of the other buggy laughed. "It doesn't look like any harm was done," she said. "Aren't you Professor Watson, the literature teacher at the university?"

"Yes, but you can call me Steve since you aren't a student of mine." I rolled my eyes. I never knew if Dad was trying to flirt or just being himself.

"You moved here a few years ago, didn't you? I met your wife a couple of times at some school functions. I believe your daughter and my son are both juniors. Reggie, aren't you and a Watson girl in the same class?"

My heart started thumping loudly. I strained my ears to hear a response. There was only one Reggie I knew, but he was said to be laid up with some serious injuries. The official report was that he was involved in a car accident. In actuality, Emmett and Jasper caused his injuries, but only after Reggie had attacked me.

"My son was involved in a terrible accident Halloween. He's just now able to get out." She lowered her voice. "He doesn't like to, but the doctor thinks fresh air will help with the depression that seems to have set in. My husband had to go into work and I had to pick up a few things for a dinner party we are having tonight. I didn't want to leave him alone — if you know what I mean?"

"I'm sorry. My daughter didn't mention a class member of hers being in an accident. Jane, do you…" My eyes darted down to the opposite end of the aisle. I turned to run, but Dad's hand caught my arm and pulled me around the corner. "Jane," Dad said more sternly, "do you know — I'm sorry, I didn't catch the name."

"Adams. I'm Clair and this is my son, Reggie."

I slowly raised my eyes to Clair. Her green eyes were bloodshot, and her blond hair hung in ringlets around her face. She looked much older than my parents. I remembered Edward's comment about her battle with alcohol as well as her attempted suicides. Behind her was a face I would never forget.

Reggie's eyes were focused on me. He had lost so much weight since the last time I had seen him. His arm was heavily wrapped and braced at his side. I stared into his cold eyes and wondered if he remembered anything from that night. I gasped as a shiver ran up my spine, and part of me knew he hadn't forgotten a thing.

"Jane, do you know Reggie?" Dad asked.

"Yeah. Hey." I nervously started chewing my bottom lip, and focused my eyes on the black and white speckled floor.

"His jaw is still wired shut. He broke it in the accident," Clair explained. "You are more than welcomed to stop by the house and visit."

"I'm sure she will have plenty of time on her hands with the holidays coming up shortly," Dad said. "I guess we need to be finishing up. My wife will be wondering what's taking so long. She already thinks me incapable of shopping by myself." Dad laughed.

He maneuvered his buggy around Clair's and started down aisle six. I kept my eyes down as I tried to distance myself from Reggie as I passed, but he was still remarkably fast. He grabbed my arm with his good one causing me to wince. I was shocked at his strength. There was that famous sadistic smile on his face. His eyes were hard and filled with dislike. Tears stung my eyes as scenes from Halloween night replayed in my head. There was a long, brittle silence between us.

"Jane, what do we need to get on his aisle?" Dad asked.

Reggie released my arm, turned, and walked away.

"Olives," I mumbled. I stood paralyzed with fear. Not for myself, but with the fact that Reggie may know the Cullens secret. I would have to call Edward as soon as I got home. This information couldn't wait until Monday. Monday — there was a pain in my chest thinking I was going to have to wait that long to see him again. I began to regret introducing him to Mom.

"Mm, pickles. Do you know where pickles come from?"

I sighed and walked down to where Dad was eyeing the several shelves of pickles.

"Cucumbers. Are you going to tap the side of the jar to see if they are good pickles or not?" I joked trying to shake off my encounter with Reggie.

"Smart ass."

I reached for a jar of green olives and heard a distinctive tapping on a jar.

When we got home, I helped Dad unload the SUV. Mom was waiting in the kitchen and started putting the items away. I followed Dad with the last bag and placed it on the table. Mom silently ignored my presence. I forced a heavy sigh before leaving the kitchen.

I gathered my art supplies out of the vehicle, and hurried up to my room. I didn't want to delay calling Edward and warning him about Reggie. I dropped my supplies on the bed, and snatched my book bag from the floor. The side pocket where I normally kept my cell phone was empty. I searched my room to no avail. My face scrunched in deep thought. _Maybe I left it on the table next to the front door, _I thought as I hurried down the stairs. It wasn't there either.

"Mom, have you seen my cell phone?" I walked in the kitchen only to find it empty. Some of the grocery bags still set on the table. I checked in Dad's office, but no one was there. I was headed towards their bedroom and glanced out the backdoor. Mom's back was to me, and Dad's face no longer carried the smile he had moments ago. Whatever they were discussing must have been serious. I doubted Mom was telling him that my boyfriend used to be her boyfriend when she was my age.

"Mom, have you seen my cell phone?" I asked, opening the backdoor.

"I took it. You're on restrictions from using it," she replied without turning to look at me. Dad offered his apologetic grin.

"You went through my bag and took it? All you had to do was ask for it — you didn't have to invade my privacy to get it." I crossed my arms and angrily tapped my foot on the floor. "What other restrictions am I on?"

"We should go in and sit down — talk this out," Dad said.

"My mind is made up, Steve. I've already made all the arrangements." Mom turned and brushed past me.

I stared at Dad for some clue. He put his arm around my shoulder, and led me inside where he motioned for me to sit on the couch. Mom paced in front of the fireplace with one arm was crossed over her chest supporting the other arm as she chewed on her thumb nail. Dad sat down next to me.

"Honey," he said, placing a hand on my knee, "your mother got a call from Seth Clearwater — you remember Sue Clearwater from Grandpa Charlie's funeral?" I gave a slow nod of recognition. "Seth is her son. He has been having some problems with Sue. He thinks it may be the beginning stages of Alzheimer. He is really concerned for her health. He has recently accepted a job in Nebraska, and doesn't think right now is a good time to be moving Mrs. Clearwater to an unfamiliar place. He's pretty desperate for someone to sit with her at least until the beginning of the year. I know it's a lot to ask of you…"

"But I have already promised him that you will stay with her until he has time to find another solution during the Christmas holiday." Mom finished his sentence.

I speechlessly looked back and forth from Mom to Dad. "That's crazy." I finally managed to say. "There are plenty of other people at La Push who are capable of taking care of her. I have school."

"I've called and you can finish you classes for this semester online. You only have a few weeks left before break anyway. After all the Clearwaters have done to help me with Charlie — this is the least we can do."

"I know we are asking a lot from you," Dad said. "Just think — it's only a month and a half." Dad gave an unconvincing smile. "We'll see you Thanksgiving, then Christmas will be here before you know it."

I looked at Mom. "_You _owe the Clearwaters, not me. Why don't you go and stay with her?"

"I can't leave my bookstore unattended. Like your dad said, it will be over before you know it. Seth has promised to pay you a salary. You can afford better paints. There are even some people on the reservation who can teach you different techniques of painting that no one teaches anymore."

"I can't believe you are making me leave my friends. I can't believe you just…threw me under the bus like that." I was a baby again, being sent away because life was too much for her to handle right now. It was all too convenient. Mom finds out I am in love with a vampire, and now a family who I only met two months ago is requesting me to take care of their ailing mother.

"When am I leaving?" I asked. My mind raced with things I had to do: Edward had to know what was happening; I had to warn him about Reggie.

"Our flight leaves in three hours," Mom said. "I'll be going with you, but I have to leave tomorrow."

"Three hours? But I…" There were no excuses. I tore myself away from my father's embrace with a choking cry, and ran up the stairs in a blind rage.

Mom was ruthless. I furiously threw clothes in a suitcase not caring whether they were neatly folded. It took me less than ten minutes to pack. The other fifty minutes I spent writing a note to Edward:

_Dear Edward,_

_I don't know whether you will get this message or not. I hope so. Mom seems to be a step ahead of us. Since you refused to leave, she has sent me away. I'm having to go to La Push to take care of Sue Clearwater. Do you know her? Anyway, I wont have my cell phone with me (she took that too), but I will try to find a way to call. In case I don't, I should be back after Christmas — unless you miss me too much and can't wait that longJ What I REALLY need to tell you — I ran into Reggie Adams today. I think he remembers what Jasper and Emmett did to him. In other words — I think he knows your secret. PLEASE be careful! I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to you — to ANY of you. I pray Alice will have a vision of this letter and you will get it. I don't know how her visions workL Know that I love you and will be thinking of you everyday. XOXO — Jane_

I looked around the room for a safe place to leave the letter. Since Mom would be with me, there was no chance of her finding and destroying it. I neatly folded it, and placed it under the large rock Aaron had given me the last time I was at La Push. I made sure that the window was unlocked, and gave a quick prayer that Alice would see and know what to do.

"Ready?" Dad stuck his head in my room. He walked over and held me in his arms. "I don't know what your mother was thinking when she agreed to this. I agree with you — it's not fair. Just try and hang in there — okay?" He gave me a tight squeeze. "At least you will have Aaron Dooley to help pass the time."

"Uley, Dad. Aaron Uley." That was one tiny bright star in the black night.

"Ah, you remember him so well." He grinned, and flexed his eyebrows up and down. I moaned and snatched my one suitcase off the bed.

Dad gave me one more hug before I got in the front seat next to Mom. I couldn't bring myself to look back and wave as went down the road on our way to the airport in Fairbanks.

"You can't keep me away forever," I said, keeping my focus on the white snowy ground and naked trees we passed.

"I can at least keep you away another year."

"What are you going to do when Mrs. Clearwater's son moves her to Nebraska? Send me there too?" I didn't try to hide the bitterness in my voice.

"He wont be moving her anywhere." I cut my eyes over at her impassive face. "There is nothing wrong with Sue Clearwater. Her mind is as sharp as a needle. You are going to be living with Jacob Black and his family."

"Living?" I asked in a suffocated whisper.

"You wont be returning to North Pole," she said with assured determination.

"You can't do that," I responded sharply. Panic began to riot within me. "Dad wont let you."

Mom pulled over on the side of the road, and turned to me with a stern-faced expression. "You are going to _want _to live there."

"No chance." I shook my head vigorously.

"I have the knowledge to expose the Cullens for what they really are."

I stared at her disbelieving. "You wouldn't."

"To save you, I would lay down my own life." Her features softened. "I know you will hate me forever, but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make to keep you safe. I can't control who you see once you're in college, but I will make sure he understands that if I find out you are with him — I'll reveal that they are vampires."

"They'll kill you before they let that happen."

"Then you will know what kind of monsters they truly are." One corner of her mouth pulled into a slight smile. "One day, when you are sitting on a porch swing cuddled up to your husband while watching your kids run around the yard playing — you'll thank me for this. Trust me." She reached to smooth my hair, but I pulled away from her touch.

She sighed and got back on the road. I continued to stare out the window — not bothering to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop falling. Edward had to find my note.

_He'll come and get me, then we will run away together_._ We'll go someplace where no one will ever find us. A place with no worries or fears — where we can be ourselves. A place with no mothers who think what was best for them is what is best for all. A place where there is no one waiting in the wings for retribution. _I thought all these things as the plane took off from Fairbanks headed to Port Angeles.


	28. Chapter 28 Safe Haven

Chapter 28

Safe Haven

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

The ride to La Push from Port Angeles was just as quiet as the plane ride had been. The lush green forest was now bare. The roads weren't snowy white like in North Pole; these roads were more of a muddy snow and not as much of it. It was strange looking up and seeing a gray sky instead of a dark one like at home.

Home. I would never be home again; not if Mom got her way, which she usually did. Dad would argue with her, but in the end she would win him over. She had a knack for doing that.

Mom turned the compact rental car onto a gravel driveway, passed a red wood framed house, and continued back to a yellow sided home, which was surrounded by woods. A light shown in every window indicating activity inside.

A girl with long jet black hair, who looked to be about Austen's age, slung the screen door open. "They're here," she called out.

Mom got out of the car, but I remained seated inside. If I got out, it would make the nightmare a reality.

A boy, who looked like the girl, came running out, followed by a lady with short brown hair. She was wearing a yellow apron and wiping her hands on a dish towel. Mr. Black appeared and embraced Mom, who was standing a few feet away from the door. Then they turned to look at me. I unwillingly got out of the car and grabbed my suitcase.

"Jane," Mr. Black greeted me with a warm smile. I wondered what story Mom had told him. "I would like you to meet my wife, Nicole, and my kids, Bryan and Brenna."

"Why couldn't Austen come?" Brenna asked, turning her full lips into a pout.

"You'll see him at Thanksgiving," Nicole said. "Bree, why don't you show Jane to her room." She gave me a kind smile. "I hope it's not too small. We were looking at turning it into our new nursery, but we have a long way to go before the baby will be here."

Bree motioned for me to follow her. The house itself was small. She led me down a narrow hallway opposite of where the adults had vanished. Pictures of Bryan and Bree hung on the paneled walls.

"This is my room." She pointed to a violet door. "Bryan's is right across from mine. This will be your room." She opened the plain wooden door.

The room was painted white with bare walls. A single bed set against one wall, and a small opened closet was on the other side. There was only room for the one dresser. The white paint on it was chipped in places, and there were crayon markings on the top. White laced curtains covered a single window, which faced the woods to the side of the house.

Bree took the suitcase out of my hand and laid it on the bed. "Come on, I'll show you the rest of the house." She grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the tiny room.

Their living room was only big enough to for a small television, a cream colored couch covered with pastel flowers, a leather recliner, and a scratched, oval wooden coffee table.

I turned, and began to walk towards the sound of low voices coming through an archway to my left. Bree stopped me, and pulled me towards the back of the house. She pointed to a wooden door just past their small entertainment system.

"That is my parents bedroom. No one is allowed in there — as if." She rolled her eyes upward.

We continued through a door that led outside. She gently shooed away an old gray cat who happened to be in the middle of cleaning itself. A red swing set sat in the middle of the yard. Bree ran over and got on the middle of the three swings.

"So…what did you do so terrible that you got exiled here?" she asked. Her black hair whipped around her tan face as she moved back and forth — getting higher with each push. I took a seat on one of the swings next to her.

"It's complicated." I smiled remembering how Edward always described his situation to me.

"You got some kind of blood disease?" Her question stunned me. I stared at her thunderstruck. "Uncle Paul said he didn't want you here. He said all we would be doing is inviting the leeches back."

"It was a long trip — where is your bathroom?"

She eyed me curiously before responding. "The door next to Bryan's room."

I hurriedly walked back to the house while she continued to swing. I shut the door behind me, but didn't go towards the bathroom. Instead, I walked to the archway that led to the room where Mom, Nicole, and Jacob were whispering. I could smell coffee and assumed it was the kitchen — the only room Bree hadn't shown me. I paused just outside the opening and listened.

"…forever," Nicole was saying. "Have you thought about an excuse to use after Christmas?"

"Jane's going to want to stay here," Mom said.

Jacob laughed a deep laugh. "And your husband is going to agree — just like that?"

"I'm going to side with him in the beginning, but then I'll change and side with Jane. It'll be two against one."

"How are you going to get Jane to go along with that? I assume she knows why she's here," Nicole said.

"She knows what's at stake — I didn't say she liked it. I hate to burden you guys."

"It's no trouble," Nicole said. "We promise to treat her like family and keep a close eye on her."

There was a moment of silence before Mom spoke again. "Damn him. Why couldn't he have just stayed away?"

"You think he might be using her to get to you?" Jacob's asked in an angry voice.

"No. He didn't know I was her mother. Danger magnet, remember?"

"Your daughter may have picked up that trait from you," Jacob said. "Like I told you on the phone, I don't know if this is such a safe place for her right now."

"What other choice do I have?" Mom's voice sounded desperate. "You're sure the scent didn't belong—"

"Are you spying?" I screamed at the sudden sound of Bryan's voice behind me. I had been so caught up with the conversation in the next room, I hadn't thought about the other twin running around.

Jacob leaned against the archway next to where I was standing. He measured me with a cool appraising look.

"I…I didn't want to disturb you," I stammered. "I smelt coffee and…"

"Sure, sure. Come on in and sit down. I was just leaving to go get some pizzas." He and Bryan walked out the front door.

Mom and Nicole were seated in lime green chairs around a square, lime green table. The kitchen was painted in yellow, much like the outside of the house. The cabinets were painted in lime green, and lime green curtains hung at the windows. I sat next to Mom.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Nicole asked. Neither her skin nor hair was as dark as the rest of her family's. She was a very attractive lady with full hazel eyes and sweeping lashes.

"She doesn't like coffee," Mom said with a smile on her lips.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Did Bree give you a tour of our humble abode?" Nicole's smile was warm.

"Yes. It appears I'm going to be staying with you a while." I tried not to direct my animosity towards her since this was all my mother's idea. "What are you going to do about your nursery?"

"The red house you passed when you came in is the house Jacob grew up in. He built this house once we were married, and his father continued to live at the other one. After he died, Jacob couldn't bear to tear it down, so he gutted the inside and we use it for parties or weekend gatherings. He's going to talk with some of the guys about helping him restore it back to a livable home. It would be as if you had your own apartment."

"Nicole, you and Jacob don't have to go through so much trouble." Mom blushed.

"What trouble? We had already talked about doing that when the twins turned fifteen."

The wheels were already spinning in my head: My own apartment. No supervision. I could hide Edward and no one would ever know. _Moving here might not be such a bad idea after all_, I thought.

"Jacob told me the last time I was here that you didn't know about the Quileute secret," Mom said.

Nicole had gotten up to pour me a glass of juice. She smiled and shook her head. "Like I don't listen to the stories at the tribal meetings." She placed the pitcher back in the refrigerator, and put the glass in front of me as she sat down. She and Mom continued to talk as if I wasn't there.

"I'm not Quileute. I'm not even Native American." Nicole laughed lightly. "I met Jacob when he was traveling through in Vegas. Me and some of my friends had gone out that night. After I lost half of what I had at the tables, I wasn't feeling lucky anymore. I headed over to one of the buffet tables to grab some food and wait on my friends. That was when we ran into each other — literally. Of course it was like walking into a brick wall. I fell on my butt — dumped my plate of food on me. He towered over me and apologized profusely. When he took my hand to help me up, it was like…a hot electric current went through my body." She smiled and ran a finger around the rim of her coffee cup.

"I never believed in love at first sight. I was raised in an abusive home. My mother died during childbirth, and my father liked to hold me accountable. First chance I got, I ran away. I did okay for myself. I got lucky and found a good job that didn't involve pushing drugs or prostitution. But I had made a promise to myself that I would never get involved with a man. Jacob changed all that.

"I tried for the first three months we dated to push him away. I would find any reason to argue with him. He had the patience of Job with me. When he told me he had to return home and wanted me to go with him, I knew I had to say yes. Just the thought of a day going by without seeing him tore me apart. We went to a Vegas chapel, got married, and I moved with him here.

"It was hard when he arrived back home with me. His close friends were very…guarded. Billy was difficult at first; it took him two years to warm up to me. Sue Clearwater and Emily Uley were my only two friends for the longest. They insisted Jacob and I have a traditional wedding on the reservation. I don't think we sent you an invitation."

"Charlie told me about it," Mom said. "He said Jacob invited me to come, but I couldn't. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Nicole reached out and squeezed Mom's hand. "It was a small wedding. It wasn't until after that wedding when I was invited to one of the tribal meetings. His sister, Rachel, and Kim, Jared Sewell's wife, were the only two who objected because I wasn't Quileute blood. But Emily, being Sam's wife, overruled them. Order of command, you know." Nicole winked at Mom who grinned in return. "To say I believe all the stories would be a lie."

"You should," Mom said. "Has he told you about any of his personal stories?"

"We don't talk about it. He thinks he is protecting me by not saying anything. He doesn't even like me going to the meetings."

"Yeah, he was never comfortable with that part of his heritage," Mom said. "He just always wanted to remain normal."

"I think that was why he never wanted me to go. He's scared one day I will look at him like he's a freak of nature or something." She laughed. "Like that would ever happen. I did quit going for about seven years — after the twins were born. Now I attend with them. They're all into it."

"Are you concerned for them?" Mom asked.

"I haven't really had to worry about it until recently." Her face suddenly went tense. "Jacob says there is nothing to worry about, but I feel his tension every now and then. It's increased a lot lately. He's been going out after the kids fall asleep, and doesn't come home until time for them to get up. I've talked to Emily about it. She says I have nothing to worry about; they are just taking extra precautions." Nicole grabbed her cup to keep her hands from shaking. "Sometimes, it feels like I'm being watched. Jacob told me I was being paranoid — that it's impossible."

We all three jumped as the front door flew open. Jacob walked in with five boxes of pizza. We laughed giddily at our reaction.

I remained quiet during supper as Mom chitchatted with Jacob and Nicole about people she used to know. My mind was focused on getting in touch with Edward, and how he was going to get in touch with me.

"I'm supposed to be finishing this semester online," I blurted out. I glanced up and looked at Nicole. "I didn't see a computer."

"You can use my laptop. I'll be sure to give my email address to Bella before she leaves." I was quick to notice the eye contact between the two. My activity on the computer would be monitored.

Jacob left to walk Bree to Rachel and Paul's house. There was a trail through the woods that led from the Black's house to the Hudson's. Jacob didn't want his daughter taking the familiar route alone — especially at night. I found it odd that no one asked why.

Mom went to sleep in Bree's room, and I settled down in my new room. I decided to keep my clothes in the suitcase that way I would be ready to leave when the time came. I made sure my window was unlocked before I laid down.

Everyone was up before me the next morning. There was only one bathroom, which I would have to share with Bryan and Brenna. I took the chance while it was available, and got a quick shower before joining the others in the kitchen. Mom and Jacob laughed and joked about old times. When I finished eating, I excused myself and went outside.

The air was cold and damp. The sky couldn't seem to make up its mind on whether to snow or rain, so it decided to do both. I walked to the red house that was to be my apartment. The backdoor wasn't locked, so I went in to take a look around.

Inside smelt of apple and cinnamon. There was a large picnic table in the main room. A painted portrait of a man hung on the wall. He wore a cowboy hat, but looked like an older Jacob. I continued down the narrow hallway, passing a small bathroom to my left. In the back was the kitchen. It looked like there could have been three bedrooms, but the walls had been knocked down to make one huge room. Nicole had used the word "gutted", but redesigned was more like it.

Luckily, I didn't need much materiality for my imagination to picture my future apartment. I walked around slowly, and imagined where I would place everything: My bed, dressers, easel and paints, entertainment system, bookshelves, desk. Then I started playing make-believe. I was giggling and twirling around in the kitchen — talking out loud to my imaginary Edward. Even though my voice was the only audible sound, in my mind there was music and his smooth voice in my ear. It all stopped when I heard a sound that didn't belong in my fantasy.

"Your mom is fixing to leave," Bryan said with a grin too big for his face. "If you're not too busy," he paused to keep from laughing, "you might want to tell her bye."

I felt my face grow hot despite the cold. "I…I'll be right there." He left, and I glanced around the room once more. My beautiful bedroom was gone — as was Edward. I sighed and left my preferred pretend world behind.

"I don't think I will ever be able to repay you," Mom said as she hugged Nicole bye.

Jacob shut the trunk to her rental car. "You know we will do whatever we can to help," he said.

Mom looked over at me. I stood with my arms crossed and made no advancement towards her.

"I'll see you in two weeks." She brushed a tear from her pale face. "Try to, uh, help out where you can, okay?"

"Yeah."

We stared at each other for a few more moments until she sighed heavily and left. I watched the car vanish down the road. I couldn't tell if I was freezing because of the weather, or because of the sheer feeling of abandonment.

"You should be kinder to your mother." I glanced over at Jacob. He was standing next to me — still looking down the road where Mom had disappeared. "She's been through a lot."

"Right. Poor, poor Mom," I replied sarcastically. "Let's be sure to cater to her, shall we?"

Jacob's dark eyes cut right through me. "She's been through more than you could ever imagine. She doesn't want you to have a life like hers. She is trying to keep you from making the same mistakes she did and you don't even appreciate it."

"She's _making _me make the same mistakes," I responded heatedly. "I don't want a life like hers. I don't want a normal, ho-hum life."

"You would rather be hunted by bloodsuckers?" His fist clenched and his jaw tightened. On an impulse, I took a cautious step away from him. He seemed to have noticed, and calmed down before speaking again. "Have you ever wondered where your mother got the scar on her wrist?" I swallowed and shook my head. "That was a gift from a leech who had a bone to pick with that vampire you love so much."

Edward had mentioned about Mom's close encounters with vampires that almost led to her death. I had seen her scar many times. Once, we were on the beach in Florida, and I traced part of it with my finger. I was mesmerized by the contrast to the feel of the scar and the rest of her skin. The scar was unusually cold even in the hot, Florida sun. Mom noticed, and quickly pulled her arm away. I never questioned, or felt it again.

"He left her alone to defend herself against the other two who were left in that coven."

"No," I argued, "he left to protect her."

He chuckled bitterly. "You believe what you want, but he left because he was through playing with her. If me and some of the others hadn't been around, the other two would have killed her: one for sport, the other for retribution.

"If you think it's going to be different with you — you're living in a fantasy world." I returned his steady gaze. "You need one good dose of fear to understand your mother's point of view. I hope you never have to — but you need to understand the danger you would constantly face being with them."

He stomped off to a shed, leaving me standing alone in the driveway. I was tempted to follow him and tell him how they had already saved my life three times, but thought better of it. From Jacob's tone, I could tell he wasn't a big fan of the Cullens. Nothing I said would change his opinion of them.

I wandered back into the house. Nicole was cooking, and I joined her in the kitchen. I got a glass of water and leaned against the counter.

"I looked inside the other house," I said, trying to engage in conversation, but mostly being nosey. "You think they can turn it into an apartment by the end of the year?"

She kept her back to me — stirring a big pot of chicken and rice. "They will probably start working on it after Thanksgiving. I don't see why it couldn't be ready by the first of January."

My heart jumped at the sound of the phone. I was already half-way to answering it, when Nicole grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back. She kept her eye one me as she picked up the receiver.

"Hello. May I ask who is calling? Can she call you right back — she is occupied at this moment? Thank you."

"Who was it?" I asked, once she hung up the phone. She remained standing next to it as if waiting for it to ring again.

"He said he was your father."

"How do you know it wasn't?" I asked with a twinge of annoyance.

"I don't, but they can disguise their voice very well, so I've been told." She smiled, then handed me the receiver and dialed my number. It was that moment I understood that my phone privileges were going to be monitored. The only difference between my life and the life of a prisoner was the lack of barbwire.

Dad and I spoke briefly. He was making sure I was doing okay and if there was anything I needed. Mom hadn't arrived home, but he was expecting her later that night. There was no one I could ask to see if Edward had gotten my note. I did find out that no one had called looking for me, which didn't help my spirits any. Once I hung up, I went to my room to be alone. My thoughts were more pleasing than my life at that point and time.

Bree was home for supper. I felt like an intruder. Since I took someone's spot at the table, Jacob ate standing up. They continued with everyday life conversation. I ate my chicken and rice, then confined myself to my room.

I was beginning to resent packing so fast. In my anger, I had forgot to grab a book. The only thing for me to do was to lay on the bed, stare at the ceiling, and think of ways out of my current situation.

I was aroused from my thoughts by the constant tapping on my window.

"Edward," I breathed as I jumped up from the bed, and pulled back the curtains. It wasn't the pale face I was longing to see, but a tan one I had expected to see when I first arrived at La Push. I pushed open the window and greeted a smiling Aaron. "I thought you would have welcomed me yesterday."

"I would have, but Mom said I shouldn't intrude."

"Do you always sneak around at night and tap on girls windows for attention?"

"Nope. Only yours." He stuck his head in and looked around. "You gonna invite me in, or am I going to stand out here and freeze to death?" I stepped back while he climbed through the window.

"You're going to have to be quite," I warned in a low whisper. "I'm being heavily guarded."

"If you wasn't such an outlaw, you wouldn't have to worry about it," he laughed.

It felt good to have a friend. Aaron and I sat Indian style on the floor across from each other. I rolled up a quilt, and placed it against the crack at the bottom of the door to help muffle our voices. I told Aaron about Mom trying to force Edward to leave, my plead for him to stay, and finally his promise not to leave, which resulted in me being exiled to La Push.

"But I have a plan." I couldn't keep the grin from forming on my face.

"Oh boy." Aaron rolled his eyes. "I will not help you escape."

"All you have to do is promise not to tell a soul. Please, you have to promise?" I begged.

"Trust me, I know how to keep a secret." He flashed his white teeth.

"That old red house where they have gatherings, Mr. Black is going to reconstruct it into an apartment — my apartment. There has to be some way to sneak a letter out, and mail it to Edward to let him know that I'll pretty much be on my own around the first of the year. He can stay with me and no one would ever know." Just to hear the plan spoken out loud caused me to glow.

Aaron looked at me dumbfounded. "He can't do that, Jane."

My grin dropped to a frown. I blushed and crossed my arms over my chest self-consciously. "I'm not talking about playing house in that sense. I'm just saying — we can see each other without anyone knowing. Everything doesn't always have to center around sex."

Aaron got off the floor. "I wasn't talking about sex." I stood, and motioned for him to lower his voice. "I meant that he can't come here."

"I thought you wouldn't be like them. I thought you would understand and be supportive."

"Jane, didn't your mother tell you why she was making you stay here?" Aaron sighed, and ran his hand through his thick, black hair. He looked at me with kind eyes, and put his hands on my shoulders. "Didn't you wonder why she didn't just send you to your grandmother's in Florida?"

"Florida is too far from Alaska. She didn't want to send me that far away from home."

"He could have followed you to Florida," Aaron said straightforwardly. "The sun would be an obstacle, but there would be nothing to stop him at night. Your mother sent you to us because she knew you would be safe from him here. La Push is the only place he is restricted from." I searched his eyes, not understanding what he was saying. "You remember I told you about the treaty that Chief Black made with the leader of the Cullen Coven? There are two rules they have to follow to keep us from exposing them. They can't kill or bite another human, and the second rule is they aren't allowed to step foot on Quileute land. Jane, if he comes here — he will be killed."

It was like having the breath knocked out of me. I felt the panic rise within me, and struggled to remain standing. My hopes and plans quickly came tumbling down. Edward knew of this treaty. If he got my letter, he knew our story was finished — a bitter end.

"Jane, I'm sorry. I…I thought she would have explained—"

"She's never explained anything." I closed my eyes, and bit my lip to keep it from trembling. "Just…go. I want to be alone right now."

"I—"

"Please, just leave," I said more forcibly. Aaron paused, then escaped into the night.

I closed the window and locked it; there was no reason not to now. I laid down on the bed, and allowed the grief of my sudden loss to rip through my body. Edward wasn't coming to save me — not this time. The risk was too great. Besides, my life wouldn't be worth saving if he was to lose his. Slowly and unknowingly, I had been buried alive.


	29. Chapter 29 Debatable

**Chapter 29**

**Debatable**

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**APOV**

"So…what's the verdict?" Jasper smiled and looked at me with hopeful eyes.

From what we had heard, everything sounded positive: Jane had been able to convince Edward into staying. But now, he was taking her home where he would have to confront Bella with his decision. There was always the possibility he could change his mind. The guilt of leaving her years ago still weighed heavily on him. He felt he owed her for the pain and danger he had left her in; however, I didn't think Jane should have to play the part of the sacrificial lamb.

"I would rather not say. I still don't trust myself." Though most of my visions since Halloween had been accurate, there were still some that were questionable — not very clear.

"Come on, you were right about Bella being alive," Jasper said encouragingly.

"Yeah," Emmett chimed in. "And you helped prevent Edward from leaving."

"This time," Rosalie said without lifting her eyes from a travel brochure.

"We have to remain positive," Esme said.

"I still can't believe we didn't figure out that Jane is Bella's daughter." Carlisle shook his head. "Everything was right in front of us, and no one put two and two together."

"We can't be too hard on ourselves." Esme smiled over at her husband. "What are the odds of us accidentally running into Bella and her family?"

"Apparently not great enough," Rosalie mumbled. "If she's Bella's daughter, she's bad news. I for one think we should leave — move to a different continent. Moscow is perfect this time of year."

Rosalie had started to warm up Jane, but since she found out Bella was her mother, her feeling of warmth got cold quick. She never liked Bella. It had nothing to do with Bella personally; it was her consumed desire to be a vampire. Rosalie wasn't a supporter of vampire/human relationships. The only reason she was semi friendly to Jane, was because she felt some strange connection with her since Reggie's attack.

"We should be supportive of Edward in whatever decision he makes," Esme said.

"Like last time? Look how well that turned out." Rosalie rolled her golden eyes.

"What I'm curious about," Carlisle said, "is why Victoria told Irina that Bella was dead. What did she have to gain in doing that?"

"Maybe she wanted Edward to feel the same grief she felt when we killed James," Esme said.

"Then why not say that she had been the one to kill her? That would've drove a stake through his heart." Carlisle shook his head. "No, there is something we're missing."

"Could it be possible Irina lied?" Jasper asked. "What if she never even saw Victoria? When Emmett and I were in Barcelona, we couldn't find one vampire who had heard the name Victoria, or who had seen anyone who looked like her."

"What reason would she have had to lie?" Esme wondered out loud.

"She seemed confident that werewolves were the ones who killed Laurent," Emmett said. "She had to have gotten her information from somewhere. Her story made sense — except now we know Bella wasn't killed by a werewolf."

"Maybe she just threw that into her story to make us angry enough to fight with them." Jasper pressed his lips tightly together in thought. "She knew we wouldn't care about the werewolves killing Laurent, but we would be outraged to learn that they had killed Bella. She thought we would go to war with them."

"What we need to know is who's pulling the strings," Rosalie said. "Is Victoria the puppeteer, or is Irina? Victoria probably still wants revenge, and if werewolves did kill Laurent, then Irina wants revenge also. So who is using whom? Is Irina using us to get revenge for Laurent, or is Victoria using Irina to lead us into a trap to get revenge for James?"

"You think Victoria told Irina that Bella was killed by werewolves to make us angry enough to break our treaty and fight a hard battle in hopes that at least some, if not all of us would die?" Carlisle asked.

"Let everybody fight each other. Then when it's over with, she could swoop down to gloat and finish the job," Rosalie said. "Except we didn't buy it."

"That's a cowardly way to go about getting revenge," Jasper sneered.

"Victoria is far from being a coward — she's ruthless," I said. "What if Victoria thought she saw Bella get killed by werewolves? What if they staged the incident to make her think she was dead?" I thought of my vision of Bella drowning. It wouldn't have been the first time a vampire had been fooled into thinking Bella was deceased. She seemed to have more lives than a cat.

"Very clever," Carlisle said showing a smile of appreciation. "That seems to make the most sense thus far. If the person you are hunting is dead, there is no reason to pursue the hunt. That could be why we haven't seen Victoria in all these years. She must have assumed that we knew of Bella's demise because Alice would have had a vision, or Edward had never truly abandoned her."

"Should we tell them Bella is alive?" Esme asked

"No. What little everyone else knows, the better off we are."

We moved onto other topics — pretending to be a normal family. Emmett and Rosalie were looking into a European vacation for Christmas, while Esme and Carlisle wanted to visit some old friends in the Amazon. Jasper and I had talked about going to Texas to attempt a genealogy on the Whitlocks. Since doing one on my own years ago in Mississippi, I had been consumed with family trees. No one in my current family was enthused to learn of their human family, but I seemed to have finally talked Jasper into seeing what his family had been up to since his departure.

We didn't have to wait long before Edward walked through the door. There was no expression on his face as we watched him cross the living room floor, sit down next to Rosalie, pick up one of her brochures and begin looking it over.

"Well?" Emmett asked a little too loudly.

"Bella will probably be getting a restraining order on our family," Edward said in his calm, cool, and collected manner. He tossed the brochure back on the coffee table and smiled. "I told her I wasn't going to make the same mistake I did twenty years ago. I'm tired of running. I'm much stronger now than what I was when I was with her. I also know what to expect. Right now, Jane has no interest in becoming a vampire. _And_," he cut his eyes over at Rosalie, "when she does…we'll handle it when the time comes."

"This is crazy," Rosalie said getting to her feet. "I like Jane, but you are asking for trouble. Bella doesn't want us anywhere near her. You don't want to piss off someone who knows everything about us."

"Yeah," Emmett said. "'Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned; Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.'"

"Since when did you start quoting English playwrights?" Edward asked with a lopsided grin on his face.

"Was I?" Emmett shrugged his large shoulders. "After a hundred years of marriage, certain sayings stick with you."

Rosalie made a sound between a growl and a sigh. "Everything is a big joke to you two. How funny will it be if Bella goes public with what she knows? Even if no one believes her, the Volturi will."

"Rose has a point," Carlisle said. "Edward, maybe we should lay low for a while. Maybe wait a month or two to see if her heart will thaw and forgive us."

"You're forgetting about Jane." Edward leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. His face became serious. "I can't just walk away from her. It's not just about Bella or me anymore. There is something about Jane that I didn't have with Bella. It's hard for me to explain." He closed his eyes, looking for the words somewhere inside himself.

"Bella walked into my life when I was cocky and bitter. I didn't know I could love another person — especially a human. She showed me that loving a mortal was possible, though there were some risks involved. She was right for me twenty years ago. Maybe we could have made it work had I not panicked, but I did.

"Bella pulled my head down from the clouds, whereas Jane pulled my heart from the ashes. I never thought I would love again — but I have. I never thought I would laugh again — but I have. I never thought I would be happy again — but I am. Jane has torn down my walls and slapped me awake."

He got off the couch, and walked over the bay windows overlooking the snowy ground. I could sense his smile though his face was turned away from us.

"'I dreamed a thousand new paths. . . I woke and walked my old one.' I had no intention or desire of ever falling in love again — yet here I stand." He turned and faced the family with a determined fire in his eyes. "I _will not _do to Jane what I did to Bella. I would rather cease to exist than to consciously leave her broken hearted…or worse."

"Edward, I admire your chivalry, but there is the rest of the family to think about," Carlisle said. Before he could say anything else, his pager from the hospital sounded and he had to rush off.

"Bella's just angry," I said. "She wouldn't do anything to actually hurt us. Maybe if I went and talked to her…"

"That's just what she needs, Alice. Another visit from a Cullen." Edward headed off to his room, but stopped at the top of the stairs. "Don't try and do me any favors. Just leave it alone. I'll handle it," he ordered. I tried to do as he asked, but sometimes I have no control over my visions.

Esme and I had gone to Anchorage, shopping. The vision appeared so vividly — I toppled over a clothes rack in the middle of Abercrombie & Fitch. Esme handled the sales clerk while I quickly called Edward.

"Something is happening," I shouted.

"Where are you?"

"Not with me — Jane." I hadn't meant to sound harsh.

"What?" His voice grew tense.

"I had a vision. In her bedroom — there is a note she wants you to get. It's on her dresser, under a rock."

Edward was silent for a moment. "Do you know what it says?"

"If I knew, I would have just told you what it said instead of telling you where it was at," I snapped. "I'm sorry. It's just that vision was so…strong. You should probably wait and get the letter later tonight. I have a feeling she wont be there."

Surprisingly, Edward did as I suggested and waited until midnight to retrieve the letter Jane had left. Rosalie swore she didn't care and stayed in her room, while the rest of us waited for Edward downstairs in the living room. None of us liked the way he looked when he walked through the door.

"I knew it was bad," I said.

"Bella has sent her to live with the Clearwaters in La Push." He dropped the letter in my lap as he passed.

"La Push?" Emmett asked.

"Smart Bella," Carlisle said. "The one place she knows we can't go."

"Apparently, Jane doesn't know that," Jasper said reading the letter over my shoulder. "What's this about Reggie? She still doesn't know you're the one who did all the damage?" Edward commented with a groan.

Then Carlisle wanted to hear again, detail by detail, of what had happened Halloween night with the incident involving Reggie. As words floated around the room, my eyes could not turn away from the letter. I felt angry and hurt to think that Bella would put her daughter's life in the care of a bunch of mangy mutts instead of sophisticated, not to mention very stylish, vampires.

_I'm sure she's just trying to make a point to Edward about how she felt when he left, _I thought. _I could probably talk to her — make her see the light, and have Jane home in a few days. _I glanced up to see Edward glaring at me. _Or…I could let Edward fight his own battles and keep my mouth shut. _That thought got a tight grin from him.

"We'll have to keep a close eye on him," Carlisle said. "Chances are, Jane was just being paranoid and we have nothing to worry about. Edward, one day you and Jasper can go over to Reggie's house unannounced, and see if you pick up anything in his thoughts pertaining to that night."

Carlisle and Esme retired to their quarters, Emmett went to check on Rosalie, and Jasper and I followed Edward to his room.

"What are you going to do about Jane?" I asked.

"What can I do about Jane?" There was a sign of frustration in his tone. "The werewolves protected Bella — I'm sure they will keep a close watch on Jane. We need to resolve this Reggie disaster before it has a chance to explode." He ran his hands through his hair and dropped down on his couch.

"I'm not believing what my ears are hearing." My eyes were wide with astonishment. "_You _are just going to leave Jane's life in the paws of those dogs? She can't be with them. I don't think it's safe right now."

Edward looked at me disdainfully. "What is that supposed to…" He quickly diverted his eyes to Jasper. "Tanya wont be instantaneous in their revenge against the Quileute. She's smart and cautious. I don't think an attack will ever happen. They'll need more vampires than what's in their clan to defeat the werewolves. Irina may have been able to convince Kate to side with her, but Eleazar and Carmen wont be so easy. The fact they didn't accompany them on their visit already suggests that they aren't in full agreement with fighting the werewolves. Eleazar hates war as much as Carlisle."

"There is no chance that Victoria will fight with them," I said. "I don't see her wanting to risk her limbs for Laurent's honor, and she isn't a fan of anyone who is a friend of ours."

Edward began to steadily pace. "There was no sign of Victoria in Barcelona…so where is she?" Victoria's whereabouts had been a thorn in his side for years. "Why would Irina lie about speaking to her there?"

"To make us want to join her forces," Jasper said matter-of-factly.

Edward stopped. "Something's not right. I have to find Victoria. I should have never stopped looking."

"What about Jane?" I demanded.

"She's safe where she is." Edward started throwing various items in a slender, black satchel. "Now is the perfect time for me to look for Victoria. It will give me something to do besides think of what a mess my life is. As long as Victoria is out there, she will be a constant threat to Bella. I owe her to take care of the problem I started."

"Emmett or myself should go with you," Jasper said.

"It's easier to track alone. When I find her, I'll give you guys a call." Edward smiled. Within the next few seconds, he was gone.

Carlisle wasn't pleased that Edward had made such a drastic decision without notifying him. Victoria was a dangerous vampire; a vampire who hated Edward and wanted him to suffer. Jasper was able to calm Carlisle down without having to use his power. "Edward has something to live for now," he said. "He will be careful. With his ability, it will be nearly impossible for her to sneak up on him."

School on Monday seemed awkward. Jane's empty desk next to mine recharged my anger about her being sent away. Since Edward wasn't around, there was no need to hide my thoughts. By the time school let out, I had already made up my mind on what needed to be done. Once home, I got in my yellow Lamborghini, and headed towards Fairbanks to the bookstore on Second Avenue.

"Looks like Bella," I muttered to myself before getting out of the car.

There were only a few customers inside. A young man with black, curly hair was behind the register. His smile widened when he made eye contact with me.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" he asked. He pushed the black rimed glasses up his nose, anxiously waiting for my reply. I opened my mouth, but the fragrance of freesias answered my question. His heartbeat slowed down when I turned away from him and headed towards the back of the store. I stopped behind a brunette who was working on clearing a shelf for new books.

"I'm working on a report and looking for information." Her back stiffened. Her hand, which was frozen around a couple of books, shook. Short gasps escaped from her mouth, and her pale neck pulsed as blood rushed through her arteries. "I want to prove that authoritarian parenting style is _not _the way to raise a child."

"Maybe you should stick to a topic you're more familiar with. Perhaps fortune telling and psychic readings gone astray." She slowly turned and faced me. "Or the existence of the supernatural."

I smiled at her attempt at being ruthless. She had aged well: no crows feet, flawless skin, small figure, only six silver hairs, which were well covered. Regrettably, Bella still hadn't learned to be fashionably correct. I wanted to hug her, but her body movements told me she wasn't ready for such closeness.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed up," she said. She abandoned the cart of books and went towards the front of the store.

"Ken," she addressed the guy behind the counter, "I'm going for a walk." She glanced over at me. "I wont be gone very long." She grabbed her heavy coat from behind the counter before walking out.

We walked side by side in silence until we reached a bench facing the Chena River. Fairbanks was the perfect place for vampires during late fall and winter. We only had to be assiduous of the sun three to five hours a day. Due to the snow and cold, there weren't very many people outside. Whatever was going to be said between Bella and me would be in secret.

"Nothing you say is going to make me change my mind about Jane and Edward," she said.

"You wouldn't have felt this way twenty years ago. You would have moved heaven and earth — crawled through hell to be with him."

"Twenty years ago I was a foolish seventeen year old who didn't have anyone to tell me different."

"Edward warned you in the very beginning — just like he has warned Jane. All you had to do was tell him to back away, and he would have left you alone."

"Then why isn't he doing it now?" Her voice was cold and distant.

"Because _she _hasn't asked him to." I held my finger up to prevent her from interrupting. "He loves her, Bella. I know that may be hard for you to hear."

She no longer could sit next to me. She stood in front of me with her hands tucked deep inside her coat.

"What's hard for me is knowing what hell she is in store for. Tell me Alice, what will make this time different than the last?" Her brown eyes looked at me for an answer she knew I couldn't provide. "Are there no longer any vampires out there who hunt humans? Has your family completely lost the desire for human blood? Will Edward still refuse to change my only daughter when she realizes how vulnerable she is? What's going to keep him from leaving when he comes to the conclusion that he was right twenty years ago and Jane doesn't belong in his world any more than I did?"

"He'll think twice before making the same mistake he did with you."

"But you can't guarantee me that he wont."

"Bella, Jane should be able to have the choice on whether she wants to take that chance or not. It's her life."

"She's my responsibility," she said firmly. "She has the right to play Russian roulette, but that doesn't mean I'm going to provide the ammo for her to do it. I'm not going to take her gun shopping."

My temper flared. "Oh, sending her to live with a pack of dogs is more secure in your eyes? Tell me, Bella, what do you think will happen to Jane when one of those flea bags can't control their temper and lets loose?"

Bella bit down on her bottom lip. "I see you've had a vision on where I sent her." I remained quiet. I didn't want to tell her about the letter and possibly make her more upset. "Jacob's going to keep a close eye on her. He wont allow anything to happen. God knows he protected me when you bailed."

"Yes. He protected you _real _good. Didn't take you long to switch sides, did it?" I asked, not bothering to try and hide my hostility.

Bella's mouth dropped open. Her brows drew together in an angry frown.

"How dare you. Seven months. Seven months, I waited for one of you to come back or at least call me — email me — something, but you never did. Seven months I went through pure hell — put Charlie through hell. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I eluded friends. Jacob was a lifesaver. Not that I have to explain anything to you."

"Edward saw you in his arms."

"When?"

I let out a short, irritated sigh. "March. I had a vision of you drowning, and called Edward to tell him that I thought you were in trouble. He hurried back to Forks, thinking it was…you know who, and found you very much alive in the arms of Jacob Black." I crossed my arms and glared at her smugly. Edward's eyes were better than perfect. There was no way she could deny what he had seen.

She slumped back down on the bench next to me. "You saw me drown?"

My cocky smile faded. It was obvious she hadn't. "I'll admit, I've had some trouble with my visions. I had tried, against Edward's advise, to check on you before, but nothing ever happened. Then I saw you jump off a cliff into the ocean, and you never came up. I was probably stressed and feeling guilty about leaving you. I must have let my mind think the worst."

"No. I…I was cliff diving. The current was too rough and kept pushing me under. I did drown, but Jacob pulled me out of the water and was able to revive me." I was shocked at hearing her story. I was reminded of only a few weeks ago when Jane had almost died, but it had been Edward who saved her. _Parallel life lines, _I thought amusingly. "Why didn't he let me know he was there?"

"He was gong to, but then he saw you with Jacob. He saw that you had done as he asked and continued on with your life. He didn't want to take that away again."

"He must have showed up the day of Harry Clearwater's funeral. Jacob and I were comforting each other — that's all. He shouldn't have assumed..." Her expression switched from anger to sadness.

"He's paid for it — and so have the rest of us. He's been absolutely atrocious to live with. He even tried to go to the Volturi, claiming his life wasn't worth living and wanted them to end it." I shuttered to think of having to go through that again if things didn't work out with Jane. I was afraid there would be no stopping him this time around. "He hasn't been in a relationship since he left, whereas you've moved on, you have a family — things seem to have turned out okay for you. He deserves happiness the same as you."

"And I hope he finds that happiness — I really do, as long as it's not with Jane."

"It's not that easy."

"What's so damn hard about it?" she replied sharply.

"Bella, he tried not to fall in love, but there is like this magnetic attraction between the two of them. You can practically feel the electricity. They pick up on each others feelings so easily. You have to see that they are perfect together." I was practically begging. The wheels in Bella's brain were spinning. She hadn't been the only one who had suffered years ago. Knowing that had to make her heart soften.

"I can't." There was a hint of regret in her tone, though her eyes were hard and determined. "I have to think of what is best for my daughter."

"Being with him is what's best for her," I argued. "She's happy with him. She's safe with him"

"My scar and memory tell me different. Alice, like I told you at the beginning of this meaningless conversation — I'm not going to change my mind." She wasn't the Bella I used to know.

We returned to her store. Everything that needed to be said had been.

"Our friendship can never be as it once was, you know that?" she said pausing outside the door.

I smiled. "Edward did mention that no Cullen was allowed on your property."

She chuckled. "I still have a husband and son at home whom I have to protect. I don't want to take any chances that something or someone wont follow any of you."

"I understand."

"Alice," Bella called out before I got in my car to leave. "It was good seeing you. I've missed you more than you could ever know."

"Likewise."

I didn't achieve what I had hoped. Bella was unbending on Jane and Edward's relationship. There was nothing else I could do but hope and pray; but hope and pray for what? Bella made it clear that she was certain Jane would be safe in La Push, so it would have been futile to hope she would miraculously change her mind. It would also have been wrong to hope or pray for something bad to happen to prove to her that she had made a terrible mistake. The thing about life is that sometimes you don't have to lift a finger. Sometimes, all a person has to do is wait and something will happen — whether good or bad.


	30. Chapter 30 Unwelcome Guest

Chapter 30

Unwelcome Guest

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Sleep was torture — the nightmares relentless. I had lost the desire for everything I loved — with the exception of Edward. Aaron brought me several books from the library along with a sketch pad; however, the books were useless because I couldn't concentrate on the words. I drew the only picture I couldn't stop thinking of — Edward. Once it was finished, I viciously ripped it apart and squalled into my pillow. I was falling apart from the inside out.

Nicole kept her eye on me while she worked at a local insurance agency. Unbelievably, I was able to finish the remainder of the school semester within a week. The rest of the time I spent staring out the streak less windows at happy people passing by, bundled down in their coats. Life sucked.

The day before Thanksgiving, I was laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling like normal, when I heard Bree yell, "Jane, your parents are here." I hurried to the front door. Tears stung my eyes as I watched Dad get out of a burgundy Camry. I ran down the front steps and into his arms.

"I expected to see you at Sue's, but she said you were staying over here while we were in town." He gave me a tight squeeze. "Are they feeding you around here? You're like skin and bones."

I self-consciously took a step back and wrapped my arms around my torso. I had lost weight since my imprisonment. "I just eat a lot healthier now. Not eating pizza every Friday night makes a difference," I tried to joke.

Mom walked around the car and silently stood behind Dad. Her appearance was frail and thin also. _Good, _I thought. Austen had already disappeared behind the house with Bree and Bryan without saying a word to me.

"I'm going to talk to Seth Clearwater tomorrow and see about taking you home with us," Dad spoke sternly. His eyes were hard and serious.

"Don't worry about it," I said, fully aware of Mom's presence. "I've already finished this semester of school, so there's no reason for me to rush home. Besides, I kind of like it here. The people are really nice and I've already made a ton of friends."

"You want to stay for the rest of the year?" Dad asked.

I struggled to maintain an even, reassuring tone before continuing with the lie. "Yes. Maybe longer than that. It's nice to have normal daylight hours for a change, and the cold isn't so bitter."

"I thought that's what you liked most about North Pole?" Dad eyed me suspiciously.

I shrugged my shoulders. "People change." The door opened and closed behind me. Heavy footsteps pounded on the salted walkway.

"You must be Steven." Jacob's voice was loud and friendly. "I'm Jacob Black, an old friend of your wife's." The two men shook hands. Jacob led Dad to his shed where he'd been working on restoring an old car.

"Do you think I was convincing enough?" I glared at Mom.

"You look terrible."

I shook my head and laughed resentfully. "You think? Did you expect to come here and find me frolicking through the woods — okay with my death sentence?"

Mom scoffed at my remark. "Jane, you're overreacting."

I stared at her as if she were a stranger. "I thought you of all people would understand. I'll never be happy. You think you're protecting me, but you're killing me instead — a much slower, brutal death than what I would ever experience with him."

"You'll live again. This I know for a fact." Her eyes were hard, yet understanding.

"I'm not like you. I'll never be satisfied with anyone else. I don't _want _to be with anyone else." I turned my back against the wind and went back to my cell. I resurfaced later just to keep up the pretence that I was happy in front of Dad.

On Thanksgiving Day, Mom, Nicole, and Sue hustled in the kitchen at the old house, while the men went hunting. Dad wasn't too keen on the idea. He would rather had stayed and watched the parade in a warm house instead of out in the cold hunting for animals. However, he was still a man, and didn't want to be the only one in a house full of women. I chose to stay outside on the swing set out of everyone's way.

I was staring at the woods, wondering what Thanksgiving was like at the Cullen's house, when Aaron's voice penetrated the silence. "Hello, beautiful. Is this swing taken?"

"You didn't go hunting with the men?" I smiled and gently pushed the empty swing his way.

"Someone had to stay behind and protect the ladies."

A chill went through me. "Protect us from what?" I asked in an alarming voice.

"Relax, Jane. I was joking. I don't care for hunting. I don't see the sport in killing a defenseless animal. Besides, I would much rather hang out with you than tromp through the woods with a bunch of men."

I was glad Aaron had decided to stay behind; it gave me an excuse to stay away from Mom. She must have thought that by separating me from Edward, I would eventually forget how I felt about him. She was wrong. There was no amount of time or distance that would ever make me stop loving him.

"Thanks." I pretended that I had an abundance of friends at La Push. In fact, Aaron was my only friend. Everyone else treated me as if I had a plague. I was certain the Blacks only spoke to me out of kindness.

"You should get out more," Aaron said as if reading my mind. "You're not going to find any friends by staying cooped up in your room all day."

"I'm only allowed out if Nicole or Jacob accompany me."

"You and I could go out every now and then."

I snickered and rolled my eyes. "Right, Aaron. They don't trust you either." Aaron had been under close surveillance because of me. His parents were monitoring his internet usage, and had requested for their cell phone company to send them every call and text message to and from Aaron's phone. He was already guilty just by association. I had apologized when he told me, but he laughed and shrugged it off. "It feels good to be considered bad for a change," he had said.

"You could help yourself if you started to at least act normal." He twisted the swing around, which caused the chain tighten Once it was released, it sent him spinning. "Stop hiding in your room. Smile and joke every once in a while. Start eating again. Make them think your getting over Snowflake, and chances are they'll let up on you a little."

I thought about what he said. It made sense. "Maybe they will think I'm rehabilitated and I can go home after Christmas." There was a light at the end of the tunnel after all.

"I didn't say they would get totally stupid." Ouch, brick wall. "See, I've been playing my part." Aaron straddled his swing and moved the chain so I could see his face. "There is a network around here. If you want something to spread quick, Paul Hudson is the man. He has a big mouth, and he loathes vampires and anyone associated with them. I've been hanging out with him a lot at the shop lately. One day he mentioned you—"

"What did he say about me?" I asked, cutting Aaron off.

"It doesn't really matter what he said."

"I want to know," I demanded.

Aaron sighed. "Apparently there have been a few occurrences where they have found evidence of vampires being in our area. He's trying to blame everything on you."

"The Cullens are in Alaska and they know the rules."

Aaron didn't miss my flare of temper. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. Don't worry about it. He tried the argument with Mr. Black, but there was no bite. Jacob told him the smell was around before your mom ever called and asked for the favor. Anyways, back to what I was getting at — one day he started talking about you and your love for the bloodsuckers. I agreed with him. I thought it was revolting to even think about a relationship with the cold ones. I told him that I was certain that within a few months, I could have you forgetting all about those bloodsuckers."

"That'll never happen."

"Jane, you missed the whole point." Aaron rolled his eyes. "Because I'm such a wonderful actor, Paul told Mr. Black and Dad what I said. He probably told anyone who would listen." Aaron chuckled. "Now they think I like you more than a just as friend. Pretty soon, my parents are going to stop monitoring me and encourage me to spend more time with you. Please, hold the applause," he said as I continued to stare at him.

"It still wont get me out of La Push for another year."

"Probably not, but at least it will help you have a better chance at communicating with him."

I chewed on my bottom lip and studied Aaron. "Why are you so willing to help me?"

"I want your unending devotion." He laughed. "You're my friend. Hell, you're my best friend." His brown eyes grew serious. "I know how much Edward means to you — I can see that. I don't want to see you vanish before my eyes while I sit idly by and do nothing to stop it."

"Do you hate him as much as the others? I mean — isn't it supposed to be in your nature to despise their kind?"

"According to our legend, a couple of vampires tried to extinguish our people. It was then that we grew to hate vampires. I'm indifferent. The Cullens aren't the same type of vampire who tried to kill off our people. The fact that they are attempting to make a change should mean something. I'm all for giving people chances — even vampires. They had nothing to do with the attack umpteen years ago. To put them in the same category with those vampires would be like saying every German is a Nazi, or every Muslim is a terrorist. It's unfair."

"Why can't the rest of your kind be as smart and understanding as you?"

"Same reason they can't all be as gorgeous as me." What I loved most about Aaron — he could always make me laugh.

"Have you experienced any…changes yet?" I asked.

He turned around in his swing. "No. Paul mentioned something about a fever."

"Like a flu fever?"

"I don't think so. There have been a few occasions when I felt really hot, but it passed within a couple of hours. I hope I get lucky and it skips my generation."

There was a noise in the woods next to the house. I expected to see kids come running out, but instead it was Rachel Hudson and her daughter. They lived next door just on the other side of the woods. Both ladies were carrying casserole dishes. Aaron jumped from his swing and ran to help.

"I've got mine," Rachel said. "Leanne's is a little hot. You might want to take hers." He did as she requested and followed behind Mrs. Hudson to the red house.

Leanne was a year younger than me and looked like most everyone else at La Push. She brushed her long black hair behind her shoulders. I smiled over at her. Here was my chance to make a new friend. Maybe I was just being paranoid thinking no one liked me.

"So, you're the pale face everyone is raising such a big stink over," she said in an unkind voice. My smile disappeared as well as the hope of finding a new friend. Paranoid my ass. I had been right — I was the most hated person in La Push.

"I have no idea." I gave up on worrying about what she thought of me, and tried to ignore her.

"Bullshit. Dad says you're just like your mother. You're too stupid not to know better than hang around a bunch of leeches. At least she has sense enough now to know to stay away from them."

"Your dad…" I grabbed my top lip between my teeth to keep from saying something I could regret later.

"You better hope it's not your leech who has been hanging around the reservation," she said mockingly. The corner of her mouth raised in a cocky smile. "There is a treaty—"

"He is fully aware of the treaty," I responded coldly. "I'm sure he knows more about it than you, since he was there when the damned thing was made."

"Huh. Dad was hoping his feelings for you would be too strong to keep him away. I guess some things just aren't worth the risks." She chuckled when I flinched at her statement. "I'm sure someone has told you how easy it is for a werewolf to kill a vampire. A werewolf's strong and fast. Their teeth can go through a vampire's skin like a hot knife slicing soft butter." I shut my eyes tight to try and block the visualization she gave me. Tears trembled on my eyelids and my chest tightened. "It would be a real shame if your leech tried to play the part of a prince." She giggled. "Now that's funny. A vampire playing a prince? Dad says those bloodsuckers are witless cowards."

I reacted angrily to her harsh words. Suddenly, I was out of my swing and in her face.

"Don't you dare say another word about him. He has more nobleness and wisdom in his pinky than your father has in his whole pathetic body."

Leanne's eyes grew wide. "Don't you talk about my dad," she said through clenched teeth. Then her mischievous smile was back. "You know, the scent alone should be enough to convince some of the elders that your precious leech has broken the treaty. Funny how we didn't have a problem until you got here. I'm sure it wouldn't take much evidence for them to give the order to hunt him down and kill him."

"If you touch him, so help me I'll…" My voice shook with anger.

Her laughter was derisive. "What is a loser human like yourself going to do?"

I didn't think — I just responded. Leanne was on the ground, rubbing her jaw, and I stood over her with my hands balled into tight fist. The beginning of a smile tipped the corners of my mouth. The only bad thing about knocking someone down — eventually they get back up.

My courage didn't last very long. Leanne was on her feet, her dark eyes shooting laser beams at me, and I took a few steps back. Without her having to lift a finger, I tripped over one of the legs of the swing set and fell on my derriere.

"Whoa, what's going on here?" Aaron came running from the house and stood between my supine body, and Leanne's rigid one.

"She socked me," Leanne yelled.

"Then why is she the one on the ground?"

"Because the stupid bitch fell."

Aaron reached down and pulled me up. "You okay?" he asked.

"Sure, take the leech lovers side," Leann fumed. "Everybody already knows you have the hots for her." She didn't wait for Aaron to object. She turned and ran in the house.

Aaron turned his eyes back to me. "Did you hit her?"

"She practically asked for it. I didn't think I would actually knock her down." He started laughing. "I'm going to get in trouble, aren't I?"

"You think Leanne is going to admit to anyone that a vampire lover knocked her down?" He was doubled over with laughter and tears fell from his eyes.

Shortly after the men returned from their hunting adventure, the Thanksgiving feast began. Since the table wasn't big enough to seat us all, some more tables were set up in the shed for the kids. Aaron and I volunteered to sit with them to keep an eye on things. It was another good way for me to avoid Mom.

I spent most of Friday playing games with Austen, Bree, and Bryan. In not so many words, Austen revealed that he missed me. I ruined the moment by letting a tear fall, and as quick as a flip of a switch he was back to his annoying, little brother self.

My family left Saturday. Dad had to get prepared for finals that were coming up. Mom joked that the college kid she had left in charge of her store probably used it for a party pad during the holiday. They each hugged me bye and said they would see me Christmas. Due to the extraordinary acting abilities of the Clearwaters, Dad was still clueless as to the real reason I was forced away to La Push.

I attempted to do as Aaron had requested. I smiled a little more and attempted at conversing with others. I was able to add a few extra pounds, but I couldn't mask the dark circles under my eyes, which was due to lack of sleep thanks to my nightmares. I lied to Nicole and told her I just hadn't got use to my surroundings, therefore I wasn't sleeping good. She started giving me some herbal pills that was supposed to relax and help me sleep. I graciously took them, then flushed them down the toilet.

A few weeks after Thanksgiving, Aaron invited me to the movies. "Come one," he begged. "There is a new Christmas movie out that I have been dying to see."

"I'm sure there is someone else you can take." I wasn't in the holiday spirit.

Aaron lowered his voice. "It's a chick flick. I can't take another guy. If I take you, it'll look like you're the one who wants to see it."

I laughed at his excuse to get me out of the house. I sighed and told him I would have to get Mr. and Mrs. Black's approval before I said yes. They actually seemed pleased that I wanted to go out with Aaron. They must have thought it was a real date, and that maybe Aaron could make me forget the cold, pale, beautiful creature I was so madly in love with.

Friday night, Aaron picked me up in his Subaru. The windows shook from the loud base that came through the speakers. He looked nice in his black jeans and red sweater with black turtleneck underneath. I wore a pair of jeans and sweatshirt over my long johns. I grinned remembering Alice's disapproval of the warm undergarments.

He drove to Port Angeles. The city streets were already decorated for Christmas. The stores had Christmas lights flashing in the windows, while some only had Christmas trees. Rock salt was laid on the sidewalks. The city trucks were working with plow blades and salt spreaders to keep the streets clear of snow.

The theater was crowded with teenagers looking for something to do on a Friday night. Aaron paid our way in and introduced me to a few of his friends. We had to wait for the early show viewers to leave, and for the employees to do a sweep through before we could go in and find a seat.

I was looking at the list of upcoming shows when Aaron nudged me. "Hurry. Pretend you really like me."

"What?" I was caught off guard by the sudden urgency in his voice.

"Pretend you're really into me," he hissed. I noticed a group of girls walking towards us.

"Are you serious?" I laughed.

"Is it that hard for you to pretend to like me? Do I really have to beg?"

I sighed and leaned against him, placing my cheek against his chest. He smelt of sandalwood and cedar. He easily wrapped his arm around me. When the girls got within listening range, I said in my forgotten southern drawl, "Oh, Aaron. The sound of your voice causes my bowels to move." The girls giggled and walked past us. The people in front of us turned and snickered.

"Thanks." Aaron grabbed my shoulders and eased me off him. "I ask for one lousy favor and you grind me in the ground."

I was unable to keep the laughter out of my voice. "Aaron, lighten up. I was just having some fun."

"I'm glad you find my humiliation funny. I've been trying to get her to notice me for two years."

"Well, she noticed you tonight," I managed to say before laughing again.

The doors opened, letting us in to find a seat. Aaron spun me around and prodded me with his finger to move forward. We sat in the center, six rows from the front.

"Which one did you like?"

"The blond with red highlights. Amanda Pittman."

I started to feel bad. He had been my rock and when he needed me, I let him down. He was making sure his phone was turned off, when Amanda and her friends walked in. I nudged him in the side and nodded in their direction. They sat two rows behind us.

"You want to make-out during the movie?" I whispered. "I could straddle your lap and make a big scene. You know — a lot of moaning and groaning. We would be so bad they'd have to kick us out."

He shook his head and chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I never had a chance anyway. She's way out of my league."

The movie ended happily ever after which caused me to gag. We left the theater and headed over to a local pizza joint. Most of the people who had been at the movie was there. A claw machine was near the front of the restaurant, and I bet Aaron he couldn't win. He accepted my challenge and slipped out of our booth.

While he was trying to win a prize and a bet, Amanda Pittman walked through the door. Her friends headed to the booths located in the back, but she stopped at the claw machine. I watched as some words were exchanged, then some laughter. Amanda grabbed a napkin from off a table and wrote something on it, handed it to Aaron, then joined her friends. Aaron walked back to our booth empty handed, but he didn't seem to mind.

"She gave me her number," he said as a smile brightened his face.

"I thought she was out of your league?" I teased. "How did you manage to do the unthinkable?"

"One thing I know about women: They all love a bleeding heart." I raised my eyebrow in amusement. "I told her I was helping a family friend take care of their daughter. I explained to her that you weren't right in the head. She thought it was a sweet gesture."

"Glad I could help."

When we left the pizza joint, Aaron drove me around Forks to see more Christmas decorations. I thought of North Pole and how they always managed to go overboard this time of year. I loved decorating the bookstore. It was one of those rare things Austen and I enjoyed doing together.

It was a little before midnight when Aaron pulled up to the house. The light in the living room glowed through the curtains.

"Hope I didn't bring you home too late," Aaron said.

"They didn't set a curfew." Mr. Black hadn't come barging out the door, which was a good sign. I got out of the car and waived bye to Aaron. He waited until I was inside before turning his car around and leaving.

The house was eerily quite. Normally the television was on, or the sound of music from Bryan or Bree's room, but tonight there was nothing. I tapped on the twins' doors and Mr. and Mrs. Black's bedroom door, but there was no answer. I went into the kitchen — it was dark and just as quiet as the rest of the house. _Surely the whole family hasn't gone looking for me, _I thought.

I hung my coat up and took my boots off, then sat down on the couch. I was a little disappointed that no one was home. I had at least expected Nicole to be waiting to hear how my date went. I frowned and stared at the coffee table wondering where they could be. My head turned and glanced at the small stand where the cordless phone rested. There was no hesitation. I leaped off the couch, grabbed the phone, and dialed the operator.

"Yes, I would like to make a collect call to North Pole, Alaska. Dr. Carlisle Cullen's residence." I blurted out the number that I had so desperately been wanting to call for a month. I chewed on my thumbnail as I paced the floor, looking at the different forms and scratches on the wood floor. The line rang twice before someone picked up.

"You have a collect call from…"

"Jane. Jane Watson," I said quickly, just in case they had forgotten me.

"Caller, do you accept?" the operator asked.

"Of course."

"Alice? Oh, Alice, thank God. Is Edward there?"

"No." My heart sank, but there was no time to sulk. "He's gone—"

"Alice," I butted in, "I don't know how much time I have so I have to make this quick. Did you get my letter?"

"Yes."

I exhaled a sigh of relief. "I think Reggie remembers something about that night."

"Jane, where are you?"

"La Push. I don't know how much or what he knows, but I could tell by the way he kept looking at me that he remembers something."

"Where at La Push?"

"The Black's residence." I was getting agitated at Alice's questions. There were more important matters to attend to, and I had already told her my time was limited. "Have any of you been able to tell if…"

I stopped pacing. The room seemed to drop ten degrees and the hairs on my neck stood on end. My heart began to beat faster willing my blood, which seemed to be frozen, to flow. I was no longer alone in the house.


	31. Chapter 31 Dilemma

Chapter 31

Dilemma

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Slowly, I turned to face the bay window, which faced the back of the house. The phone fell from my hand, and I gasped at the attractive lady standing before me. Her hair was like fire and her skin as white as the snow on the ground behind her. Her eyes was the color of blood.

"Who are you?" At first I wasn't sure if I had asked the question out loud. She stood motionless — staring at me. Then she began to walk towards me with the grace of a ballerina.

"An old friend of you mother's." Her voice sounded like an angel, but her sinister smile said she was anything but that. She picked up the phone from off the floor. Alice's voice was now distant. With one of her long fingernails, she pressed the off key and tossed it on the couch. "How are the Cullens these days?"

"Well," I croaked. I cleared my throat and swallowed the fear.

"Unbelievable," she purred. "I didn't think anyone could smell as sweet as Bella, but I was mistaken. How does Edward manage not to take a sip?" I remained silent — unsure if she wanted me to answer.

"I knew my patience would pay off." She turned her back to me and watched my reflection in the window. "I always kept a tab on Bella and Edward's location. When they both ended up in North Pole, I saw it as my golden opportunity for vengeance at last. What I wasn't expecting was for him to fall in love with you — her daughter. He never had a clue that she was living in the same town." She laughed as if sincerely amused. "At first I thought my eyes were mistaken, but after such a heroic rescue on Edward's part, I knew there was no mistaking his new love interest."

"You were there when I fell through the ice." I thought it had been a hallucination — I had confused her red hair for Austen's red cap.

"I've been watching from a distance ever since to make sure he wasn't trying to pull another fast one on me. Bella did make it difficult when she sent you to this flea infested hell hole. Luckily, Irina is more of a vindictive bitch than I am. If it weren't for her, I doubt I would have been able to get this close."

"What have you done to the Blacks?"

"Nothing. I have no grumble with the werewolves, except I do owe one a scratch. I came for you personally. You should feel special."

"If your grievance is with my mother, then why did you risk coming here for me?"

She made a sound as if the reason was obvious. "Twenty years ago, Edward killed my life partner, James. It's not your mother per say whom I have a grievance with — it's Edward. I'm sure you've heard of the saying, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth? In this case it's lover for lover."

"But I'm not his lover. We…we're just friends. He hasn't been interested in anyone since Mom, and now that he knows she's married — he's moving on. I'm not even sure how much longer they plan on staying in North Pole."

There appeared to be a gleam of interest in her red eyes. "Had I not been observing you two, you could have convinced me. Problem is, I've watched both of you interact with each other and it's much more than just friendship."

Headlights shown through the front window announcing the homeowners arrival.

"The Blacks have nothing to do with this. I'll get them to leave — just please, don't hurt them," I pleaded.

"Problem is — I'm a little hungry and I can't drain you just yet. I tell you what, I'll kill the man first — I think he's the one who got me pretty good the last time. If I'm full after I finish him, I wont have the kids and wife for dessert. How's that for a compromise?" She smiled at me flashing her white teeth.

"Jane! Jane, are you in there?"

I gasped, panting in terror at the sound of Aaron's voice. His footsteps pounded up the steps. The doorknob squeaked as it was turned. My eyes didn't move away from the vampire. She winked and licked her lips. Aaron would be her meal if I didn't do something. I did the only thing I could think to do and threw my body against the door.

"Aaron, you need to leave," I yelled.

"Jane, open up. You have to go with me. There is something bad going on around here and they don't want us by ourselves. Everyone is over at my house."

"Little pig, little pig, let me in," the vampire sung from across the room.

"I don't want to go. No one wants me there. Just leave me alone," I begged.

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin."

"Jane, I'm not leaving without you."

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow the house in."

My feet slid on the wooden floor as Aaron pushed the door open with ease.

"Jane, this is no time to be playing. We have to…" His nose wrinkled and he looked across the room. Aaron's face lost all color. "Shit."

"Hello, son of Sam. Well, at least I can tell Irina that I killed one." She took a few steps towards us.

"Please…don't," I mumbled, unable to look at her smile anymore. It was a useless request, but there wasn't anything else I could do. This had nothing to do with Aaron — it had nothing to do with me — we were both damned to pay for the actions of our parents.

Suddenly, there was a sound unlike anything I had ever heard. I fell back against Aaron, covering my face with my forearm, as glass and wood exploded. It was as if a tree had fallen, or some type of a strong wind storm had gone through blowing out the back of the house.

"Come on, Jane." Aaron was pulling me through the front door. "Hurry! Go, go, go," he yelled.

It hadn't been a tree or a strong wind because the sounds kept getting worse. I didn't take the second to look — I just ran. Aaron was in front of me and to the idling Subaru by the time I got the door open. He threw the vehicle into reverse, and we started moving away from the house at a high rate of speed. I took that moment to peek at the house. There was no longer a light on inside. In fact, from the front of the house, everything looked normal. _Maybe I just imagined it all, _I thought to myself. _Maybe I fell asleep and this is one of my nightmares._

Aaron spun the car around, quickly threw the gear shift into drive, and floored the gas pedal.

"Holy shit. Holy shit," he kept mumbling.

"How did you know to come get me?" I asked, still unsure if what was happening was real.

"When I left, I turned my phone on to call and let Mom know I was on my way. I had like — fifteen voice messages. Every one of them was a frantic call from her telling me to hurry home and to be sure and bring you. I pulled over and called her to find out what was going on. She just said we were in danger, but never elaborated on what kind of danger. I told her I had already dropped you off, and she yelled something about a note on the front door. I told her there was no note. Then she yelled something to somebody, and I told her I would go back and get you. She started to object, but I hung up." Aaron didn't slow down as he turned onto a different road. "Do _you _know what's going on? Who was that? She was a vampire, wasn't she?"

I explained to him what she had told me, and what I had been able to piece together from Mom and Edward's stories. "I have no idea who Irina is, or what they have against your people. But the redhead was only interested in me."

"Looked like she was pretty interested in me too. She knew my dad."

"It seems that your father and Mr. Black have fought her before."

"If she was after your mother when she was staying here, then it's a good—"

Aaron didn't have time to finish his sentence. He slammed on brakes and jerked the wheel to avoid hitting something in the road. He was unable to gain control, and the car plowed into a mound of snow before it slammed into a tree. My body went sailing into the floorboard and my head banged against the dash.

"What was that?" I grabbed my head to try and stop the pounding.

Aaron was already out of the car and had my door open. "I don't want to stick around and find out." He glanced over his shoulder, back towards the road. "It'll be quicker for us to go through the woods anyway."

"What? I don't have any shoes," I complained.

"Would you rather sit here in the car and wait for whatever that thing was to find you, or would you rather run a few miles in wet socks and still have a chance for your feet to get warm and dry in the end?"

I crawled out of the car and Aaron helped me up. The snow melted under my feet, immediately socking my socks. I thought about taking them off, but then thought that some protection on my toes was better than nothing.

Aaron started jogging through the woods, away from the road. The only thing I could do was follow. I wasn't familiar with the surroundings at all. Everything looked the same: trees and snow. He did slow down and let me catch up to him, but then he would take off again. He reminded me of someone scouting the land to make sure it was free of bandits before royalty crossed.

The cold was unfriendly. My chest hurt with every breath. Sometimes, I would run with my hands under my armpits to keep them warm, then place my warm hands on my face. The snow was deep in the woods, which meant I had to exert that much more energy — lifting my legs higher to get through the snow. My height gave me a disadvantage. Aaron easily made it through with his long legs, and because of the difference in our strides, I couldn't simply follow in his footsteps. Two steps for him was the equivalent of five steps for me.

I stopped to catch my breath and stared at Aaron as he continued forward making sure it was safe. _I wish he could carry me like he did when I hurt my ankle, _I thought. There was no way I was going to ask. I was already a hindrance and slowing him down. I didn't want to be a whiny girl who couldn't do anything on her own. I straightened up, pushed my shoulders back, and took another excruciating deep breath. I had put one foot ahead, when I noticed something was suddenly blocking my path.

He was just as fascinating as the rest with snowy white skin. He had the deep red eyes like the previous female. His hair looked like black silk as it draped across his broad shoulders.

"Well, well. What do I have here?" I was startled by his accent, which sounded Russian. "A human, running through the woods, who happens to smell just like the one I'm supposed to be looking for."

"Jane! Jane," Aaron yelled, closing in the distance between us.

"And from your appearance, I take it you are Quileute — someone else I'm supposed to be hunting," the vampire said, turning his attention to Aaron. Aaron stopped; his eyes nervously flickered from the vampire to me. "Aren't you supposed to turn into a big bad wolf or something?" There appeared to be a small hint of amusement in the vampire's tone.

Breath escaped from Aaron's mouth as he thought of a response. "Not all of us have that gift." I got the feeling that for the first time since learning of his family's ancestry, Aaron truly wished he could be a werewolf.

The vampire also appeared sad. "There's not much honor in defeating a _normal _human — even if it is Quileute. I'll let Victoria determine what to do with you. In the meantime, I'm afraid you appear to be a nuisance, therefore I have to do something with you." One second he was standing directly in front of me, then the next he was gripping Aaron's shirt. I didn't have time to open my mouth for a scream. He sent Aaron flying through the air, crashing into a tree. Aaron's limp body toppled to the ground unmoving.

"You didn't have to kill him," my voice broke. My bottom lip trembled and tears spilled from my eyes at sight of Aaron's lifeless form.

"Not my fault he is so weak. I could have made it much worse if you would have liked." His voice was smooth. He slowly made his way back to where I stood — frozen — unable to take my eyes off Aaron. He turned my face towards him. His cold fingers brushed my tears away and I flinched. He chuckled. "From what Victoria has told us, I thought you would be used to a vampire's cold touch by now."

I lifted my eyes meeting his gaze head on. "It's not the coldness that repulses me, it's the person doing the touching."

He frowned. "Such a cocky attitude for a girl who is in peril."

"I doubt if I was friendly and obedient I would be spared." Watching Aaron's demise quenched my fear. I had already determined that I would not be used as a weapon against Edward. If I was going to die, I wouldn't do so in front of his eyes. I would spare him that pain — it was the only thing I could do.

"Victoria has big plans for you, but I'm beginning to think that maybe I…"

"Oh, I see you've found the girl. Splendid." A female with blacker hair than the man's appeared from no where. Her accent was the same as his. She walked around me, then brought her face close to my neck, closed her eyes, and inhaled. She smiled as she exhaled slowly. "Now that we have what we came for, we should probably get moving. One of us can find Victoria and tell her, while the other takes control of the girl."

"I found her, so I'll watch her while you go get Victoria," the male said.

The female rolled her red eyes. "Roman, had I not showed up when I did, you would have sucked her dry. I'm not trusting you alone with her."

"Yes, and when you were smelling her some venom drooled onto your chin, so I'm not trusting you either."

They continued to argue in their native tongue — Russian. I thought of a plan as I wiggled my toes to keep blood circulating. It was a brilliant plan. It wouldn't keep them from killing me, but it could — in the end — get both of them killed. I said a silent prayer that Edward would never know what happened to me. He would certainly blame himself for my death if he knew vampires were involved. Maybe he would think it as another ploy by Mom to keep him away from me. Faking a death was a classic.

"I don't know why you two are arguing," I blurted out. They both fell silent and looked at me. "I've already spoken to Victoria. It's all been a huge misunderstanding."

"You spoke to Victoria and she freely let you walk away?" Roman asked skeptically.

"I'm standing here, aren't I?"

"And what was the misunderstanding?" the female asked, ignoring my sarcasm.

"She thought that Edward was interested in me. He's not. He was using me to get to my mother. She told him she was happily married and wasn't interested in him anymore. She sent me here to make sure he didn't try something to get even with her for breaking his heart. Therefore, killing me to torture him wouldn't be the vengeance Victoria has been seeking. She's just going to go after him on her own…or with some help."

"She freely let you walk away without biting you?" Roman asked again in amazement.

"Well, she probably would have killed me had it not been for the pack of werewolves that appeared…from out of the woods…several, maybe close to fifty of them."

The female looked at me with surprise. "Fifty werewolves?"

I nodded. "They bit into her like she was soft butter."

"Victoria is dead?" Roman asked and shared a glance with the female.

"I didn't stick around for the party, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't going to make it."

They both continued to stare at each other as if trying to figure out whether I was telling the truth.

"Irina didn't say there were fifty of those bastards," Roman sneered.

"Shouldn't one of us go and see if her story is accurate?"

Roman glanced around the area. Snow now covered Aaron's black hair and clothes. I wondered if he was starting to regret his quick decision on killing one of the werewolf's sons. "If we were to kill her, and Victoria is still alive, it would mean the end of our existence."

"We should take her and go together in case there is any trouble," the female suggested.

"You scared of a few werewolves?" Roman joked to his female partner.

"I mostly don't trust you alone with her — nor myself." She licked her lips as she stared at the base of my neck.

"We could tie her to a tree."

"And if the werewolves come and find her we're screwed. If Victoria is still alive and finds out we had her but lost her because we couldn't control ourselves, she will burn us in one piece." The female spit in the snow and pointed at Roman. "I'm going to check her story out. If you eat her, then it's your head. I'm not risking my neck for you. If the werewolves come, just go ahead and leave. We'll…or I'll meet you at the designated spot." She took one more longing look at me, then took off through the woods.

"How do you two manage a relationship with no trust?" I asked. I was thankful to still be breathing. I didn't know whether the female vampire would find Victoria dead or alive. I also didn't know how many werewolves there were in La Push. I knew there were at least three. If I managed to stay alive until one of them found me, I would be christened the luckiest girl alive. I held back tears remembering that Aaron wouldn't. Amanda Pittman's phone number was probably still in his pocket; the melting snow smudging the ink.

"Galina is my sister," he said.

"You're Russian," I said.

"Da."

"How do you two fit into all of this?" It was Victoria's revenge. They appeared to be unclear on the details, which gave me reason to believe they weren't around twenty years ago.

"Victoria ran into us while in Yakutsk. We're old friends. She knows my love for hunting, and said she would make the trip worth our while. I was mostly intrigued at getting to hunt American werewolves. I was anxious to see how they differ from some of the European ones I've come in contact with." He blinked then focused his gaze back on me. "I have to admit that I am well pleased that you are as sweet as she said you were. I am curious about this Edward fellow. I do hope I get to met him."

"Why would you want to?" I tried to keep my voice indifferent.

He raised one black eyebrow as if surprised by my question. "To learn his secret on finding such sweet nectar. It is very rare to come across. And for him to find it twice — that is one lucky bastard."

"You'll probably never get to meet him. Like I told you before, he's not interested in me the way Victoria had thought."

"The fact that you are still breathing tells me he feels something for you. The few that I have come across whose blood called to me, I was unable to complete a sentence before I took their life. It was a shame. They were so young and beautiful. Much like yourself."

"He and his family don't hunt humans."

Roman laughed richly. "He's a vampire. He's still a killer. Papa loved us, but that didn't keep him from killing my mother and other two sisters. His hunger was stronger than his love. He tried to change us all, but once the blood started flowing, he couldn't stop. Galina was his first success. After her, he knew when to stop and then changed me."

"Your father was a vampire?" I was trying to buy time, but was also genuinely intrigued with his story.

"He was changed while aboard _Ivan Vassili _in 1903. He was one of the sailors who went overboard. They claimed it was suicide, but his creator threw him over when she heard others approaching. He left a path of dead bodies on his way back to Russia. He didn't want his family to be his victim, so he decided that we should become like him. I've already told you the rest of the story."

"Where is he now?"

"Galina and I killed him for killing our mother and sisters," he said without any remorse. "Enough small talk." He glanced up at the sky. The snow continued to fall. "Hour of the dead," he whispered to no one in particular. "You were right. No Victoria, now no Galina. I've never traveled by myself." His eyes gleamed at me like glassy volcanic rock. "I'm going to do you a favor. How would you like to become a god — like myself?"

Mixed feelings surged through me. If I became a vampire, I could do as Roman and Galina had done to their father. The playing field would be even and I could get revenge for Aaron's untimely death. My reason for wanting to change was out of hatred for Roman. Nothing should be determined out of hatred. Besides, I wasn't ready to give up my humanity. I remembered the discussion I had with Edward about vampirism and knew it didn't make you even close to being a god. Roman was trying to sugar coat it hoping I would willingly say yes.

"From what you have told me, being a vampire doesn't make you a god. If you were like a god, then you would be able to have more self-control. For instance, you and your father would have been able to stop before sucking others dry. Sorry, but I think I'll decline."

He shot me a twisted smile. "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to ask you for permission; I was thinking out loud to myself. I was wondering whether you were worthy enough to become a vampire like me, or if I should just enjoy the dinner and find someone else to travel with. Truth is, I like your audacity. I think I will try, but I hope you understand if I can't stop."

I almost giggled. Mom thought she had been protecting me, but instead she had unknowingly thrown me into the lions den. I feared that it was going to be painful. How could it not? Teeth, no matter how sharp, sinking into someone's flesh couldn't be pleasant.

His fingers were cool and smooth as they touched my neck. "I'm sorry, but this does hurt," he whispered into my hair confirming my concern.

I closed my eyes and waited for the pain. I clung to the memory of Edward just as I would to a life preserver during a storm in the middle of the dark ocean. I would never forget a single detail of his face, the ecstasy of being held against his strong body, his gentle yet passionate kisses.

Roman placed his hand on my head and tilted it to the side exposing my neck. A hot tear slid down my cold cheek. I knew he wouldn't be able to stop. He wouldn't even try. I didn't regret meeting Edward. I thanked God that I could die knowing what it felt like to love and be loved. My only regret was that our time had been cut short.


	32. Chapter 32 Retaliation

Chapter 32

Retaliation

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

I thought it best to begin where I knew Victoria had been seen last, which was Forks according to Bella. She was the only reliable source I had. Everything Irina had told me was possibly a lie.

I decided to settle at our old abandoned house in Forks, where I was forced to stay confined. It had only been twenty years since we had last lived there. No doubt there would be people around who remembered me and would be intrigued by my agelessness.

Late at night, when everything was quiet, I snuck into the library to check their records. A high number of people killed by animals within a month was a good way to tell when vampires were here last. According to their files, there hadn't been a vampire in the area for eighteen years. My search for Victoria turned cold as soon as I started.

All in all, Victoria wasn't in Forks. Nevertheless, I couldn't bring myself to leave knowing Jane was in La Push. I had one of those unsettling feelings that something was amiss. Therefore, I decided to hang around Forks, and would remain until either the feeling went away or I received word on Victoria's hiding place.

I called to check in on the family once in a while. I never told them where I was, though Alice hinted to me that she knew. The others would have claimed that I was just being paranoid, and warn me not to cause problems with the Quileute.

Staying away wasn't easy, though I safely kept my distance from the treaty line. My thoughts kept me uptight. I constantly wondered what Jane was doing, if she was safe, if they were treating her with utmost respect, or if they demoralized her for being in love with a vampire. There had been several occasions when I had to steady myself to keep from storming over the property line. The only thing that kept me from doing such an act, was knowing the war it would initiate between the werewolves and my family.

When I wasn't hunting, I was reading or forming a plan on how to find Victoria — anything to try and keep my mind off Jane. At night, I would sometimes travel to Port Angeles, hoping to see her. She had been sent away because of me. Sometimes I wondered if it hadn't been best if I'd just left when Bella asked. That course of action would have left Jane more distraught and defeated than her present circumstances, not to mention the pain and regret it would have caused me.

Late one night, I had come in from hunting and just settled down to begin a book by a promising new author, when my cell phone started to ring. I crossed the darkened floor, curious why my family would be calling me at such a late hour.

"Trouble sleeping?" I joked.

"Edward, please tell me you're in Forks? Please, please tell me you're in Forks?" Alice's voice was two pitches too high.

Again, there was that feeling of uncertainty. I had felt it earlier when I was hunting, but shrugged it off. Now, the sound of Alice's voice told me my feelings were accurate.

"Did you have a vision?" I asked, forcing my own voice to remain calm.

"No. I still haven't had a vision of Jane since she moved. It's as if an invisibility blanket has been placed over her. It's what I heard that has got me so flustered."

"What you heard?" Her statement confused me.

"Jane called tonight. She asked for you, but I told her you weren't here."

"Did you tell her I was in Forks?" If she knew I was close to her either two things would happen: she would be comforted knowing I was close, or she would attempt to find me.

"She wouldn't hardly let me get in two words." I grinned knowing how angry that must have made Alice. "She's staying at the Black's residence." There was such a long period of silence, I glanced at my phone to make sure we were still connected.

"Okay. That makes sense. Bella was close to Jacob Black. His father and Charlie were best friends." Bella had told Jane she was going to be staying with Sue Clearwater. This recent information didn't surprise me, but it seemed to have gotten under Alice's skin.

"That's not what's upset me," she said as if reading my mind for a change. "It's what I heard before the phone went dead." There was another voice in the background — Jasper. "You've got to swear you wont do anything stupid. Swear?" she demanded.

"What are you keeping from me?" Anger and fear swirled in the center of my chest.

"It was her…Victoria. I—"

"How long ago?" I asked moving with speed out the door.

"Five minutes — maybe a little longer. Edward, you—"

"Wait for us to get there," Jasper said. "Alice and I are on our way."

"It'll take too long," I argued. "I'll call you back when I know something." I turned the phone off, and placed it in my pocket. There was no time to wait. Victoria already had a head start.

I had a flashback of Phoenix, remembering what damage James had caused Bella in the short time they were alone together. Had I not shown up when I did, Bella would have either died or became a vampire. Victoria wasn't interested in another companion — she was interested in retribution.

I pondered on how Victoria was able to get so close to Jane. Werewolves senses were just as keen as vampires. Jacob Black should have been able to pick up on Victoria's presence well before she was ever able to step foot in his house. Unless Jane wasn't at his house.

I paused at the treaty line, realizing I had no idea where to go. Jane could be anywhere. The odds seemed to be stacked up against me. I had no idea where Jane was, and I had no idea where Jacob Black lived. Once I crossed the treaty line, the werewolves wouldn't stop to question me on why I was there — they would just see a vampire and attack. I was confident I could defend myself against two, but if there were more, that would decrease my chance of survival. Nonetheless, that wasn't what made me hesitate on crossing the line — it was the fact I had no conception on where to run.

Stealthily, I moved through the woods. My senses attentive for any sign of a werewolf, a vampire, or Jane. I came through a clearing where several houses were clumped together. I remained motionless as I read the minds of the people inside. They were clueless as to anything supernaturally occurring n their area. I glanced up at the night sky as snow continued to fall. This hunt was going to take much longer than the one had in Phoenix. Finding Bella had been a breeze thanks to Alice and her vision. This time, I was alone on enemy's land, in a race against time.

I headed back into the woods and moved south. Tension and fear gnawed away at my confidence. I was furious at my helplessness. I wasn't even sure if Victoria or Jane was still in La Push. They could already be long gone, then I could get caught breaking the treaty and may never find Jane. I swallowed the despair in my throat and continued my search.

I came to a road and noticed a car in the woods about 100 feet away. The closer I got, the more powerful the smell. I ran to the smashed Subaru and tore the door off. Empty. There was no doubt Jane had been in the car. I began to search the ground and observed two sets of footprints. One was larger than the other. The larger one seemed to be leading the smaller one, which undoubtedly belonged to Jane. My eyes roamed the woods in front of me. I went a little further south of the footprints, and followed the trail at a parallel angle, keeping myself hidden in the trees.

There she was. Her hair hung damply on her shoulders. I frowned at her attire. _She'll catch a cold if she stays out any longer, _I thought. I was surprised to see that the vampire in front of her was not Victoria, but a male vampire with pitch black hair.

"Your father was a vampire?" Jane asked. I slowly continued to move forward — staying hidden in the woods. _This could be an ambush, _I thought staying alert to all the sounds and smells around me. Alice had been positive it was Victoria's voice she had heard.

The vampire was telling Jane about his family history. He was Russian and older than me, though he looked to be about my age when he was changed. There was a body slumped against a tree. He looked to be Quileute but in human form, which I found odd considering a vampire was close by. I concluded that the footsteps Jane had followed belonged to him. He had been her ally.

I was now in the position where I could see Jane's face. Her nose and cheeks were pink from the cold. A heaviness centered on my chest as I saw the sorrow in her eyes. She didn't appear to be afraid, but sad. I forced myself to continue to circle the area. I would be no use to her if I got sloppy now and fell into Victoria's hands.

"Where is he now?" she asked him.

"Galina and I killed him for killing our mother and sisters," he replied coldly. "Enough small talk. Hour of the dead. You were right. No Victoria, now no Galina." _Victoria had been here, _I thought. But he sounded as if she was no longer alive. I also gathered that another female had accompanied them but had faced the same fate as Victoria. I instantly became alert for werewolves. Having them show up would not go in my favor. "I've never traveled by myself," the vampire continued. "I'm going to do you a favor. How would you like to become a god — like myself?"

His words caused me to stop in my tracks.

Jane paused a moment before responding. "From what you have told me, being a vampire doesn't make you a god. If you were like a god, then you would be able to have more self-control than what some do. Your father, for instance, would have been able to stop before sucking your mother and sisters dry. Sorry, but I think I'll decline."

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to ask you for permission; I was thinking out loud to myself. I was wondering whether you were worthy enough to become a vampire like me, or if I should just enjoy the dinner and find someone else to travel with. Truth is, I like your audacity. I think I will try, but I hope you understand if I can't stop."

I knew from reading his thoughts that he wanted her. My body shook with rage as I watched him touch her.

"I'm sorry, but this does hurt."

Jane squeezed her eyes shut. She held her breath and waited for the pain. Her thoughts were so powerful, I groaned at the despair she was feeling.

When the vampire tilted her head, I sprung. I had waited long enough — maybe too long. If it was a trap, I would just have to fight that much harder. If the werewolves were hiding in waiting, at least Jane would be safe from vampires.

I grabbed the vampire and slung him backwards away from Jane. I had caught him off guard, and had him in my grip before he hit the ground.

"Where's Victoria?" I seethed, slamming him hard against a tree. Snow fell from the pines.

An amused smile spread on his face. "Edward Cullen. I've heard so many stories about you." _Is it true you can read minds?_

My lips curled back into a snarl as I continued to look into his ruby red eyes. Each time I came across a blood lust vampire, I was reminded how easily it would be for me to have eyes like theirs. One slip…one brief moment of self-indulgence could make me just like them — a true monster through and through.

I slammed him again into the tree. The bark cracked from the impact. "You tell me where Victoria is, and I _might _let you continue to live."

"According to your jewel, she is dead." His thoughts told me he believed Jane to be telling the truth. Victoria — who had always been a threat and tormented my mind was now dead? "How do you manage to be around her and not devour her?" His voice drew my thoughts back to the present.

"Her life is more important than my hunger and pain."

He stared, complete surprise on his face. "A vampire with a soul. The Volturi will never condone such a relationship. One day you will either have to kill her or change her." Suddenly, a devilish look came into his eyes. _If your soul is going to prevent you from changing her, mine wont._

His hands reached up and grabbed my shoulders. With fierce strength, he began to push me forward across the snow with incredible speed. He was stronger than I had originally assessed. He had me pinned against a pine tree — his forearm against my throat.

"It was a very gallant attempt — you rescuing your jewel; however, you've failed. I would love to keep you around to watch her glorious transformation, but I'm afraid you would continue to try and spoil my plans. Therefore, I'm going to have to kill you."

Through the years, my family learned how to keep some of their thoughts to themselves and block me from their mind making me rely on my speed alone during our mock fights. Lucky for me, this vampire didn't know how to keep me from reading his thoughts, and he was clueless to just how fast I was. Sure, he was strong, but strength alone can only get you so far in a vampire brawl.

His intention was to thrust my head back with his forearm, which would have exposed my neck for a quick kill. Unfortunate for him, he severely misjudged my having a soul as not being able to be ruthless. I used his foolishness to my advantage.

I swung with my free left hand while my right hand grabbed a hold of his arm and spun him around. Once I was free from his grasp, I immediately went on the defensive, blocking his blows and staying clear of his reach. It wasn't hard. His mind was an open book showing me every move he planned.

What I needed to do was get him further away from Jane. I allowed him to continue to pursue me deeper into the woods. The only words we exchanged were snarls and growls.

His mild temper from earlier was now replaced with sheer anger. I wasn't like any vampire he had ever faced before. Every dirty, low trick he tried, I was able to parry. _Just a few more feet, then I will have to…_ My thoughts were silenced by Jane's plead.

_Edward! It's her! Victoria is here!_

The vampire I was fighting cheered as he landed a heavy kick to my abdomen. I didn't have time for this game anymore. I had to hurry back to Jane.

He didn't give me much time to recover, but I didn't need it. This time instead of only blocking his attack, I counterattacked landing quick, damaging moves of my own. I had to at least immobilize him long enough to allow me to get back to Jane.

I gave him the opening he had been looking for. I dropped down to my knees after his roundhouse kick to the side of my head. He arrogantly approached my fallen body.

"That was a good workout. It's a shame you caused me to excrete so much energy. Now I know I wont be able to stop once I start feasting on her blood."

I stared straight ahead as I said, "You're not going to get a drop of her blood."

Knees on a vampire is just as valuable has those on a human. If the knee goes out, it slows a person down considerably. With speed and ferociousness, I twisted behind him and clamped my teeth down on his popliteal fossa. He roared in agony as I tore his leg apart. Now our positions had changed. I was standing over him, holding his lower leg.

There was no time for gloating or sharing last words. He continued to curse me in Russian, as I threw the leg as far as I could in the woods. With him no longer a threat, I hurried back towards Jane. I knew they would be waiting on me. This was the moment Victoria had been waiting for, for over twenty years.

I came to the clearing where they were standing and stopped at the tree line.

"I'm glad you survived Roman," Victoria said. "I would have hated it if he would have killed you and spoiled my fun." My muscles tightened as she lifted and sniffed Jane's hair. "I have imagined this day for so long…I can't believe it is finally coming to pass." She stopped just behind Jane — fixating her red eyes on me. "I begged James to let me accompany him to Phoenix, but he laughed and said how easy it was going to be. He had it all planned out, except he underestimated your family. I thought Bella sending her daughter here was going to be a hindrance to my plan, but as it turns out it's actually helped me. Remind me to send your mother a thank you note."

"Even if you kill us both, you wont make it out of La Push alive," I said. "The werewolves will kill you before you cross the treaty line. Ah, that's right. They don't need a treaty line to hunt vampires who kill humans. That's what got Laurent in trouble. He was going to kill Bella, who happened to be best friends with one of the werewolves. Imagine what extreme they will go to, to find a vampire who has killed one of their own."

She didn't bother to redirect her eyes from me to Jane's dead Quileute friend. "I'm not the only vampire around to place blame." Her lips spread into a thin smile.

"Eleazor is here?" Eleazor was part of the Denali Coven. He and his wife Carmen were good friends of mine.

"He came to gather information on the werewolves for Irina, and no doubt to keep an eye on me and my friends. He is very untrusting. He feels that Irina is making a big mistake on wanting to attack the werewolves. I could care less. I've got what I've come for." She placed her hands on Jane's shoulders. "You know I have a knack for defeating the odds. I think I can kill you both, and still escape the wrath of the werewolves. Even if I don't, just to see the pain on your face when I crack her neck will be worth it." Her hands slowly moved up and clamped around Jane's throat.

She had me. There was no way I would be able to make it to Jane before Victoria snapped her neck. My anguish was on the verge of overcoming my control. I took a few steps forward. "Victoria, Jane has nothing to do with what happened. This is between you and me. I killed James. I'm the one you want. I wont even fight you. I'll let you—"

"No," Jane mumbled. A single tear fell from her brown eyes. _Even if you give yourself over to her without a fight, once you're dead she will still kill me. You have to fight. If you don't finish her now, she will go after Mom and the rest of my family. She wont stop. _

I was momentarily calmed just by the sound of her voice. Now wasn't the time to question on how I could hear her when before I couldn't. I was just content at hearing her soft, smooth voice. A voice Victoria intended to take from me. _I don't know what I'm supposed to do. _I couldn't bring myself to take my eyes off Jane with Victoria's hands threatening her life.

_Don't punish yourself for my death. It was meant to be; you can't fight fate. I'm just thankful I got to see you again. I love you._

_I love you. _A soft, loving curve touched her lips as if she in return could read my mind.

"How brave," Victoria said, pulling my attention back to her. It looked like the snow itself was moving behind her, but I didn't dare look away from her stare. "I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. See, you took something precious from me, so I'm going to take something precious from you. I _need_ to see the despair and heartbreak in your eyes. For you to feel…" She paused and lifted her head slightly higher. Her smile was anything but pleasant. "The werewolves are close. I can smell them. I guess Galina couldn't distract them all. Doesn't matter. It's time for the finale. I'm afraid yours doesn't have a hap—"

Victoria's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. Then her head toppled off her body before it collapsed onto the snow. Jane sagged forward, dropping down to her knees. Her hands grabbed her neck making sure it was still attached to her body. Her eyes slowly lifted to mine — confusion written all over her face. Before she was able to turn around to see the gruesome scene behind her, I quickly grabbed her and placed myself between her and a new threat: A snarling, massive white werewolf.

**End Notes: **From reading some of the reviews of the last chapter, I know I have probably angered some people. Sorry. I had already written most of this chapter before the reviews, and believe it or not, had actually considered rewriting this one. However, I resisted the urge and decided to stick with my original outline. I understand there may be those of you who are frustrated, but please bear with me. Thanks again for everyone's interest and reviews during this story. I promise, it is not one that will go on forever; only a few more chapters left. Once again, thanks for you kindness and positivity.


	33. Chapter 33 Cause and Effect

Chapter 33

Cause and Effect

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**EPOV**

"Oh, my, God," Jane breathed as she peered around my shoulder, tightly clutching my arm.

_Holy shit. I…I can't believe I just killed a vampire. I can't believe I'm a freaking dog! Holy shit. It finally happened. _The werewolf finally raised his eyes from the dead vampire to Jane and me. I braced myself for an attack. _Does she know it's me?_

"Who are you, and I'll ask her?" I eyed him cautiously. He took a couple of steps back. "I can read your mind — your thoughts."

_You must be Snowflake…I mean, Edward. Tell her it's me, Aaron._

"Aaron?"

"Aaron?" Jane repeated after me. "But I thought you were dead." Jane and I simultaneously glanced over to the place where the Quileute boy had been just moments earlier. The body was no longer there.

"The impact only knocked him out," I said, shorting his response.

"You're alive! Did it hurt — the phasing? Did you know what was going to happen? God, I can't believe you're alive. Do you feel different? Do you think you can change back? I mean…is there a time frame on how long your supposed to stay this way?" Jane rambled on nervously.

"I don't mean to make light of your remarkable recovery and transformation," I interrupted, "but I have two vampires to burn. Jane needs to get out of the cold before she gets frostbite and pneumonia. Plus, I need to hurry and get off the property before the others know I'm here." I glared at Aaron. "Unless, I'm already caught?"

_I know why you're here, _Aaron said. _I don't have the same principles as the others, but you are right. If they catch you on their land_…

There was rustling in the woods. Considering Aaron wasn't a threat, I glanced over my shoulder. Even though Aaron didn't agree with the rules of his tribe, I seriously doubted he would help defend me against the rest of the pack. One by one the wolves emerged from the woods. It was me against seven angry werewolves.

"If at all possible, I would prefer not to fight in front of her." I spoke to the black werewolf. I gathered from their thought pattern that he was the leader of the pack. "I would appreciate it if you would allow Aaron to take her to safety. She's been out in the cold for too long, and I dare to say the day has been traumatizing."

"I'm not going anywhere without you," Jane said. Her knuckles were white where she continued clutching the sleeves of my shirt. There was a look of determination on her face. Her mind, which very recently had been undefended, was now blocked. "I'm your only protection against them. Once I'm out of the way, they'll kill you. I'm not going to let that happen."

_If she chooses to protect him, let her pay the price, _a dark gray wolf said as it swiftly moved closer to us.

I tried to move Jane behind me, but she stood her ground like a rock — refusing my protection. Aaron jumped in front of her, snarling. His white hair stood on end. Another werewolf with brown fur, quickly moved forward to block the gray one. It was the leader who stopped the procession.

_No one is going to do anything right now until we figure out what's going on._

_I thought that had already been determined when the bloodsuckers attacked my house, _said a reddish werewolf.

_Sam, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that a Cullen has broken the treaty, _said the gray one. _That alone requires immediate disposal. How do we know he didn't bring a team of leeches with him to wage war against us for protecting Bella's daughter?_

"There is a war being planned, but it isn't being planned by me or my family." All eyes shifted my direction.

_How do you know this? _Sam asked.

"I got it from her," I said nodding towards Victoria's downed body, "and from another vampire I injured."

_How many more are there?_

"I'm not sure. I don't think they were supposed to have attacked you so soon. They were only supposed to have observed. One of the ones who came is an old friend—"

_We can't trust him, Sam. If Paul hadn't been visiting, I could have lost my family._

_Jared, you and Paul need to calm down. If he has vital information on what is going on — especially if some are planning a war with us — every word is important. _Sam paused a moment. _What were you doing on our land to begin with? You know the rules. You were there when they were made._

"I would love to tell you everything I know, but right now Jane needs to get on dry clothes. Aaron can take her to your house. We need to burn Victoria and the other vampire I left in the woods."

_It's a trick, _Paul said.

"It's no trick." I was beginning to lose my patience.

_She has been out here for a long time, _Aaron spoke for the first time. _She needs to get warm and rest. I'll take her back to our house. I assume that's where everyone is at? _Sam nodded his head.

"Get on Aaron's back," I instructed Jane.

"No. I'm not leaving without you."

"Jane, you—"

"No." Her body shook from the cold, but her eyes were unrelenting. "If you're staying, I'm staying. You helped save me, this is the only way I can repay you."

"You don't have to repay me for anything. If you were to catch pneumonia and die, all my effort would be gone to waste. You need to get dry."

She shook her head. "I'm not leaving without you."

"Damn it, Jane."

_You can follow Aaron and her to our house, _Sam said._ We'll take care of the fallen vampires._

_I don't want him around my family without proper protection, _Paul said. _No offense, but Aaron is a rookie. I'll take Jane._

I sneered. "I'm not letting you touch her."

_I'll take them. _The brown werewolf laid on the ground in front of Jane. _Edward and I have some catching up to do. Besides, Aaron needs to be shown the proper way of disposing a vampire. _

"Jane, I believe you know Jacob Black," I said. "He's going to take you to Sam's house. I'll follow."

"Why can't you carry me?"

"Because you would turn to ice. I'm cold, he's warm. His fur will protect you against the cold wind. I can't do that."

"I don't mind the cold," she said as she tried to still her body from shaking. "I love it."

I chuckled. "Of course you do. Though your mind and heart is telling you one thing, the fact remains that it is healthier for you to travel with Jacob. You've beat hypothermia one time — let's not push our luck."

"What if once I get on him, he takes off and they attack you?" she whispered though the werewolves could hear her.

"They wont because Sam has ordered them not to. Trust me."

I helped her on Jacob's back. Her hands weren't able to reach all the way around his large neck. She dug her fingers deep in his fur for a tight grip. Once she was steady, he took off with me following close behind. Sam assured me they could find Roman without my help.

_When we get closer, I need to inform the ones who are protecting the house that you are with me so they wont attack. _Jacob sent a message to the others, and soon a simple wooden home came into view. A sandy colored werewolf paced in front of the house guarding their precious family inside. He glanced our direction — his cadence never changed.

I helped Jane off Jacob. "Did you have fun?" I asked. Jacob trotted off into the woods to phase, leaving Jane and I alone.

"I would have had more fun with you." She smiled. The pinkness in her cheeks had already subsided from being so close to Jacob.

"Yes, but you would have been an ice sculpture."

Her expression stilled and became somber. "You shouldn't have come for me. They would love any reason to kill you, and now you've given them one."

"I'm certainly not regretting my decision." Seeing her beautiful face staring up at mine was all the evidence I needed to prove that my action was worth the risk.

"What was the point of you risking your life to save mine?"

"What's the point of me living if Victoria or Roman had killed you?"

"You two could go at this all day, but Jane needs go inside and get some sleep." Jacob came out of the woods. His brown fur replaced with shorts and a t-shirt.

"I couldn't sleep if I wanted to." Her body tensed as she once again took a protective stance in front of me. As if she could have really protected me from a werewolf. The silly act was endearing.

"Jane, you need to go inside and get dry," I said.

"You come inside with me."

Jacob snorted. "That's not going to happen."

"Then I'm not going in."

Jacob flashed me a look of disdain. "You've got her brainwashed just as bad as you had Bella. How much longer before you abandon her and rip her heart from her chest? Do you even realize the damage you caused Bella when you left? You really screwed up her head. Now, you're doing the same thing to Jane."

"I'm not abandoning Jane," I replied through clenched teeth. "That's why I'm here, mongrel."

"He's not screwing with my head," Jane spoke out. "I'm not a naïve child. I understand there are limitations to our relationship. No relationship is perfect."

"Relationship? Is that what you call it?" Jacob's voice was heavy with sarcasm. "What kind of relationship does a couple have where one has to worry about bleeding in front of the other? Your mother was almost killed by his brother because of a small paper cut." The memory of that night still caused me to flinch. "What kind of relationship will it be when you have to hide in the shadows because he can't be in the sun? What do you think will happen ten, twenty years from now when you age and he remains the same? When he's through playing with you and leaves? It'll happen, Jane. You just can't see it now because vampires blind you in with their sex appeal." Jacob's mouth twisted into a frown.

"I'm sick and tired of everyone expecting the worse." Her brown eyes conveyed the fury within her. "There are people who have been married for years, and suddenly one decides to leave without any reason. It happens all the time. He could leave me in ten or twenty years if he was human. And as far as some things I may have to give up to be with him, there are couples who have to make sacrifices, and they do so out of love. If I have to sacrifice the sun for him — I will. God knows, he's having to put up with all this bullshit for me."

Jane made valid points, but since I was Jacob's enemy, he refused to listen to any of them. He couldn't see past what I was — a vampire. If the roles were reversed, I would have probably felt the same way.

The crunch of snow alerted me that something was behind me.

_We burned the redhead Aaron killed, _Sam said, _but we couldn't find the one you fought in the woods._

"Are you sure you looked in the right place? I tore the bottom half of his leg off. There is no way he could have crawled the distance I threw it in such a short amount of time."

_He had help. I picked up the scent of the female vampire who helped Victoria escape our clutches. The pack is still looking for them, but chances are they are far away from here by now._

I didn't like this news at all. "Must have been his sister he thought was dead."

_You mentioned a war earlier, can you elaborate?_

"Little less than twenty years ago, your pack killed a vampire named Laurent."

"Laurent?" Jacob said. "Wasn't that the bloodsucker who tried to kill Bella after you abandoned her?"

White smoke came from Jane's mouth as she gave a irritated sigh. I inclined my head. "He was with James and Victoria, but left them and joined some friends of our in Denali. They share our same…diet choices. Laurent had expressed to Carlisle that he was interested in our way of life. There was no way I was going to agree for him to join our coven, so Carlisle directed him to Tanya's in Denali. While there, he became romantically involved with Tanya's sister, Irina. She is the one who is waging a war against your pack because she discovered you killed Laurent."

"Yeah, but they killed him because he was going to kill Mom, right?" Jane asked.

"I don't know if they are aware of that piece of information. What she told my family was that the werewolves killed Laurent for no reason, and shortly thereafter killed Bella."

"Please, we would never harm a human," Jacob said.

"Not intentionally, no." My eyes briefly met Sam's. "Irina lied to try and get my family to join her in attacking your pack for revenge. It wasn't just because of the treaty that we refused. We knew something in her story smelt like a wet dog…excuse my analogy."

Sam ignored me. _Victoria and those other two — were they in on the attack that Irina is planning?_

"Irina recruited Victoria, who in turn recruited Roman and his sister but for a very different purpose, which I'm sure no one in the Denali Coven knew about. That's why I need to find Eleazar. Victoria said he was here at La Push. They were only supposed to be scoping the area — finding out how many werewolves they would be up against. If I can talk to Eleazar, I may be able to prevent Irina's war effort. I don't know how many nomad vampires she has been able to find to join her cause."

_What do you hope to accomplish in helping us? _Sam asked. He didn't try to hide his suspicions.

"It's my fault that things got so out of control. Had I'd properly taken care of the problem years ago, your pack would have no reason to be in danger. I'm just trying to make right my past sins."

"Yet here you are still making the same mistakes," Jacob said.

_There is still the matter we have to discuss about you violating the treaty. Don't think that we are going to take that lightly._

"I don't. I'll find Eleazar, speak with him, and then return here. That matter can be discussed upon my return."

_How can I trust you that you will return? How can I trust that you aren't working for the other side?_

I looked down at Jane. Her weary body leaned against mine. "Because of her."

Sam thought for a moment. _We'll be here waiting._

I turned Jane around to face me. "Jane, you need to go inside and get some sleep. You're exhausted. I have to go find a friend to stop a potential war."

"I'll go with you."

"No you wont," Jacob said.

"Darling, you can't go with me. I'll be safe. Eleazar is a good friend."

"Roman and Galina aren't. I know they aren't dead. What if they find you? It'll be two against one."

"If they do find me, how do you plan on helping?" I asked in good humor. "I'll be fine."

"You'll come back?"

"I promise."

Jacob made a sound when I bent and lightly kissed her lips. I would have liked for the kiss to have lasted longer, but it was neither the place nor time. Had I lingered longer on her lips, I would have fought to take her with me even though that would not had been the smartest thing to do. I took off into the woods without a second glance back.

I didn't expect to find Eleazar in La Push. I quickly made my way back across the territorial line, and stopped when I received service on my cell phone. I called Denali to see where he was hiding out. Luckily, I got Carmen (Eleazar's wife) on the phone. She sounded surprised to hear from me. She confirmed that her husband didn't trust Victoria and her minions, and had agreed to be the one to travel with them to inspect La Push, although he thought that attacking the werewolves was a bad idea.

"Don't tell me Carlisle has changed his mind, or are you there for retribution yourself?" she asked with concern.

"No. There is no reason for me to seek revenge. Bella isn't dead."

"But Irina told us—"

"She lied to try and get my family to fight along side her. Carmen, it's a long story. I need to find Eleazar."

She gave me an address and phone number in Seattle where he was staying. I went back to my house in Forks, got in my rental vehicle, and headed north to Seattle. I managed to reach him by phone, and we decided to meet along the waterfront at Myrtle Edwards Park.

It was close to noon by the time I got there. There weren't many people at the park, which made it easy to find a vacant bench. Something about cold air and light rain kept people inside. I sat and waited.

"I know you must be angry that we are associating with Victoria." Eleazar's smooth Spanish voice cut through the silence. He sat down next to me, his face showing no expression. "Trust me, I don't like it any more than you do. Thanks to her and the Russians, the werewolves will be on alert now."

"Is Irina in charge of this attack?" I asked.

"Irina is hell-bent on eliminating the Quileute tribe. You would have thought Laurent was a saint by the way she has been campaigning for others to join her cause." His laugh was low, throaty. "Carlisle upset the sisters when he refused to get his coven involved. Sorry to hear about Isabella. You left for all the right reasons. Her death was inexorable."

"She's not dead." Eleazar's eyebrows raised inquiringly. "Irina lied to try and get my family to fight with her."

"You're sure?"

I laughed. "Positive." I told him every detail ending with me meeting him. "This war nonsense has got to be stopped. The werewolves did nothing wrong."

"My instincts told me something just wasn't right." Eleazar's eyes darkened. "I never trusted Laurent. Irina took to him like a fish out of water, and he used that to his advantage." A slow smile formed on his face. "You are a glutton for punishment. What is it with you and human girls? Can you not find a nice vampire out there?"

I grinned at his teasing. "The heart wants what the heart wants."

He threw his head back with laughter. "Now I know you've lost your mind — quoting Woody Allen instead of Shakespeare." We laughed together. "Seriously, Edward, you worry me at times. I don't want to see you go down the same dark road you traveled when you left Isabella."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I knew my life would end when Jane's did. That decision had been made less than twelve hours ago when Victoria had her hands around her neck. Eleazar rose from the bench, drawing my attention back to the present.

"I'll head back to Denali. Tanya has to stop her sister from making a terrible mistake. With the information you have just provided, I know Tanya and Katie wont join her, but the few nomads she has already located would enjoy nothing better than an excuse to kill. I don't know how we will be able to put a stop to them. Maybe once they hear that Irina's own coven isn't backing her plan, their bloodlust will dwindle."

"Do you know when they were planning on attacking, or how many she may have?" I asked as we walked side by side heading away from the waterfront. Any information I could gather would be beneficial to the pack.

"Irina wanted to attack as soon as first of the year. I would venture to say she has maybe…five allies. Maybe a couple more, couple less." He stopped suddenly. "Do you plan on joining forces with werewolves against her?"

"Like they would ever accept my services." I chuckled. "I'm in enough hot water as it is because I broke the treaty."

"Surely they understand the circumstances. Would they had rather Jane be killed? You saved a human life from a vampire, that must count for something. One less vampire for them to worry about." Eleazar joked. "Would you like for me to accompany you back to La Push? In case they are not forgiving, you may need backup."

"No. I can handle the mutts. You need to go and stop Irina. Their pack is large and powerful. It'll be suicide if she continues this pointless revenge crusade."

"Be very careful, Edward," Eleazar warned. "You're treading on dangerous waters. I'm not going to mention Jane when I relay the information to the others. Irina will be furious with you for siding with the werewolves. If she were to find out you were involved with a human, I wouldn't put it past her to alert the Volturi."

Eleazar and I parted ways; I headed south and he headed north.

I called Alice to let her and Jasper know Jane was alive and Victoria was dead. I didn't mention the Russians, the possibility of a forthcoming war, my ratting out a friend, or me being caught on enemy territory. Alice advised me Carlisle and Esme left a few days ago to spend Christmas with our friends in South America, and Emmett and Rosalie had left for Paris. She and Jasper had planned on leaving for Texas, but didn't want to go without hearing that I was safe. I assured them all was well, and there was no reason for them to stick around North Pole. I had planned on remaining in Forks, and would join them back home after New Years. Alice was hesitant, but the thrill of discovering Jasper's family won in the end.

I made it back to Sam's house around twilight. A pungent smell came from a barn on the side of the house. I determined that was where the wolves were and walked in that direction. Aaron met me half-way.

"Some were beating on whether you'd come back." He smiled. "Thanks. I just won some money."

He led inside where the rest of the pack was gathered. There were no animals in the barn except for the wolves. Inside the large room was a large rectangle table, which seated twelve. There was a pool table further in the back as well as a kitchenette. Sam sat at the head of the table and motioned for me to sit at the other end. Aaron took a seat next to me.

"Did you speak with your friend?" Sam asked.

I relayed what information I had been able to obtain from Eleazar.

"Less than ten vampires?" Paul chuckled. "Piece of cake."

"Once he addresses his coven, I should have more information for you," I said.

"Who said you're going to be around to give us information?" Paul sneered. "You broke the treaty."

"Who's in charge?" I asked, looking at Sam. "You are him?"

A few suppressed laughter; some suppressed the urge to phase and take my head off.

Sam remained calm and took over the meeting. "The Cullens left twenty years ago. I know what — or should I say who brought you back here. You had already planned to break the treaty. How do we know you didn't instigate this attack?"

I swallowed hard trying to subdue my anger. "I would never willingly put her life in danger," I replied sharply. "I didn't come here with the intentions of breaking the treaty. I came here because I was going to attempt to track Victoria. This was the last place she was seen. True, I knew Jane was here. I ventured to Port Angeles a few times in hopes of seeing her. I wont lie and tell you I never thought of crossing the line, but I assumed she was safe and didn't. So much for assumption."

"Then how did you know they were here?"

"Jane called my sister, Alice. Alice heard Victoria over the phone. She knew that I was in Forks, so she called me."

"And you just happened to know where to find her?" Paul said.

"No. I didn't. I got lucky and found Aaron's wrecked car. Then I just followed their tracks."

"You still had no right to come on our land," Paul spat. "You're lucky we didn't find you first and rip you to shreds."

I laughed without humor. "You couldn't even kill the two who was right in front of you."

Paul jumped up from his chair, nostrils flaring.

It took a few moments for Sam to get his pack under control. Once he did, his attention turned back to me. "Regardless the circumstances, you still broke a treaty that has been around for years allowing your kind to coexist with ours."

"I wont apologize for my decision. If I had it to do all over again, I would still cross that line to save Jane. You can't tell me any of you would do differently for the ones you love."

"We're not bloodsuckers. We don't have boundaries," Paul said.

"Maybe the treaty needs to be revised?" The room grew deathly silent. All eyes turned to Aaron. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "Maybe there are some specifications that need to be added to the treaty? The way I see it, your fighting someone who is already on your side. His coven could be an awesome ally. How angry would you all had been if he hadn't helped? If he'd stayed on his side of the line while the real enemy killed Jane and me, would you completely understand or be furious at his inaction? He went against the rules because human lives were at stake. My life was at stake. He saved one of your own, yet you're ready to hang him from the rafters. That's not logical thinking, it's barbaric. To punish him for saving two lives makes you no better than what you claim his type to be." I was impressed by Aaron's passionate speech. His generation could be the one to make changes on how his tribe perceives vampires — or at least nonviolent vampires.

I sat quietly as a discussion broke out amongst the pack. It appeared that half were in agreement with Aaron, while the other half stuck to the rules no matter what the conditions. Sam listened to both sides. After a few heated moments, he took a deep breath and settled everyone down. His vote was the only one that counted, and he was ready to cast it.


	34. Chapter 34 Declaration of Love

**Chapter 34**

**Declaration of Love**

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I watched with sad, weary eyes as he disappeared into the woods. I would have felt more at ease had I'd been able to leave with him, but current circumstances prevented such an action. I glared over at Jacob. Despite my exhaustion, I squared my shoulders back, spun around, and walked to the house at a quickened pace.

I went to thaw in front of the fire, which was roaring inside. My damp clothes were stiff from the cold. With a shiver of vivid recollection, I began going over the nights events. How close had I come to dying? To becoming a vampire? The orange and red flames reminded me of Victoria. I squeezed my eyes shut, but then quickly opened them. The visions in the dark were no better.

"Jane!" A scream stuck in my throat. I twirled around and was caught in a hug. "Thank God you're alright." Nicole eyes were filled with worry. "I've been worried sick about you. When Aaron called and said he had dropped you off at the house, Jacob took off like demon. You're not hurt, are you?"

I shook my head. "No."

"You look terrible. I'll make you some hot tea to warm you and help you sleep."

"I'm fine."

"Jane, you've been through a lot tonight. You'll need help sleeping."

"I'm not going to sleep. I'll wait until Edward comes back."

Nicole's mouth dropped open. "Edward…the vampire who was supposed to stay away from you — who isn't supposed to be on this land — was here?"

"I wouldn't be standing here if he hadn't shown up," I said with assuredness — bracing myself for a fight. "He risked everything to save me."

"He must care about you very much to make such a sacrifice." Nicole smiled. "I'm sure he would insist you lay down and rest."

I relaxed. "He would. He would get angry when I refused. Then he would calm down, think about it, and try and negotiate with me. We would banter back and forth until we came to a reasonable compromise."

"Sounds like you know him pretty well."

Nicole insisted on fixing me a hot cup of coco. I followed her into the yellow and red kitchen, and sat down on a stool at the counter. She told me that Bree and Bryan were asleep upstairs with all the other kids. The adults were sleeping on blowup mattresses. "It's like one gigantic slumber party," she joked.

She told me that they had suspected vampires in the area for a couple of months but never found any. That was the reason Jacob had been concerned about Mom sending me to live with them. However, Mom was desperate and sent me anyway. Their suspicions were confirmed when a couple of vampires (I guessed Roman and Galina) showed up at one of the werewolf's homes. Unfortunately for the vampires, they picked the wrong house. Paul and his family happened to be visiting when they arrived, and he was more than willing and ready for a fight. They chased them away and notified the rest of the pack that they were under attack. The Uley's house was considered their sanctuary for emergencies.

"I don't think you're going to have much of a house to go back to." I peeked over the rim of my cup at Nicole. "Must have been Mr. Black who busted through the house when Victoria had Aaron and me cornered." Nicole grimaced at sound of my news.

I flew off my stool when I heard the front door open. It must have been the fatigue that had me thinking that Edward would have been able to freely walk into the Uley's house. I paused at the threshold looking at Aaron. My eyes roamed over him. There was not a strand of white hair to be seen. He flashed me his dashing smile. I burst into tears and ran into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're alive," I mumbled into his chest once I was able to catch my breath.

"So am I." He chuckled deeply.

"Where are the others?"

He jerked his head back towards the door. "Emergency tribal meeting. They're discussing Snowflake's hasty act of rebellion."

I pulled away from him. "He saved us," I exclaimed in irritation.

"You're preaching to the choir."

"Do you think they will kill him?" I choked back a sob.

He uneasily ran his fingers through his dark hair. "I don't know what they are going to do. I don't even think they know." His tone had a degree of warmth and concern. "Had he killed or bit a human, he would have already been killed. This case isn't so cut and dry. Sure he violated the treaty, but for a good reason. However, you've got some who want to see his head roll just because he's a vampire and a Cullen at that."

Fearful images built in my mind. I fought the panic which was building inside of me. I swallowed with difficulty and found my voice. "Why aren't you at the meeting? You could defend him. You…you could make them see that sometimes provisions have to be made. Damn the rules when lives are at stake."

"Like they are going to listen to anything I have to say. I'm not an elder. Hell, I just became a werewolf. They'll listen to Snowflake before they listen to me."

"Yeah, but you've already killed a vampire," I argued. "That has to hold some clout." Aaron's eyes darkened. A look of discomfort crossed his face. Instantly I was ashamed. I was so worried about my own present conditions that I had totally overlooked his. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. That must have been horrible for you."

"What? No, don't worry about it." He shrugged. "It's what I was born to do."

"You were born for more than just that. I'm sure Amanda would agree with me." I joked, poking him in his side.

"Amanda's number got disintegrated along with my clothes."

"Sorry. Tell me all about it from where you got tossed against the tree up until now. Don't leave anything out."

He grinned, put his heavy arm across my shoulders, and led me to the couch. He began his tale in his deep-timbered voice. "I really wasn't given much time to think when he sent me sailing through the air. I can't say it was my agile surfing skills that kept me from breaking every bone. I've always heard that drunks who are involved in accidents are less likely to get hurt because their bodies are so limber. So that's what I did. I didn't tense my muscles or try _not _to hit the tree. I closed my eyes and went completely limp."

We sat in front of the fire. I closed my eyes and laid my head against his shoulder. In no time his voice faded to a hushed stillness.

If I dreamed I don't recall. I opened my eyes to a faded blue wall. A poster of a dripping wet blond girl in a skimpy white bikini was staring at me. I rolled over and stared at the clock unbelieving. It was already after eight. The moonlight coming through the window told me it was night. I had slept for close to sixteen hours. I flung the covers off me (still in my jeans and sweatshirt) and ran downstairs. Sam, Emily, Jacob, Nicole, and Aaron were all in the living room.

Aaron saw me first. "There is sleeping beauty."

"Jane, you want me to fix you something to eat?" Nicole asked.

"I'm not hungry."

"But it's been a while since you've eaten last."

I ignored her and moved to look at Sam. He and Emily were sitting together on the couch. Aaron was seated in an overstuffed armchair across from where Nicole and Jacob were sitting.

"Have you come to a decision on what to do about Edward?" The fire popped and crackled behind me.

"We pardoned him."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "You pardoned…" My smile froze on my face. "You've already spoken with him? Where is he?"

"Just because we excused him this time, doesn't mean the treaty has been void," Sam said. "He still isn't allowed on our land."

I felt my temper starting to rise. "Why didn't someone wake me when he was here? You all knew I wanted to see him. I'm sure he asked for me."

"Actually — he didn't." Jacob's words were like a punch to my gut. "We let him choose his punishment. You wouldn't believe how quick he was to sacrifice you."

"Jacob." Nicole's soft voice cautioned him.

"No, Nicole. I warned her, Bella warned her, everybody warned her what he was like and she didn't want to listen. Now she has no choice. He promised us he would leave you alone if we would forgive him of his rash action. He told us it would be as if he never existed."

My body grew cold. The discussion Mom and I had in my room came back to memory. He had used those exact same words on her. I slowly shook my head. "You're lying."

"You know I'm telling the truth. You've expected this for a long time. Did you honestly think it wasn't a game to him?" Jacob chuckled bitterly. "He did it to get to Bella. This whole time he's been getting close to you to torment her."

"He came back for me."

"That's the best part. He wasn't counting on Victoria showing up. He thought his little game with you had already played out when Bella sent you here. But then his sister had a vision. He didn't show up to save you. He showed up to kill Victoria — the one vampire who was a constant threat to him. He just played it out like he was here to save you. He figured we wouldn't kill him on the spot if he used that excuse."

I stared at the floor. My heart was numb. I listened to Jacob's story with rising dismay. I didn't want to believe him. Something deep inside told me not to believe him, but his story made complete sense.

"Now thanks to him, you have two more vampires out there who believes he is madly in love with you. Your mother is beside herself, so he should be pleased in knowing he accomplished his goal. In the morning you're getting on a plane to Florida. Your dad and Austen are already in Jacksonville visiting some friends, then they will meet you in Tampa at Renee's. Bella will join you there for Christmas. You wont be coming back here — it's no longer safe. Bella thinks Florida is your best bet for safety. You will remain there."

"Of course." I nodded woodenly. "Excuse me." My voice broke and I ran for the door. The heat from the fireplace caused me feel like I was suffocating.

"Aaron," Sam cautioned his son behind me.

I gulped in the cold air. One hand tightly held my sweatshirt, while the other clutched the pendant around my neck. The tips of the moon and star dug into my skin. _He told us it would be as if he never existed. _Jacob's voice sounded in my head. I bit my lip to keep from screaming. Edward hadn't removed everything that would have reminded me of him like he had done with Mom. Was it because Jacob was lying, or because Edward didn't care enough to take the time?

"Jane, you should come inside and eat." Nicole's voice was gentle.

"He has to be lying." I turned around with pleading eyes. "Please tell me he was lying?" Nicole cast her eyes downward. Tears poured down my face. My legs could no longer hold me up. I crumbled to the ground. "I saw his face when he knew he couldn't save me. I saw his fear. I thought it meant he loved me. That he was scared to lose me." I laughed without humor. "How much can a heart take?"

Nicole sat on the ground next to me. "Who truly knows what's in a person's heart? I'm sure you didn't imagine his love for you. You're exhausted and hungry…you're going to make yourself sick. Come inside and eat something. Tomorrow will be much better, you'll see."

I looked gloomily at her concerned face. "It'll never get better. It's like part of me is dead. I thought I was tougher than Mom, but I'm not. If he would've told me bye, maybe…. I'll never see him again, will I?" The realization was unbearable. _He told us it would be as if he never existed. _But he did exist. He existed in my head, in my heart, everywhere any part of his body had briefly touched mine — the very air I breathed reminded me of him.

Nicole pulled me up and helped me inside. Aaron was waiting at the door. He silently sat next to me while I picked at my peanut butter sandwich. After I threw-up what little I had ate, I curled up alone in his bed. My back faced the poster of the perfect girl. There were no more tears to shed. I laid motionless staring into the night waiting for dawn. _He told us it would be as if he never existed. He told us it would be as if he never existed. He told us it would be as if he never existed…_

A soft tap at the door informed me it was time to get up. I showered and changed clothes. Everyone was waiting for me downstairs. Emily and Sam hugged me bye. Bree said she would miss having a big sister around. Bryan just waved. Aaron came running out of the house with a duffle bag and jumped in the backseat.

"Aaron's going with you to Florida." Jacob toted my suitcase out to the car. Nicole was seated in the driver's seat. "He volunteered to stay a few days with you — in case anything should happen." I opened the passenger door. "Jane, there is life beyond him. Your mother survived — you will too." I looked back at him with lifeless eyes, and slid into the car.

"Florida in December must be wonderful," Nicole said. "I bet the sun shines all the time."

"That's the point," I mumbled staring out the window.

We continued in silence on Highway 101. Aaron slept in the backseat.

"I have to stop at the post office in Port Angeles," Nicole said as we entered the city. "I hope you don't mind." I shook my head.

We turned north on Highway 117 in downtown Port Angeles, then turned off on Eighth Street. Nicole parked in front of the post office and nudged Aaron awake.

"Aaron and I are going inside. Why don't you step out and get you some fresh air? There is a bench and the end of this side street. We shouldn't be too long."

"I'll just wait in the car."

"No. You need some fresh air." I stared at Nicole. She was definitely acting strange. "Do a little people watching. I'll feel rushed if I know you're not comfortable."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Whatever." There wasn't much people watching to be done in December.

I strolled down the one way street towards the bench. I kept my head down making sure not to trip over the uneven sidewalk. I had made it half-way to my advised destination when I stopped. The very air around me seemed electrified. My eyes slowly raised. My insides jangled with excitement. Edward was watching me intently. Neither of us seemed to be able to move. He took the first step.

"Jane," his soft voice full of concern. "Are you alright?"

As though his words released me, I flung myself against him. My trembling limbs clung to him as he tightened his grip — holding me up. After a few moments, I slightly pulled back to look in his eyes which brimmed with tenderness and passion. My hands slid down his arms, feeling the muscles underneath his shirt.

"You exist," I whispered.

His teeth were gleaming white. "Aaron didn't tell you that they pardoned me?"

"Mr. Black told me. He told me the only reason they pardoned you was because you promised to leave me alone. That you only pretended to love me to torment Mom. He made it sound like everything between you and I was a hoax."

His mouth dipped into a frown. "No one told you about the plan?" His soft voice was edged with control.

"Plan?" My mind began to replay the past twenty-four hours. Had I missed something? Was there something someone had told me and I had forgot?

Edward took my hand and we sat on the bench. He put his arm around my waist and drew me next to him. I leaned back against him — his arm remained around my waist. He didn't seem to mind me playing with his hand as he talked.

"When I left to find Eleazar —"

I giggled. "Eleazar? What kind of name is that?"

"It's Hebrew, but my friend is of Spanish descent."

"He's a vampire?"

"Yes." He waited to see if I was going to ask any more questions before he continued. "When I went to find Eleazar, Jacob called Bella to tell her about the attack and possible future attack at La Push."

"Is there going to be another attack?" The thought of Jacob and Paul being pounded (not killed) by vampires was amusing; however, I couldn't bear to think of something terrible happening to Aaron or Nicole and the kids.

"If there is an attack, it wont be much of one. The mongrels should be able to handle it. Anyway, Bella panicked and told Jacob she was going to book you a flight to Renee's and let you live with her. Jacob and Nicole argued. She didn't think what Bella was doing was right."

"Huh, that's funny. She didn't seem to have a problem with it for the month I was held prisoner in her home," I said a little more sarcastic than I had planned. Edward chuckled. His breath on my head was intoxicating. It took sheer willpower for me not turn around and attack him.

"Nicole thought it was only a crush. She didn't know our feelings were that strong for each other." I glowed. He had said, "_our _feelings." At that moment I felt invincible. "After she spoke with Aaron and heard about my selfless attempt at saving you, she had a better understanding of our bond. After hearing Bella and Jacob's plans to keep us apart, she came up with a plan of her own to keep us together. She thought it best if we returned to North Pole. That would give us more time together to think about our next step. She called and told Bella that you were really shaken up and thought it best if you spent some alone time with her."

"So…Mom knows I'm coming home. Does she know you're with me?"

"No."

"You are going with me, aren't you?" I didn't want to be separated from him so soon. There was so much we needed to talk about.

"Yes. Aaron is going too. Bella's going to be angry and try to force me to stay away. I don't want to take the chance of you being alone unprotected."

"Because of Roman and Galina." A low growl rumbled in his throat. "Now that Victoria is dead, they shouldn't be a threat. They only came after me because of her."

"That's true. But now not only have I pissed Roman off by humiliating him, but he has taken a sincere liking to you." I laughed. "What is so amusing?"

"That in seventeen years I've only had two people who have been interested in me and they both have been vampires."

"That's not true. Aaron seems interested."

"Aaron's interested in females period. He's a flirt."

"I've been called worse." I jumped off the bench at the sound of Aaron's voice. He was carrying his duffle bag and my suitcase. Edward slowly rose and stood behind me. "Were you able to get what I asked for?" Edward reached in his pocket and handed Aaron a piece of paper.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Amanda Pittman's cell phone number," Edward explained. "If it hadn't been for Aaron, Nicole's plan wouldn't have worked. He was the messenger. He was there during my trial and telepathically told me everything I needed to know. Of course he asked for a small favor in return."

"How did you manage to get Amanda's number?" I raised an eyebrow inquiringly at Edward.

"Looks like I'm not the only flirt." Aaron winked and threw our bags in a rental car.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Aaron told me Amanda had a friend who worked at a shoe store here in Port Angeles. We talked for a little while, then I simply asked for Amanda's number and she gave it to me."

"Oh, what depths some will go for love," Aaron said.

"Why didn't you tell me about the plan?" I asked Nicole who had been standing back silently watching our exchange. "You saw me falling apart and you didn't say anything." Despite everything she had done for me, I couldn't help but feel angry and hurt.

"I wanted to tell you, but the slightest change in your attitude would have alerted Jake that something was up. I didn't want to risk him finding out."

It hit me how much she had sacrificed herself. "Mr. Black isn't going to be happy with you when he finds out you went behind his back."

She smiled. "He'll be angry with me for a couple of days, but I have my way of getting on his good side."

"You're supposed to keep me away from the enemy — not push me to them." Edward had said she had seen how strong our bond was, but that excuse wasn't good enough for me. "Everyone around you considers Edward to be dangerous. Aren't you worried he'll kill me?"

"I'm human — Jacob's a werewolf. He has the potential to be just as dangerous as Edward. By their reasoning, I shouldn't be with him either — yet we've made it work. Whose to say given the chance you two couldn't do the same? You are both willing to sacrifice so much for each other."

I gave her a warm hug and promised to email her when I got home. Edward thanked her but kept his distance. Aaron volunteered to be our chauffer, and headed towards Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. Edward and I sat in the backseat close to each other.

Aaron called Amanda to chat, which allowed Edward and I to speak in private.

"Promise me you will answer one question without getting angry?" I asked.

He placed a stray hair behind my ear. "Why is it that sometimes I can read your mind and other times I can't?" His amber eyes glowed staring at me. He sighed. "I promise."

"What if you hadn't got there in time? What if Roman or Victoria had killed me? What if I would've died?"

"You didn't."

"What if —" He groaned. "You promised," I said in a firm voice.

"I would have killed whoever killed you," he responded honestly.

"After that, what?" He didn't respond — he didn't have to. I knew what his answer would've been. "What if Roman would have changed me?"

Edward shook his head. "He wouldn't have been able to."

"But what if he had?"

Edward's smile was strained. "That's two quest—"

"Would you have killed me?"

His jaw tightened. "I could never…"

"Would you have still loved me?"

"Always."

"What if I had turned out like them?"

His soft eyes grew wild. "I would never let you be like them."

"You can't prevent everything. If I was to became a vampire —"

"Let's just drop it. Please." He moved uncomfortably next to me. But I didn't heed his plea.

"Why does it terrify you so of someone becoming like you?" I loved him. I couldn't see what he saw. His family were good people. It was hard to imagine any of them as blood craved vampires.

He grabbed my hand and placed it on the center of his chest. "What do you feel?" he asked. His chest was like stone. Before I could answer, he removed my hand from his chest, and placed it on my own. "Now what do you feel?" My heart was beating impossibly fast. He placed my hand against his smooth, pale face. "I'm cold because I have no beating heart. I'm not human. I should've died in 1918. I should never have been. You should be able to live as if I never exist—"

"Don't say it." I jerked my hand away and smothered a sob. I turned my face away from his gaze. I couldn't imagine a world without him. I couldn't begin to think of how different my life would have been had I never met him. I took a couple of deep breaths and composed myself before I faced him again with a critical squint. "Are you telling me you are willing to change my bedpan when I get old?" I asked to lighten the mood.

He smiled his mercurial smile. "Even more. I will love every wrinkle. Every gray hair."

"What if I'm bald?"

"The skin covering your cranium."

"I'll probably be so decrepit I wont be able to see or hear you. My mind will be gone."

He pulled me closer to him. I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Then every day will be like the first day we met."

"I hope it's better than that." We shared a laugh. "When my heart stops beating, then what?" He didn't answer. I couldn't bring myself to turn and look at his face. _Because sometimes I want you to._

"What?"

_You can read my mind when I allow you to, or when something overwhelms me._

"Interesting. I would love to be able to read it all the time."

_I beat you would. _He chuckled at my thought. _There are a lot of things I would love to be able to do but can't._

"Like what?"

I didn't answer verbally or telepathically. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his closeness while I thought of all the unspoken things I would love to do.


	35. Chapter 35 We All Fall Down

Chapter 35

We All Fall Down

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

I sat between Edward and Aaron on the flight back to Fairbanks. We discussed our plans for once we landed.

"She is going to be livid when she sees you," I told Edward.

"Why don't we keep him a secret for now?" Aaron suggested.

"That sounds reasonable," Edward said. "We definitely don't want a public scene."

"A secret for how long?" I didn't want to wait. I was going to have to leave again in a few days to fly to Tampa for Christmas and chances were I wouldn't be back. Edward must have sensed my tension. He gently kissed the palm of my hand before replying.

"Not long. Give her today to see that you are unharmed."

Aaron and I nodded in agreement.

"While we're having to be cooped up with Mom," I said, "why don't you check on Reggie?"

Edward's mouth thinned with displeasure. "Rosalie and Jasper have already spoken with him. They didn't detect anything unusual."

"But you never saw him." I lowered my voice. "You are the only one who can read minds. Rosalie's charm wouldn't have worked, and his feelings wouldn't have been anything out of his norm to alert Jasper. Only you can see what he is really thinking."

"Jane, I think you're just being paranoid. There is no way he remembers anything about that night."

My gut wouldn't let the matter drop. "You don't have anything else to do. Aaron will be watching over me. It'll only take a few minutes. After you've seen him, come by the house — I'll leave my window unlocked. Later tonight you can laugh and say you told me so."

He grinned. "Since I can say I told you so."

Aaron watched a movie while Edward and I talked. He gave me an update on what the rest of the Cullens had been up to. I was disappointed to hear that Alice wasn't going to be in town. If I got sent to live in Florida, there was no telling when I would see her again. I voiced my concern to him.

"Jane, it would be easier for us to visit you in Florida than it would be if you remained in La Push."

"You don't get it. Even when it rains the sun shines. It can be cloudy one second then bam, the sun breaks through."

His mouth twitched with amusement. "The sun doesn't shine twenty-four hours a day. We can play at night."

"You can't stay boarded up in a house thirteen hours a day. I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask me to do anything. You're willing to make sacrifices to be with me — I'm willing to make sacrifices to be with you."

Our three hour flight wasn't long enough. Once we exited the plane, I would yet again have to be separated from him. We remained in our seat and were the last to leave. As we approached the final gate, Edward grabbed my elbow and pulled me back to him.

I gasped. "Are they —"

His lips prevented me from finishing my sentence. My flash of panic was forgotten as I drank in the sweetness of his kiss. His demanding lips caressed mine, and I responded eagerly to his touch. Aaron cleared his throat behind me. With much effort, Edward and I pulled ourselves apart — our passion left both of us breathless.

I hurried through the gate with Aaron. We retrieved our luggage and went to find Mom. She was anxiously pacing back and forth, chewing on her thumb nail. Our eyes met, and she ran to greet me.

"Oh, Jane." Her small hands smoothed my hair, then touched my cheeks before settling on my shoulders. "Thank God nothing happened to you." Her worried brown eyes glanced at Aaron. "Thank you for looking out for her." Aaron smiled and inclined his head.

"Mom, we're really tired. Can we go home?" I wanted to hurry and leave before she caught a glimpse of Edward. He would continue to linger in the background until he saw us safely leave.

Mom and I started arguing as soon as she turned on the highway.

"I can't believe he risked your life," she vented. "Now Jacob and the others are in jeopardy because of him."

"What? They told you of a possible vampire threat before you ever sent me to La Push." I threw the words at her like stones. "You can't blame my close encounter with death on Edward. You should be kissing his feet for ignoring that stupid treaty and saving me."

"You're defending him after what he did to you? After finding out that his apparent affection for you was all a ruse?"

I quickly turned from her gaze to stare out the window. Damn. I had forgot that she didn't know that I knew Jacob had lied about Edward's feelings. I was supposed to be in mourning — devastated. Mom mistook my sudden stillness for sadness.

"Honey, I know it hurts. You don't want to believe that someone can be so calloused, but you have to remember…Edward is a vampire. He has no soul." I clamped down on my bottom lip to keep from lashing out. "Now do you understand why it is so dangerous for you to be with him?"

I glanced down at her hand resting on my knee. I picked it up and studied the scar on her wrist. She tried to pull away, but I held it tighter, running a finger across her cold skin.

"What happened?" I asked.

Her voice sounded tired. "James. He was Victoria's partner. I was watching Edward and his family play baseball when James, Victoria, and Laurent arrived. James got a whiff of my smell and took an interest in me." A chill crawled up my spine. It was uncanny how likened our lives were. "The Cullens tried to hide me. I went with Alice and Jasper to Phoenix to get away. They didn't know James had followed me there. He tricked me into thinking he had Renee, and demanded that I meet him alone if I wanted her to live. He'd lied, of course. I didn't know until I got to the studio that Renee was safe in Florida. He was waiting on me with a video camera. He wanted to tape my torture for Edward. He toyed with me a while — knocked me around. He became frustrated when I refused to beg Edward to take vengeance on my behalf. He broke my leg then bit me."

I dropped her hand. "Bit you? I thought once someone was bitten they turned into a vampire or died."

"I would have been changed, but Edward got to me in time. He was able to suck the venom out before it reached my heart."

"Venom? Like a snake bite?"

"You could say that."

"So, Edward prevented you from becoming like him?"

"Thankfully he wanted me to keep my soul, or he just didn't enjoy the thought of keeping me around forever. Jane, you shouldn't have to worry about any of this supernatural mumbo-jumbo. You should be hanging out with kids your age — _human _teenagers. Having a normal life. There are plenty of good, decent boys out there for you to date. There is one nice looking guy who has been coming by looking for you. Said you was in his class."

There was that uneasy feeling again. "Who?"

Mom thought for a moment before replying. "Reggie Adams. He was in that bad vehicle accident at the end of October."

As casually as I could manage, I asked, "What did he want?"

"He said he just wanted to talk. It had been a while since he had seen you. I kept forgetting to have you call him." Like that would have ever happened.

She talked to Aaron for the rest of the ride home. She was intrigued on how everyone at La Push was handling the recent events. I tuned them out. The nagging in the back of my mind refused to be stilled. Edward had said that Reggie couldn't possibly know the truth about what had happened Halloween night, but his eyes at the grocery store that day had told me different. I shuddered. What could be so important that he wanted to discuss with me in person?

When we pulled up to the house, a calming sensation covered my body. The wayward daughter had returned home. There were no trumpeters sounding my return. What should have been a rose petal covered walkway was covered in snow. The family who should have been rushing out to greet me was over three thousand miles away.

Mom opened the door to let us in. "Sorry for the lack of Christmas decorations. We didn't put up any this year since we aren't going to be here to enjoy them. Jane, show Aaron to Austen's room. I'm going to start the lasagna."

Aaron followed me upstairs and I pointed to the door at the end of the hall. "I'm sure it's a mess," I said. "Mom just keeps his door closed all the time. He has all kind of gaming systems and a computer. Help yourself to whatever."

I left Aaron and went to my own room. The aroma of jasmine and sweet pea invaded my senses when I opened my door. The room was just how I had left it. I heaved my suitcase on top of the bed and began to unpack. I was certain Jacob had been the one to return to his house and gather my belongings. Nothing inside was folded. I couldn't tell what was clean and what was dirty.

"Just as I had pictured it." I glanced over at Aaron leaning against my open door. "A pretty room full of butterflies."

"At least I don't have a poster of a naked person on my wall," I replied.

"She isn't naked."

"May as well be," I mumbled, turning my attention back to unpacking.

Aaron helped himself inside. He walked around studying my room. He picked up my candles on the dresser and smelt each one. "Austen could use some of these. Your room smells much nicer than his." He walked over to my bookshelf and gave a low whistle. "Bookworm."

I gave up on trying to figure out what was clean. I scooped the clothes up and carried them to the hamper in the bathroom. When I walked back in the bedroom, Aaron was staring at my painting.

"I'm not completely finished."

"It…it's incredible," he said. "It looks just like La Push."

"Glad you like it. It's your Christmas gift." I shut my suitcase and placed it back in the closet.

"Is it worth it?" I paused not understanding his question. "Is being with him worth risking all this?"

I groaned and fell back on the bed. "Not you too. If you feel that way about him, why are you trying to help us?" I replied sharply.

"No, I'm not saying…" He straddled the chair at my desk. "I just want to make sure you've thought this all the way through. Is being with him worth the possibility of losing your life? Is it worth being ostracized? Is it worth you and your mother's relationship?"

I didn't answer right away. I honestly considered his question. After a few moments, I sat up on the bed and looked him in the face. "Yes. Mom may never agree with me on who I choose to love. I actually have a better chance of survival being with him than without. As far as being a social outcast — I was that before I met him."

"Okay." Aaron's head bobbed up and down as he thought over my answer. "Let's say your mom finally agrees and accepts your relationship with her ex. All the evil vampires have been terminated. Right now, you are both teenagers and in the public eye look like a normal couple. However, when you get in your thirties, he's still going to be a teenager. How do you plan on pulling that off?"

"In the public eye I could pass for his mother, or aunt, or older sister. What goes on behind closed doors is no ones business." The Cullens had proved that it was possible to live a double life.

"When you get in your sixties?"

"Grandmother…great aunt."

"Late eighties?"

I chuckled. "Wow, thanks for the long life. I think if I live that long, we will move to a remote village in the Amazon and live amongst a tribe — open and free."

Then Aaron changed tactics. "Would you marry him if he asked?"

I felt my cheeks warm. I broke into a wide, open smile. "Without a doubt."

"What about kids?" Aaron's brow wrinkled and he drew his lips in thoughtfully. "I don't think vampires can reproduce."

"Why can't they? A werewolf can, obviously," I retorted in cold sarcasm.

His dark eyes twinkled with humor. "But we are alive. We age…eventually. If you had a kid by them, would it age? How would that work?"

"How the hell should I know?" I was really starting to hate this conversation. "If we want kids, we'll just adopt."

"Like that would ever work. How are you going to explain Snowflake's ability to stay forever looking seventeen to the adoption agency? Then you take a chance of your kid growing up and hating his parents. He could get angry because you refused to let him stay out all night and spill the beans about his father being a vampire."

"Fine. We'll remain childless. Are you happy?"

"Are you?"

I got up and walked over to the window. "I'm not one of these girls who can't wait to have a kid. I would be perfectly content at remaining childless as long as I'm with the one I love. It's not like we would be the only couple who…" I had pulled back the curtains to unlock the window for Edward, when my eyes froze on the Dodge truck parked in front of the house. A figure emerged from the vehicle.

"Who's that?" I jumped, not realizing Aaron was standing behind me.

"Reggie Adams."

"Isn't he the one who attacked you Halloween night?" I nodded in reply, not trusting my voice at that moment. "What does he want?" His humorous tone from earlier was gone.

"To talk about that night." I turned from the window and proceeded down the stairs and out the front door with Aaron following closely behind.

Reggie's arm was out of the brace and in a sling. I didn't think it was possible, but he looked scarier than he had before the accident. His body mass had been decreased tremendously, but his wild eyes made up for the loss. There were several scars on his face. He had parked in the middle of the road and had just made it to the edge of the yard, when I came out the house. He remained still as I crossed the yard to him.

"Well, well. Welcome home, Watson. I've missed you."

I kept my distance and crossed my arms. "What do you want, Reggie? Don't pretend like we are long, lost friends."

"I would like a moment of your time in private." His eyes flickered behind me.

"No way," Aaron said.

"What are you, her bodyguard?" Reggie snickered.

"You could say that." Aaron's voice was cold and smooth.

"Whatever you have to say to me can be said in front of him," I said drawing Reggie's attention back to me. "Trust me. He already knows everything."

"Everything?" Reggie spat the word back at me. "He knows your boyfriend isn't human?"

I remained stone faced. Reggie had confirmed my suspicions. He knew the Cullens' secret. "What are you talking about?"

His eyes were hard with anger. "Even when I was bench pressing four hundred pounds, I wouldn't have been able to nearly rip a guys arm off or sling a big guy like I was around like a paper doll. I was right all along — Edward Cullen is a freak."

I forced a laugh. "Reggie, that must have been some powerful medication they gave you that night. All Edward and his brothers did was pull you off of me. You were trying to rape and kill me, remember that part about that night?"

He shot me a twisted smile. "Of course. That was the most fun I'd had in quite some time."

I ignored his rude remark. "Reggie, I don't know what to tell you. You were very drunk. They told you to leave the party or I was going to press charges. You stumbled out the door. The only thing they did wrong was let you leave while you were intoxicated. I can assure you that Edward is as much of a human as you are." _That _was no lie.

"I didn't imagine it." Reggie no longer sounded sure of himself.

"You did," I said. "In the condition they found you in, I'm sure they had to heavily medicate you. Chances are you had frequent hallucinations in your comatose state. Hallucinations can seem very real." His eyes dropped from my stare. "I'm sorry that you have been expecting to blame someone else for your—"

Aaron's body tensed behind me. I glanced to see him staring back at the house.

"Jane, stay here." Aaron took off running towards the house. I was never good at following orders. I took off after him.

I collided into his back just inside the door. What I saw chilled me to the bone. Across the room, Galina had Mom in a tight grip. I gasped and tried to go around Aaron, but he turned and held me in place.

"Jane, it is so good to see you again." My eyes darted to the stairs. Roman smiled his sadistic vampire smile. "I thought I killed you," he said to Aaron.

Aaron kept his hands on my shoulders, but turned to glare at Roman. "It takes more than a tree to kill a werewolf."

"Oh, I know what it takes to kill a werewolf, boy. I've been killing them before your grandfather was born." Again, he smiled at me. "Where is Edward? We have some unfinished business."

My body shook from fear and hatred. "He remained in Forks to assist the werewolves in the upcoming vampire attack. He agreed to help them in return for a pardon in breaking the treaty."

"Shame. I was so looking forward to round two. Now I know what to expect from him. He won't win so easily next time." His lively red eyes glowed. "But enough about him, let's talk about you. If my memory serves me correct, you were about to join me before we were rudely interrupted. I found you to make good on my promise."

"As I told you last time, I'm not interested."

"And as I told you, I'm not asking for your permission. You can freely come with me, or I'll make you. Either way, you will be mine."

Aaron reacted when Roman moved in my direction. He pushed me backwards out the door onto a pile of snow which broke my fall. I hurried to my feet to find a white werewolf forcing Roman back up the stairs.

"Son of a bitch," Reggie breathed behind me. Roman had caused me to forget about Reggie. I couldn't be concerned with what he saw or heard — we would have to deal with that later.

I rushed forward, but Aaron was intent on keeping me from getting anywhere near Roman or Galina who still held Mom.

"Your friend may be able to protect you," Roman said, "but I seriously doubt he can protect you and your mother. Jane, only you have the power to save her. Join me, and you mother lives. Refuse and…well, Galina." Mom yelled out in pain as Galina, with a flick of her wrist, snapped her lower arm. "There are many more bones to go. It all depends on how much pain you want your dear, sweet mother to endure."

Aaron continued to growl and snap at Roman, but he knew that he couldn't take on both vampires. If he engaged Roman in a battle, Galina would attack him from the rear. Mom would be free, but only for a moment. There was no chance of escape.

"How do I know you won't kill her if I _freely _join you?" I asked staring through blurry eyes at Mom.

"Jane, you know he's lying." Mom's voice was strained from the pain. I flinched as she roared in agony. Galina had dislocated her knee with a swift kick to the back of her leg. She forced Mom to remain standing by keeping her arm around her neck. I was slightly comforted to see the rise and fall of her chest. At least Galina wasn't choking her — yet.

"I've come for you — not her," Roman said. "She is just leverage to help me get what I want. She's a weak human, no threat to us. We won't kill her."

I never considered myself a brave person. I was terrified of dying. The thought of joining Roman and his diabolical sister made me sick. But seeing Mom in so much pain made me desperate. I loved Edward, and I was certain — beyond a shadow of a doubt — that he loved me. He would forgive me.

"Fine," I whispered. Aaron gave a low growl. "Aaron, I have to. I can't let them steadily torture her. It's the only way."

Aaron had other plans. I screamed for him to stop as he lunged forward at Roman. It was a death sentence. His teeth missed, and Roman backslapped him, sending him colliding with the wall. The impact shook the house.

"You are a fool," Roman sneered.

I jumped in front of Aaron, holding up my hands like a shield. "You can't kill him, or the deal is off."

My body froze in fear at the sound of Roman's menacing laughter. "I can do whatever I want. You are right on one account: The deal is off. I'm going to kill him, Galina is going to kill your mother, and you still will be mine."

He brushed me to the side like I was speck of fuzz on his shirt. Before he had time to lay a hand on Aaron, Edward soared down the stairs and attacked Roman from behind.

Galina roared in frustration, and pushed Mom down to join her brother in battle. She didn't get far. As soon as Mom was out of the way, Aaron jumped up and leaped at Galina. His momentum sent them crashing through the sliding glass doors, and into the backyard.

Edward glanced at me to make sure I was okay. He was satisfied with what he saw, and took off after Roman who had fled out the backdoor.

With the fight roaring outside, I scrambled across the floor to check on Mom. She was in extreme pain, but was holding herself together fairly well.

"I'm going to call an ambulance for you." I gave her a reassuring smile.

Her pale face smiled back. "You should wait until they're finished. With Edward's rage at Roman for laying his hands on you — the fight won't take very long."

"I knew he wasn't human. His eyes from that night haunt me day and night…awake or asleep. You don't forget an encounter like that — one that takes everything from you." Reggie's voice was bitter.

Slowly, I rose and turned around. He stood at the front door — his face damp with perspiration despite the cold outside.

"I tried to warn you that night." My voice was unbelievably calm. "I told you to just walk away — that no one had to get hurt — but you wouldn't listen. He wouldn't have hurt you had you not been trying to kill me."

"You don't get it, Watson." Reggie's eyes looked distant. "He took everything from me. He should've just killed me. Instead he left me a walking zombie. All I had going for me was my athleticism. Now what am I supposed to do? I'm not smart, I just barely got by and that was because the school needed me to win games. All my so called friends could care less about me now that I have nothing to offer them." He chuckled a dry, cynical sound. "Hell, even my parents could care less as to what happens to me. My dad pretends I don't exist, and Mom looks at me with pity. For once she thinks someone besides her is worthy of suicide."

"I'm sorry. I can't do to undo the past."

"I'm not asking for a miracle or your sympathy," Reggie spat. "I've given up on miracles and I have no need for sympathy."

"Then what is it you want from me?"

"I've lost something precious to me, it seems only fair for you to do the same."

I quickly glanced over my shoulder expecting to see Edward. The doorway was empty except for the snowflakes fluttering inside. I jumped at the sound of a loud pop, like a firecracker, and Mom's deafening screams. I looked back at Reggie, baffled to see him holding a small, smoking revolver. Then I felt the pain.

I thought I was having a heart attack at first. Instinctively, I placed my left hand where the pain was and gazed down. My shirt was quickly becoming stained with blood. I blinked several times, not believing my eyes. Mom continued to steadily scream at Reggie. I stumbled backwards a few steps before my knees buckled and I fell to the floor. My body turned cold as blood continued to cover my shirt.

Mom pulled herself with her good arm over to my side. She wiped the tears off my cheeks, which I was unaware were falling. "It's going to be okay," she said through tears of her own.

"He…he shot me." I gave a choked laugh. Reggie had been referring to my own life as being the most precious thing to me — not Edward.

"Edward," Mom yelled. "Edward!"

I stared up at the ceiling. It was getting harder to breath. "He can't…be around me…not like this," I gasped.

I never had to see him to know when he was close. I closed my eyes at the sound of Reggie's gun going off again, then a startled cry before silence. Edward fell to his knees beside me. His eyes were wide with panic.

"We have to get her to a hospital," he managed to say through tight lips.

"There is no time, you know that." Mom sobbed.

I didn't want to turn my eyes away from him. So many things I wanted to say. I tried to speak, but ended up coughing instead. He didn't seem to be bothered by the blood he gently wiped from the side of my mouth, though I knew how difficult my current condition must have been for him.

"You can save her," Mom said.

Edward slowly shook his head. "I can't."

"You have to." Mom's voice rose with panic. "I can't live without her. You owe me, dammit! Don't make me put her in the ground."

"You don't know what you're asking me to do." Edward's voice was thick and unsteady.

"Don't I? If anyone knows what they are asking for, it's me. Please. If not for me or you, then for her."

His sad eyes bore into mine. I saw his pain, fear, misery — his love. _Whatever you decide, I'll agree with, _I told him. _Just please, the only thing I ask of you is not to give up on yourself. Your family still needs you — the world still needs you. _I smiled up at him. _I now know what Alfred Lord Tennyson meant, and I agree. I love you._

"I love you too." He bent down and tenderly touched his lips to mine. I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see the fear of death in them. Even knocking on deaths door, I still managed to feel a heady sensation as he pressed his lips in the hollow of my neck. There was a sharp pain which lasted only a moment. "Forgive me for being so selfish," he whispered as his lips brushed against my ear.

I couldn't respond. Suddenly, my body felt like it was on fire. I had never known of any pain like I experienced at that moment. I cried out, squeezing Edward's granite hand with all my strength. My body began to convulse. I could feel my heart beating furiously where my trembling hand still covered the hole in my chest. And just as soon as it had started — it stopped.

My breathing stopped.

My heart stopped.

My intellect stopped.

My life stopped.

…My life began.


	36. Epilogue

Epilogue

**Disclaimer: All characters associated with the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended at any time.**

**JWPOV**

Christmas lights hung throughout the city. Up and down the streets people hustled doing last minute shopping. A group of kids were engaged in a snowball war. The city of North Pole really did look like a place where St. Nick would live.

We continued to drive further south of the city, and turned off the main road. Six miles later, we pulled up to a two-story home. I giggled at the display of Santa's sleigh on the roof. It had suffered through the years. Several reindeer had broken antlers, one was missing a leg, Rudolph was missing his nose, and the sleigh was being held together with duct tape.

"I think it's time for some new decorations." Edward no longer had to read my mind to know what I was thinking.

I got out of the car and instinctively breathed in the cold air. "It gives them character. I like it."

Edward removed the gifts from the trunk, then he and I casually walked to the front door. There was laughter coming from inside the house. I lightly knocked three times.

"You don't have to knock," Mom said as she opened the door to greet us. She gave me a tight squeeze and motioned us inside. Edward headed to the Christmas tree to lay out the presents.

Dad stood from his recliner and gave me a hug. "Help yourself in front of the fire and get warm," he said.

"I'm fine, Dad." I turned my attention to the girl sitting on the couch. "Let me see." She stood and happily showed me her engagement ring. "Have you and Austen set a date yet?"

Bree Black smiled revealing her perfect white teeth. "I'm hoping for a summer wedding. Dad wants us to finish college, but I don't want to wait that long. Mom's helped me get on fulltime where she works. I figured I could get some experience under my belt, and hopefully find a job in Fairbanks by the time we get married. I can work while Austen finishes college."

"You know if you ever need anything, Edward and I will be more than happy to help." I had quickly caught on to the secret of the Cullens' wealth: Alice, along with Father Time.

Mom perched herself on the armrest of Dad's chair. "I told them they could live with us while they both continued going to school fulltime."

"Who wants to be newlyweds and live with their parents the first couple of years of their marriage?" Austen mocked in a friendly voice.

"My family's house here in North Pole is vacant." Edward joined me on the love seat. "They wouldn't have a problem with you living there."

"We appreciate the offer, but we want to try and make it on our own," Austen said.

I smiled at my younger brother. He had come along way in the past seven years. We all had.

Conversation swirled around me as I stared at the spot where I had died seven years ago. Reggie Adams had intended to kill both me and Edward. Whereas Edward was practically indestructible, I was not.

While Edward and Aaron Uley was preoccupied fighting the evil vampires from Russia, Roman and Galina, Reggie shot me in the chest. Hearing the sound of the gun along with Mom's screams, Edward quickly finished Roman off, and raced back to the house. Reggie stupidly fired at him, but no bullet could penetrate his skin. Reggie didn't suffer as Edward would have liked. At that moment, he didn't have time to waste on him. He swiftly broke his neck and turned his attention to me.

Mom knew I was dying. She begged Edward to turn me into a vampire. She would rather have had me as a vampire forever than the alternative. Vampirism she could handle — death she couldn't. Reluctantly, Edward obeyed. He didn't do it for Mom or even for me, but for himself. He, much like Mom, couldn't let me go.

Reggie's death was considered a suicide. They found him hanging from the goalpost on the football field, courtesy of Aaron.

I spent my first year and a half as a vampire in Denali. Edward stayed with me while the rest of his family remained in North Pole and continued with their façade. He along with Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar helped me with my transformation.

Mom, along with Alice, visited me every other weekend after my first couple of months in Denali. She helped build my defenses against the need for human blood. She also took care of my nonexistent human life. Dad believed I remained living in La Push. I had to frequently call him every week to keep him from calling the Black's so often. They could only come up with just so many excuses on why I was never available when he called. Luckily, I was able to avoid him during the holidays with excuses and lies.

I saw my father and Austen for the first time after my transformation the week before I was supposed to have graduated. Edward stayed close by in case I needed assistance. He had been worried that it was too soon for me to be around so many humans.

Dad was a little shocked by my appearance. My eyes were no longer a dark brown, but golden. "All my friends are wearing these colored contacts," I told him. My dirty-blond hair hung in long graceful curves over my shoulders. I was paler than before, but I looked healthy and I was happy.

Needless to say the meeting went well. I had to excuse myself a few times and walk away to gain control. Dad got agitated when I told him I didn't plan to walk graduation day, and that I was going to independently study under a well-known artist in Chicago before attending college. A couple of days later when Edward and I were driving back to Denali, he had told me he was certain that one of my abilities was to make anyone believe anything.

Edward and I were married two months later at the Cullens house in North Pole. We laughed when the preacher got to the "till death do you part" vow. We were surrounded by family and a couple of friends. Nicole Black came with Bree and the newest addition to their family — Lucas Black.

Aaron and his fiancé, Sable Brewer, also attended. Sable was the girl Aaron had imprinted on. His fling with Amanda Pittman lasted only two dates; they had had nothing in common. A few weeks after he'd vowed to be a bachelor all his life, he met Sable. She happened to be doing clinicals at the hospital the same night Nicole went into labor with Lucas. Aaron said all it took was one glance across the waiting room. They married a month after Edward and I. Since then, they've had two kids and expecting another. They insisted that we become godparents to their kids. We humbly accepted.

Since my transformation, Aaron and Edward had become close friends, and he continually argued with the elders in the tribe to modify the vampire treaty. One of his proposals was any vampire with golden eyes were allowed, but red eyes were not. No, the elders didn't accept that one either. They refused to budge. Their reasoning was that if they allowed one set of vampires on their land, then nothing could stop the others. Irina was still a threat. She had abandoned the Denali Coven — choosing to turn nomad after they refused to help her attack the werewolves. No one was sure of her whereabouts, or what evil plans she may be concocting for her revenge.

The Cullens were ecstatic to have me in their family — including Rosalie. Carlisle referred to me as the missing link. Two years after our wedding, Edward and I, along with the rest of the Cullens, moved to Connecticut. I attended school like the others and was expected to graduate next year. Edward promised we could travel to Europe together afterwards. He knew how much I always wanted to visit their museums, art galleries, and historical land sites.

Dad was the only one in the family who was clueless as to what had happened to me. Austen had learned through Bree. He didn't seemed surprised, and he adored and respected Edward and the rest of the Cullens. Emmett and Jasper treated him like their little brother also. They were very protective of my human family.

Mom forgave Edward for everything. They both had been freed from their demons. She privately joked at how she would forever be linked with her two boyfriends from high school: her son marrying Jacob's daughter, and her daughter marrying Edward himself. "Thank God I only had two boyfriends and two kids," she would say.

I ceased my reminiscing when Dad moved over to the tree and began passing out presents. We opened the gifts like a normal family. Mom motioned us to move to the kitchen after every present was opened, the wrappings thrown away, and we all thanked one another for the generous gifts.

"Everyone, hold on for a moment," Dad said. "There is something special I want to share." He disappeared into his study, and returned to the living room with a thick folder in his hand. "Bella, and maybe Jane and Austen know that I have been working on a novel for nearly twenty-six years. I have finally finished and have found an editor."

We each praised him with a either a clap or a verbal acclamation.

"Can we now know what it's about?" I asked.

Dad smiled. "A love story between two star-crossed lovers. The male character has a dark family secret which causes him to be unsociable and cold. Then unexplainable circumstances brings him across the female character's path. They fall madly in love and face various adversities in their relationship."

"How does it end?"

"I'll just say everyone likes a happy ending." Dad winked. Edward and I exchanged a glance.

"I'm really happy for you Dad, but I'm starving right now." Austen escaped to the kitchen with Bree and my parents steadily talking about Dad's book behind him.

I rose to follow, but Edward took my hand and led me outside.

"Does he know?" I asked. The wind whipped my hair around my face.

"Not yet. His novel couldn't possibly be based on us. It's true he'll have to find out sooner or later. I'm sure Bella will take care of it. I think he will handle it well just as Austen did."

His gaze was as soft as a caress and for a long moment, I looked back.

"Then is there a reason you drug me out here?" I asked in a teasing manner.

His eyes sparkled when he laughed. "Do I have to have a reason to want to be alone with my wife?"

_Never._

He pulled me close to him — his embrace encompassed more than my waist. Though my heart no longer thumped, my body still responded to his presence. Parting my lips, I raised myself to meet his kiss.

**Author's Notes: **I would like to thank everyone who read and responded. I can't believe I have finally finished this story. I hope you all enjoyed the journey. I know it was difficult for those who are Bella/Edward forever. Thank you for sticking with me. Oh…The End;)


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